Post by Freakke on Jun 18, 2010 21:47:39 GMT -6
Somewhere at a supposedly undisclosed location(Hexx's Mom's Basement), Magically Delicious, the duo comprised of the wrestlers Hexx and Mr. Happy, has strapped the X-Division Champion to a wooden structure used in Hexx's more devious Voodoo rituals. Freakke still lies unconscious after being assaulted by the two only days prior. As Hexx pours through his books of voodoo spells and knowledge, Mr. Happy sits by waiting impatiently.
"Hexx...whats the plan again?"
"Your kidding right? How many times have we gone over this?"
"Seven...err, eight times I think. I just forgot."
Hexx stopped and rubbed his forehead.
"Look, we need some help. I'm not gonna lie, we stink in the ring."
"I told you you should wear deodorant."
"Thats not what I mean Happy. Just be quiet and listen for five seconds. My great great grandmother left me this book."
"I thought she sold insurance or something."
Hexx eyed Mr. Happy for a moment and continued.
"With this I'm gonna turn this one into a Voodoo zombie to serve our command and aid us in becoming the number one and two men in nCw!"
"But don't zombie's eat people's brains?"
"Not voodoo..."
"Didn't Freakke escape your evil voodoo powers before?"
"That was..."
"Doesn't the media pay too much attention to the lives of superstars?!?"
"Well yeah but what does..."
"LEAVE ZELDA ALONE!!!!"
"HAPPY!"
"What?"
There was a long silence as Hexx shook his head.
"The point is, we're going to control the X-Division Champion. Thats enough edge to help us win a few matches at least. Now help me prepare this spell."
They moved over to Freakke who had been slowly beginning to come to.
"Now, spell says to chant a series of long and complicated verses...which we're not going to do because its boring. Then it says to sacrifice a chicken. Mr. Happy, give me the chicken sacrifice!"
Mr. Happy reached over to the table and pulled out a fresh bucket of KFC.
"Happy...what is this? Where's the chicken I bought?"
"I let it go..."
"Whatever..."
"LEAVE THE CHICKEN ALONE!!!"
"Done?"
"Yeah."
Hexx took the bucket of KFC and raised it high above his head.
"Something, something, hokus, pokus, chickens and Krokus. I sacrifice this bucket of delicious fried chicken to the spirits. We ask in return for a spirit to possess this man...clown...thing so that we may command it!"
Freakke groggily opened his eyes and glared at Hexx for a moment.
"What the..."
"Happy, the Sacred thing over there, toss it to me so that the spell can be finished before he gets up!"
Mr. Happy looked around quickly but could only find one thing. He grabbed a hold of it and tossed it to Hexx as quickly as he could. Hexx caught it and smiled.
"With this Sacred...Frying Pan?!? Screw it. With this Sacred Frying Pan I command you spirits to possess this man and obey me...err us!"
Hexx then smashed Freakke in the head with the frying pan.
"Ahh! What the Hell!"
"Spirits! Make with the possessing!"
"The Power of Voodoo compels you! The Power of Voodoo compels you!!!"
Hexx hit Freakke in the head again with the pan.
"What is wrong with you?!?"
"Be possessed!"
Hexx hit Freakke again and the X-Division Champ gripped his head firmly.
"I'm Possessed! I'm possessed!!!"
Hexx hit Freakke once more as hard as he could and Clown shlumped down. A few moments passed and Hexx looked to Mr. Happy.
"Did it work?"
"Oooooohhhh...."
Hexx threw his arms up in victory and shouted.
"SUCCESS!!! He is a zombie!!!"
"You boys keep it the hell down! Gunsmoke is on and I can't hear **** because of all your hootin and hollering! So shut up!"
"Yes, mother..."
"So what now?"
"Now we test our control over him. We command him to destroy his opponents this weekend. Sephiroth Du Lac and Ron Gibson won't have had any clue what would have hit them. Ever since Twilight, vampires have been utter pansies and Ron's just a big dumb redneck. If he couldn't handle them before, he can now. Now he's a zombie. He'll have no limits on his stamina now."
"But all we did was hit him on the head with a frying pan and hold chicken in the air."
"Yes, but its part of my religion. Last I checked, vampires don't have religion. Neither do Ron Gibson's I think. Anyhow, we have his skills at our disposal. If he proves useless on his own we can always use him as a distraction or to spook up trouble on our own matches."
Freakke started to move again and Hexx hit him on the head with the pan.
"OK...I suppose."
"What are you doing? Are you...are you eating the chicken sacrifice?"
Mr. Happy tried to hide the drumstick but had a piece sticking from his mouth.
"No..."
"Anyways, this weekend at Trauma, we're gonna have our new minion demolish Du Lac and Gibson. Them once those two pansies are out of the way, we can take over nCw!"
"I LOVE THIS PLAN!!!"
"Thats it! I'm getting the belt!!!"
"No Momma, No!!!"
"Hexx...whats the plan again?"
"Your kidding right? How many times have we gone over this?"
"Seven...err, eight times I think. I just forgot."
Hexx stopped and rubbed his forehead.
"Look, we need some help. I'm not gonna lie, we stink in the ring."
"I told you you should wear deodorant."
"Thats not what I mean Happy. Just be quiet and listen for five seconds. My great great grandmother left me this book."
"I thought she sold insurance or something."
Hexx eyed Mr. Happy for a moment and continued.
"With this I'm gonna turn this one into a Voodoo zombie to serve our command and aid us in becoming the number one and two men in nCw!"
"But don't zombie's eat people's brains?"
"Not voodoo..."
"Didn't Freakke escape your evil voodoo powers before?"
"That was..."
"Doesn't the media pay too much attention to the lives of superstars?!?"
"Well yeah but what does..."
"LEAVE ZELDA ALONE!!!!"
"HAPPY!"
"What?"
There was a long silence as Hexx shook his head.
"The point is, we're going to control the X-Division Champion. Thats enough edge to help us win a few matches at least. Now help me prepare this spell."
They moved over to Freakke who had been slowly beginning to come to.
"Now, spell says to chant a series of long and complicated verses...which we're not going to do because its boring. Then it says to sacrifice a chicken. Mr. Happy, give me the chicken sacrifice!"
Mr. Happy reached over to the table and pulled out a fresh bucket of KFC.
"Happy...what is this? Where's the chicken I bought?"
"I let it go..."
"Whatever..."
"LEAVE THE CHICKEN ALONE!!!"
"Done?"
"Yeah."
Hexx took the bucket of KFC and raised it high above his head.
"Something, something, hokus, pokus, chickens and Krokus. I sacrifice this bucket of delicious fried chicken to the spirits. We ask in return for a spirit to possess this man...clown...thing so that we may command it!"
Freakke groggily opened his eyes and glared at Hexx for a moment.
"What the..."
"Happy, the Sacred thing over there, toss it to me so that the spell can be finished before he gets up!"
Mr. Happy looked around quickly but could only find one thing. He grabbed a hold of it and tossed it to Hexx as quickly as he could. Hexx caught it and smiled.
"With this Sacred...Frying Pan?!? Screw it. With this Sacred Frying Pan I command you spirits to possess this man and obey me...err us!"
Hexx then smashed Freakke in the head with the frying pan.
"Ahh! What the Hell!"
"Spirits! Make with the possessing!"
"The Power of Voodoo compels you! The Power of Voodoo compels you!!!"
Hexx hit Freakke in the head again with the pan.
"What is wrong with you?!?"
"Be possessed!"
Hexx hit Freakke again and the X-Division Champ gripped his head firmly.
"I'm Possessed! I'm possessed!!!"
Hexx hit Freakke once more as hard as he could and Clown shlumped down. A few moments passed and Hexx looked to Mr. Happy.
"Did it work?"
"Oooooohhhh...."
Hexx threw his arms up in victory and shouted.
"SUCCESS!!! He is a zombie!!!"
"You boys keep it the hell down! Gunsmoke is on and I can't hear **** because of all your hootin and hollering! So shut up!"
"Yes, mother..."
"So what now?"
"Now we test our control over him. We command him to destroy his opponents this weekend. Sephiroth Du Lac and Ron Gibson won't have had any clue what would have hit them. Ever since Twilight, vampires have been utter pansies and Ron's just a big dumb redneck. If he couldn't handle them before, he can now. Now he's a zombie. He'll have no limits on his stamina now."
"But all we did was hit him on the head with a frying pan and hold chicken in the air."
"Yes, but its part of my religion. Last I checked, vampires don't have religion. Neither do Ron Gibson's I think. Anyhow, we have his skills at our disposal. If he proves useless on his own we can always use him as a distraction or to spook up trouble on our own matches."
Freakke started to move again and Hexx hit him on the head with the pan.
"OK...I suppose."
"What are you doing? Are you...are you eating the chicken sacrifice?"
Mr. Happy tried to hide the drumstick but had a piece sticking from his mouth.
"No..."
"Anyways, this weekend at Trauma, we're gonna have our new minion demolish Du Lac and Gibson. Them once those two pansies are out of the way, we can take over nCw!"
"I LOVE THIS PLAN!!!"
"Thats it! I'm getting the belt!!!"
"No Momma, No!!!"