Post by Steve Awesome on Sept 26, 2008 22:11:50 GMT -6
“This is how we do it.
Its Friday night, and I feel all right
The party is here on the “east” side
So I reach for my 40 and I turn it up…..”
Yeah, you’re right. That Montell Jordan song is old. It’s about thirteen years old to be exact, but it fit’s the theme of the night like a glove. The party is alive here on the Miami strip. The girls were sexy, the drinks were flowing, the bass was pumping and the fun was in the air. Everybody was dressed in the hottest styles. The girls in anything that would show extra skin and the guys in anything that would impress the girls.
Zero, our world champions official bodyguard and friend, stuck out like a soar thumb. When you saw him standing in the crowd you could spot him from the other side. Not only did he stand head and shoulders above most of the patrons of this particular club, but he dressed like a modern day cowboy. Wrangler jeans and leather boots, a red and black flannel with the sleeves cut off on top of a Molly Hatchet T-shirt and a pack of Marlboros rolled up in the sleeve of the t-shirt like a make shift pocket. Plus on top of his head was a wide brimmed cowboy hat that he never seemed to take off.
Zero weaved through the crowded dance floor, clutching an ice cold bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Well he tried to weave but he usually wound up shoving his way through in true body guard fashion. Other guys would get upset and want to fight but when they actually saw Zero plowing through more people they were usually pretty reluctant to voice there opinion.
So Zero treaded on. Forging his own path through the horny people that danced by grinding there genitals together. It wasn’t to long until he made it to the other side. Zero takes a hard guzzle from the long neck bottle he possessed before walking up to a group of ladies standing by a strange door. Zero looked them up and down. They were some of the finest chicks the Miami had. All of them in some kind of clothing that exposed more flesh then it covered. They all had the perfect bodies and the perfect looks. An excited grin appears on the lumbering rednecks face.
“Woooo-Dawggy!”
He shouts out loud with a southern twang in his voice. Although it was extremely difficult to hear over the bad nineties songs playing over the speaker.
“Look at you pretty little thangs sittin all in a row.”
All five of the girls let out an extra slutty giggle.
“He is just gonna love all ya’ll. Especially you with the great ass.”
That one giggles and takes a courtesy exposing her fleshy derriere for a brief moment.
“Okay…ladies…come with me. This is the way to the “V.I.P” party.”
Zero explains as he motions through the door with his head.
“Through this door, is where the magic happens.”
All five of these girls start to gossip a bit and fix there hair and makeup. They had to make sure they looked good for you know who.
“Follow me, ladies.”
Zero presses his palm into the door and the big metal slab slowly starts to creak open. Nobody else really notices it thanks to the loud music, but Zero motions for the girls to fill in quickly before anybody does get a peak. Once all the girls had made it in through the door, Zero took a quick glance around and then walked in it himself allowing the big door to swing closed and shut with a slam.
On the other side of the door there was a hallway. Zero lead the girls through the hallway, passed a few doors and to another room with about ten more girls standing around in it. All the girls looked pretty much the same but the room itself was amazing. It was like a mini version of the club itself! With its own private bar, a plasma screen TV, a masseuse in the corner all set up and ready to go, and even a strippers pole and stage set up in case the users want to get a little froggy.
As the girls all looked around they didn’t seem to notice the man of the hour walk in the room also. That man? Steve Awesome. He was dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a red affliction t-shirt. He had a chain that wrapped from his belt to his wallet and the silver of the chain matched his sparkling silver aviators. His black hair shined in the light of the stripper stage and when he flashed that million dollar smile of his nothing in the room seemed to shine brighter….well…except for his World Championship.
“So……”
As he began to speak he started to walk around the girls. Herding them together as if he were a sheep dog. They all seemed mesmerized by his presence. As if he were some type of rock star or movie star. Steve began to check out each of the girls that Zero brought to the back with him and he graded each of them in his head based on the most shallow of standards and policies.
“Wow Zero, good haul tonight.”
He stated while watching each of these girls do one thing after another to try and get the champs attention. None of there fathers would be proud, but there fathers weren’t here we’re they? As Steve circled the girls he didn’t find anything to distracting…until he reached a certain point. Steve’s face changed from this suave look to a face that made him look like he had just seen a ghost.
“Um….Zero….What the hell is this?”
He starts to shake his head repeatedly.
“No, no. This is wrong. It’s all wrong.”
Awesome seems to reach into the huddle of girls and what he pulls out is a another pretty blonde. Just as pretty as all the rest of the girls except that she was in a wheelchair. Zero, who had been leaning against a wall drinking his beer and looking at the ladies, notices the glare from Steve.
“You mind telling me how these “damaged goods” got mixed in with these hotties?”
Zero looked shocked. All he could do was shrug.
“I don’t know what to tell ya Steve, I found her drinking a martini at one of the tables. I thought she was just sitting down.”
Awesome shakes his head as Zero walks over and opens the room to the door. Awesome aims the heartbroken blonde towards the opening and shoves her off with a well placed boot to the back of her chair.
CRASH!
BOOM!
MEEEOW!!!
Everybody flinches when the girl lands somewhere but they seem to forget about as soon as Awesome walks over to one of the big sofas and takes a seat. He spreads his arms out.
“Come on ladies. Let’s start this party.”
The girls all head over to the sofa and the few chairs that surrounded him.
“But first…..”
The camera in the room moves from a spectator angle to directly in front of his face. You can see Steve Awesome leaning back as the four girls that surrounded him, two on each side, rub his abs and whisper things into his ear.
“Ace.”
He shakes his head as a big smiles appears on his face. He can hardly contain the laughter that’s bubbling on the tip of his tongue.
“Dude…Ace…I just wan’t to say one thing to you. Just one. No. I’m not going to go back and forth with you. I’m not going to run down every point that you made during your promo because really, they were points I already made so the people already know how I think. I’m not going to call you a nerd for coming up with the percentage of times that I got the final pin in one of our tag matches or even try to explain to you that just because I didn’t actually get the pin to win the match doesn’t mean I wasn’t the one carrying the team. If your confused, just ask one of the other wrestlers here in nCw, they’d be happy to explain it for me. I’m not going to mention the fact that you’re a moron if you think beating those names I mentioned in “tag team action” counts the same as a one on one match. Again…go ask a wrestler what that means. I’m not going to comment on your wife’s miraculous return to perfect health after being in a coma for a damn month, even though she is still ugly.”
He shakes his head.
“No. Instead. I just want to say one thing. And that thing….is thank you. Thank you Ace for proving to me and to everybody else what a complete joke you are. What a cliché you are. You don’t cut promos you just simply commentate on everybody else’s. You don’t verbally dissect anything, you just take my words and repeat them, then paint over it with the color bull****! It feels like you cut my own promo against me. Just more evidence of you wanting to be just like me. I made predictions on how you would react and you did it exactly the way I said it. Hell, I think you used my basic Ace promo guideline to help you work out the one you just made.”
Let’s see…..
There was the bad puns. Man Ace…I never ever would have thought in a million years that my real last name could sound like the bait that you fish with. HOLY CRAP YOU’RE A GENIOUS! Oh man….Like I never herd that before in my life. What’s next? You going to do a play on words where Bates sounds like Bets and you’ll tell me that “All Bates are off this Sunday”?”
“Whoops, looks like I just ruined one of the Ace’s CLEVER JOKES. Seriously, why haven’t you committed suicide yet? You know what? No. I’m not going to do this all over again. The fact remains that I’m still better than you. I’ve beaten you one on one, which should have ended the question of who was better a long ass time ago. You’re the only one who doesn’t know the answer yet. And not only have I beat you, but I’ve ran you out of a company. Spin it anyway you want to Ace, bring up as many excuses as you can, the fact remains that you quit an entire company JUST to avoid facing me. Then a few months later after you found your fresh start…away from me…I signed on the dotted line and I pinned you fair and square in the middle of the damn ring. With a roll up pin no less. Like Falcon always says….it’s YOUR JOB to kick out of that. But yet that doesn’t prove it to you? You? The man who claims he is better than Ricky Johnson or Jack Hammond or Xavier Williams because they’ve never beat you? How the hell does that work? This is your own logic here Ace, but as soon as it’s used against you, you suddenly go all noble and give those guys some credit? You use there losses to you to brag to me when you pretty much said how easy it would be to beat them in the first place. Doesn’t sound like something to really brag about to me. Your mind is confused Ace. Your grasping at straws just for a simple counter point. But you don’t have any counter points…you just contradict yourself and make yourself sound stupid.”
“You don’t say anything valid Ace. You don’t make any interesting points. You don’t do anything but prove what a waste you are. Your so bad Ace, that I almost wish I didn’t screw Angel over in the beginning because if I hadn’t he would have beat you and then I would have somebody remotely interesting to listen to. But no, I’m stuck with Mr overly dramatic. I’m stuck listening to the guy who thinks Star Trek is the best show on TV. I’m stuck listening to a guy who tries to tell me I don’t care about him when I ALREADY SAID IT! And you don’t think that if Trent Helms and Steve Awesome were a team that me and that cock stain wouldn’t have dominated this company? Give me a break. We would have whipped out our cocks and slapped the hell out of any and all who got in our way. Jesus….your actually making me wish Trent was here right now. And I hate that guy.
“So please….for the LOVE OF GOD……Go die now.”
We cut away from the scene in the club and we find ourselves in another dark room. We can’t see anything although we can hear the bouncing of springs and a bed board slapping against the wall.
“Ooh….yeah.”
The voice of Steve Awesome is herd in the dark.
“Hey what was your name again?”
The champion asks.
“Nah…never mind. I don’t really care.”
He says before she can even answer. The sounds of bouncing springs continue until the door swings open. A light from the hallway shoots into the room and you can see the head and neck of Steve Awesome turning to face its origin. He shields his eyes and calls out towards the distraction.
“Who the hell?”
It was Layla! She stood in the doorway in complete shock. She couldn’t believe what she just witnessed and she drops something at the door and runs off. Steve darts after her, but by the time he had his pants on she was gone. He walks up to the door and reaches down to the floor and picks up what had fallen. It was a pregnancy test!
Fade to positive.