Post by Joe Everyman on Nov 27, 2010 4:15:30 GMT -6
You could have been all I wanted
But you weren't honest
Now get in the ground
You choked off the surest of favors
But if you really loved me
You would have endured my world
But you weren't honest
Now get in the ground
You choked off the surest of favors
But if you really loved me
You would have endured my world
---{November 26th 2010. 2:37 a.m.}---
Joe walks the dark streets of Washington D.C. still. Still deeply lost in his thoughts. In his hand hangs an open journey. After a few paces, Joe stops at a tree along the side of a road in the city. He leans against the tree and holds the journey up to his face. The light from a near by streetlight. He looks down at the words scribbled onto the page... as he fall deeper into his memories...
Do you remember when the days were long? When they rolled along, underneath the deep, blue sky? The clouds would roll by, and the grass would sway from side to side in the cool, spring time breeze. Those were the days, weren't they? I remember them like they were yesterday. And for some people, they were yesterday. People who haven't been poisoned and tainted by these destroyed lives. The destroyed lives of people who see the truth. The truth in this world is that we will all die. So, what is the use in finding solace in joy? All of it is a fake euphoria, created by our weak and simple minds. Joy, smiles, happiness, all shadowed by the ever looming fear of the end. Death awaits all men, all women, all children... just waiting for the fates to instruct it. Thoughts of our past come back. Lives flash before our eyes on our death beds. We can only hope for one thing... hoping, praying... that we will end up in someone else's last vision. The question remains... did you see me when your life flashed before your eyes?
I have a few people in my life that I would ask this question to. Nobody wants to go into the afterlife on a lie. Nobody wants their last thoughts to be of those undeserving. I wonder this every day with Maria. When the day finally comes that she will be put to rest for all eternity... will I earn a spot in that final showing? When her life flashed before her eyes, will I somehow get a staring role? Even with the shadow of death looming, constantly overhead, we can still look forward to this. Even if our own lives are destroyed, left burning... we can still enrich those of others. Unless they are useless to repair. For those... for the ones who have wronged us, all they deserve in their final views in the world is what they are about to see forever... dark, damned nightmares of their past sins. An eternity of black. An eternity of repentance.
Will this be in store for me? Will I go into the afterlife a broken, burned soul? Or will I get that last golden drop, knowing I was the final thing Maria saw in her life? Only time will tell... but I can tip the scales the best I can while I'm on this planet. The darkness looms in my heart... nothing I can do from here on will ever make it subside. However, I still love my wife. No matter what, it will always be there. That is why she will be back in my arms. She will see the error in her ways and come back to me.
For this, however... no, there is no however. I will not repent for my sins. For, one has sinned more than I. It is not Maria... she is a angel laced in gold. No, the sinner here is Gabriel Karras, the blackened father. For the sins he has committed against me and my wife, the penalty is death. Long... painful... never ending. I shouldn't have to explain what happens to sinners when they are sent to hell. But if you want a taste, just look me in the eyes this Sunday...
---{July 24th, 1999. 11:35 a.m.}---
A park in downtown Washington D.C. Fifteen year old Joe Everyman and fourteen year old Scotty Callaway are laying in the grass near a large oak tree, with a slightly older girl standing above them. It was perfectly peaceful... just the way she wants to remember it.
Amber Williams: Are you guys seriously just going to lay there all day? We only moved here a few weeks ago, I want to see the city!
Joe raises his arm and points towards the east.
Joe Everyman: Washington Monument, large white tower.
Scotty Callaway: I bet she's used to those...
Amber Williams: Hey! What's that suppose to mean?!
Scotty Callaway: Oh please, we heard what you did with Billy Jackson.
Amber quickly puts her hands over her mouth in shock.
Joe Everyman: Yep! I know you're a sophomore... but hitting it off with a senior boy? Wow, that takes balls.
Scotty Callaway: Bet she saw those too...
As soon as Scotty finishes, Amber gives him a swift kick to the ribs. Scotty rolls over in pain as Amber scoffs and sits down next to Joe.
Amber Williams: So Joe, have you met my little sister yet?
Joe Everyman: I don't think so... what's her name?
Amber Williams: Maria! She's adorable. Hey! Maria, come over here!!
The camera looks over at Maria, who is standing by her parents on a park bench. She quickly comes running over to where Amber and Joe are. Scotty is still in terrible pain.
Amber Williams: I'd like you to meet Joe.
Joe out reaches his hand to shake the twelve year old Maria's hand. Maria slowly stretches her's out too.
Joe Everyman: Pleased to meet you Maria.
Joe gives Maria a smile, who blushes at the gesture.
Joe Everyman: Is she ok?
Amber Williams: Yeah, she's just a little shy. You can go back to playing Maria.
Maria hugs her sister and then runs off back into the park. After a few moments, Joe and Amber go back to talking as Scotty finally gets back up. Maria goes over to where her parents sit and reaches into her backpack and pulls out her diary. She quickly grabs a pink pen and starts writing in it. She doesn't want to forget this day.
---{November 26th 2010. 2:59 a.m.}---
Joe Everyman: ...and I'll remember that day forever. It was the day that I met my husband to be. We may have only had a few days by now, but I can just tell it's the truth. I think I might tell him tomorrow those words... those three words we're all too afraid to say until the time is right.
He closes the book and holds it back down at his side. No tears, no expression... just lost in his thoughts again. Joe looks around the street, almost for answers. He then starts walking down the street again, hoping to find what he was looking for somewhere else.
---{July 24th, 2002. 11:35 a.m.}---
Joe and Maria stand under that same tree in the park, that same part from her happiest memories. Joe and Maris stand hand in hand, just looking around, enjoying the sights.
Maria Williams: Do you remember how crazy it was four years ago?
Joe Everyman: Yep, that day was great. I didn't even think that day that this is where we would be in four years. I mean, same day. Same spot. It's...
Maria Williams: Perfect.
Joe smiles down at Maria, who smiles back at him with joy. Maria's expression then immediately turns to that same way she was four years before; shy and afraid.
Joe Everyman: What is it Maria?
Maria Williams: I uh...
Joe Everyman: What? You can tell me, you don't need to be afraid.
Maria Williams: I... think I love you.
Joe gives a small smile to Maria and kisses her to ward any fear she had. Joe then gives Maria a big hug as well and whispers in her ear.
Joe Everyman: I love you too sweetheart.
...he doesn't mean it...
Maria then looks back up at Joe and gives the biggest smile in her young life.
Maria Williams: I'm so happy that you feel the same way.
...but how long would it last...
Joe Everyman: Of course I do. You know we were meant for each other. Now come on, let's get out of here. It looks like it's going to start pouring any time now.
...pouring rain...or tears...
---{November 26th 2010. 3:09 a.m.}---
Joe Everyman: ...and up to that day, I had never truly experienced happiness. The look in his eyes, the tone in his voice... I knew it was going to be true. Everything he said was going to come true one day. Day after day goes by, and he's the only thing on my mind. Joe is the love of my live; now and forever. X... O... X... O...
Joe closes the diary again, holding his finger in the book to hold his place. Joe's expression is still that of a lost man.
Joe Everyman: Where did it go wrong baby? I know what I have done wrong... I will never be forgiven for these sins I committed against you. But did it somewhere turn before that? How will I ever know?
...she is lost...those words will never be spoken again...
How do I repair that which has been shattered this much? Does the sludge just keep consuming me? So I give into the shadow?
...you already have...
I can feel it... the darkness inside. It has taken over my heart... except for that one golden spot. It's what's left of Maria's heart... the part that was always meant for me.
...don't fight it Joe...
I have to...
...you can't fight it...
I will...
...darkness has her...she will never return...
She will!
...she is already dead...
Joe suddenly drops the diary. It hits the pavement below him and pops open. More words from Maria are written in it. More broken promises.
...you lied to her. You cheated on her. You let Ashlie use your heart. And after she is gone, you just cast her aside...
Joe Everyman: How couldn't I? I knew what I did was wrong... I couldn't live my life anymore if she was anywhere near me. I had to have closure from that... I would have never loved her as much as I did Maria. I knew it in my heart.
...what heart...
I once had a heart... but since, it has been... burned. Burnt by the sins of my past. By the sins of others, hoping to do harm to me. Ones hoping to end my life. Ones that say I will never be remembered for anything I have ever done. Maybe not in the eyes of the wrestling world... for now, my reputation is set. But outside... I still have a life. My wife... I know, deep down, somewhere lost in the mind's eye... something will bring her back to me. My daughter... in need of the father she deserves. I promise, Aurora... your dad will return one day. I will be there for you, for whatever you could possibly ever need. I owe you this for missing so much of your childhood already. You may only be one... but that is too much time wasted. Wasted... by me. I will be there for Maria... for Aurora... for everyone. But there has to be an end to this darkness before the dawn can shatter the night's sky.
Gabriel Karras... must be put to rest. He must be taught a lesson for all of these sins. He will pay. His vice-grip on Maria will be released. And we will be able to live those poisoned, tainted fairy tales that everyone always talk about. And then maybe... just maybe, I will be the final thing that she sees. I will be the final frame on that picture of her life. Just like I have striven for these many years. This... dark cloud, may have just found me, but these realization have always been there. I knew this was going to happen at the end... but back then, I had a heart of silver. I had the pride of a lion. I have everything I could ever want in life. But now... I have the pride of the devil on my side. I feel it growing each and every day... it drove Maria away. But at the same time... I cannot make it stop. And I know it's the same beast growing into of the damned father, Karras.
No matter what... I will get Maria back. Her mind will be changed. I may never be forgiven... but her heart is solid gold. She will be able to love me for whatever I am... whatever I become. I may be a failure, but she will still accept me, no matter what. I may never be able to capture my dreams... but she will still be by my side during it all. How do I know these things to be the truth? Because I know Maria better than anyone else. I know her better than she knows herself. I know that she will want to eventually repair this. She is the kindest, sweetest woman in the entire world. She wants what's best for everyone around her, even if it means sacrificing her own heart and soul to complete it. Shame pulses through my heart because of the things I did to her... only confusion rests in hers. Confusion... and the broken pieces. Broken from within, from the man who she thought would never do it to her. A cheating man... a dark man... a man who would never be perfect...
I always wanted to be the perfect one for her. And in some cases, I was. But now... it has faded. But I will get it back... even if I have to kill a few men to gain it back. I have to show her the courage, the heart, the everything that she needs to have her come back. Maniac, Lex, Gabriel... this is not your fight to win. Maniac, Lex... this isn't your fight at all. It is all just between Karras and I. But if I have to destroyed the careers of two others to prove my point, then so be it. Everyone will say that I have no one to blame in this but myself... the blood this Sunday will show that this is not true. The blood will not be of me. It will not be of Maria. It will be of the satanic father. Gabriel, you blood will flow like that of a newly slain animal. Because that is all that you are. If I do not end your miserable little life this Sunday, all that will remain in your head at the end of the night will be suicidal memories. Maybe for once, you can spill your own blood and finally feel how it feels for yourself. Cause yourself to feel mourning... heartbreak... death... know what it tastes like. Know what it looks like. Because soon enough, you will only see me when you think these thoughts. Blood will flow...
...Sunday...bloody Sunday...
Well if you're just as I presumed
A whore in sheep's clothing
F*cking up all I do
And if so here we stop
Then never again
Will you see this in your life
A whore in sheep's clothing
F*cking up all I do
And if so here we stop
Then never again
Will you see this in your life