Post by Maniac on Aug 10, 2010 16:50:14 GMT -6
Dear....
Whoever finds this...
I'm sorry. I have to start off by saying that first. I'm sorry I wasn't tough enough, strong enough or good enough to persevere... I tried... I really did... But life... It's not for me... When I was little I was fat and nobody liked me... When I grew up I was fatter and everyone hated me... When I lost the weight... And found the man of my dreams... He hated me... So what was I supposed to do?
Mom... Dad... It's not your fault. You tried your best. You gave me a good life. And I will always love you for everything you did for me. Especially you Dad... Daddy... Your the one who always told me I was pretty... Always said it didn't matter what the boys thought... You thought I was pretty and that's all that mattered. I love you Daddy...
And Mom... Mommy... You were over protective my whole life and that was the best thing about you. Without you I don't know what kind of person I would of been...
I love you guys... Always.
Whoever finds this...
I'm sorry. I have to start off by saying that first. I'm sorry I wasn't tough enough, strong enough or good enough to persevere... I tried... I really did... But life... It's not for me... When I was little I was fat and nobody liked me... When I grew up I was fatter and everyone hated me... When I lost the weight... And found the man of my dreams... He hated me... So what was I supposed to do?
Mom... Dad... It's not your fault. You tried your best. You gave me a good life. And I will always love you for everything you did for me. Especially you Dad... Daddy... Your the one who always told me I was pretty... Always said it didn't matter what the boys thought... You thought I was pretty and that's all that mattered. I love you Daddy...
And Mom... Mommy... You were over protective my whole life and that was the best thing about you. Without you I don't know what kind of person I would of been...
I love you guys... Always.
Did not have a chance, fell into line
I’ll rot down here for the meantime
Without a voice I’ll never change
I slide back down this slope again
I’ll rot down here for the meantime
Without a voice I’ll never change
I slide back down this slope again
I've carried this immense weight my entire life Kyle. I've talked about it before, the desire to be better than my brother. But it was always more than that. It was always something else. I've always had this passion inside of me to go out there and be something great...
Maybe your right... Maybe I get in my own way. Maybe I am my own worst enemy...
I don't know... you see Kyle I don't really know how to be anything other than what I am. Truth be told, what I am hasn't been a very good person and I'm now starting to pay the price. A price you once told me I'd have to pay, a price I can honestly say was too high...
I'm not really sure what to do...
A part of me wants to come to the ring Sunday night and beat the living hell out of you until you tap out...
Another part of me wants to buy a gun and blow my brains out all over this computer moniter...
I never thought the things I did would ever really effect anyone... Sure I had Seth Evans hurt my brother... Injuries heal... Sure I did everything I could to drag your name through the mud and ruin your life... But your a tough guy, I knew you'd bounce back... But her... When I heard about her it absolutely crushed me... I've never really liked who I turned out to be... But now?
I down right hate myself...
The second I began to see
I had my eyes ripped out and fed to me
Without a choice I’ll never change
I slide back down this slope again
I had my eyes ripped out and fed to me
Without a choice I’ll never change
I slide back down this slope again
Rob...
I love you Rob, more than life itself... I know that seems pretty dumb to say, especially considering the circumstances under which your hearing it, but it's true...
I knew the moment I first met you that we were meant to spend eternity together. I still remember it Rob, do you? It was supposed to be a gag for one of your promos but something sparked between us and well... We had a falling out... Then a reunion... And through it all I still loved you Rob... nothing could ever make me feel otherwise...
But when... you said what you said to me outside of that arena... When you told me you didn't need me... That you could find someone else... My heart broke Rob... I felt it ripped from my chest in a very literal way...
I tried to move on, to pick myself back up, but I can't hide my feelings like you can Rob... I can't ignore who I am... I'm sorry I wasn't who you wanted... I'm sorry I couldn't be better for you...
I'm sorry you didn't love me...
Like I loved you...
[/color][/right]I love you Rob, more than life itself... I know that seems pretty dumb to say, especially considering the circumstances under which your hearing it, but it's true...
I knew the moment I first met you that we were meant to spend eternity together. I still remember it Rob, do you? It was supposed to be a gag for one of your promos but something sparked between us and well... We had a falling out... Then a reunion... And through it all I still loved you Rob... nothing could ever make me feel otherwise...
But when... you said what you said to me outside of that arena... When you told me you didn't need me... That you could find someone else... My heart broke Rob... I felt it ripped from my chest in a very literal way...
I tried to move on, to pick myself back up, but I can't hide my feelings like you can Rob... I can't ignore who I am... I'm sorry I wasn't who you wanted... I'm sorry I couldn't be better for you...
I'm sorry you didn't love me...
Like I loved you...
Following the wrong lines
Marching forward in the wrong time
Punch the clock, then the wall, punch the clock
It’s a longer form of suicide
(And one hell of a ride)
Marching forward in the wrong time
Punch the clock, then the wall, punch the clock
It’s a longer form of suicide
(And one hell of a ride)
Do you know what it's like to look in the mirror an hate what you see? Do you know what it's like to hear what everyone says about you, good or bad, and know that their right?
I do Kyle.
I know what it's like to live in other people's shadows, to live with other people's opinions, to constantly underwhelm or disappoint... I know who I am... What I've done... And I hate it...
You don't have that problem... Despite your past you have become the perfect person... You have the perfect life... The perfect girl friend... You are the literal representation of what every single kid in wrestling school wants to become...
And with everything on my plate... I'm supposed to buck up, smile and get in that ring with you like nothing is going on? I can't do that Kyle... Honestly.. I don't know what I can do anymore... I see the road before me but it's blurry... I know this is my moment to rise up and prove the world wrong but... But the weight keeps bearing down on me... I know your going to have some sage like advice or maybe even an insult... But it's not going to help me get past this Kyle...
I've done something that can never be forgiven....
And now I have to live my life?
Now I have to go on either like it didn't happen or let it destroy me...
Honestly...
I'd rather it destroyed me...
I can't live with this kind of pain. I can't go on knowing this is who I am. How am I ever going to stop? What will ever make me change? Sure, something horrible happened because of me but who's to say next pay per view I don't swerve you all and say I don't care? What's going to stop this endless cycle of self destruction?
Kyle f***ing Braddock is.
I don't care if you don't want to end my career Kyle, you have to. You need to. That is the only way this ends. You snap my neck in the middle of that ring, you kill Rob Diamond and you release me from this misery and this suffering. I'm begging you Kyle. I'm down on my knees and I'm begging you. Do this for me. Do this for Zelda. Do this for Jenny...
Her death does not deserve to go unpunished.
I do not deserve to go unpunished...
Please Kyle... Your the only one who can do this... End my career... My life... Take it all away so I can't destroy it anymore...
Slave to the grind and no surprise
I might drop dead in the meantime
Without a say I’ll never change
I slide back down this slope again
I might drop dead in the meantime
Without a say I’ll never change
I slide back down this slope again
I love you Rob Diamond...
Forever.
[/color][/right]Forever.
( Rob lowered the note in his hand, the tears in his eyes. He looked down at it again and re-read those last words. The last thing she ever wrote before she took her life. )
I can't do this anymore Kyle... I can't be this person... Please...
( Fade to black. )