Post by Lord Dominicus on Oct 31, 2008 21:22:04 GMT -6
*The camera opens as Nelly Angel stands outside on a cold dark night. Well, maybe it's not cold, but it is dark.*
Nelly: Hello fans, as we all know, it's Halloween time. And in the spirit of Halloween, I thought it would be fun to summon some spirits from beyond the grave. Partly because it's ultra spooky to summon things, and partly because I have no idea how to get rid of the demons in my apartment that I accidently called forth after using the Ouija board earlier this week. Either way, after some extensive work in the library, I discovered an ancient book of the dead, or darned, I can't really make out the wording. Also, none of it is in English, see?
*Nelly holds up his book which appears to have a skin cover, the characters inside are most certainly not English, but it all is thoroughly creepy. He holds up the book to himself and looks at a random page.*
Nelly: Alright, so I've never done this before, so bare with me if it doesn't work. Ok, here we go
*He begins reading.*
Nelly: Oh validus atrum senior , EGO queso vos ut erigo continuo ut ex quod haud vir agnosco. EGO excito meus muto statua , ut EGO may take suus locus , quod is mei. quoque illic es everto in meus moenia , operor quispiam super ut.
*Suddenly, lightning cracks across the sky and instantly Nelly becomes....something entirely different! Well, not entirely, his hair is now longer, but still spiked up, instead of his usual clothes he's wearing a black suit and a purple cape, and he's got a goatee. Yes Star Trek fans, he has a goatee, which means he is..........MIRROR UNIVERSE NELLY ANGEL!*
Mirror Nelly: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes! My foolish counterpart has done everything perfectly, as now the planets are aligned and I have been able to cross over into his world! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He sees the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: Ah, hello there cWn cameraman, or should I say, nCw, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He raises an eyebrow quickly, looking deep into the soul of the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: Perhaps you think I am strange? I am not strange where I come from, I am quite normal and well liked, but now I, RELENTLESS NELL, can strike fear into the hearts of your world! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Every time he laughs, lightning strikes.*
Mirror Nelly: But for now, I must go and do my thing, TO THE MALL!
*"Relentless Nell" runs off camera as the scene fades.*
*When we return, Nelly's mirror universe self is in the mall, there are people everywhere. He spies a small child and approaches the kid.*
Mirror Nelly: Ah, hello there young one, what do you have there?
*The child has an ice cream cone.*
Kid: Ice cream Mr.
Mirror Nelly: Oh, how sweet, I have a child of my own, in fact, I have TWENTY SIX! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, let me show you their pictures and prattle on about them for hours on end despite the one-dimensionality of their characters and the fact that nobody watching wrestling cares about people with families! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He whips out his wallet and sure enough, it unfolds with at least 26 different pictures.*
Mirror Nelly: Do you know why I have so many children?
Kid: Nope.
Mirror Nelly: Because my wives- yes, multiple, are the most beautiful women in the world because I decided they would be that way, and now I have sex with them ALL THE TIME! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kid: Huh?
*This sort of takes the wind out of Relentless Nell's sails. His shoulders drop as he shoots the kid an evil glaze. The kid just licks his ice cream. Then Relentless Nell knocks said ice cream to the ground, the kid looks visibly shaken, and on the verge of tears.*
Mirror Nelly: Try eating your ice cream now! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Relentless Nelly starts walking along in the mall talking to the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: Now, considering that this world is opposite of my own, I'm safe to assume that on Sunday I'm facing off against those losers Brad Kane, Ricky Johnson, and Jimmy Zane. What a sad lot they are. I mean, let's take a look at them. First of all we have Ricky Johnson. Ricky is such a sap. I mean seriously, this guy comes out every week and just says that he's happy to wrestle. WHO DOES THAT!? He doesn't care about where he is on the card, or if he ever gets a title. The guys a total loser. Not like me, Relentless Nell. Now I.....I care about where I am on the card, and this match is a joke. I should be in much better matches than this, in fact, I should be in the main event this week. It should be me going for the world title. I am after all, the greatest wrestler on the planet, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He stops.*
Mirror Nelly: .....Wait, that didn�t call for the laugh. Oh well. Then we've got Jimmy Zane. Now, Jimmy, I sort of envy him. See, he never had a father in wrestling, and he doesn't realize how hard it is when one does. My father used to wrestle, but he was bad. Like really god-awful bad. And because of that I have had to try to claw my way out of his shadow. It's because of him that I'm not getting into the world title picture. Darn him, DARN HIM TO HECK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA�..See, I'm laughing because he's dead, and probably.......IN HECK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now will be my time to rise and show everyone that I am in fact the star that I've been claiming to be for so long, eat my crap dad! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Relentless Nell sees a fake potted plant in the middle of everything, he knocks it down.*
Mirror Nelly: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EAT THAT AESTHETICS! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
*He turns back to the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: And then finally, the ever-pathetic Brad Kane. This guy has done nothing in his career, NOTHING. He just sits at a company until they finally close down, having achieved nothing, and not spreading his name anywhere. Me, I am a lot better, because I've been the champion of FIFTY DIFFERENT COMPANIES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course, this is made all the easier when my contracts have stipulations for title matches. And I still say that if I don�t get one in a month here, I shall take my leave of wCn, as this place is growing stale, just like Brad Kane's unending career. He needs to stop thinking so hard about wrestling and instead settle down with a family, like me. Oh, did I mention that I have TWENTY SIX KIDS!?
*Relentless Nell again whips out his wallet as the tons of pictures unfold.*
Mirror Nelly: GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FEAR MY GENETIC JACKHAMMERING SKILLS! I have more children than any other wrestler and that makes me way more interesting than anyone else, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Relentless Nell sees a young girl with a teddy bear. He runs up to her.*
Mirror Nelly: Ah, excuse me young girl, may I see that?
Little Girl: Sure Mr.
*She hands him the bear. He then promptly holds it up.*
Mirror Nelly: Now gaze young girl what will happen to my opponents come Sunday!
*He proceeds to tear the head off of the bear and shake both parts around a lot so the stuffing rains down everywhere.*
Mirror Nelly: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL BATHE IN THEIR STUFFING AS WELL!
*Relentless Nell then throws the bear back at the girl and walks to the exit of the mall.*
Mirror Nelly: Ok, let's go kill a hobo! Then nothing shall stop my rise to the top! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
*Suddenly though lightning strikes and Relentless Nell again becomes the normal Nelly Angel, still holding the book.*
Nelly: Whoa! What the crap happened!? I went to this other world and everyone there hated me, it was messed up, maybe it was like another country or something.
Cameraman: You wouldn't believe it if I told you, but I will anyway. You somehow called forth a mirror visage of yourself whom tried- rather pathetically to create havoc and cut a promo.
Nelly: Was it very good?
Cameraman: Not really.
Nelly: Can I cut another?
Cameraman: Ehhh, I sorta want to get home man, it's late.
Nelly: Alright, alright, lemme just say one thing.
*He looks into the camera.*
Nelly: Sunday, we will steal the show....on Wired, which is ultra impressive. So my opponents, lets blow the roof off the house and have some fun......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Lightning strikes behind Nelly as he laughs. He then stops to think.*
Nelly: I wonder if I still have the demons in my apartment. Hmmm, I should check that out.
*He starts walking off as the camera fades.*
Nelly: Hello fans, as we all know, it's Halloween time. And in the spirit of Halloween, I thought it would be fun to summon some spirits from beyond the grave. Partly because it's ultra spooky to summon things, and partly because I have no idea how to get rid of the demons in my apartment that I accidently called forth after using the Ouija board earlier this week. Either way, after some extensive work in the library, I discovered an ancient book of the dead, or darned, I can't really make out the wording. Also, none of it is in English, see?
*Nelly holds up his book which appears to have a skin cover, the characters inside are most certainly not English, but it all is thoroughly creepy. He holds up the book to himself and looks at a random page.*
Nelly: Alright, so I've never done this before, so bare with me if it doesn't work. Ok, here we go
*He begins reading.*
Nelly: Oh validus atrum senior , EGO queso vos ut erigo continuo ut ex quod haud vir agnosco. EGO excito meus muto statua , ut EGO may take suus locus , quod is mei. quoque illic es everto in meus moenia , operor quispiam super ut.
*Suddenly, lightning cracks across the sky and instantly Nelly becomes....something entirely different! Well, not entirely, his hair is now longer, but still spiked up, instead of his usual clothes he's wearing a black suit and a purple cape, and he's got a goatee. Yes Star Trek fans, he has a goatee, which means he is..........MIRROR UNIVERSE NELLY ANGEL!*
Mirror Nelly: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes! My foolish counterpart has done everything perfectly, as now the planets are aligned and I have been able to cross over into his world! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He sees the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: Ah, hello there cWn cameraman, or should I say, nCw, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He raises an eyebrow quickly, looking deep into the soul of the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: Perhaps you think I am strange? I am not strange where I come from, I am quite normal and well liked, but now I, RELENTLESS NELL, can strike fear into the hearts of your world! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Every time he laughs, lightning strikes.*
Mirror Nelly: But for now, I must go and do my thing, TO THE MALL!
*"Relentless Nell" runs off camera as the scene fades.*
*When we return, Nelly's mirror universe self is in the mall, there are people everywhere. He spies a small child and approaches the kid.*
Mirror Nelly: Ah, hello there young one, what do you have there?
*The child has an ice cream cone.*
Kid: Ice cream Mr.
Mirror Nelly: Oh, how sweet, I have a child of my own, in fact, I have TWENTY SIX! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, let me show you their pictures and prattle on about them for hours on end despite the one-dimensionality of their characters and the fact that nobody watching wrestling cares about people with families! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He whips out his wallet and sure enough, it unfolds with at least 26 different pictures.*
Mirror Nelly: Do you know why I have so many children?
Kid: Nope.
Mirror Nelly: Because my wives- yes, multiple, are the most beautiful women in the world because I decided they would be that way, and now I have sex with them ALL THE TIME! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kid: Huh?
*This sort of takes the wind out of Relentless Nell's sails. His shoulders drop as he shoots the kid an evil glaze. The kid just licks his ice cream. Then Relentless Nell knocks said ice cream to the ground, the kid looks visibly shaken, and on the verge of tears.*
Mirror Nelly: Try eating your ice cream now! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Relentless Nelly starts walking along in the mall talking to the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: Now, considering that this world is opposite of my own, I'm safe to assume that on Sunday I'm facing off against those losers Brad Kane, Ricky Johnson, and Jimmy Zane. What a sad lot they are. I mean, let's take a look at them. First of all we have Ricky Johnson. Ricky is such a sap. I mean seriously, this guy comes out every week and just says that he's happy to wrestle. WHO DOES THAT!? He doesn't care about where he is on the card, or if he ever gets a title. The guys a total loser. Not like me, Relentless Nell. Now I.....I care about where I am on the card, and this match is a joke. I should be in much better matches than this, in fact, I should be in the main event this week. It should be me going for the world title. I am after all, the greatest wrestler on the planet, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*He stops.*
Mirror Nelly: .....Wait, that didn�t call for the laugh. Oh well. Then we've got Jimmy Zane. Now, Jimmy, I sort of envy him. See, he never had a father in wrestling, and he doesn't realize how hard it is when one does. My father used to wrestle, but he was bad. Like really god-awful bad. And because of that I have had to try to claw my way out of his shadow. It's because of him that I'm not getting into the world title picture. Darn him, DARN HIM TO HECK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA�..See, I'm laughing because he's dead, and probably.......IN HECK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now will be my time to rise and show everyone that I am in fact the star that I've been claiming to be for so long, eat my crap dad! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Relentless Nell sees a fake potted plant in the middle of everything, he knocks it down.*
Mirror Nelly: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EAT THAT AESTHETICS! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
*He turns back to the camera.*
Mirror Nelly: And then finally, the ever-pathetic Brad Kane. This guy has done nothing in his career, NOTHING. He just sits at a company until they finally close down, having achieved nothing, and not spreading his name anywhere. Me, I am a lot better, because I've been the champion of FIFTY DIFFERENT COMPANIES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course, this is made all the easier when my contracts have stipulations for title matches. And I still say that if I don�t get one in a month here, I shall take my leave of wCn, as this place is growing stale, just like Brad Kane's unending career. He needs to stop thinking so hard about wrestling and instead settle down with a family, like me. Oh, did I mention that I have TWENTY SIX KIDS!?
*Relentless Nell again whips out his wallet as the tons of pictures unfold.*
Mirror Nelly: GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FEAR MY GENETIC JACKHAMMERING SKILLS! I have more children than any other wrestler and that makes me way more interesting than anyone else, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Relentless Nell sees a young girl with a teddy bear. He runs up to her.*
Mirror Nelly: Ah, excuse me young girl, may I see that?
Little Girl: Sure Mr.
*She hands him the bear. He then promptly holds it up.*
Mirror Nelly: Now gaze young girl what will happen to my opponents come Sunday!
*He proceeds to tear the head off of the bear and shake both parts around a lot so the stuffing rains down everywhere.*
Mirror Nelly: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL BATHE IN THEIR STUFFING AS WELL!
*Relentless Nell then throws the bear back at the girl and walks to the exit of the mall.*
Mirror Nelly: Ok, let's go kill a hobo! Then nothing shall stop my rise to the top! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
*Suddenly though lightning strikes and Relentless Nell again becomes the normal Nelly Angel, still holding the book.*
Nelly: Whoa! What the crap happened!? I went to this other world and everyone there hated me, it was messed up, maybe it was like another country or something.
Cameraman: You wouldn't believe it if I told you, but I will anyway. You somehow called forth a mirror visage of yourself whom tried- rather pathetically to create havoc and cut a promo.
Nelly: Was it very good?
Cameraman: Not really.
Nelly: Can I cut another?
Cameraman: Ehhh, I sorta want to get home man, it's late.
Nelly: Alright, alright, lemme just say one thing.
*He looks into the camera.*
Nelly: Sunday, we will steal the show....on Wired, which is ultra impressive. So my opponents, lets blow the roof off the house and have some fun......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Lightning strikes behind Nelly as he laughs. He then stops to think.*
Nelly: I wonder if I still have the demons in my apartment. Hmmm, I should check that out.
*He starts walking off as the camera fades.*