Post by Chris Phere on Oct 31, 2008 11:28:09 GMT -6
<*>Chris Phere and Jimmy Zane are both seen wearing camouflage and orange. They are also carrying around a couple of rifles with them and have on nCw orange hunting hats than you can all by at nCwshop.com. Chris and Jimmy stop for a moment to talk.<*>
Chris Phere- Well Jimmy, you hear what Jack Hammer said recently?
“The Voodoo Child” Jimmy Zane- I sure did Chris, where he was talking about how this Russian Chain match is his favorite and talked about his past accomplishments and how he it is his destiny to win at Mind Games and all the new moves and the fact that he thinks that you were confused about who Vanessa is in relation to him…and blah, blah, blah, BLAH..he beat up some skinny fart of a camera man. No offense…
<*>Guy behind the camera jerks his head off of the eye lense.<*>
Camera man- None taken, I have never even heard of that guy before anyways.
Chris Phere- There is a stereo-type going around about people like Jack Hammer. Yeah, they are big, powerful, and can destroy anything in their path. But they are also stupid, slow, and fall down very hard. Jack Hammer has proven the first part of this stereo-type and at Mind Games, I prove the rest is true. I knew your second wife was Vanessa, she even dedicated the song to you that I sang because you obviously do give love a bad name. You have been married more than once, so sit down and think before you make yourself look like an ass! Then the sexually transmitted disease that was given to Matt from your ex-wife Vanessa, obviously you can add two and two and get four, right? Well, maybe not, you see Hammer the reason she had the sexually transmitted disease is because YOU gave it to her! So is this all making sense to you? Am I getting through that thick skull of yours? Hello? Earth to Hammer, do you read me? Guess nobody is home because you would rather talk about your past accomplishments and destiny. You would rather sit and watch a cameraman have sex with a “servant” of yours instead of focus in on your big match at Mind Games. Incase you didn’t realize, there is a lot more at stake in this match. It is damn time you started taking this more seriously. I am not here to talk about destiny and about what I have done in the past because that all speaks for itself. I am the most innovative wrestler in the nCw, and I adapt to ANY and ALL types of matches. Do you think my style has always been extreme? Do you think I have trained my entire life on Last Stand Matches when I beat Derek Sitar with relative ease? NO! You can ask Adam Knite, I have been one of the best high flyers this business has ever seen. I have been one of the greatest World Champions this business has ever seen, and I will once again become World Champion. Do not think for one second that the World Championship goes through you because that is wrong. You are a stepping stone for me to the top and that’s exactly where I plan to be. It was no fluke for me to win the World Championship when I did and I plan on proving it before I die. So you can pull out whatever new moves you may have for this match, I plan on countering every one of them because I am that damn good! Whether you do the new, jelly bean, roll-up, mctwist with a triple sawdoff into a back-flip and stick the landing, it doesn’t make a flying Rosie O’Donnell to me! Now that you have officially ruined what we have planned here, I am going to get back to another style that no one would think that I am used to and that’s HUNTING! Zane, what are we hunting today?
<*>Zane laughs and pats Chris on the back and then begins talking in his best imitation of an Australian voice.<*>
“The Voodoo Child” Jimmy Zane- Some may say we are looking for dingos, kangaroos, or even the fierce antelope. *Australian voice gone*But we are here in the south for the up coming pay per view, Revolution: Mind Games so it is only fitting that we hunt the white tailed deer!
Chris Phere- Of course we need to be on the look out for other, “nuisance” animals out here that might interrupt our great hunt or even cause problems for our deer here. We have our grunter, our bleat caller, we have our doe piss scent, and our odor killer spray. Looks like we are good to go, so let’s get to hunting!
<*>55 MINUTES LATER<*>
<*>Chris and Zane are both sitting on a tree log near each other and looking in opposite directions, and both begin to whisper.<*>
Chris Phere- We have been watching a big buck walk through here that should come through in another five minutes. He is a very big buck and people refer to him as the “Boone and Crockett” buck. Wait…
<*>Chris puts up the gun and looks through the scope.<*>
Chris Phere- There he is, walking this way!
<*>Zane puts up his gun to take a look and is shocked at what he sees.<*>
“The Voodoo Child” Jimmy Zane- Wow, that’s a big damn buck!
Chris Phere- We need to wait a couple of minutes for him to get a bit closer. He is walking about 300 yards away but coming towards us. I’ll shoot him when he is about 200 yards away.
<*>Chris continues to watch him through the scope and a few moments later, there is a shot that goes off and then another shot behind him from Zane. Both bring their guns down and high five each other.<*>
Chris Phere- MEAT IS ON THE GROUND!!!!
“The Voodoo Child” Jimmy Zane- I think you knocked him down on the first shot, great shot Chris!
Chris Phere- Time to go and claim our meat!
<*>Chris and Zane both begin to walk down towards where they shot the deer and both very excited about their meat. They get within about 50 yards of the fallen deer and they see horns that come way up high and then shoot outwards. The spread must be near 20 inches and the horns look to stand about 20 inches high. Chris can see 10 points on his head. All of a sudden, a strange man leaps on the deer and starts to hunch it. Chris and Zane stop in their tracks and look at each other very confused. The man continues to hunch the dead deer and starts to yell strange things out.<*>
Man Hunching Deer- No Escape! NO ESCAPE! OH YEAH, NO ESCAPE!!
<*>Chris and Zane realize who it is now as they both yell out for the man to stop. The man quickly gets up and you can tell it is a Jack Hammer Halloween costume and obviously Gib is wearing it. But Chris and Zane play along for laughs.<*>
Chris Phere- So this is what you have in mind by “no escape”? You sick freak, first you beat up horny cameramen and then you hunch a dead deer? Sounds like the kettle calling the pan black to me bud. Now our deer is infested with whatever sexually transmitted disease you may have!
<*>Gib does his best Jack Hammer voice impersonation but obviously fails.<*>
“The 80’s Icon” Gib dressed as Jack Hammer- If it makes you feel any better, it never made me get off!
<*>Zane spears the man to the ground as they begin go wrestle off of the view of the camera. Chris checks his deer, fills out the deer tag and places it on the horns of the deer and makes sure there are no semen samples left on it from him. There are none so Chris begins to smile and grabs the horns of the deer and holds it up to the camera.<*>
Chris Phere- Jack Hammer, as I have stated before, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. And come Mind Games, you will fall and the Russian Chain Match will be renamed the Carolina Chain Match and Chris Phere will be the new ruler of this match. Doesn’t matter what type of match it is, street fight, ladder match, last man standing, chain match, or pliers on a pole match where the winner pulls a tooth from the face of the loser, they are all in my back yard. They are all in my domain and they are all matches that I will come out the winner in. Zane and I call ourselves the Midnight Express, but there is something even bigger than us brewing up here. A new era is dawning where the man who gets held back and isn’t given the opportunity they’ve rightfully deserved and earned finally gets that chance by force. This isn’t the “Revolution” changing the face of the nCw, it is the ultimate under dogs! Hammer, whether we are combined with a chain or not…before this match is done and I get the victory…you will FEAR THE STRATOSPHERE!!!!
<*>Zane comes back and high fives Phere as Phere holds up the horns of his deer once more. The scene fades.<*>