Post by The Ace on Aug 22, 2008 17:03:27 GMT -6
*The scene opens with The Ace sat at the head of a large table in an expensive finely tailored suit...*
Welcome to my private chambers nCw viewers for day two of the trial in which we hope to find out which of the four stables in New Championship Wrestling...now ordinarily cameras aren't allowed back here, but I've managed to pull strings with the Judge in this case and he has allowed you all to be a part of the proceedings as we deliberate a verdict here today...
*The Ace smirks*
As you may recall last time we saw the devastingly handsome and verile Judge, he delivered daming statements to six of the eight men involved in this case...I know, I know, I've heard the rumours too that the Judge was biased, and that the Prosecution was nothing but a damn Corporate suit...but such is the Criminal Justice System these days...nevertheless, I give you my word as Foreman of this Jury that I shall be fair, impartial and that Justice shall be served before this case is concluded...
*The Ace adjusts his tie as he settles back in his chair*
In our deliberation, I promise you we will endeavour to answer the toughest questions raised by this case, questions like 'Will AJ ever stop being predictable in what he says?' 'Does he have any new material that he hasn't recycled in the last two years?' and the even more fascinating mystery of 'Will Jack Manson be the Davey Ortega of 2008?'
*The Ace sighs and leans forward*
So without further ado, let us begin with the testimony of AJ Phoenix...once again AJ began his defense by saying that I wish I were him, the exact same thing he said about me going into that fatal four way a couple of weeks ago...what, does he honestly think the more times he says it to me that someone will actually believe him or that somehow I will break down and confess? Oh yes Mr Phoenix, you are my idol, come live with me in a little gum drop house on lollipop lane forever, AJ...
*The Ace shakes his head*
In case you didn't catch that AJ, that was sarcasm...see you want the world to believe that just because we have some history that somehow this is a case of worshipper wanting to be the idol...oh please get over yourself, really AJ...you were one opponent, one of many, you meant nothing more to me than the rest of them back then in that other place, and now here you are in nCw where quite frankly you mean even less...sure you've been X-Division Champ for a few days now, yet to hear you talk, one would think you had had a stanglehold on that entire division for months now...Steve and I are partners yes, he is like a brother to me, yet you seem to think I ride his coat tails, just like the rest of them...please AJ, don't be a sheep and fall in line with popular opinion, be brave enough to have an original thought for once, tell me something I haven't heard from greater men than yourself who, like you, insist on underestimating me...
*The Ace sighs*
Is that really too much to ask? I'll say this once again, I don't want to be you, I never have, I am doing something with my career AJ, its not my fault that it depresses you that I'm doing it whilst getting by with a little help from my friends...speaking of friends AJ, I found it touching that you were trying to defend your partner, but really I would think a man his size could do well to speak for himself...so I shall say no more to Jackhammer until he steps up to me, nor will I defend Kole, because I am sure he will address you in his own time, AJ...you can try to be funny and critique my last promo all you want, none of that will matter come Sunday...you can compare me to Paris Hilton even, from one sexy blonde to another I can see why we might appear similar, I mean here I am talking about a trial and I'm sure she knows all about jail time...but I digress, sure I've never been National Champion, neither have you, so what was your point there? You want to acuse Kole of riding Steve's coat tails too, I mean damn just how long a coat does Steve have if he is carrying both of us? You want to say Steve carried me, I could go down that road too and say Jackhammer will carry your piddly ass in this match with his strong silent approach because he has a higher ranking belt than you do, but then I didn't graduate from the AJ Phoenix school of logic so I know better...and to think people say I'm the retarded one...so really who is the fool speaking here? JustI don't try and make some clever remarks about lowering a person's IQ with my promos...and that makes me a fool does it, does it really make me untalented and unworthy yet capable of some glory? Surely that's a contradiction, but anyway...my interpretation of this Cell match is as four way tag team match, so whilst it may not be a traditional tag match, it still does not completely disprove my point about the tag team experience being an advantage in this match...let me see, what else? Oh you tried to sum up my success without doing your homework very thoroughly at all...when Steve and I lost those tag team belts after months at the top, we were screwed, furthermore I wasn't even pinned, it was the guy everybody claims to be better than me despite the fact that without me he has yet to achieve any singles success, it was Steve Awesome who took the fall...fast forward to my loss to Adam Knite, again I was screwed out of the Xtreme title by the CEO of this company because Adam had some pull with her panties...so really AJ, the question becomes not how you will remove us from the equation this Sunday, but do you dare screw us out of it? Thereby, AJ I'd say you are less a Phoenix on the rise and more a Parrot on the verge of execution...
Kole: *Off camera* Guilty...
I second that motion...at least Jackhammer has been man enough to accept the charges against him, so now we move on to the testimony of Mr Falcon...Falcon you began your case by listing my strength to be my experience, and for that you are wise, at least to some degree the others might not appreciate...but as you said experience can only take you so far, for the rest of the way I have the knowledge of how to manipulate, use and bend people and the rules my way, which is not the same as AJ liking to bend people over to be his bitch just because he thinks I'll never beat him...but I digress, if you think I care whether I have the respect or admiration of anyone in that locker-toom think again, I just go out there and try to do what needs to be done, I'm not just a performer - some dancing monkey for these people - no, I'm a Superstar...and whilst I may underestimate a man on occassion, I am hardly a man to make the same mistake twice, as I've already proven...but then you started talking about knowing the environment, and once again the strength you see in me - my experience - comes into play...in my five and a half year career, I have been in all manner of cages and cells, hell I even had my very first professional match in one...but that doesn't matter, right? As long as I know myself...and I do, but apparently the rest of you do not...and soon enough, you will all pay for such ignorance...
*The Ace sighs*
Speaking of ignorance, Falcon, for a man who claims not to have lied at all, you are awfully upset about it, as if I had somehow exposed you by calling you a liar...you want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
*The Ace smirks*
God, I've always wanted to say that, but I know what you'll say...it is I who cannot handle the truth, you'll say that you were not a liar, more a victim of circumstance, something you tried to illustrate with your nice little stuck in traffic example...and as for beating Joe, what does that have to do with this match? He's not in it, so your supposition is both wrong and misplaced...the fact is I've faced Joe in my nCw debut and it turned out to be a three way draw, who knows what the story will be next time? You say I bore you and you don't want to listen to me, and I have to say the feeling is mutual, tis is the third consecutive week I've had to listen to you ramble on like you know better than me...but the fact is neither of us really have a choice, that is the crime, that is the punishment, and whilst you may not have been a liar last week, this week you go from a victim of circumstance to just s victim of the ruthlessness of the Corporate Empire, you sir are living on a wing and a prayer...
Kole: *Off camera* Guilty...
Second...actually come to think of it, that wouldn't be such a bad name for your little tag team tandem with Angel...a man who compares me to Rose from the Golden Girls, why? I don't know, it isn't even a pop culture thing anymore, but I am familar enough with the show to see how low a man has to stoop when he can no longer argue with my words...so his wife steps in and tries to take her shots at me, why? Again she has no bearing on this match, and I'm betting you were expecting Kathy to make an appearance at this point, I asked her if she wanted to before this aired and she just laughed and said what's the point, I've taken her out before...so right now she's having her nap, so it falls to me to address your wife's little spastic fit at me...quite honestly I didn't know I got the poor girl so flustered...
*The Ace sighs*
Beauty is such a curse sometimes!
*The Ace laughs*
So Shelly, you're not a fan of my parodies, let me give it to you straight then, I'm sure you're more used to that, if your husband doesn't have the patience to deal with me now, how can he possibly deal with me at Battle Grounds? Let's look at individual wins here in nCw then shall we? Then we will see who the real moron is, your husband has never beaten me one on one even if his partner has, neither has AJ here in nCw or his partner JackHammer, Manson...erm no, Xavier...no...so despite your claims that all of these men have beaten me, know how to get the job done, and know my weaknesses, the only one that truly should claim that isn't even your husband...its that bird brain Falcon, so Angel...how does it feel to know you married a retard too? No wonder you're admitting to having a secret crush for AJ...not that I care how warm and fuzzy he makes you feel, but now that I have given my outlandish claims a little more substance maybe you'll believe them...I doubt it...but still, I know this is nCw, I know this is the place for the best of the best, we are the Corporate Empire, we are simply the best, and when you mess with the best...
Kole: *Off camera* You get sued...
*The Ace turns to Kole as the camera finely brings him into shot*
Dude, do you really think Natalya Neidhart watches this? Or Vince?
Kole: Probably not but still, we don't want the CEO screwing at us for unoriginality...
Maybe you don't, but honestly I wouldn't mind...
Kole: You're lucky Kathy's still asleep you know...
I know...now where was I? Oh yes, we are simply the best and this Sunday we will prove it to the World as the Corporate Empire has a clean sweep at Battle Grounds...is that it?
Kole: For those obsessed with wings, yeah...
I know funny isn't it? Phoenix, Falcon, Angel, all winged creatures, two of them mythical, that tells me they all want to soar to new heights at our expense, but I think they need to be reminded of the story of Icarus...it is not just pride that goes before the fall gentlemen, but also the wings...the wings of a Phoenix, the wings of a Falcon and even the wings of an Angel, who I declare to be a blitering idiot...
Kole: Guilty...
I second that...the judgement has been passed on all of you, all that remains now is the sentencing for each of you...
Kole: Well, we could talk about Social Distortion, but since both Manson and Williams have decided to play it smart and not say a word against us, I don't think there's much point....we will beat them anyway...and that gentlemen is something you can bank on...
*Kole bangs a gavel on the table as the scene cuts to static...but we hear a voice...*
Voice: Wait, guys have you seen Jack Manson's promo?
Damn it, turn that thing back on, way to ruin a decisive ending Steve!
*The scene comes back at a very pissed off Kole and Ace staring at Steve...*
So Jack decided to show up, what did he say?
Steve: Not much about you two honestly, he admitted to being scared of you once Jake, then about how he couldn't beat you just like he thought...but he now insists he's not afraid of you anymore and completely forgot to mention your reign as Xtreme Champion...
Am I supposed to fear him now?
Steve: He then went off on the typical 'you never got out of Steve's shadow' bit, he called you lazy but he recognizes your potential...
At least someone in this match does...anything else?
Steve: Not really...the usual you will still fail...except he also criticised you for looking after a retarded catwoman and your daughter instead of living up to your potential...
HE DID WHAT?
*Without waiting for an answer, The Ace stands up and grabs the gavel...*
MANSON MY BOY, YOU JUST SIGNED YOUR OWN DEATH WARRANT THIS SUNDAY!
*The Ace throws the gavel at the camera and the lens cracks before it cuts to static, this time for good...*
Welcome to my private chambers nCw viewers for day two of the trial in which we hope to find out which of the four stables in New Championship Wrestling...now ordinarily cameras aren't allowed back here, but I've managed to pull strings with the Judge in this case and he has allowed you all to be a part of the proceedings as we deliberate a verdict here today...
*The Ace smirks*
As you may recall last time we saw the devastingly handsome and verile Judge, he delivered daming statements to six of the eight men involved in this case...I know, I know, I've heard the rumours too that the Judge was biased, and that the Prosecution was nothing but a damn Corporate suit...but such is the Criminal Justice System these days...nevertheless, I give you my word as Foreman of this Jury that I shall be fair, impartial and that Justice shall be served before this case is concluded...
*The Ace adjusts his tie as he settles back in his chair*
In our deliberation, I promise you we will endeavour to answer the toughest questions raised by this case, questions like 'Will AJ ever stop being predictable in what he says?' 'Does he have any new material that he hasn't recycled in the last two years?' and the even more fascinating mystery of 'Will Jack Manson be the Davey Ortega of 2008?'
*The Ace sighs and leans forward*
So without further ado, let us begin with the testimony of AJ Phoenix...once again AJ began his defense by saying that I wish I were him, the exact same thing he said about me going into that fatal four way a couple of weeks ago...what, does he honestly think the more times he says it to me that someone will actually believe him or that somehow I will break down and confess? Oh yes Mr Phoenix, you are my idol, come live with me in a little gum drop house on lollipop lane forever, AJ...
*The Ace shakes his head*
In case you didn't catch that AJ, that was sarcasm...see you want the world to believe that just because we have some history that somehow this is a case of worshipper wanting to be the idol...oh please get over yourself, really AJ...you were one opponent, one of many, you meant nothing more to me than the rest of them back then in that other place, and now here you are in nCw where quite frankly you mean even less...sure you've been X-Division Champ for a few days now, yet to hear you talk, one would think you had had a stanglehold on that entire division for months now...Steve and I are partners yes, he is like a brother to me, yet you seem to think I ride his coat tails, just like the rest of them...please AJ, don't be a sheep and fall in line with popular opinion, be brave enough to have an original thought for once, tell me something I haven't heard from greater men than yourself who, like you, insist on underestimating me...
*The Ace sighs*
Is that really too much to ask? I'll say this once again, I don't want to be you, I never have, I am doing something with my career AJ, its not my fault that it depresses you that I'm doing it whilst getting by with a little help from my friends...speaking of friends AJ, I found it touching that you were trying to defend your partner, but really I would think a man his size could do well to speak for himself...so I shall say no more to Jackhammer until he steps up to me, nor will I defend Kole, because I am sure he will address you in his own time, AJ...you can try to be funny and critique my last promo all you want, none of that will matter come Sunday...you can compare me to Paris Hilton even, from one sexy blonde to another I can see why we might appear similar, I mean here I am talking about a trial and I'm sure she knows all about jail time...but I digress, sure I've never been National Champion, neither have you, so what was your point there? You want to acuse Kole of riding Steve's coat tails too, I mean damn just how long a coat does Steve have if he is carrying both of us? You want to say Steve carried me, I could go down that road too and say Jackhammer will carry your piddly ass in this match with his strong silent approach because he has a higher ranking belt than you do, but then I didn't graduate from the AJ Phoenix school of logic so I know better...and to think people say I'm the retarded one...so really who is the fool speaking here? JustI don't try and make some clever remarks about lowering a person's IQ with my promos...and that makes me a fool does it, does it really make me untalented and unworthy yet capable of some glory? Surely that's a contradiction, but anyway...my interpretation of this Cell match is as four way tag team match, so whilst it may not be a traditional tag match, it still does not completely disprove my point about the tag team experience being an advantage in this match...let me see, what else? Oh you tried to sum up my success without doing your homework very thoroughly at all...when Steve and I lost those tag team belts after months at the top, we were screwed, furthermore I wasn't even pinned, it was the guy everybody claims to be better than me despite the fact that without me he has yet to achieve any singles success, it was Steve Awesome who took the fall...fast forward to my loss to Adam Knite, again I was screwed out of the Xtreme title by the CEO of this company because Adam had some pull with her panties...so really AJ, the question becomes not how you will remove us from the equation this Sunday, but do you dare screw us out of it? Thereby, AJ I'd say you are less a Phoenix on the rise and more a Parrot on the verge of execution...
Kole: *Off camera* Guilty...
I second that motion...at least Jackhammer has been man enough to accept the charges against him, so now we move on to the testimony of Mr Falcon...Falcon you began your case by listing my strength to be my experience, and for that you are wise, at least to some degree the others might not appreciate...but as you said experience can only take you so far, for the rest of the way I have the knowledge of how to manipulate, use and bend people and the rules my way, which is not the same as AJ liking to bend people over to be his bitch just because he thinks I'll never beat him...but I digress, if you think I care whether I have the respect or admiration of anyone in that locker-toom think again, I just go out there and try to do what needs to be done, I'm not just a performer - some dancing monkey for these people - no, I'm a Superstar...and whilst I may underestimate a man on occassion, I am hardly a man to make the same mistake twice, as I've already proven...but then you started talking about knowing the environment, and once again the strength you see in me - my experience - comes into play...in my five and a half year career, I have been in all manner of cages and cells, hell I even had my very first professional match in one...but that doesn't matter, right? As long as I know myself...and I do, but apparently the rest of you do not...and soon enough, you will all pay for such ignorance...
*The Ace sighs*
Speaking of ignorance, Falcon, for a man who claims not to have lied at all, you are awfully upset about it, as if I had somehow exposed you by calling you a liar...you want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
*The Ace smirks*
God, I've always wanted to say that, but I know what you'll say...it is I who cannot handle the truth, you'll say that you were not a liar, more a victim of circumstance, something you tried to illustrate with your nice little stuck in traffic example...and as for beating Joe, what does that have to do with this match? He's not in it, so your supposition is both wrong and misplaced...the fact is I've faced Joe in my nCw debut and it turned out to be a three way draw, who knows what the story will be next time? You say I bore you and you don't want to listen to me, and I have to say the feeling is mutual, tis is the third consecutive week I've had to listen to you ramble on like you know better than me...but the fact is neither of us really have a choice, that is the crime, that is the punishment, and whilst you may not have been a liar last week, this week you go from a victim of circumstance to just s victim of the ruthlessness of the Corporate Empire, you sir are living on a wing and a prayer...
Kole: *Off camera* Guilty...
Second...actually come to think of it, that wouldn't be such a bad name for your little tag team tandem with Angel...a man who compares me to Rose from the Golden Girls, why? I don't know, it isn't even a pop culture thing anymore, but I am familar enough with the show to see how low a man has to stoop when he can no longer argue with my words...so his wife steps in and tries to take her shots at me, why? Again she has no bearing on this match, and I'm betting you were expecting Kathy to make an appearance at this point, I asked her if she wanted to before this aired and she just laughed and said what's the point, I've taken her out before...so right now she's having her nap, so it falls to me to address your wife's little spastic fit at me...quite honestly I didn't know I got the poor girl so flustered...
*The Ace sighs*
Beauty is such a curse sometimes!
*The Ace laughs*
So Shelly, you're not a fan of my parodies, let me give it to you straight then, I'm sure you're more used to that, if your husband doesn't have the patience to deal with me now, how can he possibly deal with me at Battle Grounds? Let's look at individual wins here in nCw then shall we? Then we will see who the real moron is, your husband has never beaten me one on one even if his partner has, neither has AJ here in nCw or his partner JackHammer, Manson...erm no, Xavier...no...so despite your claims that all of these men have beaten me, know how to get the job done, and know my weaknesses, the only one that truly should claim that isn't even your husband...its that bird brain Falcon, so Angel...how does it feel to know you married a retard too? No wonder you're admitting to having a secret crush for AJ...not that I care how warm and fuzzy he makes you feel, but now that I have given my outlandish claims a little more substance maybe you'll believe them...I doubt it...but still, I know this is nCw, I know this is the place for the best of the best, we are the Corporate Empire, we are simply the best, and when you mess with the best...
Kole: *Off camera* You get sued...
*The Ace turns to Kole as the camera finely brings him into shot*
Dude, do you really think Natalya Neidhart watches this? Or Vince?
Kole: Probably not but still, we don't want the CEO screwing at us for unoriginality...
Maybe you don't, but honestly I wouldn't mind...
Kole: You're lucky Kathy's still asleep you know...
I know...now where was I? Oh yes, we are simply the best and this Sunday we will prove it to the World as the Corporate Empire has a clean sweep at Battle Grounds...is that it?
Kole: For those obsessed with wings, yeah...
I know funny isn't it? Phoenix, Falcon, Angel, all winged creatures, two of them mythical, that tells me they all want to soar to new heights at our expense, but I think they need to be reminded of the story of Icarus...it is not just pride that goes before the fall gentlemen, but also the wings...the wings of a Phoenix, the wings of a Falcon and even the wings of an Angel, who I declare to be a blitering idiot...
Kole: Guilty...
I second that...the judgement has been passed on all of you, all that remains now is the sentencing for each of you...
Kole: Well, we could talk about Social Distortion, but since both Manson and Williams have decided to play it smart and not say a word against us, I don't think there's much point....we will beat them anyway...and that gentlemen is something you can bank on...
*Kole bangs a gavel on the table as the scene cuts to static...but we hear a voice...*
Voice: Wait, guys have you seen Jack Manson's promo?
Damn it, turn that thing back on, way to ruin a decisive ending Steve!
*The scene comes back at a very pissed off Kole and Ace staring at Steve...*
So Jack decided to show up, what did he say?
Steve: Not much about you two honestly, he admitted to being scared of you once Jake, then about how he couldn't beat you just like he thought...but he now insists he's not afraid of you anymore and completely forgot to mention your reign as Xtreme Champion...
Am I supposed to fear him now?
Steve: He then went off on the typical 'you never got out of Steve's shadow' bit, he called you lazy but he recognizes your potential...
At least someone in this match does...anything else?
Steve: Not really...the usual you will still fail...except he also criticised you for looking after a retarded catwoman and your daughter instead of living up to your potential...
HE DID WHAT?
*Without waiting for an answer, The Ace stands up and grabs the gavel...*
MANSON MY BOY, YOU JUST SIGNED YOUR OWN DEATH WARRANT THIS SUNDAY!
*The Ace throws the gavel at the camera and the lens cracks before it cuts to static, this time for good...*