Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Aug 15, 2009 14:55:04 GMT -6
Sorry, didn't notice this section til now. It'll be interesting to see what horrible things are said about me and my writing.
((Otherwise said: I'm open for criticism))
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Aug 19, 2009 5:15:21 GMT -6
Well dude......
I can see some potential in your writing but what im looking for is a little meat and potatoes to the rps. What you have in your latest rp is just character development and thats cool. But you need to at least mention your opponent or your match.
What does Freakke think about his opponent? What does he have to say about his opponent bad mouthing him?
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Aug 19, 2009 10:05:36 GMT -6
Alright.
The character doesn't really care about what people say or even really pays attention for the matter. I'm planning to start pulling the good 'ol clown prank routine.
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Aug 19, 2009 12:52:40 GMT -6
I understand that....but even The Undertaker cuts promos every now and then.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Aug 19, 2009 13:55:23 GMT -6
I've never actually seen a Taker promo...
I guess. It'll be pranks. Pies, seltzer water, joy buzzers. The character is supposed to be sorta like one man D-Generation X. They do a lot of promos though...
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Post by Maniac on Aug 20, 2009 22:39:58 GMT -6
I liked your latest rp, but like Steve/Brent was saying, your missing just that little bit extra that turns these good rps into awesome ones.
I see allot of great potential for this character, and I don't think we're talking your typical trash talk promo or anything of that nature, but I think having Freakke in some way, thats completely natural for you, talk about the match would add something to these rps.
Keep up the good work my friend.
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Post by adm on Aug 20, 2009 23:00:08 GMT -6
*beats the dead horse with a deader horse*
Yep...same thing as Steve/Ed said about promo stuff. You NEED to find a few lines here and there to talk about the match. Even if all you do is make fun of the guy's name...it's something. Find a way for Freakke to naturally address it in a way that suits a nutcase clown. I'd suggest interpretive dance but...ok that was just a joke.
Find a way to do even part of a "typical promo". Look up vids on youtube of like Ultimate Warrior or Raven or Taker or ICP or just about anyone doing a promo in wrestling. They say something about the match...even if it's an off-site promo or interview off-site. They gotta say something.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Aug 24, 2009 10:09:56 GMT -6
New rp is up.
I used to have an interviewing segment called the Freakke Showwe where I made fun of people while talking about current situations but it only had two shows and I did the one by me lonesome.
Nathan Doe was my only live interviewee and the he was Mac Daddy Squid. I still call him Mac Daddy Kalamari
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Post by adm on Aug 24, 2009 12:43:42 GMT -6
This rp was...interesting. I'm still trying to figure out something constructive to say about how to possibly improve the quality for this character but right now I'm drawing a blank...I've never really thought about clowns used...as clowns...before.
I guess a tip would be to look on Youtube for clips of Doink and see what you can draw from there. Maybe ICP's JCW, WCW, whatever stuff. Just remember, this is a realistic fed so...you can always just "document a day of his life" as well as do short bits of talking about the upcoming match...I always did wonder what Clowns ate...
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Aug 24, 2009 19:08:32 GMT -6
Well, this is the kind of response that I want. I've succeeded if I have done something no one else has done before. The character is very clownish but also quite serious. I have to be careful how I tread with him.
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Post by Maniac on Aug 27, 2009 20:36:27 GMT -6
This latest rp was quite funny and I enjoyed it. I think having someone for Freakke to play off of in your rps might be something to further explore. But this is a big step in the right direction I think.
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Post by Tommy Victor on Aug 27, 2009 22:05:36 GMT -6
I've always enjoyed your roleplays from every fed I've been in with you. They're always interesting and unique
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Aug 28, 2009 20:52:24 GMT -6
New rp ready for being picked apart with cruel words
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Sept 10, 2009 7:38:07 GMT -6
PPV rp's are up. Well, actually the second will be in a few minutes but anywho...
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Sept 12, 2009 15:50:19 GMT -6
Should I even do a third rp? Corey Shane hasn't even done one yet
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Oct 17, 2009 20:22:29 GMT -6
Quadruple Post!: Ok, how about some thoughts on my RttG 3 rps. I've only got two out and I don't know If I'll be allowed to post a third. I only just got my 2nd one in and I think there's a rule against posting twice in 24 hours on the last day.
Thoughts on the two I get for sure?
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Post by Maniac on Oct 18, 2009 10:27:32 GMT -6
It's 12 hours on the deadline day for future notice. I think you've been coming along nicely so far. The only thing I'd like to see is a little more dialogue from the main character on his match. Otherwise, the Blackheart rps were good, I liked em and I enjoyed seeing a different side of Freakke this week in that second rp, not as clownish as usual.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Oct 18, 2009 14:19:03 GMT -6
Well, outside of his job, Charlie isn't clownish at all.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Nov 3, 2009 20:06:28 GMT -6
In case you didn't know, the title 'Like Drywall' references being screwed.
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Nov 3, 2009 21:01:50 GMT -6
Good rp man. Feel free to use Bad Luck Chuck anytime
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Nov 3, 2009 21:12:46 GMT -6
Danke
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Post by Maniac on Nov 3, 2009 22:13:27 GMT -6
Hey, Happy and Hexx as partners does not equal screwed, it just equals... Something... That isn't screwed. Either way, liked the role play and I really hope to see Freakke and Happy do something in the not so distant future.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Nov 21, 2009 13:14:29 GMT -6
Threw up a two for one RP for both BH and Freakke. I've been pressed for time and I'm gonna try and get in at least one more for each of them before the deadline. Also the end of the rp is a slight hint at Freakke's old/new manager and girlfriend, Luna(Mina Hunter), being introduced. She should be making her introduction after the PPV
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Nov 26, 2009 17:26:33 GMT -6
I've become concerned about my last few rp's lengths...they seem a little short
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Post by Maniac on Nov 26, 2009 22:04:22 GMT -6
Yeah, your latest one was a bit short, may I recommend putting Freakke interacting with more people while cutting his promos, say the manager, fans, Chad, Bad Luck Chuck, or even doing something a little more story related with the character like Freakke goes to see his brother or sister or parents or something.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Nov 28, 2009 18:36:02 GMT -6
Ummm, when I responded to the Mr. Mysterio rp about the clown killing his parents, that was actual character not gimmick story. His direct family is dead. I think it was because I was a little rushed with them and I wanted them up, this one should be a bit better.
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Post by Maniac on Nov 28, 2009 23:08:06 GMT -6
Ok, that last rp was pretty much what I was talking about, very well written, very informative and right on track with what I was trying to convey, now all you need to work on in my opinion is exactly the opposite of what I tell other people. Most of the time I tell them they run on too long, well past their point, but you do the exact opposite and get to it quite quickly. I love a guy who can make a point in less than a hundred thousand words (being sarcastic) but in my opinion, I don't think it would hurt you to have Freakke say just a bit more about his match, only another paragraph or two (roughly four to five sentences each) Other wise that rp was very good and a great read. Your doing good and I enjoy what you put out.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Nov 30, 2009 9:12:31 GMT -6
Thank you kindly. *Takes a bow*
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Dec 7, 2009 16:44:54 GMT -6
Thoughts?
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Dec 12, 2009 13:32:57 GMT -6
Riot Preview Match 2nd RP is up
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