Post by Lord Dominicus on Oct 29, 2008 8:21:32 GMT -6
*The camera opens on Nelly Angel in his apartment; the lights are off and he's fallen asleep on the couch and is drooling all over the arm of it. In front of him, the TV is lit up with Brad Kane's first promo still, looks like Nelly was still trying to divine some meaning from it. Suddenly the door swings open and in stumbles his brother, Randy Angel, drunk, as usual. It takes a moment for him to focus in on what's going on. Finally, his eyes meet together and find the basketball going up and down.*
Randy: Oh.....for the love of god.
*Randy turns the light on in the apartment and stumbles over to Nelly.*
Randy: Bro, bro wake up!
*He takes some well placed jabs at Nelly's kidneys, waking him up. Nelly seems surprised.*
Nelly: Oh my god! I had it! I was so close!
Randy: Dude, why are you still watching this? Jack has already put out another promo.
Nelly: He has!? Did he do anything related to the match?
Randy: Well, he didn't do anything per say, but he said a lot more.
Nelly: Alright, where's the video?
Randy: Ah, yes, see, that's where it gets a little hairy. See, it was an audio promo.
Nelly: Audio?
Randy: Yeah.
Nelly: As in, like what, an mp3 file or something?
Randy: Exactly.
Nelly: A little uninspired isn't it?
Randy: Would you rather spend the rest of the week watching him play basketball?
Nelly: Touche'. Ok, do you have the file?
Randy: Of course I do, I am the world's best manager you know.
Nelly: What was that about being a manager?
Randy: I'm drunk, I say a lot of things that don't make sense purple monkey dishwasher, oh-ho the crazy things drunk say. Anyway, follow me to the computer.
*Nelly gets up and follows Randy all over the small apartment, first into Nelly's room, then the bathroom, then a closet, during this one might note there's no room for Randy, but there is a blanket on the couch (take a guess where he sleeps), into the kitchen area, then back out to the living room next to the couch where the computer is. Keep in mind, Randy is drunk, and Nelly is patronizing him. Randy brings up youtube.com.*
Randy: Now, before we listen to this, I will say, that for the benefit of you, and the rest of the world who wants to see some action while this guy talks, I have spiced things up by putting some video to his rant against you and Jimmy Zane.
Nelly: Wow, you can do that?
Randy: All great mana- um, men can. Anyway, here it goes.
*Randy brings up a video titled "Brad Kane goes off on Nelly" and it starts playing. However, what starts playing is a music video.*
Nelly: Hey I know this song!
*This continues, and it becomes quite apparent the song is "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Randy is trying to hold in his laughter as Nelly pays close attention to the video. Nelly turns around in contemplation as it continues to play.*
Nelly: Hmmm, so Brad paid off Rick Astley to send a heartwarming message to me. Letting me know that he'll never give me up, never let me down, never desert me, never make me cry, never say goodbye, and never lie to me. So....he wants to be my tag team partner eh? Well he could have just asked.
*By this time Randy is on the floor laughing. Nelly turns around, confused.*
Nelly: What is so darn funny?
Randy: I JUST OWNED YOU! RICKROLL NELLY! RICKROLL!
Nelly: Huh?
*Randy gets up.*
Randy: Oh for the love of...you take the fun out of everything. That wasn't the real video.
Nelly: I was gonna say, because the lip syncing was like perfect.
*Randy sighs.*
Randy: Anyway, here's the real video.
*He brings up a page with the video reading "RBJWK's Audio Promo + Monkey." The camera fades as Nelly watches.*
*...It comes back right as the video finishes. Nelly laughs.*
Nelly: Haha, it's funny because the monkey threw poop.
*Suddenly Nelly does a 180 on his heel and turns to the camera, and points as he talks.*
Nelly: But do you know what's not funny? Brad Kane's words. Oh no, just because my brother made a funny video with his speech, does not take the sting out any less. Brad, you want to talk about deserving and not deserving? Ok, well let's look at the world of a man who's squandered his entire career by showing that he's absolutely uncommitted to any company for more than a few months, give or take, based usually on his push or how things are going backstage. Let's talk about a man who has taken his ball and gone home more times that anyone would care to count. You don't think people read about your "retirements" Jack? You don't think people realize what you're doing?
*Nelly starts pacing.*
Nelly: Now, the first time a guy leaves the scene in wrestling, it's kind of a sad moment, as it means that he'll never return. And sometimes, that's actually the case, and wrestling will lose someone great. It's especially fitting when someone goes out on top, but not required. But then when someone comes back, it's great. See, both times, emotions are high.
*He nods a little.*
Nelly: But...the law of diminishing returns certainly holds true with wrestling. Eventually people just stop caring and your lame attempts to draw attention to yourself go unnoticed. Why do you think you're on Wired Brad? Huh? Do you think because I don't say anything about it that I'm blind to how wrestlers are booked? You've fallen from grace Mr. Wallace. You've fallen so far from what you've been. In my last promo I talked about people who had to cross bridges. I also lightly mentioned one person who had to rebuild his. Do you know who I was talking about? You, Reckless one. See Jack, I try to be a nice guy, but I see things, I've been seeing things for years. And you're the kind of guy who's on and off. You're on and off with your friends, you're on and off with your enemies, you're on and off with your women, you're on and off with your brother, heck, you're even on and off with your name! The only reason you've kept "Kane" as your last name for this long is so that you can ride it off of your brother's accomplishments. But more importantly "Brad" or whatever you're calling yourself right now, you're on and off with companies. And everywhere you go, you end up burning your bridge at the end, only to have to beg your way back in and crawl your way back up to some decent amount of respect, and then you wig out and burn it again. So here you are Jack, here you are about to wrestle a new guy, a guy who can't seem to make it, and a guy nobody likes because he's weird and creepy, on Wired no less. And you can't complain. Because if you do, you won't get better matches and you know it. You're under the gun this time Brad, you've burned your bridge before and now you gotta rebuild it.
*Nelly turns off the TV, as it has been on all this time.*
Nelly: I don't deserve your respect eh? Well that's just fine Brad. I didn't ask for your respect. If you had been listening during my promos against Joe last week, you don't have mine either. You're little crappy "Revolution" before was just as bad as this version, the only difference was that instead of Lance Ryan it was you. It was you, and you weren't changing a darn thing, what were you doing Jack? You were doing what's best for Jack, or Brad, or whatever. You were doing what was best for you. You didn't care about the fans; you didn't care about the company. Nope, all you cared about was Reckless Brad. So why in the world would I want your respect? As far as I can tell, the only person you think deserves it is you. What you stand for Brad is yourself, and I don't like that. You're one of the cancers on wrestling that I want to eliminate. I tried to be nice before, but if you wanna talk about how you hate me, fine, I'll take the gloves off. Who does it help Brad when wrestlers play musical companies? Who does it help when a guy stops wrestling as soon as he stops getting the matches he wants? Who does it help when a guy hits a losing streak and quits? Who does it help when a guy quits and then comes back a week later? You're unpredictable, and you move around so darn much it's annoying. And why do you do it? It's all about you isn't it? It's all about what big ole BK wants. Well I'll tell you something Brad, there are millions of people, MILLIONS RIGHT NOW, who don't give a crap what you want. They want to see some good wrestling. Now either stop with that stupid, misplaced cocky attitude of yours, or take your ball, and go back to your wife and kids. We don't need you here Jack, you're getting in the way of people who really want to be here and wrestle. Not people who make groups centered around themselves, posing as revolutions to just push one guy as hard as they can. We're supposed to be making this business great. What is your contribution, huh? As far as I've seen Brad, you're a leech, and I don't care where you're a legend and where you're a bum, you'll always be a leech as far as I'm concerned. So go ahead, get mad. Beat my face in at Wired. I'll still come in next week ready to wrestle, win, lose or draw. Why? Because that's my job, and not you, or anyone else is gonna get in the way of me doing my job.
*Nelly's like really jacked up, Randy, who's moved to lounging on the couch looks up from the TV, which he's turned back on.*
Randy: Jeez dude, calm down, have a popsicle or something.
Nelly: Ooh, that's not a bad idea.
*Nelly walks into the kitchen area, takes out a popsicle, removes the wrapper and starts eating. He looks back at the camera.*
Nelly: Y'know though, Brad isn't the only one in this match looking to propel himself forward. See, two of my opponents seem to think that the company is holding them down. That because they keep getting matches they don't really want that this somehow means that members of the staff are purposefully holding them down. Now Ricky Johnson, he's had some pretty good times here. And he's very clear on his goals. He wants that gold. Not the X-Division gold however, he wants the big world title. I think at this point, Jimmy Zane will take anything he can get. Are these people being held down by the company?
*Nelly shrugs as he eats his popsicle.*
Nelly: It's not my place to say they are or aren't. All I know is this, guys, you need to have faith. Sure, maybe this week you're not getting the world title, but who knows what'll happen next week? And even if you don't get a shot at it ever, wasn't the thrill of being in the ring worth it? When you feel that crowd, hundreds of people breathing all at once, all in anticipation at the next move you're going to make. Isn't that the greatest high there is? Call me naive, but my goodness, every time I go out there, I feel like a golden god. It doesn't matter if I walk away with the win or I finish the night with a loss, it's just a great feeling to be here. You know, there's something to be said about just being included. Some people don't even get that much. I mean, look at that Russian guy I face a few weeks ago, he's not even on the cards any more. Hexx hardly ever has a match. We are so lucky that we have the opportunity to go out there every week and showcase our talents and take the people's breath away. Jimmy Zane, maybe people aren't respecting you because of your father, maybe they don't like you because you're associated with voodoo and scary clowns, or maybe....just maybe you aren't getting any respect because you don't respect this business enough yet.
*He finishes the popsicle and tosses the stick in the garbage.*
Nelly: In fact, I think that's a problem that runs through all three of my opponents this week. They always want to know what they can get out of this business. JFK, and I don't mean Mr. Karn, I mean the president once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Well boys, the same goes for wrestling. Ask not what wrestling, and nCw can do for you, ask what you can do for nCw and wrestling as a whole. Then reap the benefits of what you sow, making this company, and this sport all the better. That's what I stand for.
*Suddenly Randy's voice interjects.*
Randy: DUDE! SHUT UP! My show is on!
Nelly: ....Well, you get the picture. Nelly Angel......OUT!
*The camera then irises in on Nelly as it goes to black.*
Randy: Oh.....for the love of god.
*Randy turns the light on in the apartment and stumbles over to Nelly.*
Randy: Bro, bro wake up!
*He takes some well placed jabs at Nelly's kidneys, waking him up. Nelly seems surprised.*
Nelly: Oh my god! I had it! I was so close!
Randy: Dude, why are you still watching this? Jack has already put out another promo.
Nelly: He has!? Did he do anything related to the match?
Randy: Well, he didn't do anything per say, but he said a lot more.
Nelly: Alright, where's the video?
Randy: Ah, yes, see, that's where it gets a little hairy. See, it was an audio promo.
Nelly: Audio?
Randy: Yeah.
Nelly: As in, like what, an mp3 file or something?
Randy: Exactly.
Nelly: A little uninspired isn't it?
Randy: Would you rather spend the rest of the week watching him play basketball?
Nelly: Touche'. Ok, do you have the file?
Randy: Of course I do, I am the world's best manager you know.
Nelly: What was that about being a manager?
Randy: I'm drunk, I say a lot of things that don't make sense purple monkey dishwasher, oh-ho the crazy things drunk say. Anyway, follow me to the computer.
*Nelly gets up and follows Randy all over the small apartment, first into Nelly's room, then the bathroom, then a closet, during this one might note there's no room for Randy, but there is a blanket on the couch (take a guess where he sleeps), into the kitchen area, then back out to the living room next to the couch where the computer is. Keep in mind, Randy is drunk, and Nelly is patronizing him. Randy brings up youtube.com.*
Randy: Now, before we listen to this, I will say, that for the benefit of you, and the rest of the world who wants to see some action while this guy talks, I have spiced things up by putting some video to his rant against you and Jimmy Zane.
Nelly: Wow, you can do that?
Randy: All great mana- um, men can. Anyway, here it goes.
*Randy brings up a video titled "Brad Kane goes off on Nelly" and it starts playing. However, what starts playing is a music video.*
Nelly: Hey I know this song!
*This continues, and it becomes quite apparent the song is "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Randy is trying to hold in his laughter as Nelly pays close attention to the video. Nelly turns around in contemplation as it continues to play.*
Nelly: Hmmm, so Brad paid off Rick Astley to send a heartwarming message to me. Letting me know that he'll never give me up, never let me down, never desert me, never make me cry, never say goodbye, and never lie to me. So....he wants to be my tag team partner eh? Well he could have just asked.
*By this time Randy is on the floor laughing. Nelly turns around, confused.*
Nelly: What is so darn funny?
Randy: I JUST OWNED YOU! RICKROLL NELLY! RICKROLL!
Nelly: Huh?
*Randy gets up.*
Randy: Oh for the love of...you take the fun out of everything. That wasn't the real video.
Nelly: I was gonna say, because the lip syncing was like perfect.
*Randy sighs.*
Randy: Anyway, here's the real video.
*He brings up a page with the video reading "RBJWK's Audio Promo + Monkey." The camera fades as Nelly watches.*
*...It comes back right as the video finishes. Nelly laughs.*
Nelly: Haha, it's funny because the monkey threw poop.
*Suddenly Nelly does a 180 on his heel and turns to the camera, and points as he talks.*
Nelly: But do you know what's not funny? Brad Kane's words. Oh no, just because my brother made a funny video with his speech, does not take the sting out any less. Brad, you want to talk about deserving and not deserving? Ok, well let's look at the world of a man who's squandered his entire career by showing that he's absolutely uncommitted to any company for more than a few months, give or take, based usually on his push or how things are going backstage. Let's talk about a man who has taken his ball and gone home more times that anyone would care to count. You don't think people read about your "retirements" Jack? You don't think people realize what you're doing?
*Nelly starts pacing.*
Nelly: Now, the first time a guy leaves the scene in wrestling, it's kind of a sad moment, as it means that he'll never return. And sometimes, that's actually the case, and wrestling will lose someone great. It's especially fitting when someone goes out on top, but not required. But then when someone comes back, it's great. See, both times, emotions are high.
*He nods a little.*
Nelly: But...the law of diminishing returns certainly holds true with wrestling. Eventually people just stop caring and your lame attempts to draw attention to yourself go unnoticed. Why do you think you're on Wired Brad? Huh? Do you think because I don't say anything about it that I'm blind to how wrestlers are booked? You've fallen from grace Mr. Wallace. You've fallen so far from what you've been. In my last promo I talked about people who had to cross bridges. I also lightly mentioned one person who had to rebuild his. Do you know who I was talking about? You, Reckless one. See Jack, I try to be a nice guy, but I see things, I've been seeing things for years. And you're the kind of guy who's on and off. You're on and off with your friends, you're on and off with your enemies, you're on and off with your women, you're on and off with your brother, heck, you're even on and off with your name! The only reason you've kept "Kane" as your last name for this long is so that you can ride it off of your brother's accomplishments. But more importantly "Brad" or whatever you're calling yourself right now, you're on and off with companies. And everywhere you go, you end up burning your bridge at the end, only to have to beg your way back in and crawl your way back up to some decent amount of respect, and then you wig out and burn it again. So here you are Jack, here you are about to wrestle a new guy, a guy who can't seem to make it, and a guy nobody likes because he's weird and creepy, on Wired no less. And you can't complain. Because if you do, you won't get better matches and you know it. You're under the gun this time Brad, you've burned your bridge before and now you gotta rebuild it.
*Nelly turns off the TV, as it has been on all this time.*
Nelly: I don't deserve your respect eh? Well that's just fine Brad. I didn't ask for your respect. If you had been listening during my promos against Joe last week, you don't have mine either. You're little crappy "Revolution" before was just as bad as this version, the only difference was that instead of Lance Ryan it was you. It was you, and you weren't changing a darn thing, what were you doing Jack? You were doing what's best for Jack, or Brad, or whatever. You were doing what was best for you. You didn't care about the fans; you didn't care about the company. Nope, all you cared about was Reckless Brad. So why in the world would I want your respect? As far as I can tell, the only person you think deserves it is you. What you stand for Brad is yourself, and I don't like that. You're one of the cancers on wrestling that I want to eliminate. I tried to be nice before, but if you wanna talk about how you hate me, fine, I'll take the gloves off. Who does it help Brad when wrestlers play musical companies? Who does it help when a guy stops wrestling as soon as he stops getting the matches he wants? Who does it help when a guy hits a losing streak and quits? Who does it help when a guy quits and then comes back a week later? You're unpredictable, and you move around so darn much it's annoying. And why do you do it? It's all about you isn't it? It's all about what big ole BK wants. Well I'll tell you something Brad, there are millions of people, MILLIONS RIGHT NOW, who don't give a crap what you want. They want to see some good wrestling. Now either stop with that stupid, misplaced cocky attitude of yours, or take your ball, and go back to your wife and kids. We don't need you here Jack, you're getting in the way of people who really want to be here and wrestle. Not people who make groups centered around themselves, posing as revolutions to just push one guy as hard as they can. We're supposed to be making this business great. What is your contribution, huh? As far as I've seen Brad, you're a leech, and I don't care where you're a legend and where you're a bum, you'll always be a leech as far as I'm concerned. So go ahead, get mad. Beat my face in at Wired. I'll still come in next week ready to wrestle, win, lose or draw. Why? Because that's my job, and not you, or anyone else is gonna get in the way of me doing my job.
*Nelly's like really jacked up, Randy, who's moved to lounging on the couch looks up from the TV, which he's turned back on.*
Randy: Jeez dude, calm down, have a popsicle or something.
Nelly: Ooh, that's not a bad idea.
*Nelly walks into the kitchen area, takes out a popsicle, removes the wrapper and starts eating. He looks back at the camera.*
Nelly: Y'know though, Brad isn't the only one in this match looking to propel himself forward. See, two of my opponents seem to think that the company is holding them down. That because they keep getting matches they don't really want that this somehow means that members of the staff are purposefully holding them down. Now Ricky Johnson, he's had some pretty good times here. And he's very clear on his goals. He wants that gold. Not the X-Division gold however, he wants the big world title. I think at this point, Jimmy Zane will take anything he can get. Are these people being held down by the company?
*Nelly shrugs as he eats his popsicle.*
Nelly: It's not my place to say they are or aren't. All I know is this, guys, you need to have faith. Sure, maybe this week you're not getting the world title, but who knows what'll happen next week? And even if you don't get a shot at it ever, wasn't the thrill of being in the ring worth it? When you feel that crowd, hundreds of people breathing all at once, all in anticipation at the next move you're going to make. Isn't that the greatest high there is? Call me naive, but my goodness, every time I go out there, I feel like a golden god. It doesn't matter if I walk away with the win or I finish the night with a loss, it's just a great feeling to be here. You know, there's something to be said about just being included. Some people don't even get that much. I mean, look at that Russian guy I face a few weeks ago, he's not even on the cards any more. Hexx hardly ever has a match. We are so lucky that we have the opportunity to go out there every week and showcase our talents and take the people's breath away. Jimmy Zane, maybe people aren't respecting you because of your father, maybe they don't like you because you're associated with voodoo and scary clowns, or maybe....just maybe you aren't getting any respect because you don't respect this business enough yet.
*He finishes the popsicle and tosses the stick in the garbage.*
Nelly: In fact, I think that's a problem that runs through all three of my opponents this week. They always want to know what they can get out of this business. JFK, and I don't mean Mr. Karn, I mean the president once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Well boys, the same goes for wrestling. Ask not what wrestling, and nCw can do for you, ask what you can do for nCw and wrestling as a whole. Then reap the benefits of what you sow, making this company, and this sport all the better. That's what I stand for.
*Suddenly Randy's voice interjects.*
Randy: DUDE! SHUT UP! My show is on!
Nelly: ....Well, you get the picture. Nelly Angel......OUT!
*The camera then irises in on Nelly as it goes to black.*