Post by Steve Awesome on Jul 19, 2008 16:14:37 GMT -6
The sun looked like a giant red cherry that sat upon the fluffiest whipped cream clouds. Below it, sparkling like a treasure of diamonds strewn across a blue blanket, was the ocean. Huge and majestic, a never ending mass of blue and waves. In the distance you can see somebody parasailing and a little further you can see a few dolphins leap from the water into a complete black flip and land gracefully into there water home. The camera begins to pan down some and we finally see where the water meets land. Graham cracker brown sand, smooth and straight, and no rocks to hurt your feet. There was a collection of people enjoying the beach today. Girls in there bikinis, laying out on a beach towel hoping for the perfect tan. A few men stand around a grill cooking hot dogs and hamburgers all while sipping on some Budweiser and talking about how stupid there girlfriends are. There was even a fat hairy guy in a speedo completely oblivious to the level of discomfort he has added to the whole thing but won’t stop walking the beach until his metal detector finds something worth it all. Yes, this was your usual beach paradise.
Still further away, however, where the beach ends and it’s replaced by grass and earth, is where the real party was. There was a Tiki Bar serving up alcoholic beverages and playing some funky Hawaiian Luau music. We hear the giggles of a few females from off screen and the camera turns to see what the commotion was. As it turns out, there was a Jacuzzi located behind the bar and inside it was Steve Awesome. But here’s where it gets a little impressive. It wasn’t just Steve soaking away in the glory that is the hot tub. Somehow, someway he has managed to collect the girlfriends and wives of his fellow nCw roster mates and they are occupying the rest of the space in the Jacuzzi.
He has them all. Steve sat against the back wall of the tub and Megan Kane, sans pregnancy, and Shelly Taylor sat next to him. Then next to them was Amber Williams and Kelly Fox. Then there was Cari Cross, Layla, Kathy, Kelly Kaos, Roxi, Melanie Holland, and all the rest that filled in the rest of the Jacuzzi. They immediately start rubbing his bear chest and Awesome just sits back and enjoys all the extra attention. He looks around at each of the beautiful girls that has surrounded the blast of class and he develops a smile that really shows the utter bliss he has found himself in. He leans his head back and looks up to the sky.
“God. I ****ing love hotels!”
The girls giggle again as if everything Awesome said was the most hilarious thing in the world. He runs a finger through his hair and adjusts the sunglasses on his face. Afterwards, he scans the stunning beauties that surround him. With the way he seems to be grinning and the fact that this is Steve Awesome afterall, you could already tell exactly what he was thinking.
“So….uh….which one of you am I going to do it with first?”
The girls all giggle again.
Megan Kane: “You silly boy.”
Megan Kane says in her seductive voice. The one she uses in that sex tape.
Shelly Taylor: “You’re not going to be doing it with any of us.”
The news that Shelly breaks to the Awesome One was enough to kill the man where he sat. His jaw drops and he removes his sunglasses.
“What the hell? I’m not?”
Megan Kane: “Nope. Your not going to be doing a single thing stevie wevie.”
He always hated that name, but somehow it sounded hot coming from Megan Kane.
Shelly Taylor: “Your just going to sit back and relax, while we make sure all your most wild fantasies come true. Ready girls?”
“Did I mention, I ****ing LOVE hotels?”
The girls all start to smile seductively and they move in towards Steve and he just lays back. Megan Kane starts to move in for a kiss and Awesome comes in as well but Megan suddenly grabs him by the head. She turns his head so his face is forward and for some strange reason, she starts licking the side of his face.
Fade Out
Fade In.
We snap back to the confides of reality and we spot the real location of everybody’s favorite. Being licked into a state of consciousness by a seventy five pound sheep dog. He suddenly snaps awake in a state of shock and frantically looks in every direction. Once the giant let down that is knowing that it was all a dream completely sinks in he starts shake his head.
“It was a dream.”
He said in an somber voice that almost rivals Sexy Jason’s when he finds out that there will be women at the same party he’s going to be attending. He reaches up onto the side of his face and slowly drags his palm down it, removing what seems like a sea of sheep dog saliva. He turns and looks at the humongous dog and scowls at it.
“Rufus…why? I don’t wake you up when your dreaming of Lassie, the dog from I am Legend,, Paris Hilton or any of the other famous bitches you get a doggy chub for. So why? Why ruin the best damn dream of my life?”
Rufus the sheep dog just looks at him in that stupid dog stare. His tongue hanging out of its mouth and dripping onto the hard wood floor below. After realizing that it’s really just pointless to argue with a dog, he just rolls his eyes and lays back down on top of the dirty red comforter.
“Seriously! Don’t you know Megan likes it in the pooper?”
Steve pushes the dogs face away from himself with his palm in frustration and buries his face in his palms. At this point, Layla steps into the door frame. When the sight of Steve Awesome reached her vision it seemed like the whole world didn’t matter to her anymore. Like everything else just ceased to exist and in that moment she felt like she was weightless. Her eyes light up like the star on Christmas morning, a smile overtakes her face and she can’t help but to take a deep breath just to help herself catch up.
Layla coasts near the bed and takes a seat next to her man. She fingers the line between his pecks and kisses his neck. She knew that she loved him, it wasn’t that hard for her to figure out. With everything else going on this was her one constant. The love that she shared with Steve. She was ecstatic just at the thought of being able to spend another day with him.
“Good. I’m glad your up.”
She said in a soft caring voice. She begins twirling his long black hair in her fingers. Awesome removes his palms from his face and looks up at the women that loves him with a most unnecessary look.
“Reluctantly!”
He said with a sneer.
“The furry sofa over there woke me up. Came in and started licking my face like she paid for me or something.”
Layla giggles and motions for Rufus to come. She rubs him behind the ears and wiggles her nose on his.
“Awh, it’s just because she likes you. Yes she does. Yes she does. Doesn’t she?”
She says in that same high pitched, broken English that everybody reserves for small animals and baby’s. You know what I’m talking about. Awesome grimaces in embarrassment and quickly motions for Layla to stop.
“Baby, stop! It’s a dog…it can’t understand you. Even if you think your talking to it in it’s own special language. Seriously, you could be saying anything. Like…..”
He starts talking in that voice again.
“I’m gonna blow your face off with a shotgun. Yes I am. Yes I will, isn’t that right girl?”
Obliviously, the sheep dog starts to wag its tail excitedly.
“Gee, what’s got into you?”
Layla asks as Steve jumps out of bed.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that you got me staying at your parents house when I should be at a hotel reaping the benefits of my growing popularity. They give people like me there own private hot tub Layla! You know how many hot girls I can fit in there? A whole bunch. But no, instead I’m stuck in a Cuban house, being choked by the fumes of Old Spice and tormented by the sound of your mother trying to sing, and now most recently, being molested by your family ****ing pet! This isn’t an island paradise, it’s the home of the pension check.”
Layla was shocked at the outburst that was coming from Steve. Sometimes he could be so incredibly sweet and loving and then others he was….well you just witnessed it. She wipes away a tear from her eye.
“I’m so horribly sorry Steve! I guess I forgot how it’s all about you in every single way, during every single microsecond of each and every *** damn day! I guess I should know better shouldn’t I? Whenever I want something, something so small like staying at my parents for a couple days just so you can meet them, I should just think again. Shouldn’t I?”
A small pause comes from Steve followed by a short and simple nod of the head.
“Yeah, that’s right. Now your finally starting to get it. Whatever I want, I get. That’s just how it goes.”
He snaps at her, not just because its what he thought but he knew it would upset her.
“Oh and what you want is a hot tub full of girls?”
“Don’t worry, your in the hot tub too.”
Well, now Layla is past holding the tears back. She is in full blown water works now. She turns her head away from him but he could still tell and it broke his heart. She wipes her eyes again and looks at him.
“You always know what to say….”
She begins in a calm yet cold voice. Her tear filled eyes staring daggers into his heart.
“…..to just completely ruin every shred of faith I ever start to have in this working.”
The blow nearly staggered our hero although he remained painfully still. She had never said anything like that to him before so the impact those words had on him was like being hit by a freight train. When he thought about actually leaving her the asshole side of him wore off. If he cared about anything in the world he was almost positive that it was her. He couldn’t let her get away.
“I uh.....God Layla, I'm sorry. I always wind up saying the wrong things. But I can be better."
She slowly shakes her head.
"I think you need to leave."
She points toward the door without looking at Steve.
"But, I'm sorry."
"You've been sorry a little too much these days. I can't take it right anymore."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I just need some time to think. So you need to leave. Go get ready to knock them dead at Last Stand or something. Just, anywhere but here."
And with that she walks away. And for the first time in his life he actually felt......
alone.
“Just like a cold wind blowing, can’t you feel me coming for you?” Kid Rock
We open to find Steve Awesome, sitting on the ledge of a giant parking structure near D.C’s public library. Five stories up with nowhere to go but cement on the bottom and he sits, dangling his legs over the side. Flipping through a few pictures that he kept in his wallet of himself and Layla. Each one was more proof of the horrible ways that Steve would often exhibit. There was this picture from one of those photo booths and Layla is looking like she is having a great time, but Steve just looks like it’s torture for him to endure the four or five quick shots that the machine took of him. He looks up at the camera, which is magically dangling in the air in front of him. You don’t like it, go complain on the internet!
“Before I get started. Before I go on and say what it is that I need to say here tonight I have a little extra business to take care of. That business concerning my good friend Jake “The Ace” Conway. Now Ace, buddy old pal, your one of the people I can honestly say is my best friend in this business. That hasn’t changed since the beginning. Since the beginning of nCw, or since the start of our friendship back in XHF and I don’t foresee it ever changing. Hell, me and you, we might as well be brothers. Were what Brad and Spike wish they could be and were not even actual blood. We were a big deal when we were a tag team, in fact were the only tag team that matters anymore. We come together and beat The Hollands. Before the Smokin Aces reunited everyone said that they were the best team in the world. But we went all myth busters on there ass and proved everyone wrong. We became the number one team and I think we still hold that spot. The team that beat us, Trent and Adam, well we all saw what happened to that “spectacular” reign. They beat us and then as a team they faded into obscurity. Sometimes I have to be reminded that they are actually a team at all. So when I say that were the best team that nCw has to offer at this point and time there is actually some validity to it.”
“Earlier in the week, when you went with me to the doctor to get my shoulder looked at, it’s fine by the way, I may have blindsided you a little bit with that joke of mine. But see Ace, that’s all it was, nothing more that a practical joke. I guess you could say I punk’d you, Jake. I was yanking your chain, pulling your leg, tugging your beard, “****ting you” if you will. It was nothing personal and I didn’t actually mean any of it. Accidents happen bro, Adam Knite saw the Jawbreaker coming and he dodged out of the way it happens from time to time. I thought you knew that when I told you that it was just a joke.”
“But then you had to go and take it all personal. You had to open that trap of yours and unleash some **** that you called talking. With all due respect Ace, you really don’t want none of me. Sure you may have “created” the Smokin Aces, it’s the name that you chose so technically you’re the man responsible but as you know everyone else has a different opinion on the matter. But forget what everyone says Ace, it doesn’t matter which one of us is the “better” man of the team because all the things we did, we did them together. The thing that really gets to me though, the thing that irks me the most “friend” is that your so quick to threaten me. Your so quick to tell everyone that you could beat me when history will prove your point wrong for me. The one and only time we’ve ever faced each other one on one, I beat you. Remember? I’m sure you do. Your so quick to fight anybody who mentions your name, save your aggression for Adam Knite, something tells me that he is going to demand your FULL attention so don’t worry about me screwing you over. Besides, if I did ever decide to betray you, I’m a man and I’d do it to your face.”
“Now then……”
He clears his throat.
“This Sunday on Last Stand there is a lot of matches with a lot of scores to settle. The world title match for instance. Lance’s belt is on the line in a no limits ladder match against the joke, the has been, and the alien. Each man wants that precious world title so bad and for there own specific reasons. The belt means so much to the men in that match. So much so, Everyman couldn’t even concentrate on his match against Hammer last week and lost the only reason he had a chance at the belt in the first place. All because he was thinking about the title match at Last Stand. Spike hasn’t been the same since his match against Prophet a few weeks ago and it’s all because Spike needed to feed his ego and claim any and all glory that he can get his grubby hands on. Trent’s been on a tirade, pushing his small brittle little body to the max in hopes that he can finally prove his worth to everybody here. But what he doesn’t realize is that by the time he finally wins that belt his body wont be able to defend it and he’ll soon fade away just like he always does. Only one man can win the world championship this Sunday and since none of those men are me I personally don’t care.”
“Then there’s Angel vs. Xavier Williams. Oh man, can you say bad blood? I’m pretty sure that these two just flat out hate each other. And it’s not because X is black, I had to check with Angel to make sure. These two men have been fighting over the X-Division title for months. I don’t know why, considering the X-Division Championship is a title for those of you who can’t win the world title but are still better then the nitwits in the Xtreme division. No offence Ace. Nonetheless, they’ve engaged ion a bitter and bloody war over that piece of leather and tin and as if it wasn’t brutal enough, it’s a last man standing match. Last man effing standing. That match should be huge. The final encounter for each man and when it’s all said and done we will finally know who the better man is between Xavier and Angel. The answer? Steve Awesome.”
“Then…..then there’s Adam Knite vs. The Ace. Burning vs. Ortega, the Asylum match featuring Kole Kaos going up against double penetration himself. There’s other matches and there all about deciding who holds a championship, who gets a chance to fight for a championship in the near future, or solving personal grudges. But there’s one match that isn’t really about any of those things. The one match on the card that isn’t for a title, that wasn’t made to solve some budding issues between certain wrestlers. The triple threat that everyone is talking about. Steve Awesome vs. Brad Kane vs. Jack Manson. Three of arguably the best performers on the roster today, given the chance to go down to the ring and just….wrestle. To just perform in front of the crowd and the funny part about it is that a few people are actually looking forward to this match then the world title match. See, that’s called draw power folks. Someone needs to tell Everyman to look it up.”
“In that ring, I’m supposed to take on two men I know so very well. An indecisive blabbering ass hat and a man that apparently has more bark then bite. Brad, you’ve been wondering why this whole rivalry between us started, how it started and really I’m not sure dude. I think we just sort of got booked against each other one day back in XHF and since then the rest has been history. You know what it is Brad? It’s because were so ultimately different. You were brought up in such a horrible way. The foster homes, the drugs the alcohol, the deaths and any and every thing you’ve ever blogged about. You’ve waged this war throughout your whole life to get where you are. While me on the other hand, have never really endured much of a hardship in my life. My mom had a brief run in with drugs and we lived in a bad neighborhood for awhile but nothing extreme has ever happened to me in my life. I had a loving family, I stayed in the same neighborhood, went to the same school my whole life, got good grades, excelled in sports, and I had the social confidence to become Mr. Popular in my high school. We both took two very different routes in our lives and yet we both seemed to wind up in the same exact place. We’ve both won world championships in past promotions, we both sell T-shirts, and we both have an army of fans that respect the ground we walk on. Maybe sub-consciously that fact angers you. It’s as if all the hardships you had to go through were in vein if a snotty rich kid could pull it off with ease. And it boggles my mind how a little forgotten orphan could rise above it all and make it big in a world ran by the rich. We’re perfect for each other Brad, we were made to hate each other. I’m the Joker to your Batman, the evil to your good. And I may respect what you can do in that ring and you may respect my abilities as well, but personality wise were never going to click so it will be my honor to kick you in the face so many times that your own child won’t recognize you. You know, just to keep the war alive.”
And Jack Manson. Okay, maybe there is a bit of a personal score to settle with the self-proclaimed “maniac”. We’ve all herd the story. You’ve all seen the match, you know what I mean. And it pisses me off even more that you didn’t even bother to utter even a word to me, Jack. Not even a “I’m gonna kick your ass” Steve. That’s it. That’s all you needed to say and I’d be good. Just one measly little threat, maybe a swear word or two, I’d have even accepted a “Yo Momma” joke, but you still couldn’t even grant me that. So now at Last Stand, I have to fight a guy who can’t decide if he is gonna be Reckless Jack or Brad Kane and a ****ing coward! And what’s great about beating a coward?”
“Last Stand, when we step in the ring, it wont be about a championship. Just three prize horses given the ability to run the track for the fans in attendance. I’m not going to say I’ll win because I don’t know for sure. But what I do know is that I'm Steve Awesome and you guys are Brad Kane and Jack Manson. And if that doesn't just scream match of the night I don't know what does.
At this point, Steve steps off the ledge and back down onto the ground. He walks over to a blue mustang and he gets in it and drives away.
Fade to exhaust fumes.
Still further away, however, where the beach ends and it’s replaced by grass and earth, is where the real party was. There was a Tiki Bar serving up alcoholic beverages and playing some funky Hawaiian Luau music. We hear the giggles of a few females from off screen and the camera turns to see what the commotion was. As it turns out, there was a Jacuzzi located behind the bar and inside it was Steve Awesome. But here’s where it gets a little impressive. It wasn’t just Steve soaking away in the glory that is the hot tub. Somehow, someway he has managed to collect the girlfriends and wives of his fellow nCw roster mates and they are occupying the rest of the space in the Jacuzzi.
He has them all. Steve sat against the back wall of the tub and Megan Kane, sans pregnancy, and Shelly Taylor sat next to him. Then next to them was Amber Williams and Kelly Fox. Then there was Cari Cross, Layla, Kathy, Kelly Kaos, Roxi, Melanie Holland, and all the rest that filled in the rest of the Jacuzzi. They immediately start rubbing his bear chest and Awesome just sits back and enjoys all the extra attention. He looks around at each of the beautiful girls that has surrounded the blast of class and he develops a smile that really shows the utter bliss he has found himself in. He leans his head back and looks up to the sky.
“God. I ****ing love hotels!”
The girls giggle again as if everything Awesome said was the most hilarious thing in the world. He runs a finger through his hair and adjusts the sunglasses on his face. Afterwards, he scans the stunning beauties that surround him. With the way he seems to be grinning and the fact that this is Steve Awesome afterall, you could already tell exactly what he was thinking.
“So….uh….which one of you am I going to do it with first?”
The girls all giggle again.
Megan Kane: “You silly boy.”
Megan Kane says in her seductive voice. The one she uses in that sex tape.
Shelly Taylor: “You’re not going to be doing it with any of us.”
The news that Shelly breaks to the Awesome One was enough to kill the man where he sat. His jaw drops and he removes his sunglasses.
“What the hell? I’m not?”
Megan Kane: “Nope. Your not going to be doing a single thing stevie wevie.”
He always hated that name, but somehow it sounded hot coming from Megan Kane.
Shelly Taylor: “Your just going to sit back and relax, while we make sure all your most wild fantasies come true. Ready girls?”
“Did I mention, I ****ing LOVE hotels?”
The girls all start to smile seductively and they move in towards Steve and he just lays back. Megan Kane starts to move in for a kiss and Awesome comes in as well but Megan suddenly grabs him by the head. She turns his head so his face is forward and for some strange reason, she starts licking the side of his face.
Fade Out
Fade In.
We snap back to the confides of reality and we spot the real location of everybody’s favorite. Being licked into a state of consciousness by a seventy five pound sheep dog. He suddenly snaps awake in a state of shock and frantically looks in every direction. Once the giant let down that is knowing that it was all a dream completely sinks in he starts shake his head.
“It was a dream.”
He said in an somber voice that almost rivals Sexy Jason’s when he finds out that there will be women at the same party he’s going to be attending. He reaches up onto the side of his face and slowly drags his palm down it, removing what seems like a sea of sheep dog saliva. He turns and looks at the humongous dog and scowls at it.
“Rufus…why? I don’t wake you up when your dreaming of Lassie, the dog from I am Legend,, Paris Hilton or any of the other famous bitches you get a doggy chub for. So why? Why ruin the best damn dream of my life?”
Rufus the sheep dog just looks at him in that stupid dog stare. His tongue hanging out of its mouth and dripping onto the hard wood floor below. After realizing that it’s really just pointless to argue with a dog, he just rolls his eyes and lays back down on top of the dirty red comforter.
“Seriously! Don’t you know Megan likes it in the pooper?”
Steve pushes the dogs face away from himself with his palm in frustration and buries his face in his palms. At this point, Layla steps into the door frame. When the sight of Steve Awesome reached her vision it seemed like the whole world didn’t matter to her anymore. Like everything else just ceased to exist and in that moment she felt like she was weightless. Her eyes light up like the star on Christmas morning, a smile overtakes her face and she can’t help but to take a deep breath just to help herself catch up.
Layla coasts near the bed and takes a seat next to her man. She fingers the line between his pecks and kisses his neck. She knew that she loved him, it wasn’t that hard for her to figure out. With everything else going on this was her one constant. The love that she shared with Steve. She was ecstatic just at the thought of being able to spend another day with him.
“Good. I’m glad your up.”
She said in a soft caring voice. She begins twirling his long black hair in her fingers. Awesome removes his palms from his face and looks up at the women that loves him with a most unnecessary look.
“Reluctantly!”
He said with a sneer.
“The furry sofa over there woke me up. Came in and started licking my face like she paid for me or something.”
Layla giggles and motions for Rufus to come. She rubs him behind the ears and wiggles her nose on his.
“Awh, it’s just because she likes you. Yes she does. Yes she does. Doesn’t she?”
She says in that same high pitched, broken English that everybody reserves for small animals and baby’s. You know what I’m talking about. Awesome grimaces in embarrassment and quickly motions for Layla to stop.
“Baby, stop! It’s a dog…it can’t understand you. Even if you think your talking to it in it’s own special language. Seriously, you could be saying anything. Like…..”
He starts talking in that voice again.
“I’m gonna blow your face off with a shotgun. Yes I am. Yes I will, isn’t that right girl?”
Obliviously, the sheep dog starts to wag its tail excitedly.
“Gee, what’s got into you?”
Layla asks as Steve jumps out of bed.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that you got me staying at your parents house when I should be at a hotel reaping the benefits of my growing popularity. They give people like me there own private hot tub Layla! You know how many hot girls I can fit in there? A whole bunch. But no, instead I’m stuck in a Cuban house, being choked by the fumes of Old Spice and tormented by the sound of your mother trying to sing, and now most recently, being molested by your family ****ing pet! This isn’t an island paradise, it’s the home of the pension check.”
Layla was shocked at the outburst that was coming from Steve. Sometimes he could be so incredibly sweet and loving and then others he was….well you just witnessed it. She wipes away a tear from her eye.
“I’m so horribly sorry Steve! I guess I forgot how it’s all about you in every single way, during every single microsecond of each and every *** damn day! I guess I should know better shouldn’t I? Whenever I want something, something so small like staying at my parents for a couple days just so you can meet them, I should just think again. Shouldn’t I?”
A small pause comes from Steve followed by a short and simple nod of the head.
“Yeah, that’s right. Now your finally starting to get it. Whatever I want, I get. That’s just how it goes.”
He snaps at her, not just because its what he thought but he knew it would upset her.
“Oh and what you want is a hot tub full of girls?”
“Don’t worry, your in the hot tub too.”
Well, now Layla is past holding the tears back. She is in full blown water works now. She turns her head away from him but he could still tell and it broke his heart. She wipes her eyes again and looks at him.
“You always know what to say….”
She begins in a calm yet cold voice. Her tear filled eyes staring daggers into his heart.
“…..to just completely ruin every shred of faith I ever start to have in this working.”
The blow nearly staggered our hero although he remained painfully still. She had never said anything like that to him before so the impact those words had on him was like being hit by a freight train. When he thought about actually leaving her the asshole side of him wore off. If he cared about anything in the world he was almost positive that it was her. He couldn’t let her get away.
“I uh.....God Layla, I'm sorry. I always wind up saying the wrong things. But I can be better."
She slowly shakes her head.
"I think you need to leave."
She points toward the door without looking at Steve.
"But, I'm sorry."
"You've been sorry a little too much these days. I can't take it right anymore."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I just need some time to think. So you need to leave. Go get ready to knock them dead at Last Stand or something. Just, anywhere but here."
And with that she walks away. And for the first time in his life he actually felt......
alone.
“Just like a cold wind blowing, can’t you feel me coming for you?” Kid Rock
We open to find Steve Awesome, sitting on the ledge of a giant parking structure near D.C’s public library. Five stories up with nowhere to go but cement on the bottom and he sits, dangling his legs over the side. Flipping through a few pictures that he kept in his wallet of himself and Layla. Each one was more proof of the horrible ways that Steve would often exhibit. There was this picture from one of those photo booths and Layla is looking like she is having a great time, but Steve just looks like it’s torture for him to endure the four or five quick shots that the machine took of him. He looks up at the camera, which is magically dangling in the air in front of him. You don’t like it, go complain on the internet!
“Before I get started. Before I go on and say what it is that I need to say here tonight I have a little extra business to take care of. That business concerning my good friend Jake “The Ace” Conway. Now Ace, buddy old pal, your one of the people I can honestly say is my best friend in this business. That hasn’t changed since the beginning. Since the beginning of nCw, or since the start of our friendship back in XHF and I don’t foresee it ever changing. Hell, me and you, we might as well be brothers. Were what Brad and Spike wish they could be and were not even actual blood. We were a big deal when we were a tag team, in fact were the only tag team that matters anymore. We come together and beat The Hollands. Before the Smokin Aces reunited everyone said that they were the best team in the world. But we went all myth busters on there ass and proved everyone wrong. We became the number one team and I think we still hold that spot. The team that beat us, Trent and Adam, well we all saw what happened to that “spectacular” reign. They beat us and then as a team they faded into obscurity. Sometimes I have to be reminded that they are actually a team at all. So when I say that were the best team that nCw has to offer at this point and time there is actually some validity to it.”
“Earlier in the week, when you went with me to the doctor to get my shoulder looked at, it’s fine by the way, I may have blindsided you a little bit with that joke of mine. But see Ace, that’s all it was, nothing more that a practical joke. I guess you could say I punk’d you, Jake. I was yanking your chain, pulling your leg, tugging your beard, “****ting you” if you will. It was nothing personal and I didn’t actually mean any of it. Accidents happen bro, Adam Knite saw the Jawbreaker coming and he dodged out of the way it happens from time to time. I thought you knew that when I told you that it was just a joke.”
“But then you had to go and take it all personal. You had to open that trap of yours and unleash some **** that you called talking. With all due respect Ace, you really don’t want none of me. Sure you may have “created” the Smokin Aces, it’s the name that you chose so technically you’re the man responsible but as you know everyone else has a different opinion on the matter. But forget what everyone says Ace, it doesn’t matter which one of us is the “better” man of the team because all the things we did, we did them together. The thing that really gets to me though, the thing that irks me the most “friend” is that your so quick to threaten me. Your so quick to tell everyone that you could beat me when history will prove your point wrong for me. The one and only time we’ve ever faced each other one on one, I beat you. Remember? I’m sure you do. Your so quick to fight anybody who mentions your name, save your aggression for Adam Knite, something tells me that he is going to demand your FULL attention so don’t worry about me screwing you over. Besides, if I did ever decide to betray you, I’m a man and I’d do it to your face.”
“Now then……”
He clears his throat.
“This Sunday on Last Stand there is a lot of matches with a lot of scores to settle. The world title match for instance. Lance’s belt is on the line in a no limits ladder match against the joke, the has been, and the alien. Each man wants that precious world title so bad and for there own specific reasons. The belt means so much to the men in that match. So much so, Everyman couldn’t even concentrate on his match against Hammer last week and lost the only reason he had a chance at the belt in the first place. All because he was thinking about the title match at Last Stand. Spike hasn’t been the same since his match against Prophet a few weeks ago and it’s all because Spike needed to feed his ego and claim any and all glory that he can get his grubby hands on. Trent’s been on a tirade, pushing his small brittle little body to the max in hopes that he can finally prove his worth to everybody here. But what he doesn’t realize is that by the time he finally wins that belt his body wont be able to defend it and he’ll soon fade away just like he always does. Only one man can win the world championship this Sunday and since none of those men are me I personally don’t care.”
“Then there’s Angel vs. Xavier Williams. Oh man, can you say bad blood? I’m pretty sure that these two just flat out hate each other. And it’s not because X is black, I had to check with Angel to make sure. These two men have been fighting over the X-Division title for months. I don’t know why, considering the X-Division Championship is a title for those of you who can’t win the world title but are still better then the nitwits in the Xtreme division. No offence Ace. Nonetheless, they’ve engaged ion a bitter and bloody war over that piece of leather and tin and as if it wasn’t brutal enough, it’s a last man standing match. Last man effing standing. That match should be huge. The final encounter for each man and when it’s all said and done we will finally know who the better man is between Xavier and Angel. The answer? Steve Awesome.”
“Then…..then there’s Adam Knite vs. The Ace. Burning vs. Ortega, the Asylum match featuring Kole Kaos going up against double penetration himself. There’s other matches and there all about deciding who holds a championship, who gets a chance to fight for a championship in the near future, or solving personal grudges. But there’s one match that isn’t really about any of those things. The one match on the card that isn’t for a title, that wasn’t made to solve some budding issues between certain wrestlers. The triple threat that everyone is talking about. Steve Awesome vs. Brad Kane vs. Jack Manson. Three of arguably the best performers on the roster today, given the chance to go down to the ring and just….wrestle. To just perform in front of the crowd and the funny part about it is that a few people are actually looking forward to this match then the world title match. See, that’s called draw power folks. Someone needs to tell Everyman to look it up.”
“In that ring, I’m supposed to take on two men I know so very well. An indecisive blabbering ass hat and a man that apparently has more bark then bite. Brad, you’ve been wondering why this whole rivalry between us started, how it started and really I’m not sure dude. I think we just sort of got booked against each other one day back in XHF and since then the rest has been history. You know what it is Brad? It’s because were so ultimately different. You were brought up in such a horrible way. The foster homes, the drugs the alcohol, the deaths and any and every thing you’ve ever blogged about. You’ve waged this war throughout your whole life to get where you are. While me on the other hand, have never really endured much of a hardship in my life. My mom had a brief run in with drugs and we lived in a bad neighborhood for awhile but nothing extreme has ever happened to me in my life. I had a loving family, I stayed in the same neighborhood, went to the same school my whole life, got good grades, excelled in sports, and I had the social confidence to become Mr. Popular in my high school. We both took two very different routes in our lives and yet we both seemed to wind up in the same exact place. We’ve both won world championships in past promotions, we both sell T-shirts, and we both have an army of fans that respect the ground we walk on. Maybe sub-consciously that fact angers you. It’s as if all the hardships you had to go through were in vein if a snotty rich kid could pull it off with ease. And it boggles my mind how a little forgotten orphan could rise above it all and make it big in a world ran by the rich. We’re perfect for each other Brad, we were made to hate each other. I’m the Joker to your Batman, the evil to your good. And I may respect what you can do in that ring and you may respect my abilities as well, but personality wise were never going to click so it will be my honor to kick you in the face so many times that your own child won’t recognize you. You know, just to keep the war alive.”
And Jack Manson. Okay, maybe there is a bit of a personal score to settle with the self-proclaimed “maniac”. We’ve all herd the story. You’ve all seen the match, you know what I mean. And it pisses me off even more that you didn’t even bother to utter even a word to me, Jack. Not even a “I’m gonna kick your ass” Steve. That’s it. That’s all you needed to say and I’d be good. Just one measly little threat, maybe a swear word or two, I’d have even accepted a “Yo Momma” joke, but you still couldn’t even grant me that. So now at Last Stand, I have to fight a guy who can’t decide if he is gonna be Reckless Jack or Brad Kane and a ****ing coward! And what’s great about beating a coward?”
“Last Stand, when we step in the ring, it wont be about a championship. Just three prize horses given the ability to run the track for the fans in attendance. I’m not going to say I’ll win because I don’t know for sure. But what I do know is that I'm Steve Awesome and you guys are Brad Kane and Jack Manson. And if that doesn't just scream match of the night I don't know what does.
At this point, Steve steps off the ledge and back down onto the ground. He walks over to a blue mustang and he gets in it and drives away.
Fade to exhaust fumes.