Post by Cyrus Daniels on Apr 7, 2009 15:44:48 GMT -6
Courtesy: newchampionshipwrestling.com
So, it falls to me to once again bring the light of wisdom into each and every one of your failed and useless lives. Its no secret, I was kept from doing this column for almost a year by the order of one Leonard Fox, until now.
You see nCw fans, our owner told me that instead of just criticising the morons in this company from the comfort of my office where I would spend about an hour typing up the best in hard hitting sports entertainment journalism, that I should take a more active role in the broadcasts. Leonard told me that I should show the fans that I care about inspiring competitition within the roster, so I took a step back and stopped being the internet journalist after it was quite apparent that despite my numerous memos to the Superstars, they just weren't being inspired to better themselves by simply reading the harsh truths contained within my columns.
I took the active on screen presence that Leonard wanted me to take, and I chose to inspire competition from one man in particular, a man who used to be great. He was a former Xtreme Champion, and to this day he still holds the record as the longest reigning Xtreme Champion in this company's history. A ride that started at the expense of the current World Heavyweight Champion no less, when he beat him at Metamorphosis to become Number One Contender. The man cemented his greatness by conquering VD and that's something that should by all logic be in direct conflict with his - ahem - sexiness.
Then what happened after all the success of that was over? A few months on the backburner before he went on to have a decent run as National Champion, but after that, this man of so much promise and potential started looking into the abyss of obscurity, after being defeated by Falcon, Sexy Jason lost so much more than just the title, he lost momentum and he lost direction.
Until I came on the scene and told Leonard that a prime talent was being wasted, and I told him that I could save his career, all I needed was the power within my new television role to make the matches that would prove to be his saving grace. Jason didn't appreciate the strings I was trying to pull for him backstage and against his better judgement, he started to insist that somebody backstage was trying to play games with his career and got a kick out of each and every loss he suffered.
Leonard wanted me to do my job and keep the flame of competition within the company alive, and Jason was practically begging for some of nCw management's attention. He got mine. I ignited the competitive embers of a fire that burned strong for seven weeks with the sparks of controversy, by threatening to remove his favourite toy - Amber. I felt like a father disciplining his son and telling him no PlayStation until his grades at school improved, I did it for his own good, but like so many children, he just didn't get it, he didn't thank me for it or understand why I did what I did.
No, somehow in his mind, I became the bully and the tyrant in all of this, suddenly I became the falcrum of his entire career and the focal point of all his hate. And for a while it was fine, I could handle it, he was the son I could discipline any way I wanted, and even his mother, Kelly, supported me in my quest to better him for a while. But of course, she was too soft, like all mothers are. She had no stomach for real discipline. But that was fine too, Jason's older and much more sensible brothers, Ron and Curtis, agreed to help me discipline the scamp provided I gave them some candy and increased their allowance. And that was fine too, not even Jason's new friend could stand in the way of disciplining my son at Sovereign.
But then Grandpa returned, and little Jason ran to him and told him of all the mean things Daddy had been doing to him in his absence, all whilst neglecting to mention that I only did what I did because I was the target of an anti-Damien campaign that raged on for months here in nCw. Suddenly I was being blamed for everything that was wrong in his career and his life, I was even being blamed for every loss he suffered in matches where I wasn't even involved or never even made.
I was only doing my job, Jason. You want to blame someone, blame yourself for allowing yourself to fall hard and fall fast from the top ranks of nCw. You still want to blame someone, blame Leonard for telling me to do my job properly, but please don't blame me for just doing my job and keeping the spirit of competition alive here in nCw. You don't like it? Go back to the old school Jason I once knew, go back to being the son I could be proud of, and I won't bother you anymore.
It was my duty to intervene and call off your little lovefest with your girlfriend because it was interfering with your studies son, I only wanted the best for you, and you cannot say I wasn't fair about it. I gave you the chance to win her back from your brothers but you failed. You failed me son. You failed all of us.
I did not do it to destroy your happiness Jason, even though admittedly I did feel a little jealous that women came so easily to you and I couldn't even keep your mother happy anymore. She betrayed me, she left me for Adam Knite. The bitch.
Sorry about that little digression, you see then it hit me, as hard and cold as reality. You're not my son and I'm not your father. Kelly is not your mother, Leonard is not your grandfather and Ron and Curtis aren't your brothers. New Championship Wrestling is not the family I once thought it was, I am condemned and I'm an outcast, a simple man who is being punished for doing his job, perhaps too well. But then, what else can one expect from a company so backwards in its ideals that Trauma comes before Collision.
Is it any small wonder than that the global economy is in such a state? It is hardly surprising when you consider the fact that the hardest and most dedicated employees are being punished the hardest by this crisis while the fat cats keep their positions.
I won't lie to you Jason, I have no experience in cutting a promo in the traditional sense, let alone wrestling experience. True I once owned a company called the Global Wrestling Corporation, but I've never laced up my boots to actively compete. I'm not going to be one of those Field Marshals in war who can say I know what the men I direct from my tent on a daily basis, far away from any battlefield, go through because I don't. I'm not so deluded as to claim to know what to expect, I have no real concept of the work ethic that goes into preparing for a match. No, I'll just throw a few punches and hope that'll be enough to get the one two three.
See Jason, I'll go into this match with what I know, and that is how to do my job, both as a member of nCw management and as an online sports entertainment journalist. Sure, it may not end up translating that well in terms of actual wrestling ability, that is where you have the edge undoubtedly. The experience of doing something week in and week out is on your side. For me however, this is all new, and whatever happens, win or lose I never want to step in the ring with you or anyone else ever again.
This is your one and only shot at me, Jason enjoy it whilst the moonshine is as blue as the banner under which we will fight this Saturday, the banner of Trauma.
I tried to get out of this, I am man enough to admit that, but Leonard wouldn't hear me out. He told me that when he said I should take a more active interest in my job it did not mean I could go around orchaestrating attacks on Superstars and bashing their heads in with steel chairs. He said that was not the way to inspire competition.
Why was it then that this policy was not a two way street? Where was this ruling when I was the one being bashed in the head and blindsided in the darkness by Mark Evil and a steel chair? It's funny isn't it Jason? You've had Evil on your side and now you have JackHammer, yet none of them have helped you get Amber back. They've both hindered your career, shrugged off their losses and moved on, but you, you never could do that.
You've whined and you've cried and finally somebody's given you your way. But that's not enough for you is it? You want more. They always want more. Just like Leonard wanted more from me, just like Kelly did and when they got it, they found out that they didn't like it. You want this to be a Steel Cage or a Cell Match so that you can beat me to within an inch of my life, and you claim that you want it to be so that there will be no interference.
It wouldn't surprise me if Leonard actually bought that crap and gave you what you wanted on Saturday, just to see me humiliated even further, why stop kicking a man when he is already down? When he is already out of his depth, right? You know damn well that I'm not The Ace and that I cannot hand you your ass on a silver platter inside a Cage or a Cell like he did two weeks ago.
No you just want to make up for that embarrassing loss at my expense, and you want to ensure that a frankly easy victory over me is made just that little bit easier and that the sugar of revenge tastes just that little bit sweeter by pouring salt into my wounds. So this is what I get for trying to make you a star Jason, I pushed you when nobody else would and instead of stepping up like a man, shaking hands and thanking me for my efforts, you want to punish me. Why should I stick my neck out for anybody if they're just going to break it? Why should I extend a hand when they're just going to bite it?
Ungrateful.
That's what you are, Jason. I only bended the rules to help you improve because that is what was needed. This is not needed. None of this is needed. You don't need to fight me inside a steel structure, you don't need to watch me beg or squirm.
Selfish.
That's why you're doing this, Jason. But I have my pride, I won't beg for mercy when I already know that you will have none for me. I know this as well as I know that no amount of chocolate is going to save my hide from the destruction you promise.
In the end, my only solace will be that I know that my destruction came as a result of yet another job well done. I made you the active competitor with the destroy or be destroyed attitude you now have.
I have done the job I set out to do, I have ignited the spirit of competition in your heart. There is no need to thank me. I told you I'd only do what's best for you, and I have.
I'm proud of you, my son.
nCw High Voltage
April 7th, 2009
Special Trauma Edition
April 7th, 2009
Special Trauma Edition
A Job (Too) Well Done
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed within this column are strictly those of the President of the nCw Competition Committee, Damien Sparks and are not necessarily shared by New Championship Wrestling or Fate Entertainment
So, it falls to me to once again bring the light of wisdom into each and every one of your failed and useless lives. Its no secret, I was kept from doing this column for almost a year by the order of one Leonard Fox, until now.
You see nCw fans, our owner told me that instead of just criticising the morons in this company from the comfort of my office where I would spend about an hour typing up the best in hard hitting sports entertainment journalism, that I should take a more active role in the broadcasts. Leonard told me that I should show the fans that I care about inspiring competitition within the roster, so I took a step back and stopped being the internet journalist after it was quite apparent that despite my numerous memos to the Superstars, they just weren't being inspired to better themselves by simply reading the harsh truths contained within my columns.
I took the active on screen presence that Leonard wanted me to take, and I chose to inspire competition from one man in particular, a man who used to be great. He was a former Xtreme Champion, and to this day he still holds the record as the longest reigning Xtreme Champion in this company's history. A ride that started at the expense of the current World Heavyweight Champion no less, when he beat him at Metamorphosis to become Number One Contender. The man cemented his greatness by conquering VD and that's something that should by all logic be in direct conflict with his - ahem - sexiness.
Then what happened after all the success of that was over? A few months on the backburner before he went on to have a decent run as National Champion, but after that, this man of so much promise and potential started looking into the abyss of obscurity, after being defeated by Falcon, Sexy Jason lost so much more than just the title, he lost momentum and he lost direction.
Until I came on the scene and told Leonard that a prime talent was being wasted, and I told him that I could save his career, all I needed was the power within my new television role to make the matches that would prove to be his saving grace. Jason didn't appreciate the strings I was trying to pull for him backstage and against his better judgement, he started to insist that somebody backstage was trying to play games with his career and got a kick out of each and every loss he suffered.
Leonard wanted me to do my job and keep the flame of competition within the company alive, and Jason was practically begging for some of nCw management's attention. He got mine. I ignited the competitive embers of a fire that burned strong for seven weeks with the sparks of controversy, by threatening to remove his favourite toy - Amber. I felt like a father disciplining his son and telling him no PlayStation until his grades at school improved, I did it for his own good, but like so many children, he just didn't get it, he didn't thank me for it or understand why I did what I did.
No, somehow in his mind, I became the bully and the tyrant in all of this, suddenly I became the falcrum of his entire career and the focal point of all his hate. And for a while it was fine, I could handle it, he was the son I could discipline any way I wanted, and even his mother, Kelly, supported me in my quest to better him for a while. But of course, she was too soft, like all mothers are. She had no stomach for real discipline. But that was fine too, Jason's older and much more sensible brothers, Ron and Curtis, agreed to help me discipline the scamp provided I gave them some candy and increased their allowance. And that was fine too, not even Jason's new friend could stand in the way of disciplining my son at Sovereign.
But then Grandpa returned, and little Jason ran to him and told him of all the mean things Daddy had been doing to him in his absence, all whilst neglecting to mention that I only did what I did because I was the target of an anti-Damien campaign that raged on for months here in nCw. Suddenly I was being blamed for everything that was wrong in his career and his life, I was even being blamed for every loss he suffered in matches where I wasn't even involved or never even made.
I was only doing my job, Jason. You want to blame someone, blame yourself for allowing yourself to fall hard and fall fast from the top ranks of nCw. You still want to blame someone, blame Leonard for telling me to do my job properly, but please don't blame me for just doing my job and keeping the spirit of competition alive here in nCw. You don't like it? Go back to the old school Jason I once knew, go back to being the son I could be proud of, and I won't bother you anymore.
It was my duty to intervene and call off your little lovefest with your girlfriend because it was interfering with your studies son, I only wanted the best for you, and you cannot say I wasn't fair about it. I gave you the chance to win her back from your brothers but you failed. You failed me son. You failed all of us.
I did not do it to destroy your happiness Jason, even though admittedly I did feel a little jealous that women came so easily to you and I couldn't even keep your mother happy anymore. She betrayed me, she left me for Adam Knite. The bitch.
Sorry about that little digression, you see then it hit me, as hard and cold as reality. You're not my son and I'm not your father. Kelly is not your mother, Leonard is not your grandfather and Ron and Curtis aren't your brothers. New Championship Wrestling is not the family I once thought it was, I am condemned and I'm an outcast, a simple man who is being punished for doing his job, perhaps too well. But then, what else can one expect from a company so backwards in its ideals that Trauma comes before Collision.
Is it any small wonder than that the global economy is in such a state? It is hardly surprising when you consider the fact that the hardest and most dedicated employees are being punished the hardest by this crisis while the fat cats keep their positions.
I won't lie to you Jason, I have no experience in cutting a promo in the traditional sense, let alone wrestling experience. True I once owned a company called the Global Wrestling Corporation, but I've never laced up my boots to actively compete. I'm not going to be one of those Field Marshals in war who can say I know what the men I direct from my tent on a daily basis, far away from any battlefield, go through because I don't. I'm not so deluded as to claim to know what to expect, I have no real concept of the work ethic that goes into preparing for a match. No, I'll just throw a few punches and hope that'll be enough to get the one two three.
See Jason, I'll go into this match with what I know, and that is how to do my job, both as a member of nCw management and as an online sports entertainment journalist. Sure, it may not end up translating that well in terms of actual wrestling ability, that is where you have the edge undoubtedly. The experience of doing something week in and week out is on your side. For me however, this is all new, and whatever happens, win or lose I never want to step in the ring with you or anyone else ever again.
This is your one and only shot at me, Jason enjoy it whilst the moonshine is as blue as the banner under which we will fight this Saturday, the banner of Trauma.
I tried to get out of this, I am man enough to admit that, but Leonard wouldn't hear me out. He told me that when he said I should take a more active interest in my job it did not mean I could go around orchaestrating attacks on Superstars and bashing their heads in with steel chairs. He said that was not the way to inspire competition.
Why was it then that this policy was not a two way street? Where was this ruling when I was the one being bashed in the head and blindsided in the darkness by Mark Evil and a steel chair? It's funny isn't it Jason? You've had Evil on your side and now you have JackHammer, yet none of them have helped you get Amber back. They've both hindered your career, shrugged off their losses and moved on, but you, you never could do that.
You've whined and you've cried and finally somebody's given you your way. But that's not enough for you is it? You want more. They always want more. Just like Leonard wanted more from me, just like Kelly did and when they got it, they found out that they didn't like it. You want this to be a Steel Cage or a Cell Match so that you can beat me to within an inch of my life, and you claim that you want it to be so that there will be no interference.
It wouldn't surprise me if Leonard actually bought that crap and gave you what you wanted on Saturday, just to see me humiliated even further, why stop kicking a man when he is already down? When he is already out of his depth, right? You know damn well that I'm not The Ace and that I cannot hand you your ass on a silver platter inside a Cage or a Cell like he did two weeks ago.
No you just want to make up for that embarrassing loss at my expense, and you want to ensure that a frankly easy victory over me is made just that little bit easier and that the sugar of revenge tastes just that little bit sweeter by pouring salt into my wounds. So this is what I get for trying to make you a star Jason, I pushed you when nobody else would and instead of stepping up like a man, shaking hands and thanking me for my efforts, you want to punish me. Why should I stick my neck out for anybody if they're just going to break it? Why should I extend a hand when they're just going to bite it?
Ungrateful.
That's what you are, Jason. I only bended the rules to help you improve because that is what was needed. This is not needed. None of this is needed. You don't need to fight me inside a steel structure, you don't need to watch me beg or squirm.
Selfish.
That's why you're doing this, Jason. But I have my pride, I won't beg for mercy when I already know that you will have none for me. I know this as well as I know that no amount of chocolate is going to save my hide from the destruction you promise.
In the end, my only solace will be that I know that my destruction came as a result of yet another job well done. I made you the active competitor with the destroy or be destroyed attitude you now have.
I have done the job I set out to do, I have ignited the spirit of competition in your heart. There is no need to thank me. I told you I'd only do what's best for you, and I have.
I'm proud of you, my son.
