Post by Alex Jones on Jul 5, 2010 16:20:57 GMT -6
Part I-How the past is influencing me....
“So here we are. A week away from stepping into the ring. Angel wants to destroy me, to kill me, to end me. And all because I did what he couldn’t do. I made his family happy.”
My eyes close, a feeling of pride washes over me as the thoughts rush through my head. Shelly’s laugh, Hayleigh’s smile. They both mean the world to me. I’m happy, they’re happy. Can’t he just leave me alone?....
“Still so many of you believe me to be the bad guy. You believe I’m the big bad Alex Jones stealing away Angel’s family because deep down inside I want to be him. You believe Angel’s propaganda about me. But the truth is so much simpler. I love Shelly, she loves me. She brought Hayleigh with her because Angel is an abusive husband and a terrible father. And now because he see’s Hayleigh happy he’s spun a sob story where he’s the victim, and I’m the big bad wolf. And like a pack of sheep you all believed him....”
“You’ve all watched as Angel has cheated on Shelly, constantly hurt her, broken her heart and gone back with his fake apologies. Angel sent her to me, his own wife, to sleep with me and to gain my trust. He forced her to do it, he forced his daughter to act like she loved me, and then when I left NCW due to injuries and emotional pain Angel tormented Shelly eventually leaving her for Tara Fenix. Shelly and I talked and I realised I loved her and she realised that after everything she really did love me. So we got together, she moved in and now Angel wants Hayleigh back but my question is how long did it take for Angel to even realise his child was gone?. How long did it take him to realise that his wife was now living with his sworn enemy?. Angel was too busy with destroying Gib’s family to even realise where his own was. And yet I’M THE BAD GUY?.”
“Angel has shown his disrespect for years, he’s turned on friends, family even the ENTIRE COMPANY. Only to change back and flip flop when it suited his purpose. I’ve stood tall and fought for honor and respect every moment I’ve been here. Angel is just out for himself. Yet now I walk into a building and get booed and he gets cheered?. You’ve all watched me destroy men week after week to prove that I’m ready to be in the elite of NCW and I’m still not taken seriously yet Angel is a messiah and is adored after all he’s done?. After turning his back on NCW to join Adam and then turn back the moment I turned the battle in NCW’s direction?. After the callous, cold and inhumane things he’s done over his tenure in NCW?. And I’M THE BAD GUY?....”
The words echo inside my head. I remember people yelling at me, throwing things at me. Hating me. The feeling of anger wells up inside, I sigh deeply as my body tenses
“I wanted a match with him. Not to try and take him out but to try and prove I was as good as Angel. See the common misconception is that I want to be Angel. That’s not true at all. I just wanted his respect. I wanted him to look across from me and have a doubt in his mind that he could beat me because he’s acknowledged that I am that good. But now the match he and I are going to have will be about my daughter. Angel wants to be her father, he wants to have custody of her, I can’t and won’t let it happen. That little girl has already lost so much I refuse to let him take me out of her life. You can all have your own opinions, you can believe I’m wrong and you can hate me. In the end I’m just doing what’s best for my little girl....that’s what a good father does isn’t it?.....”
“I wouldn’t know what a good father is or does.....my own experiences haven’t led me to know it....maybe one day I’ll get to the bottom of it. All I want is Shelly and Hayleigh to be happy. And if that happiness is being threatened by Angel then he just has to go.....”
I smile and close my eyes, my mind starts to drift, I start to think about my life when I was a child....my own personal nightmare....
My eyes are open. I get out of my small bed. The bad a blue wooden box with a small child size mattress. I look in the mirror and move my hair out of my eyes. I hear a plate crash and screaming from the kitchen. My heart sinks, they’re fighting again. I peer around the corner and hear it getting louder, then a slap, flesh on flesh and tears. I look into my younger brother and sisters room. I run in and find Dylan asleep in his crib and Charlaine awake in her bed with tears welling up.
“Alex...daddy’s being bad again.....”
“Shhhh Charlie......come on.....we’ll go play...”
I take my sisters hand as I hear the front door slam, I hurry my sister out the back door into the back yard, as we pass the kitchen I see mom.....cleaning up the blood from the kitchen counter, part of me wants to ask what’s wrong, then I remember Charlie, we go outside and let the back door shut tight.....
I sigh again, my hand trembling as I pick up the water bottle. I take a deep drink and try to calm myself down. My hand reaches up as I cup an old worm Celtic cross that hangs around my neck.
“But this isn’t just about Hayleigh, it’s about Angel. I know he has a good side, I know he could be a good father and I hope he gets another chance someday with any children he and Tara have. I have to beat him and to make him see Hayleigh is gone forever and it’s his own entire fault. And that is the truth, all this could have been avoided, all this could have been laid to rest if Angel had been a good husband and father. But he wasn’t and isn’t capable. He believes the world is all about him, he believes the entire world owes him that he’s immortal and unbeatable. It’s up to me to wake him up and bring him to a realisation. It’s always been me. I’m the man who has always been destined to stop him...”
“So many others have tried. Xavier Williams, Gib, His own brother Nero, hell his best friend Falcon. But they all failed. I’ve always been the dangerous match up for Angel. He knows it too. He knows I’m his equal, he knows if there is one guy who can put an end to him, to his career and his life as he knows it, it’s me. And he has done everything in his power to stop it. He has done everything to try and make sure that I don’t succeed and that I don’t become the man I was meant to be. He tried to stop me from maturing and becoming a true star......and left unchecked he’d only get worse.....”
My own words echo inside my head. I stare into the drips of water on the outside of my water bottle....
I smile at my younger sister watching her hit the bag. I take a drink of water as I wait for our mother to come pick us up. I stop as something catches my eye.
“Charlie.....what’s that?....”
She turns to me and covers her arm with her sleeve, I roll it back up to find a large bruise.
“What happened?.....who did this?...was it dad?.....did dad hurt you?....”
My mind races, as bad as dad has been he’s never hurt one of us kids before. What the hell?...
“Yes...please...Alex don’t say anything it was my own fault, I failed chemistry....”
My blood boils, the door fling open as mom comes in, a fresh bruise on her eye, I clench my fists as I hear the horn blowing from outside....mom obviously did something wrong again....
“Come on kid’s...we have to go....”
I hear the desperation in my voice. I pick up my gym bag and walk outside. Dad gets out of the car and grabs Charlie by the arm.
“Get in the ****ing car?....”
I grit my teeth before it happens...the volcano explodes
“TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER....”
I shove my father against the car, he’s alot bigger than me he turns around and backhands me.
“What the **** do you think you’re doing?...disrespecting me like that?....I’ll teach you boy....”
He hits me. It feels like a brick to the face. He hits me again and things go fuzzy, there’s ringing in my ears as I hear my mother and sister plead with him to stop. My sister claws his back, he turns around and raises his hand to hit her.....I snap.....
I wake up a few minutes later, dad is being loaded into an ambulance, I’m in handcuffs. I have a police officer telling me that it was self defence and everything will be ok. He tells me that he’s never seen a fifteen year old take a beating then beat up a grown man....I look over at my mother and sister, although they look worried....they’re happy...because for now...he can’t hurt them....
I hold a tattered photo in my hands, it’s my family. My sister, my brother, my mother and myself. My father long gone by this point. I smile and put it away. I protected them, the one’s I love. I then look at another photo. It’s a picture from about four years ago of myself and Tara Fenix, my arm over her, her eyes full of love...or maybe lust.....
“But now here you are Angel. You have a new woman in your life and isn’t it ironic that after all your talk of me stealing your family and how I apparently want to be like you, you end up with one of my ex’s, a woman who I fell in love with who ripped my heart and my balls out. Trust me when I say that you two belong together. Two lying pieces of trash, the only difference is that I can still see good in you Angel, Tara is a cold hearted bitch. She will ruin your life, break you down. Just ask her ex husband William Spencer, and of course myself. We were both used by her, but then again maybe you deserve it. One thing is for sure...you deserve the beating I’m going to give you......”
“After all you’ve done you deserve every damn thing you’re going to get. You know the truth Angel. You can try and hide behind your hurt father act. But in the end we both know you don’t give two ****s about Hayleigh. All you want is what you consider to be your property. You don’t want what’s best for her, you just want to try and make me and Shelly miserable.....”
“Alex.....I don’t want to go back to him......he hurts me..makes me feel like trash.....tells me I’ nothing......”
I smile and hold her in my arms. Shelly’s heart beats against my chest, I’m in heaven. I will protect her..love her....cherish her....
“Am I better Shell?.....am I really better?.....I know Angel has a demon inside him that won’t let go. If we do this, if we’re together, Angel will do something to hurt us...to try and drive us apart....”
Shelly looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
“He doesn’t even care that I’m gone Alex....but if he does will you fight for me?...”
I smile warmly and kiss her forehead.
“I’ll fight until my final breathe for you Shelly....you and Hayleigh....I won’t let him hurt you anymore....I’ll protect you Shelly...I promise...I’ll protect you....”
She nuzzles against me, she’s scared. But she knows if one man can protect her from Angel’s darkness...it’s me....
“This issue between us needs to end Angel. And the only way it will end is with you out of my life. I see that now. I see that I need to destroy you, I need to make you realise that they are my family now, and we’re stronger than you could ever imagine. With Shelly and Hayleigh’s love I can beat you, I can end you.....”
I close my eyes again and sigh deeply, I put down my pictures and lock them away with my memories of the past.....it’s time to think about the hear and now...it’s time to focus on who and what I’ve become.....