Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2011 11:26:05 GMT -6
Hey, “Boss”.
It’s been a while Andrew, although let’s face it we both know it has been a long time coming. In fact I am surprised that you and I haven’t been booked to face one another before, but then I suppose you had that whole “take out Ben & Jerry” shtick going on for the past few months. Oh, congrats on that by the way. Looks like you finally pinned down the secret to winning a championship.
Have Jimmy Zane as an opponent.
God bless the perennial jobber, the unsung hero in the wrestling hierarchy, aiding returning “stars” since the dawn of time.
So I guess this is the part where I mention the Young Guns and how I never really respected you as leader and how you’re a failure, yadda yadda yadda….
That ship sailed a long time ago and I’m pretty sure it struck an iceberg or something.
Listen Andrew, your inability as a leader is pretty irrelevant, you’ve come back and done pretty well for yourself and hey, maybe being a number two suits you. Venom made a mistake making you leader in his absence and your ego clouded your judgement, it happens. Not all of us are suited to taking the bull by the horns and making something of ourselves, and that isn’t meant as an insult.
Okay, maybe a little.
Maybe I should be a little pissed that you just took your ball and went home Andrew, but hell we both know the Young Guns was a dying faction held together by the successes of everybody but Jimmy Zane. Sooner or later it was going to fall apart and truth be told, you did me a favour. Since it all collapsed around us I have gone on to become the NCW National Champion, get on Leonard Fox’s nerves and even got the…erm, “honour” of making Joe Everyman a centurion.
Really, you leaving was the best thing to happen to me since cracking Todd Williams in the face with a steel chair and God knows that was pretty sweet.
I know that the “dirtsheets” and the smarks are probably circulating some sort of rumour about “backstage” rumblings between us to build one half of my opponents into something they’re not but frankly Andrew, despite our past you really are nothing but a side-show this weekend as far as I am concerned. I know, I know with our past as former Young Guns perhaps there should be more to this but frankly all you are to me is some guy I used to occasionally tag with.
Now I know you, or Rob, or Steve or whoever has your back these days will probably tell me that disrespecting you is at my own peril and if I underestimate you then you will show me exactly what you’re really made of, which I suspect is inadequacy draped in a silver medal, but you do not particularly worry me Andrew. I saw exactly what you could do when you were “leading” me and frankly it wasn’t all that. Oh sure, you’ve got some talent but let’s face it Andrew when it comes to you and Rob, you’re definitely the wingman and not the “star player”.
I am sure you could list of a multitude of reasons why you think you can shut me up, hell everybody seems to yet here we are, another week, still not silenced. Frankly it is actually getting a little dull listening to the psycho-babble that people dish out week after week about me, hell Nathan Webb still hasn’t untwisted his panties after I beat him about 10 weeks ago and every time Jimmy Zane hears me mention his name he seems to **** out a kidney. So please, feel free to surprise me but as I know you may need a little help here’s a little “Opposing Roberto Verona 101” to get you started.
Let’s call it a favour to an old “friend”. I’ll see you Saturday Andrew, let’s see if you can finally surprise me.
Hannah Reed : Wait, so Leonard allowed him to compete despite being advised against it?
Roberto Verona : Yeah, pretty much. Apparently a PhD in the Biomechanics of the Musculoskeletal System is trumped by the few hundred grand Venom t-shirts make. Go figure.
Hannah Reed : Why did Venom go along with it? Surely he knew the risk?
Roberto Verona : Pig headedness, you know Venom, he does whatever the hell he pleases and as long as Fox was prepared to allow him to compete he wasn’t going to do the sensible thing and recuperate.
Hannah Reed : You know, I find it really hard to understand the psychology of you guys sometimes.
Roberto Verona : The adrenaline rush of several thousand people chanting your name and the glory of victory clouds your judgement Hannah, sitting around on your ass recuperating from injury just invites melancholy. I don’t blame Venom, he did what countless other guys have done in the past.
Hannah Reed : True.
Roberto Verona : But that isn’t the point, the point is that Leonard thinks it is acceptable to send out half-fit superstars for the sake of money. Then to top it all off, when the guy he’s facing goes ahead and injures him he does absolutely nothing about it. Just like he did nothing about Spike Kane’s drug habits, Jacobsen’s petulant little assault on Doc and countless other misdemeanours that go on backstage.
Hannah Reed : Isn’t that the way the business works?
Verona smiles.
Roberto Verona : Yes. And that is why “The Ace” is about to taste a little bit of “vigilante justice”. If Leonard can’t be bothered to at least fine the man who may have ended another’s career despite knowing full well about his injury problems then I will punish him for him. And it is going to cost him a hell of a lot more than a couple of grand.
Hannah Reed : I don’t like the sound of this, I can’t help but think you’re biting off more than you can chew Roberto, Fox is out to get you now. You saw what he did with Rob earlier and if he is happy crawling over to him, I can guarantee there will be somebody backstage who will eventually take him up on his offer.
Roberto Verona : On the contrary Hannah, Leonard is clearly on the backfoot. And I’m not alone….
Hannah Reed : Wait, what?
And that brings me right on to you, Count Crotchula.
You’re just a bag full of fun aren’t your Robert? I mean, you totally got me with that one line about how you didn’t know who I was….or was it seven? Or maybe it was ten? Eh I lost track after the first couple of times, you must accept my apologies Rob I tend to be a little old fashioned and assume a joke can only get less funny the more times you say it. Maybe you can break the mould, change the boundaries, rewrite the rulebook….
On second thoughts, I was right the first time.
But hey, it isn’t all bad I have to admit I chuckled a little bit at the rest of what you had to say…
Silence.
Ok fine, none of it was funny. You have the personality of a sexually insecure frat boy and the charm of Josef Goebbels. I’d rather watch a Joey marathon than endure another tiresome episode of the “comedy stylings of Rob Diamond and Zelda Knite guest starring Steve Awesome and Andrew Jacobsen”.
Ok that was harsh, Joey was at least slightly watchable.
However, with the aid of alcohol I was able to sit through your cavalcade of hilarity a few more times to really get to the crux of what you were trying to say. Now, please correct me if I have got you all wrong Rob but amongst all of the…well for the sake of time let’s call them “jokes”, I get the distinct impression that you aren’t very fond of me.
Robert Diamond doesn’t like me.
Yawn.
I don’t know if there is something in the Infamous locker room’s water supply or if you’re all really just that ****ing stupid but there hasn’t been a single moment where I have stopped what I was doing, sat myself down and actually given a damn what Rob Diamond thinks of me. No, seriously. Not one moment. I care more about what Todd Williams thinks of me than you, and I’m praying to whatever deity cares to listen that he does a cartwheel off of something at least 60 feet tall as soon as humanly possible.
I know you’ve got an ego that perhaps even surpasses my own but not everybody gives a crap about what you think of them. Not that you care right? Because you’re the rebellious loud mouth whose cheeky antics and wisecracking humour excites and entertains us all every weekend.
Hold on a second. Haven’t I seen this gimmick before?
Nah, my mind must be playing tricks on me, only people who aren’t Rob Diamond or sleeping with Rob Diamond or friends with Rob Diamond or know a guy who once knew a girl who dated Rob Diamond are guilty of re-hashing wrestling clichés. Jesus….
There are about a million “Rob Diamonds” on the circuit, and that isn’t a compliment. You’re cocky rogue gimmick has been done so many times Rob that maybe it has become original again.
Stones. Glasshouses. You get the picture Diamond. Or maybe you don’t….
Raises a megaphone to lips.
Your persona has been done more times than Crystal Hilton.
Throws to one side.
Listen rent-a-gimmick, it is about time you and the rest of the bottom feeders got this into your thick skulls. I don’t care if the whole “revolution” thing has been done before; clearly they were all about as successful as a condom dispenser in the Vatican. As much as your gimmick of an unfunny poster boy for guy liner is a real reflection of your personality, the anti-authority revolutionary is actually one of my own. I know, I know, shock horror some of us are actually being ourselves out there every week instead of a plastic puppet like Steve Awesome, but is true.
“It’s still real to some of us damn it!”.
What you see is what you get with me Rob, much like yourself, only when you look at me you don’t see a washed up drag queen with a penchant for offering my opponents the opportunity to perform fellatio on me. Seriously, Bates has opened the door Rob so just mosey on out of that closet with him and take Steve with you whilst you’re at it. Anybody who chases that much tail is compensating for something.
I have no reason to try and be something I’m not and unlike about 90% of this roster I don’t have a deep, burning desire to be loved. Let’s face it when Jimmy Zane hears the tormenting sound of paint drying every time he walks down that ramp it makes him die a little more inside, I on the other hand couldn’t care less. If the fans boo me, they boo me and if they cheer me, they cheer me but *** damn at least they ****ing react to me. I know you have selective deafness Diamond, and I pray every day you develop selective mutism instead, but I’m a damn sight more important than you will ever give me credit for.
Having said that though Rob, you’re right about one thing, and Lord it pains me to say it, but people should fear me. They should look at the cards every week and thank God that the booking committee have taken pity on them and not scheduled them in a match with me. Maybe I should have broken a few more bones. Maybe I should have cracked a few more skulls with a chair or two. Maybe I should have taken out more smug jackasses like you.
Maybe.
But if you really think I am unimportant Rob, perhaps you should tell the old guy you just Charlie Chaplined back there because it seems to me that if I was as insignificant as you claimed, the CEO of NCW wouldn’t be begging you to take me out. He’d be asking who I was as many times as you did.
Don’t worry though Robert, after this weekend, you’ll never forget who I am again.
I’m not kidding.
Roberto Verona : Hello.
…………..
Roberto Verona : So you’ve thought about my offer then?
…………..
Roberto Verona : You know exactly what my goals are. The fact is that too many people have been screwed around by Leonard Fox. It is time people started to stand up for themselves.
…………..
Roberto Verona : I’m glad you agree. So you’re in?
…………..
Roberto Verona : Good. I look forward to working with you.
…………..
Roberto Verona : We will speak again soon. Very soon.
It’s been a while Andrew, although let’s face it we both know it has been a long time coming. In fact I am surprised that you and I haven’t been booked to face one another before, but then I suppose you had that whole “take out Ben & Jerry” shtick going on for the past few months. Oh, congrats on that by the way. Looks like you finally pinned down the secret to winning a championship.
Have Jimmy Zane as an opponent.
God bless the perennial jobber, the unsung hero in the wrestling hierarchy, aiding returning “stars” since the dawn of time.
So I guess this is the part where I mention the Young Guns and how I never really respected you as leader and how you’re a failure, yadda yadda yadda….
That ship sailed a long time ago and I’m pretty sure it struck an iceberg or something.
Listen Andrew, your inability as a leader is pretty irrelevant, you’ve come back and done pretty well for yourself and hey, maybe being a number two suits you. Venom made a mistake making you leader in his absence and your ego clouded your judgement, it happens. Not all of us are suited to taking the bull by the horns and making something of ourselves, and that isn’t meant as an insult.
Okay, maybe a little.
Maybe I should be a little pissed that you just took your ball and went home Andrew, but hell we both know the Young Guns was a dying faction held together by the successes of everybody but Jimmy Zane. Sooner or later it was going to fall apart and truth be told, you did me a favour. Since it all collapsed around us I have gone on to become the NCW National Champion, get on Leonard Fox’s nerves and even got the…erm, “honour” of making Joe Everyman a centurion.
Really, you leaving was the best thing to happen to me since cracking Todd Williams in the face with a steel chair and God knows that was pretty sweet.
I know that the “dirtsheets” and the smarks are probably circulating some sort of rumour about “backstage” rumblings between us to build one half of my opponents into something they’re not but frankly Andrew, despite our past you really are nothing but a side-show this weekend as far as I am concerned. I know, I know with our past as former Young Guns perhaps there should be more to this but frankly all you are to me is some guy I used to occasionally tag with.
Now I know you, or Rob, or Steve or whoever has your back these days will probably tell me that disrespecting you is at my own peril and if I underestimate you then you will show me exactly what you’re really made of, which I suspect is inadequacy draped in a silver medal, but you do not particularly worry me Andrew. I saw exactly what you could do when you were “leading” me and frankly it wasn’t all that. Oh sure, you’ve got some talent but let’s face it Andrew when it comes to you and Rob, you’re definitely the wingman and not the “star player”.
I am sure you could list of a multitude of reasons why you think you can shut me up, hell everybody seems to yet here we are, another week, still not silenced. Frankly it is actually getting a little dull listening to the psycho-babble that people dish out week after week about me, hell Nathan Webb still hasn’t untwisted his panties after I beat him about 10 weeks ago and every time Jimmy Zane hears me mention his name he seems to **** out a kidney. So please, feel free to surprise me but as I know you may need a little help here’s a little “Opposing Roberto Verona 101” to get you started.
1) Mention his lengthy prose, this will make you seem witty and emphasise his apparent lack of personality. Ignore all facts to the contrary that suggest he actually doesn’t speak any more than any other wrestler on the roster, to acknowledge this is to kill the biggest myth in NCW.
2) Definitely insinuate he has no personality, this will “get under his skin” and get a cheap laugh from the audience. Refuse to accept that he has more charisma in his little finger than you do in your entire body.
3) Absolutely, positively do not fail to claim that he has some sort of mental disorder. To accept that his revolutionary mantra is anything but rabble babble is to accept that he might actually be right, and you must let him know in no uncertain terms that he is not.
4) Accuse him of lying. This will allow you to cover all bases just to be safe, if you can insinuate that he doesn’t utter a word of truth you can nullify anything he says. Sort of. Well, if the audience is gullible enough to believe you. Which they are.
5) Always, without fail, mention that despite the fact he has been pinned only 6 times in his career that he is in actual fact not actually that talented. Alternatively, accept that he is indeed talented but make it quite clear that you will be able to do what the multitude of opponents before you have failed to do, regardless of facts, form and common sense.
6) Never, ever, ever, ever, accept that anything he says about you is actually the truth. This will lead to crushing emotional problems and a short, sharp slap into reality. Always maintain that you’re in fact talented and not a waste of air.
7) If all else fails call him gay, insult his Italian heritage, make fun of his beard and/or call him a jackass. Remember never, ever engage this man in an actual conversation, you will lose, it is best to just shout loudly so nobody can hear him verbally school you.
[/center]2) Definitely insinuate he has no personality, this will “get under his skin” and get a cheap laugh from the audience. Refuse to accept that he has more charisma in his little finger than you do in your entire body.
3) Absolutely, positively do not fail to claim that he has some sort of mental disorder. To accept that his revolutionary mantra is anything but rabble babble is to accept that he might actually be right, and you must let him know in no uncertain terms that he is not.
4) Accuse him of lying. This will allow you to cover all bases just to be safe, if you can insinuate that he doesn’t utter a word of truth you can nullify anything he says. Sort of. Well, if the audience is gullible enough to believe you. Which they are.
5) Always, without fail, mention that despite the fact he has been pinned only 6 times in his career that he is in actual fact not actually that talented. Alternatively, accept that he is indeed talented but make it quite clear that you will be able to do what the multitude of opponents before you have failed to do, regardless of facts, form and common sense.
6) Never, ever, ever, ever, accept that anything he says about you is actually the truth. This will lead to crushing emotional problems and a short, sharp slap into reality. Always maintain that you’re in fact talented and not a waste of air.
7) If all else fails call him gay, insult his Italian heritage, make fun of his beard and/or call him a jackass. Remember never, ever engage this man in an actual conversation, you will lose, it is best to just shout loudly so nobody can hear him verbally school you.
Let’s call it a favour to an old “friend”. I’ll see you Saturday Andrew, let’s see if you can finally surprise me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hannah Reed : Wait, so Leonard allowed him to compete despite being advised against it?
Roberto Verona : Yeah, pretty much. Apparently a PhD in the Biomechanics of the Musculoskeletal System is trumped by the few hundred grand Venom t-shirts make. Go figure.
Hannah Reed : Why did Venom go along with it? Surely he knew the risk?
Roberto Verona : Pig headedness, you know Venom, he does whatever the hell he pleases and as long as Fox was prepared to allow him to compete he wasn’t going to do the sensible thing and recuperate.
Hannah Reed : You know, I find it really hard to understand the psychology of you guys sometimes.
Roberto Verona : The adrenaline rush of several thousand people chanting your name and the glory of victory clouds your judgement Hannah, sitting around on your ass recuperating from injury just invites melancholy. I don’t blame Venom, he did what countless other guys have done in the past.
Hannah Reed : True.
Roberto Verona : But that isn’t the point, the point is that Leonard thinks it is acceptable to send out half-fit superstars for the sake of money. Then to top it all off, when the guy he’s facing goes ahead and injures him he does absolutely nothing about it. Just like he did nothing about Spike Kane’s drug habits, Jacobsen’s petulant little assault on Doc and countless other misdemeanours that go on backstage.
Hannah Reed : Isn’t that the way the business works?
Verona smiles.
Roberto Verona : Yes. And that is why “The Ace” is about to taste a little bit of “vigilante justice”. If Leonard can’t be bothered to at least fine the man who may have ended another’s career despite knowing full well about his injury problems then I will punish him for him. And it is going to cost him a hell of a lot more than a couple of grand.
Hannah Reed : I don’t like the sound of this, I can’t help but think you’re biting off more than you can chew Roberto, Fox is out to get you now. You saw what he did with Rob earlier and if he is happy crawling over to him, I can guarantee there will be somebody backstage who will eventually take him up on his offer.
Roberto Verona : On the contrary Hannah, Leonard is clearly on the backfoot. And I’m not alone….
Hannah Reed : Wait, what?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
And that brings me right on to you, Count Crotchula.
You’re just a bag full of fun aren’t your Robert? I mean, you totally got me with that one line about how you didn’t know who I was….or was it seven? Or maybe it was ten? Eh I lost track after the first couple of times, you must accept my apologies Rob I tend to be a little old fashioned and assume a joke can only get less funny the more times you say it. Maybe you can break the mould, change the boundaries, rewrite the rulebook….
On second thoughts, I was right the first time.
But hey, it isn’t all bad I have to admit I chuckled a little bit at the rest of what you had to say…
Silence.
Ok fine, none of it was funny. You have the personality of a sexually insecure frat boy and the charm of Josef Goebbels. I’d rather watch a Joey marathon than endure another tiresome episode of the “comedy stylings of Rob Diamond and Zelda Knite guest starring Steve Awesome and Andrew Jacobsen”.
Ok that was harsh, Joey was at least slightly watchable.
However, with the aid of alcohol I was able to sit through your cavalcade of hilarity a few more times to really get to the crux of what you were trying to say. Now, please correct me if I have got you all wrong Rob but amongst all of the…well for the sake of time let’s call them “jokes”, I get the distinct impression that you aren’t very fond of me.
Robert Diamond doesn’t like me.
Yawn.
I don’t know if there is something in the Infamous locker room’s water supply or if you’re all really just that ****ing stupid but there hasn’t been a single moment where I have stopped what I was doing, sat myself down and actually given a damn what Rob Diamond thinks of me. No, seriously. Not one moment. I care more about what Todd Williams thinks of me than you, and I’m praying to whatever deity cares to listen that he does a cartwheel off of something at least 60 feet tall as soon as humanly possible.
I know you’ve got an ego that perhaps even surpasses my own but not everybody gives a crap about what you think of them. Not that you care right? Because you’re the rebellious loud mouth whose cheeky antics and wisecracking humour excites and entertains us all every weekend.
Hold on a second. Haven’t I seen this gimmick before?
Nah, my mind must be playing tricks on me, only people who aren’t Rob Diamond or sleeping with Rob Diamond or friends with Rob Diamond or know a guy who once knew a girl who dated Rob Diamond are guilty of re-hashing wrestling clichés. Jesus….
There are about a million “Rob Diamonds” on the circuit, and that isn’t a compliment. You’re cocky rogue gimmick has been done so many times Rob that maybe it has become original again.
Stones. Glasshouses. You get the picture Diamond. Or maybe you don’t….
Raises a megaphone to lips.
Your persona has been done more times than Crystal Hilton.
Throws to one side.
Listen rent-a-gimmick, it is about time you and the rest of the bottom feeders got this into your thick skulls. I don’t care if the whole “revolution” thing has been done before; clearly they were all about as successful as a condom dispenser in the Vatican. As much as your gimmick of an unfunny poster boy for guy liner is a real reflection of your personality, the anti-authority revolutionary is actually one of my own. I know, I know, shock horror some of us are actually being ourselves out there every week instead of a plastic puppet like Steve Awesome, but is true.
“It’s still real to some of us damn it!”.
What you see is what you get with me Rob, much like yourself, only when you look at me you don’t see a washed up drag queen with a penchant for offering my opponents the opportunity to perform fellatio on me. Seriously, Bates has opened the door Rob so just mosey on out of that closet with him and take Steve with you whilst you’re at it. Anybody who chases that much tail is compensating for something.
I have no reason to try and be something I’m not and unlike about 90% of this roster I don’t have a deep, burning desire to be loved. Let’s face it when Jimmy Zane hears the tormenting sound of paint drying every time he walks down that ramp it makes him die a little more inside, I on the other hand couldn’t care less. If the fans boo me, they boo me and if they cheer me, they cheer me but *** damn at least they ****ing react to me. I know you have selective deafness Diamond, and I pray every day you develop selective mutism instead, but I’m a damn sight more important than you will ever give me credit for.
Having said that though Rob, you’re right about one thing, and Lord it pains me to say it, but people should fear me. They should look at the cards every week and thank God that the booking committee have taken pity on them and not scheduled them in a match with me. Maybe I should have broken a few more bones. Maybe I should have cracked a few more skulls with a chair or two. Maybe I should have taken out more smug jackasses like you.
Maybe.
But if you really think I am unimportant Rob, perhaps you should tell the old guy you just Charlie Chaplined back there because it seems to me that if I was as insignificant as you claimed, the CEO of NCW wouldn’t be begging you to take me out. He’d be asking who I was as many times as you did.
Don’t worry though Robert, after this weekend, you’ll never forget who I am again.
I’m not kidding.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Roberto Verona : Hello.
…………..
Roberto Verona : So you’ve thought about my offer then?
…………..
Roberto Verona : You know exactly what my goals are. The fact is that too many people have been screwed around by Leonard Fox. It is time people started to stand up for themselves.
…………..
Roberto Verona : I’m glad you agree. So you’re in?
…………..
Roberto Verona : Good. I look forward to working with you.
…………..
Roberto Verona : We will speak again soon. Very soon.