Post by Angel on Jul 7, 2010 16:27:06 GMT -6
The misconception from day one was that I just randomly hooked up with Tara because I was tired of my wife. Trust me, I've heard it from allot of people. And to be fair, it's easy to see why they think I was just trading in the old wife for a newer, better model. But that isn't what happened. Shelly and I, our marriage, the family we had made together... Was never meant to be. We both tried, we both did what we could but in the end I can't blame her for falling in love with someone else and you can't blame me either. I did nothing wrong. I didn't ask for what happened. But at the end of the day, when I go home and I see Tara, I'm truly happy, that is until reality sets back in...
September 21st, 8:32 PM.
[/u]September 21st, 8:32 PM.
"This can't happen."[/color]
That was the first thing Tara said to me when I told her I wanted to leave Shelly for her...[/color]
"Look Angel... We both... We had allot to drink last night... And... It's not that I don't find you attractive... It's... What happened... It shouldn't of happened...."[/color]
I know now that she was just afraid to admit what she was feeling. I know now that Tara wears a suit of armor over her real emotions. I know now that everything she was saying to me that night was just a cover, a clever lie to herself, a way to get away from what she was feeling and escape back to what was normal.[/color]
"And I'm sorry if I made you think last night was anything more than... what it was... But... I've... I should go..."[/color]
She tried to leave right there but I stopped her.[/color]
"Tara... Please..."[/color]
You always miss the point Alex...
Always...
And it makes me so sad...
One day I hope you wake up from the shell you live in and see yourself for what you are...
But until that day your going to have to continue to live in the world of lies you weave...
You think I made Shelly do anything?
I'm sorry Alex...
I didn't make her...
It was her idea to destroy you...
It was her idea to seduce you...
It was her idea... Not mine...
You see Alex....
I always respected you...
Believe it or not...
I always looked forward to the day you'd prove everyone wrong...
Our feud...
Our battles...
I enjoyed them all...
But Shelly...
Shelly didn't like the idea of me having an equal...
She didn't like the idea of someone moving in to knock me off my perch...
Truth be told Alex...
She hates wrestling...
But she loves money...
Tell yourself she loves you...
Tell yourself it's all for real...
Tell yourself that it will be different...
That your road will not mirror my own...
That Shelly will not stab you in the back like she did me...
And I'll just laugh when it happens Alex...
Once a whore...
Always a whore...
And now that she's inside your mind...
Now that she has her tendrils wrapped around your heart again...
You belong to her...
And she will use you...
She will abuse you...
And when she is all done with you...
There will be nothing left but a husk...
Enjoy her while she lasts.
September 21st, 2009, 8:38 PM
When she looked at me I saw the faintest glimmer of love, of passion, of everything that would come to be between us. I saw for one instant the happiness and joy I could... would feel with her one day. But it only lasted for an instant. She turned from me and walked toward the door.[/color]
"I can't Angel... I'm sorry... I won't be the one who destroys your marriage... I can't shoulder that..."[/color]
I tried to tell her how I felt about Shelly, how loveless that last year had been, how miserable we both were but she wouldn't hear it. I'm not sure if she didn't believe me or if she just didn't want to admit how she felt. Either way, she would not stay. She turned back...[/color]
"The reason I came to see you was because I heard you were in contact with Mongo... And... If you decide to sign the contract he sent you... I wanted you to know I'll... Be there for you."[/color]
She made me smile, she smiled too, but it was quickly gone and replaced with the slightest smirk, like something just came together in her mind.[/color]
"And maybe... just maybe... We can save the whole damn company... See you around Angel."[/color]
She was gone and it would be the last time I'd see her until I debuted with the other company. When I went there, when I worked with her, I knew the happiness I felt on that night again. And every evening when we went our separate ways I felt the gapping hole in my chest where she had stolen my heart...[/color]
Now.
"And now the entire world looks to me and asks me how I could hit my wife? How I could turn such a cold shoulder to her and cast her out of our house and onto the street? How I could rip her daughter from her and condemn the thing she carried in her stomach? How?[/color]
I lift my head and look directly into the camera I have set up before me.[/color]
"How could you not? After two years of living a lie with a woman I can barely look at, how could I not? Knowing in my heart that the one I wanted to be with was out there, how could I not? Knowing that everytime I tried to break free she'd dig her talons deeper into my back, how could I not just snap? How could I not fight for my freedom from her? How? You think living with Shelly was easy? You think it was all one sided? Paint me the villain if you want, but I never, ever, until the day I cast her out of my life lifted a finger in violence against her.
So when Alex Jones and the rest of nCw want to sit back and wag their finger at me like I'm some sort of evil monster from hell, I ask you to walk one mile in my shoes and tell me how you could not do what I did?
Personally, I don't care if you agree with me or not. I never asked for or wanted your approval over my love life. What I do want now is my daughter, the one I fathered, the one I was there to raise, the one I held as soon as she was born, the one I bathed when she was little, the one I watched take her first step and speak her first word. I want my daughter, the light of my life.
What you think you have Alex, the bond you think you formed... It's all a lie.
The moment she sees me, the moment she hears my voice, the moment I pick her up in my arms, you will be gone. Erased. Like you never existed. And that is eating you up inside isn't it Alex? That you can be so easily and so seamlessly replaced? When you look at her, when you hear her force out the word "Daddy" when you sit her down and throw a script on her lap to read before the camera... You know she doesn't love you...
Your just Mommy's friend...
Your just Pretend Daddy...
Your just...
Nothing.
Not to her Alex."[/color]
I just laugh, it's so hard not to.[/color]
"What do you want me to say Alex? That your right, I'm this big evil guy and I deserve to pay? Get over it. Your not going to punish me for anything. Your not some living embodiment of everything I've done wrong. Your a human, a flawed, ignorant and mind numbingly moronic human being. Like myself.
The difference is I can admit it. I know I've done some things that people don't agree with, guess what Alex, I didn't ask for your opinion or your acceptance. But you know what, speak your mind, it's a free country, but I ask you, what does Gib, the Revolution or anything else have to do with this?
Nothing.
It's all just a way for you to justify what you've done, to make yourself out to be the hero, because you just can't admit how goddam sad what your doing really is. You need the people to love you, you need the respect of the boys in the back, you need so desperately to be the hero the Revolution made you out to be, that when you look in the mirror, when you see that cracked and jaded reflection look back, and when you remember that it was Shelly who did it to you... Not me... You scratch and claw for every evil deed and fowl phrase I ever committed so as to make yourself look that much better.
Sad thing is Alex, like your glass house, I can see right through you.
See Alex, I wasn't the one who paraded Hayleigh in front of your face. I didn't attack your brother. I didn't cut promo after promo after promo on Collision showing off my new family.
What did I do Alex?
WHAT DID I DO!?
I sat back, like a human being, like a gentlemen, I accepted, in the end, that Shelly wanted to be with you, that she was mothering your child and I kindly asked for my daughter back. Thats it. Thats all I did. And I'm the bad guy? You attacked me two weeks in a row. You attacked Nero. Just last week you cut off my promo with a home video of you and my daughter and I'm the bad guy?
Excuse me Alex, but that sounds rather hypocritical of you. Before this week, before this match, I was perfectly willing to make this work. I never said Shelly had to give me full custody. I never said you couldn't be a part of her life. I never said anything that would lead anyone to believe that I wanted anything other than the chance to make up for the one thing I regret.
I regret not being there for my daughter while I was on the road.
You got me Alex.
Yeah, I'm a bad father for having a job... The same one as you... I'm a bad father for going after World titles... The same ones as you... I'm a bad father for living my dream... The same one that you live... You got me Alex... You exposed me... Now tell me, what exactly are you going to do different? Will you drop wrestling because Hayleigh asks you too? Will you give up everything you ever wanted for that little girl? Will you let go of your ego and just turn away?
No.
You won't.
You can't.
As much as you "love" my daughter and ex-wife.
Alex Jones loves Alex Jones WAY more.
And that is why you've made it a point to attack me.
Humiliate me.
And coax me into wrestling a match I wanted no part of.
Sorry Alex...
But when the time comes, I will do all those things and more for Hayleigh. Like I said, I don't care if you beat me. This isn't about winning for me anymore. I've been to the top of the mountain. I've beaten the legends. I am a future member of the Hall of Fame. I've done everything I set out to do and now I just want my little girl back.
Believe me.
Don't believe me.
It's the truth.
As for Picture Perfect...
I may not want to win....
But your damn right I want to kill you...
And when we're in that cage...
When I have you all alone...
I'm going to show you first hand what kind of monster I can be..."[/color]
I make the sign of the cross.[/color]
"May God have Mercy on your Soul."[/color]
The End.
I'll be the first to say
That now I'm okay
And for the first time
I've opened up my eyes
This was my worst love
You'll be the first to go
And when she leaves you for dead
You'll be the last to know [/b][/center]