Post by Charity on Apr 13, 2013 14:56:45 GMT -6
I was excited, infact, I had the kind of shivers you get, when you're watching a movie, that you've seen about nine hundred and one million times, like She's All That, I had that feeling that I get everytime I watch Freddy Prince Jr run down Rachel Leigh Cook in that Airport, that makes me weep, like a fat man with a skimmed knee, because I was coming back to NCW, I was spending my summer vacation, coming back to the promotion, where the first time around, I had to try to live up to the great expectations casted over me, by my brothers shadow.
And quite frankly, in the one month I was here, I nailed it, I nailed it like the Avengers took over the Summer last year in the box office, Yeah, I didn't win the Road to The Gold Tournament, but did anyone really expect me too? considering I have as about as much of experience in the ring, then Seth Rogen has doing Dramatic acting.
But I was saying, like Oh My God, Yeah, that's what girls do, You know, us really dorky but hot chicks do, Yeah, we say that, while bouncing around in our bra and panties, hitting each other with pillows, I was totally excited....
Then Jerky McJerk Face, had to go and do that...
My stupid brother had to go and suffer a stroke.
I guess the first person I should mention would be Jenny from the Block, our Division Warrior and Champion, I remember you Jennifer, I remember fightning you in my hometown of Toronto, in perhaps what was the greatest night of my young career, hearing 24,000 fans, chanting my name, while booing you back to the states, You were a champion with honor back then, thru a delusional moody female, who stood by, and watch her own flesh and blood, be manhandled by your.....Well I don't know, did you and Xander, get married, I kinda stopped watching back then, since I had school, so I couldn't tell you, what exactly happened, I just knew back then, you came at me, Sis....I remember your assanine comments about the Miami Dolphins, or something like that....I really had no idea what nonsense you were sprouting then, considering it was about the Dolphins, I assume it meant losing....
Yes, you heard me....Just because my Brother is a diehard Miami Dolphins fan, doesn't mean I am, as I'm sure you're not a Jets fan....are you? I mean, people who live in New York, aren't even Jets fan, plus I cheer for a team, who can actually win, actually has a Quarterback and a proven winner as a coach....
The New England Patriots.
The world must be turning on it's axis now, that a member of the Helms family, is a die-hard Patriots fan, and why not....Three Rings in ten years, Five AFC Championships, and winners of nine of the last ten AFC East crowns, what is not to love, like Tom Brady, and his amazing smile and hair, Gronk and his countless Endzone Spikes, and the fact, that I get to see my brother weep, twice a season, for the past 3 years, when the Bellachek and company, manhandled the stupid Fins.
What does this have to do with anything, nothing, absoulute nothing, much like the nonsense, Jennifer will sprout, How she has legitimized the Starlet's Division and something of the sort, How you had the longest reign of all-time, since Zelda first won the belt, I'm sure it's impressive, I'm sure it's something, You and your family of ninty-seven strong ini the Williams Family, brag about, But there is just one problem...
I honestly can't remember anything you did, that made me want to go on twitter, and drop Hashtags from the high heavens, I mean, I'm sitting here, playing back the video in my head, like it was a highlight reel, and there is nothing, You getting beat by Freya, You playing second fiddle with Xander, instead of forming your own identity. and on your second reign, it's horribly clear, that the forced promos, that we all have to endure, all the puns, all the clever play on words, about cards, and how, Jacob Conway, has turned into nothing more then Helena Bonham Carter, just this time, with a horrible bleach job, and a more horrible comb-over.
I had illusions, that you would be cool, My brother and Ashlie told me, you were, I figured one day, we would sit down and discuss things, since my brother and your brother, seem to be friends, three out of the seven days of the week, before Todd goes off the handle again, takes to Twitter, and starts Trolling my brother, for no reason, But I see you now Jenny, This isn't the women who made Mercedes Vargas look foolish in the ring, this isn't the same Jenny From the Block, who took everything her sister-in-law had, and came back from more....
No, That Jenny died when Freya Kane, made her look foolish on Pay Per View, The same Jennifer Williams, who now is happy to hold a belt, to a division, that died so long ago, back when my brothers friend was running it, It's been on life support since the Awesome Regime, and now Conway, seems more then ready to let it crumple....
It's bad when the founder, the women, who made this division what it is, No longer cares about it, Sure, she's been more active in recent weeks, and even with a faction of the ability she offers in the ring, She managed to bring down you and your trio of Jacks.
You talk about being a queen, but you're merely just the pawn Jennifer, You don't think, you don't move, you don't even breathe without Jacob and Xander, telling you, it's okay, It set us back many of years, you've bought this division to the blink of existance, a Division that once, outshined the men, that was once considered to be one of the bragging points of this now dying promotion, A Division that hasn't been in this bad of shape since back in the day, when all it had was Crab Girl and Turbo Tits McGee, aka Nasty McShanky Shank now known as my former sister in law.
Look around Jennifer, seriously look around, Are you really happy with what you let this division become, Are you happy, being the queen in a division, where no one, cares who you are, or what you've done for the past three months, I've defeated you before Jennifer, I defeated you, when you were being considered as a possible equal to Zelda, now if it came down to us, I know, I could easily crush you, like the Avengers wiped the floor with the Cinutari, Just look in the mirror, Go take a page out of your sister playbook, and look in the mirror.
What do you see?
A Women, who hasn't even bothered to visit her best friend and Agent, since she started carrying the Anti-Christ of my brothers seed?
A Women who stands in Triad, holding the big shiny thing on her shoulder, but yet, is not even considered the True Apple of the man eye, she is trying to applease?
I don't know who you are anymore Jennifer, But I don't even care, Evolution has a way of taking care of theses things, I'm sure you're find a Quarter, rolling toward a ledge of a cliff, and you will foolishly leap after it...
I can hope.
But in reality, I'll settle with watching you lose the only thing that makes people care about you.
Your Championship.
Then there is Kathleen Conway, a women, who I never met, yet I know everything about, How can something like this be? Well, considering, everytime I watch a promo, I feel like I'm watching the notebook, or a creepy love story, written by a thirty year old man, who has way too much time on his hands, and hasn't gotten laid in a really long time, Except instead of Ryan Gosling, We get a fourty year old man, and his wife, Who looks like Sonya Blade....No, not the one that married that Tennis guy, but the one, that starred in the horrible sequal, that killed not only the movie franchise, but nearly the Video Game itself.
I just have to ask you something Kat, can I call you Kat, while putting a pretty little bow in your hair, and watch you drink milk from a tiny saucer, while seeing you bounce around the ring, all nimbly bimbly.
How is it, You've been here the longest out of anyone in this match, How come, you've never managed to win the big one? I hear you might be the toughest bitch, this promotion has ever seen, considering that you once took a Piledriver from Angel, and were the first women ever, to feel the wrath of the Bioshock, a good four years before the one heard around the World, when my brother did it to Kelly a few months ago. How is it, that a women, who did all that, who took a blow to the head, and had a I.Q of about Seven, believed she was a Cat, grew a Vocabulary, and became the near Genius, still hasn't managed to find a way to win the big one?
I mean, You sleep with the boss, You're married to him, You have his children, are considered the most in-love couple, NCW has ever seen, Believe me, I know, We have to see it, nearly twice a week from what I hear around the Water Cooler, and yet, are you have is a Tag Title reign under your belt, a belt, that you attained by beating a simple Street Brawler for, the same Street Brawler, who teamed with a women she hated, and managed to defeat you, at your second attempt to reclaim your gold.
You know what your problem is Kat?
You just don't have that many tricks, in your wheelhouse, Infact, You're a one trick Pony, Nobody really considers you a Wrestler, You're simply, just a mother and wife. There is nothing wrong with that, One day, I hope to be both of thoses, I mean I'm happy, You and Jake manage to find new ways to show each other how much you care for the other. I wish I could have that one day, not now, I'm Young, and just trying to finish up my soon to be up coming final year in College, Thru I do have my eye on someone in this promotion, maybe one day, I will muster up the college to say something to him, maybe one Day, He will ask me out, and maybe one day, we will grow to what, You and Jacob have.
I envy your marriage.
But that about as far as it goes Kathleen, You're just so out of place here, Even with the odds stacked in your camps favor, that the belt, will still stay within one of your ranks, does it burn, that Jacob himself, doesn't view you, as a Wrestler either? Your own husband, really has no faith in you, to take the brass ring, and try to make a name for yourself, I know it's hard to stomach, that you will always be just the shadow of the man, who thinks himself to be the most Evil being, this promotion has ever seen, yet always fall flat on his mug, the moment, he lies the chips on the table, My brother once made a suggestion to your Husband, and Jake simply ignorged it, I know my brother sprouts nonsense all the time, but I think it really would help, and maybe you can take my advise, which you won't, because I'm just a twenty year old wet behind the ears rookie, who shares some DNA with the greatest high-flyer this promotion has ever seen.
Evolve Kat.
Jacob calls himself the Apex of Evolution, thru the only real claim to that name, he even has, is that he hasn't managed to break his hip, in his old age, Jacob is a freak a nature, no doubt, but there is more then just having a body of a twenty year old, and huge vocabulary and a arsenal of puns at your disposal, It's about changing the landscape, going beyond your own limitations, finding a new way to connect with the fans.
Your verbal Fellatio of your husband, isn't getting over, We are tried of it, I've been back like a totaly of ninety seconds, and I already feel the urge to vomit up my Roman Needles, I ate a hour ago. A Mother and a Wife, isn't going to be able to walk into the most sinister match NCW has ever had, and walk out as a Gladiator, No, You need to become a Warrior, You need to grow a huge set of balls, and swing them around, You need to get off your husband, and onto a bowflex, because if you don't Conway, I'm sure you will figure out, what your husband learned a long time ago.
A Conway will never beat a Helms or a Knite.
And Sadly, for you....There is one of each standing before you, So do something, Change Your Game, bring upon the Winds Of Change, because if you don't, the best you can do is, Prey for a miricle, that your Husband other Queen, manages to get lucky, once again.
That move me to Emma, It's been a really long time Emma, I see, that you've managed to claim another chance at becoming Starlet's World Champion again. I never got to tell you, that I had alot of fun in our first encounter, and I thank you, for showing me what this business was all about, and making me wanting to come back and share a part of my brother's life, that normally I had no interest in doing in the first place.
But since my first match, alot has changed, You went from a Freedom Fighter, fighting for a cause, fighting for the division you loved so dearly into nothing more then a Uncle Tom, serving the very man, I know deep down you hate.
Which makes me ask?
Are you just that scared of Jacob Conway?
Or do you just see no value in yourself anymore?
I guess I could be to blame for that, It has to be hard, being a former World Champion, and getting outclassed by a Inexperienced rookie, who had about three matches under her belt, before being signed to this promotion, to face you in the First Round of the Road To The Gold Tournament, and seeing how far you have fallen from Grace, knowing you lost to a rookie, It must of strung quite a bit, I sure, deep down, it made you questioned yourself, Am I even in the right line of work?
It has to suck, and I feel sorry if my debut, somehow made you feel that way Emma, Truth is, I don't deserve to be here, I don't deserve the chance to fight for the Starlet's Championship, I don't deserve the honor to compete in the first and only Colosseum Match meant for us, I don't deserve this, to be apart of history, I know why I'm here, You don't have to bother saying it, I know I'm only in this match, because my brother suffered a stroke a few days ago, and NCW felt sorry for me, maybe they are hoping for some devine miricle, some heartfelt, feel good story, where just days removed from my brother nearly dying for this company, That I manage to do what I have no place to do, call myself a Champion.
I don't deserve that, I'm not ready.
And you clearly don't deserve this fate, You've been given Emma, THe Fate of having to serve a man, I know deep down you hate, having to be forced to smile at his self arrogance, You're a Fighter Emma, not a hired thug, You deserve better then this, and once again, I'm sorry if me defeating you, caused you to question yourself, to wonder your self worth, You're a former Champion, who has fallen into the grips of the very man, she loathes.
Not onlt that, You have become a women, who has become obsessed with defeating Zelda knite, It's sad really, how each week, you throw her name around, hoping to gain the Ire of my Cousin, and for what? Is that what you need Emma? To be humbled by Zelda once again in front of millions? You can't even stand on your own two feet, how to you expect to be that, which can't be beaten? It's sad, how you beat on your biggest drum, scream at the top of your lungs, and are a former Champion, and Zelda doesn't even consider you a Challenge.
It's not going to happen, Not unless, you somehow manage to win this match, which Jacob sure isn't going to allow you to do, I'm sure he's given you your orders to Protect Kat, and ensure her or Jennifer take home the gold tomorrow night, Well if I was you Emma, I would say, To the Hell with that, I would tell Conway to shove it up his self rightous ass, Bring back the Queen of Extreme, show us, She still does exist, show us, it's not just some fancy self-dubbed nickname, Because Quite Frankly Emma.
The Emma Danielson that exist right now, Couldn't stand toe to toe with another women, let alone five of them, So Wake the Hell Up, Get your Crap Together Emma, Knock Conway on her ass, Throw Jennifer from her throne, Step on her throat, look down upon her, See the fear in her eyes, and smile....
And Tell That Bitch to Brace Herself.....Because WINTER IS COMING!
I could continue you, but I'm going to do the right thing, I'm going to end this promo now, Why? Because unlike Kathleen, I don't feel the need to blow my entire load on one promo, and have to rely on some sappy Character Development to get me thru the entire second one, because there will be nothing else to say to your opponents, I could talk more about Jennifer, Emma and Kathleen, But I said enough, and clearly, I got better things to do, I'll get to Jazzy B and Zelda in due time, quite frankly, I'm going to have something better to do, then to Paraphase Four Promos into one final promo.
What could be more important then that?
Well, How about making sure my brother is still alive, How about being by his side, How about hoping that he gets his wish, of his Niece, actually taking time out of her busy schedule to come visit him, which to the point, She's failed to do....He misses you Zelda, He misses your entire Family, I hope, that the next time, we see me, I can hug you, that I can see a smile upon his face, to know you showed up, or have you suddenly gotten too cool for school Zelda....Show up Sydney, he really wants to see you.[/f
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Last Sunday
{The scene opens up backstage where we see Charity standing around, her moussy brown hair, sitting in front of her face, as she is seen talking to Rob Diamond}
You're really nothing like your brother?
Can't say that I am.
I mean, like when I heard Trent had a sister, I was like, whoa, I can't wait to see, how well she handles a lightsaber...
Suddenly Charity slaps Rob across the face.
What the Hell? I didn't say anything wrong.....I didn't tell you to SUCK IT!
{Charity becomes more angered and kicks Rob Diamond in the shin}
Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you, I just wanted to have a lightsaber dual with you, maybe discuss the current state of DC Comics.
{Charity is getting more angered}
I don't want to see or touch your penis.
I never said that, You're like fourteen, I'm not trying to hit you up on Facebook, to met up with you, or anything like that, I seen what happens to guys who do that, They get tackled by Cops named Jason, and publically ridiculed by people on our forums.
{Rob looks at the camera and smiles}
No, I just considered since you were Trent's sister, I figured he showed you how to handle a lightsaber.
{Charity goes to slap Rob again, who this time sees it coming and backs up}
Why do you keep doing that?
My Brother used to say the same thing as a teenager to Mercedes, He would be like....Her Flatchest, Wanna see my lightsaber, then he would throw it down....I didn't want to see my brother Penis, and I don't want to see yours.
Oh, THat's why....No I didn't mean that, and wait a second....
What?
In that Mental Flashback, Mercedes had no tits as a Teenager?
Yeah, She did.....Wait.....How did you see that?
{Diamond lets out a evil Dominicus like laugh|
I
I got my ways.....
{Suddenly Steve Awesome comes into view, and see Rob, as the two member of the better version of Infamous, that didn't contain a gay man, and a man, that we couldn't hate more, even if he were Gay, bump fists}
What's up man?
Nothing Much, just talking to Trent's siter.
Wait, Trent has a sister?
Yeah?
Does she handle a lightsaber?
{Rob simply backs away as suddenly, Charity kicks Steve in the shin}
What the hell....
I'm SO ****ING TIRED OF PEOPLE ASKING ME THAT QUESTION.
{Charty is fuming by this point, when suddenly at the end of the frame, Andrew Jacobsen walks by, as suddenly the scene goes into a freeze motion, as Jacobsen suddenly has grown 80's Styled Feathered Hair, As he whips it around in slow-motion, as Meatloaf's I would do anything for love, plays in the background, Jacobsen flips the hair again, as Charity's eyes, are now animated to look like Giant Japanese Girl school-girl eyes, as Steve looks at Jacobsen, then at Charity, and begins to think of a scenrio, which we get a glimpse inside Steve's mind, where He appears, dressed like Hercules, and pretends to have Sex with Charity, while Jacobsen watches, when suddenly, Mandi Matthews, jumps into the picture and hits Steve in the head with a Baseball Bat....Steve rethinks the scenrio, and comes up with the idea to possibly introduce his son to Trent's sister, As suddenly, the bubble closes, as Trent comes up into the scene}
Dude, Where you been man, I've been trying to find you, I know I was running late, but our match is in a few minutes.
Trent looks Pale, His hair more messy then it usually is.
I'm here man, sorry, I was telling Spike it was good to see him again, You know try to bury the hatchet between us.
Bury The Hatchet?
{Suddenly We get another throught bubble from Steve Awesome, with him once again, dressed up like Hercule's, except his Penis is replaced by a Giant Axe, as he runs into a huge crowd of girls, before Rob snaps his fingers}
You got to stop doing that.
Yeah, So you ready to kick some Aussie Ass?
Trent rests his head against the wall....
Yeah, I'll be ready.
You really don't look well brother, You okay?
I'm fine Sis, Just some bad Mexican Food.
Dude, Mexican Food, before a Tag Match, Seriously, If you **** yourself jumping off the top rope, This will be the last time we team together….
I’ll be fine Steve, I’m Trent Helms, nothing can get to me.
Well outside of a Stroke, Mild Heart Condition, Stress causing your blood pressure to sky-rocket, and limpness in your right hand.
What did you say Sister?
Sorry, got ahead of myself, But I’ll continue that story a different time.
ont]
And quite frankly, in the one month I was here, I nailed it, I nailed it like the Avengers took over the Summer last year in the box office, Yeah, I didn't win the Road to The Gold Tournament, but did anyone really expect me too? considering I have as about as much of experience in the ring, then Seth Rogen has doing Dramatic acting.
But I was saying, like Oh My God, Yeah, that's what girls do, You know, us really dorky but hot chicks do, Yeah, we say that, while bouncing around in our bra and panties, hitting each other with pillows, I was totally excited....
Then Jerky McJerk Face, had to go and do that...
My stupid brother had to go and suffer a stroke.
I guess the first person I should mention would be Jenny from the Block, our Division Warrior and Champion, I remember you Jennifer, I remember fightning you in my hometown of Toronto, in perhaps what was the greatest night of my young career, hearing 24,000 fans, chanting my name, while booing you back to the states, You were a champion with honor back then, thru a delusional moody female, who stood by, and watch her own flesh and blood, be manhandled by your.....Well I don't know, did you and Xander, get married, I kinda stopped watching back then, since I had school, so I couldn't tell you, what exactly happened, I just knew back then, you came at me, Sis....I remember your assanine comments about the Miami Dolphins, or something like that....I really had no idea what nonsense you were sprouting then, considering it was about the Dolphins, I assume it meant losing....
Yes, you heard me....Just because my Brother is a diehard Miami Dolphins fan, doesn't mean I am, as I'm sure you're not a Jets fan....are you? I mean, people who live in New York, aren't even Jets fan, plus I cheer for a team, who can actually win, actually has a Quarterback and a proven winner as a coach....
The New England Patriots.
The world must be turning on it's axis now, that a member of the Helms family, is a die-hard Patriots fan, and why not....Three Rings in ten years, Five AFC Championships, and winners of nine of the last ten AFC East crowns, what is not to love, like Tom Brady, and his amazing smile and hair, Gronk and his countless Endzone Spikes, and the fact, that I get to see my brother weep, twice a season, for the past 3 years, when the Bellachek and company, manhandled the stupid Fins.
What does this have to do with anything, nothing, absoulute nothing, much like the nonsense, Jennifer will sprout, How she has legitimized the Starlet's Division and something of the sort, How you had the longest reign of all-time, since Zelda first won the belt, I'm sure it's impressive, I'm sure it's something, You and your family of ninty-seven strong ini the Williams Family, brag about, But there is just one problem...
I honestly can't remember anything you did, that made me want to go on twitter, and drop Hashtags from the high heavens, I mean, I'm sitting here, playing back the video in my head, like it was a highlight reel, and there is nothing, You getting beat by Freya, You playing second fiddle with Xander, instead of forming your own identity. and on your second reign, it's horribly clear, that the forced promos, that we all have to endure, all the puns, all the clever play on words, about cards, and how, Jacob Conway, has turned into nothing more then Helena Bonham Carter, just this time, with a horrible bleach job, and a more horrible comb-over.
I had illusions, that you would be cool, My brother and Ashlie told me, you were, I figured one day, we would sit down and discuss things, since my brother and your brother, seem to be friends, three out of the seven days of the week, before Todd goes off the handle again, takes to Twitter, and starts Trolling my brother, for no reason, But I see you now Jenny, This isn't the women who made Mercedes Vargas look foolish in the ring, this isn't the same Jenny From the Block, who took everything her sister-in-law had, and came back from more....
No, That Jenny died when Freya Kane, made her look foolish on Pay Per View, The same Jennifer Williams, who now is happy to hold a belt, to a division, that died so long ago, back when my brothers friend was running it, It's been on life support since the Awesome Regime, and now Conway, seems more then ready to let it crumple....
It's bad when the founder, the women, who made this division what it is, No longer cares about it, Sure, she's been more active in recent weeks, and even with a faction of the ability she offers in the ring, She managed to bring down you and your trio of Jacks.
You talk about being a queen, but you're merely just the pawn Jennifer, You don't think, you don't move, you don't even breathe without Jacob and Xander, telling you, it's okay, It set us back many of years, you've bought this division to the blink of existance, a Division that once, outshined the men, that was once considered to be one of the bragging points of this now dying promotion, A Division that hasn't been in this bad of shape since back in the day, when all it had was Crab Girl and Turbo Tits McGee, aka Nasty McShanky Shank now known as my former sister in law.
Look around Jennifer, seriously look around, Are you really happy with what you let this division become, Are you happy, being the queen in a division, where no one, cares who you are, or what you've done for the past three months, I've defeated you before Jennifer, I defeated you, when you were being considered as a possible equal to Zelda, now if it came down to us, I know, I could easily crush you, like the Avengers wiped the floor with the Cinutari, Just look in the mirror, Go take a page out of your sister playbook, and look in the mirror.
What do you see?
A Women, who hasn't even bothered to visit her best friend and Agent, since she started carrying the Anti-Christ of my brothers seed?
A Women who stands in Triad, holding the big shiny thing on her shoulder, but yet, is not even considered the True Apple of the man eye, she is trying to applease?
I don't know who you are anymore Jennifer, But I don't even care, Evolution has a way of taking care of theses things, I'm sure you're find a Quarter, rolling toward a ledge of a cliff, and you will foolishly leap after it...
I can hope.
But in reality, I'll settle with watching you lose the only thing that makes people care about you.
Your Championship.
Then there is Kathleen Conway, a women, who I never met, yet I know everything about, How can something like this be? Well, considering, everytime I watch a promo, I feel like I'm watching the notebook, or a creepy love story, written by a thirty year old man, who has way too much time on his hands, and hasn't gotten laid in a really long time, Except instead of Ryan Gosling, We get a fourty year old man, and his wife, Who looks like Sonya Blade....No, not the one that married that Tennis guy, but the one, that starred in the horrible sequal, that killed not only the movie franchise, but nearly the Video Game itself.
I just have to ask you something Kat, can I call you Kat, while putting a pretty little bow in your hair, and watch you drink milk from a tiny saucer, while seeing you bounce around the ring, all nimbly bimbly.
How is it, You've been here the longest out of anyone in this match, How come, you've never managed to win the big one? I hear you might be the toughest bitch, this promotion has ever seen, considering that you once took a Piledriver from Angel, and were the first women ever, to feel the wrath of the Bioshock, a good four years before the one heard around the World, when my brother did it to Kelly a few months ago. How is it, that a women, who did all that, who took a blow to the head, and had a I.Q of about Seven, believed she was a Cat, grew a Vocabulary, and became the near Genius, still hasn't managed to find a way to win the big one?
I mean, You sleep with the boss, You're married to him, You have his children, are considered the most in-love couple, NCW has ever seen, Believe me, I know, We have to see it, nearly twice a week from what I hear around the Water Cooler, and yet, are you have is a Tag Title reign under your belt, a belt, that you attained by beating a simple Street Brawler for, the same Street Brawler, who teamed with a women she hated, and managed to defeat you, at your second attempt to reclaim your gold.
You know what your problem is Kat?
You just don't have that many tricks, in your wheelhouse, Infact, You're a one trick Pony, Nobody really considers you a Wrestler, You're simply, just a mother and wife. There is nothing wrong with that, One day, I hope to be both of thoses, I mean I'm happy, You and Jake manage to find new ways to show each other how much you care for the other. I wish I could have that one day, not now, I'm Young, and just trying to finish up my soon to be up coming final year in College, Thru I do have my eye on someone in this promotion, maybe one day, I will muster up the college to say something to him, maybe one Day, He will ask me out, and maybe one day, we will grow to what, You and Jacob have.
I envy your marriage.
But that about as far as it goes Kathleen, You're just so out of place here, Even with the odds stacked in your camps favor, that the belt, will still stay within one of your ranks, does it burn, that Jacob himself, doesn't view you, as a Wrestler either? Your own husband, really has no faith in you, to take the brass ring, and try to make a name for yourself, I know it's hard to stomach, that you will always be just the shadow of the man, who thinks himself to be the most Evil being, this promotion has ever seen, yet always fall flat on his mug, the moment, he lies the chips on the table, My brother once made a suggestion to your Husband, and Jake simply ignorged it, I know my brother sprouts nonsense all the time, but I think it really would help, and maybe you can take my advise, which you won't, because I'm just a twenty year old wet behind the ears rookie, who shares some DNA with the greatest high-flyer this promotion has ever seen.
Evolve Kat.
Jacob calls himself the Apex of Evolution, thru the only real claim to that name, he even has, is that he hasn't managed to break his hip, in his old age, Jacob is a freak a nature, no doubt, but there is more then just having a body of a twenty year old, and huge vocabulary and a arsenal of puns at your disposal, It's about changing the landscape, going beyond your own limitations, finding a new way to connect with the fans.
Your verbal Fellatio of your husband, isn't getting over, We are tried of it, I've been back like a totaly of ninety seconds, and I already feel the urge to vomit up my Roman Needles, I ate a hour ago. A Mother and a Wife, isn't going to be able to walk into the most sinister match NCW has ever had, and walk out as a Gladiator, No, You need to become a Warrior, You need to grow a huge set of balls, and swing them around, You need to get off your husband, and onto a bowflex, because if you don't Conway, I'm sure you will figure out, what your husband learned a long time ago.
A Conway will never beat a Helms or a Knite.
And Sadly, for you....There is one of each standing before you, So do something, Change Your Game, bring upon the Winds Of Change, because if you don't, the best you can do is, Prey for a miricle, that your Husband other Queen, manages to get lucky, once again.
That move me to Emma, It's been a really long time Emma, I see, that you've managed to claim another chance at becoming Starlet's World Champion again. I never got to tell you, that I had alot of fun in our first encounter, and I thank you, for showing me what this business was all about, and making me wanting to come back and share a part of my brother's life, that normally I had no interest in doing in the first place.
But since my first match, alot has changed, You went from a Freedom Fighter, fighting for a cause, fighting for the division you loved so dearly into nothing more then a Uncle Tom, serving the very man, I know deep down you hate.
Which makes me ask?
Are you just that scared of Jacob Conway?
Or do you just see no value in yourself anymore?
I guess I could be to blame for that, It has to be hard, being a former World Champion, and getting outclassed by a Inexperienced rookie, who had about three matches under her belt, before being signed to this promotion, to face you in the First Round of the Road To The Gold Tournament, and seeing how far you have fallen from Grace, knowing you lost to a rookie, It must of strung quite a bit, I sure, deep down, it made you questioned yourself, Am I even in the right line of work?
It has to suck, and I feel sorry if my debut, somehow made you feel that way Emma, Truth is, I don't deserve to be here, I don't deserve the chance to fight for the Starlet's Championship, I don't deserve the honor to compete in the first and only Colosseum Match meant for us, I don't deserve this, to be apart of history, I know why I'm here, You don't have to bother saying it, I know I'm only in this match, because my brother suffered a stroke a few days ago, and NCW felt sorry for me, maybe they are hoping for some devine miricle, some heartfelt, feel good story, where just days removed from my brother nearly dying for this company, That I manage to do what I have no place to do, call myself a Champion.
I don't deserve that, I'm not ready.
And you clearly don't deserve this fate, You've been given Emma, THe Fate of having to serve a man, I know deep down you hate, having to be forced to smile at his self arrogance, You're a Fighter Emma, not a hired thug, You deserve better then this, and once again, I'm sorry if me defeating you, caused you to question yourself, to wonder your self worth, You're a former Champion, who has fallen into the grips of the very man, she loathes.
Not onlt that, You have become a women, who has become obsessed with defeating Zelda knite, It's sad really, how each week, you throw her name around, hoping to gain the Ire of my Cousin, and for what? Is that what you need Emma? To be humbled by Zelda once again in front of millions? You can't even stand on your own two feet, how to you expect to be that, which can't be beaten? It's sad, how you beat on your biggest drum, scream at the top of your lungs, and are a former Champion, and Zelda doesn't even consider you a Challenge.
It's not going to happen, Not unless, you somehow manage to win this match, which Jacob sure isn't going to allow you to do, I'm sure he's given you your orders to Protect Kat, and ensure her or Jennifer take home the gold tomorrow night, Well if I was you Emma, I would say, To the Hell with that, I would tell Conway to shove it up his self rightous ass, Bring back the Queen of Extreme, show us, She still does exist, show us, it's not just some fancy self-dubbed nickname, Because Quite Frankly Emma.
The Emma Danielson that exist right now, Couldn't stand toe to toe with another women, let alone five of them, So Wake the Hell Up, Get your Crap Together Emma, Knock Conway on her ass, Throw Jennifer from her throne, Step on her throat, look down upon her, See the fear in her eyes, and smile....
And Tell That Bitch to Brace Herself.....Because WINTER IS COMING!
I could continue you, but I'm going to do the right thing, I'm going to end this promo now, Why? Because unlike Kathleen, I don't feel the need to blow my entire load on one promo, and have to rely on some sappy Character Development to get me thru the entire second one, because there will be nothing else to say to your opponents, I could talk more about Jennifer, Emma and Kathleen, But I said enough, and clearly, I got better things to do, I'll get to Jazzy B and Zelda in due time, quite frankly, I'm going to have something better to do, then to Paraphase Four Promos into one final promo.
What could be more important then that?
Well, How about making sure my brother is still alive, How about being by his side, How about hoping that he gets his wish, of his Niece, actually taking time out of her busy schedule to come visit him, which to the point, She's failed to do....He misses you Zelda, He misses your entire Family, I hope, that the next time, we see me, I can hug you, that I can see a smile upon his face, to know you showed up, or have you suddenly gotten too cool for school Zelda....Show up Sydney, he really wants to see you.[/f
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Last Sunday
{The scene opens up backstage where we see Charity standing around, her moussy brown hair, sitting in front of her face, as she is seen talking to Rob Diamond}
You're really nothing like your brother?
Can't say that I am.
I mean, like when I heard Trent had a sister, I was like, whoa, I can't wait to see, how well she handles a lightsaber...
Suddenly Charity slaps Rob across the face.
What the Hell? I didn't say anything wrong.....I didn't tell you to SUCK IT!
{Charity becomes more angered and kicks Rob Diamond in the shin}
Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you, I just wanted to have a lightsaber dual with you, maybe discuss the current state of DC Comics.
{Charity is getting more angered}
I don't want to see or touch your penis.
I never said that, You're like fourteen, I'm not trying to hit you up on Facebook, to met up with you, or anything like that, I seen what happens to guys who do that, They get tackled by Cops named Jason, and publically ridiculed by people on our forums.
{Rob looks at the camera and smiles}
No, I just considered since you were Trent's sister, I figured he showed you how to handle a lightsaber.
{Charity goes to slap Rob again, who this time sees it coming and backs up}
Why do you keep doing that?
My Brother used to say the same thing as a teenager to Mercedes, He would be like....Her Flatchest, Wanna see my lightsaber, then he would throw it down....I didn't want to see my brother Penis, and I don't want to see yours.
Oh, THat's why....No I didn't mean that, and wait a second....
What?
In that Mental Flashback, Mercedes had no tits as a Teenager?
Yeah, She did.....Wait.....How did you see that?
{Diamond lets out a evil Dominicus like laugh|
I
I got my ways.....
{Suddenly Steve Awesome comes into view, and see Rob, as the two member of the better version of Infamous, that didn't contain a gay man, and a man, that we couldn't hate more, even if he were Gay, bump fists}
What's up man?
Nothing Much, just talking to Trent's siter.
Wait, Trent has a sister?
Yeah?
Does she handle a lightsaber?
{Rob simply backs away as suddenly, Charity kicks Steve in the shin}
What the hell....
I'm SO ****ING TIRED OF PEOPLE ASKING ME THAT QUESTION.
{Charty is fuming by this point, when suddenly at the end of the frame, Andrew Jacobsen walks by, as suddenly the scene goes into a freeze motion, as Jacobsen suddenly has grown 80's Styled Feathered Hair, As he whips it around in slow-motion, as Meatloaf's I would do anything for love, plays in the background, Jacobsen flips the hair again, as Charity's eyes, are now animated to look like Giant Japanese Girl school-girl eyes, as Steve looks at Jacobsen, then at Charity, and begins to think of a scenrio, which we get a glimpse inside Steve's mind, where He appears, dressed like Hercules, and pretends to have Sex with Charity, while Jacobsen watches, when suddenly, Mandi Matthews, jumps into the picture and hits Steve in the head with a Baseball Bat....Steve rethinks the scenrio, and comes up with the idea to possibly introduce his son to Trent's sister, As suddenly, the bubble closes, as Trent comes up into the scene}
Dude, Where you been man, I've been trying to find you, I know I was running late, but our match is in a few minutes.
Trent looks Pale, His hair more messy then it usually is.
I'm here man, sorry, I was telling Spike it was good to see him again, You know try to bury the hatchet between us.
Bury The Hatchet?
{Suddenly We get another throught bubble from Steve Awesome, with him once again, dressed up like Hercule's, except his Penis is replaced by a Giant Axe, as he runs into a huge crowd of girls, before Rob snaps his fingers}
You got to stop doing that.
Yeah, So you ready to kick some Aussie Ass?
Trent rests his head against the wall....
Yeah, I'll be ready.
You really don't look well brother, You okay?
I'm fine Sis, Just some bad Mexican Food.
Dude, Mexican Food, before a Tag Match, Seriously, If you **** yourself jumping off the top rope, This will be the last time we team together….
I’ll be fine Steve, I’m Trent Helms, nothing can get to me.
Well outside of a Stroke, Mild Heart Condition, Stress causing your blood pressure to sky-rocket, and limpness in your right hand.
What did you say Sister?
Sorry, got ahead of myself, But I’ll continue that story a different time.
ont]