Post by theonly on Oct 31, 2008 17:45:22 GMT -6
*Subtitled As: "How Can I Live?"*
Doesn't surprise me these days that people don't get me. When I get passed on the street, people see these tattoos and they think I'm sort of drug user, that I'm a worthless drain on society that supposedly made me an outcast to look like this. Just look at my chest, covered in ink. My arms are nearly covered. All I need now are a few piercings and I'll get picked up by the police because I look like the sort of person that has a dime bag in his hoodie pocket, looking for someone dumb enough to buy it and escape reality.
This tattoo obsession only started in the past year and every one of them mean something to me. From the initials of my loved ones, their names to the giant dragon on my back that started the whole thing, every single tattoo means something. I'm not an impulsive guy when I start to look like the way I do. To me, formal means not wearing a hat. Because of the way I look, people will never and can never understand who I am, no matter how well they think they know me.
Its been said by a couple of people that I don't know how to stay put in a wrestling promotion for more then a few months at a time. Won't disagree with them. I've said it before that I'm a nomadic wrestler, going from place to place when I see fit to. You see though, that's how the business worked or at least back in the Eighties when guys would move from territory to territory every few months. The old system allowed them to stay fresh by constantly reinventing themselves instead of being the same ole, same ole.
Funny though as I've only tried retirement once and that only lasted a few days. When I leave wrestling, its usually one of two things. I need to heal from all the various injuries that comes with this business or I suffered something major and needed the time off. So when people reference that I've had more then one retirement, I find it hilarious. If someone can't realize enough to know the difference between taking time off and declaring retirement, well I guess that's their problem.
Find it a little odd that someone is preaching to me about my history. Thanks, I really like the thought but I think I know what I've gone through in the business. Don't matter much to me that this is a preshow match, still a chance to wrestle regardless is it not? I've never really been one to think about my spot on the card, not like everyone else. I've tasted the curtain jerker and I've tasted the main event and everything in between. Every single second is a chance to ply my trade regardless of my spot on the card.
Those spots on the card all come with a certain price. You screw up in the main event once and it's a good possiblity you'll never end up there again. You screw up coming out to start the show, well, its back to working non televised matches for a while. Work the middle of the show and you mess up, you'll start going back down the card. The spots we get in wrestling are dependent on the wrestler, not the people determining who make the matches. You have to impress them to get that spot, not just get it because of who you worked for or who your dad might've been.
Regardless, I don't care if certain people have thought that I've burned a bridge. If I truly burned this bridge here in nCw, I wouldn't have been allowed back. Instead you are listening to me aren't you? So that bridge isn't burnt, only a little damaged. And I suppose because I happen to be a preshow match, I've fallen from grace in wrestling right? Going by your logic, I might as well shoot myself next because my bridge here is burned and I suffered a fall from grace.
Do you honestly have a brain to mouth filter Nelly or do you enjoy just going on about stuff you have no idea about? I honestly think its a little of both but that's not my place to decide. But because you've seen me for a couple of years, you think you have my life figured out to a perfect "T." I guess that I went through a divorce, got remarried, found out about my real family that I'm still trying to get to know a year and a half later, it's off and on. Once again, I don't think you have a brain to mouth filter when you speak but we all have that problem from time to time.
But how DARE you insinuate that I'm trying to ride my brother's accomplishments. I was a made wrestler before I knew Spike was my brother. I'm still made, more then you because I didn't have to get a job wrestling by blowing some fat asshole underneath a table for years. I was accomplished before you even knew me. Spent two years busting my ass to make people take notice of Brad Kane. So don't you tell me that I'm using my real last name in order to ride his name.
Amazing though Nelly that you keep on digging and digging yourself a bigger grave with each passing second. I've seen people put me down, insult my family and everything else but what you're doing, almost seems like you're shooting on me. Put yourself in my shoes Nelly. I got four kids, soon to be five and I need to make sure they got something to live on when I die. So I wrestle here, I wrestle there, I wrestle everywhere for a little bit of that green stuff. Some think its the only reason I'm still in the business, just for the money, but if that was the honest case, then why would I be using so much time talking about how wrong you are?
I never had to do some of the things I did. Do you think when I slap the fans hands on the way down to the ring, I don't respect them for voicing their opinions. Don't care much if I get booed or cheered as its a reaction, the reason why we wrestle. We put on a show for the fans and whether they boo me or cheer me, they think of something towards me. And I make DAMN sure I give them good wrestling because I try to make the way I wrestle different from most of the other boys in the back.
Suppose you'll find out what that means when I kick you in the head on Wired. I don't need flashy moves to get myself "over", not like you Nelly. I've been "over" for quite a while and I'll continue to be "over" after Wired. Don't need you trying to put that fact down because you hate me. Like I said before, we all can't get our first wrestling job by, well you know what I said already. I'm not a leech either as a leech slowly drains the blood. Seems like I'm not draining anything around these parts Nelly. Sorry kid but it looks like all your words didn't do you a damn bit of good.
Anyways I guess I should make some sort of comment about Jimmy Zane about right now. If he thinks I'm worried that his dad "whipped my ass" last year, he's mistaken. If your dad was so legendary, why didn't I ever hear about him? Kinda makes you wonder if he was a legend in his own mind and yours. I know that kids look up to their fathers, wanting to be like them and it's a great thing. If I wanted to be like my dad, I'd be dead right now almost like you Jimmy. I can hear it in your voice you want to be like your dad so much it hurts your teeth.
Its alright Jimmy, be like him. Try to be like the "legendary" Punisher. Honestly surprised you and your lot never got sued over that name but I digress. The whole fact is that I don't care if I win or lose at Wired. That's not my goal for Sunday night. My goal will be made public sometime during the night and it has nothing to do with Jimmy, Nelly or Ricky. I'm not above you three, far from it but you just aren't the focus. Mind Games, the non deserver gets singled out, one way or another.
-----
"No puedo vivir
No quiero mentir
Tu eres parte de mi"
A white hospital room is what we're looking at through the magic of the nCw see all camera. In a small bed is Lillian Kane, hooked up to a bunch of machines as Brad sits next to her, head held down as he hears the beeps from the machines. He's holding one of her hands as she looks to be completely out of it. Megan and the rest of the kids are no where to be seen, probably out in a waiting room as Brad keeps a firm grip on his daughter's hand, trying not to cry.
Lilly... You can make it through this honey, you're a Kane, you're strong...
The door swings open as in walks a doctor. He looks middle aged with a few gray hairs on his head. The name tag reads "Dr. Palmer" as he holds a chart in his hands. Brad doesn't bother to look up as the doctor begins to speak.
Its a good thing you brought your daughter in when you did Mr. Kane. Another few moments and she might've... Uh, what happened is that some fluid formed in her lungs and it was starting to cut off her air supply. We don't know what caused it so we'll keep her here for a few days to run some tests.
Brad nods his head, never bringing it up to see the doctor as a couple of tears hit the floor. Dr. Palmer nods his head as well as he leaves the room. In pops Megan now as Brad still doesn't bother to look up to see his wife by herself.
Its getting late so Freya took the girls home.
Megan looks at Brad holding Lilly's small hand as she pulls a chair up next to him. She sits as she puts her arm around her husband. He's crying now as Megan puts her head on his shoulder, trying to give him some comfort.
Everything'll be okay. She'll make it through this Brad...
He finally brings his head up as his tear soaked face has that look of anger on it.
What if she doesn't Megan? Who will be next. First my mom and dad, then my foster brother, my son and now Lilly maybe? I can't much more of this!
I know baby...
Brad lets go of Lilly's hand as he stands up.
You don't know what it's like to always be in this f*cking position! I had to go through a funeral for a kid last year and I don't wanna do it again!
Megan looks concerned about his mental well being as she stands up, trying to hug him. He pushes her away as he leaves the room, slamming the door shut. Megan sits down next to Lilly and grabs her hand, gently giving it a kiss.
I know you'll pull through this Lilly. I don't think something like this will happen to Brad again. If it does, I don't know what he'll do, I just don't. He was so messed up when your big brother died last year. I fear what would happen to him. So please, whoever is up in the heavens, let our daughter live...
We cut to Brad in the hallway, leaning up against a wall, head buried between his legs as their up near his chest.
Death is always a step behind me... Maybe it's time I try it again...
He stands up, trying to calm himself before going back into the room. Just when life seems to be going great for Brad Kane, something has to happen to screw it up...