Post by Mike Honcho on Dec 5, 2008 22:03:02 GMT -6
The scene opens with Mike Honcho pulling up to a Chinese restaurant. The sound system in the van is blasting “Master of Puppets” as he comes to a screeching stop, taking up four parking spots in doing so. He slams the transmission into park and grabs a burlap potato sack that has seen it’s better days. He also grabs a handful of cat food and runs to the back of the restaurant. He positions himself against the dumpster nearest to the kitchen door.
He sprinkles a little bit of cat food on the ground and performs a summersault roll next to the door. He sprinkles what little cat food is left in his hand around the door and runs to the van, thinking he will be inconspicuous. He waits and waits, the elapsed time shows the sun move from east to west as several hours pass by.
The ever-persistent Honcho-Man never moves one inch during the entire elapsed time. He finally sees his target. A stray cat cautiously sneaks up to the trash dumpster and begins to eat the cat food left there by the Magic Man. Honcho very quietly sneaks out of the Honcho-Van and takes tentative steps towards the eating cat.
The cat looks up at him and he stops dead in his tracks, standing perfectly still. The cat eyes Honcho for a few moments and then continues to fest. The Honcho-Man counties to step towards the cat and is finally on top the cat. He gets the bag ready to capture the young feline before a pair of eyes and a shadowy figure appears down the side alley. A familiar voice speaks to the Magic Man and scares off the nearly captured cat.
Voice: I’ll scratch you Honcho!
Looking down the alley with a confused look
Mike: Tommy the Cat?
The man hiding in the shadows jumps out into the light and it is reviled that it is Tommy the Cat.
Tommy the Cat: What do you think you’re doing Honcho? Are you about to capture a young, innocent cat for you to abuse? That’s just sick!
Honcho: No, I was going to put this cat in a bag and then hand it to Sexy Jason so he can let the cat out of the bag and get mulled by the freaked out cat. What kind of Jeffrey Dahmer freak do you take me for?
TTC: You see Honcho; I haven’t been the same since you beat me. Now, I’m going to take your championship away from you. So you can feel the pain that I’ve been felling since that night you dropped me with the Magic Trick.
MH: No, YOU don’t get it. This is my belt. And nobody… I mean NOBODY will take it from me. If you try to take this from me, I’ll sock you right in the face!
The Cat Man springs forward in the direction of Mike. He gets within arms reach of Honcho and reaches for the belt wrapped around his waist. As his finger tips drag across the side of the belt, Honcho drops him with a haymaker right hook square in the jaw. Tommy drops like a whore at a Rolling Stones show.
The unconscious Cat Man lays motionless on the ground. Mike looks around and sees no witnesses to what had just happened. He grabs his burlap potato sack and leans over Tommy.
The scene fades
The scene reopens with Mike walking into a hotel lobby with a full potato sack slug over his shoulder with duct tape wrapped around the top of the bag. He slings it down with a thud at the front desk.
Magic Man: Excuse me ma’am, I’m looking for Sexy Jason. Is he staying here?
Front Desk Lady: I do show that somebody here is registered in that name, and he said he was expecting something. He is in room 312 on the southwest wing.
MH: Thank you kindly. I’ll just take him this package and I’ll be on my way. Thank you again.
He turns and walks away from the desk and towards Sexy Jason’s hotel room. Unfortunately for Honcho, Sexy Jason and Amber had checked out of the room two hours previously and he had already received the package he was expecting. As Mike carries the sack over his shoulder through the hotel, he gets many strange looks and the bag shakes every once in a while.
Honcho-Man finally gets to room 312 and throws the sack down in front of the door. He leaves a note on top of the sack that reads “Open Me ASAP” and runs out of the building. The new tenant in the room opens the door and sees the old burlap bag with the note. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his pocketknife.
He cuts open the bag and Tommy the Cat springs out. He looks around the place and gatherers his senesces. He finally takes off towards an exit on all fours. The startled man looks at the Cat Man running out the door, confused and pissed.
The scene fades
The scene opens again with Chad Lights standing next to Honcho. Mike has the cardboard belt draped over his shoulder and his sunglasses on.
Chad: Mike, thank you for joining me. At the Pay-Per-View pre-show, Wired, and you will have to put your unofficial championship against Sexy Jason. This isn’t your first run in with the sexiest man in nCw. What will you do differently this time to make sure that you leave Wired victorious?
MH: You see Chad, the first and only time we faced off, it was a triple threat match; when that c*ck stain, Craven Moorehead, tapped out to Jason. Jason didn’t have anything on me during that match. Now he’s trying to take the only thing that means anything to me, my title?
Do you know how long it took me to make this belt? It took me the better part of four days. It’s the single best thing in the world. In fact, Donald Trump asked me to make another one for him but I slapped his face for saying something so stupid. Why would I want to deprecate the value of the belt by making two?
It’s basic economics, supply and demand. And guess what Chad, there’s one nCw World Heavy Weight Championship of the World and only one Mike Honcho. So the supply is low, but the demand is through the roof. With all due respect, that means the value is higher then the last day of Foxes running this organization.
Lights: Are you saying you want the Foxes out of nCw?
Honcho: I said “with all due respect” so that means that they got all the respect due to them. That means I can say anything after that and not get in trouble. Read a book dumb ass.
Chad: If you say so. What do you think Kelly Fox holds in the cards for Sexy Jason? All the rumors running around have to have you a little worried.
Honcho-Man: I’m not scared. I’m sure Jason is a little freaked out after he “let Tommy the Cat out of the bag” hahahahahahaahahahahahahaahaha!
That’s when the News walks up to Honcho and whispers in his ears. Mike loudly repeats everything that News is telling him.
Sexy Jason checked out before I put the sack in front of the hotel room?
Tommy the Cat is suing me for kidnapping and abuse?
I have crabs? Oh, you were just messing with me. Oh… I really do have crabs….
Chad, I’m being advised that due to legal ramifications, I can no longer talk about anything I’ve done this week.
Lights: Any new “tricks” up your sleeve, Magic Man?
MH: The only new trick I have is if you try to take this belt from me, I’ll sock you right in the face!
The scene fades to black
He sprinkles a little bit of cat food on the ground and performs a summersault roll next to the door. He sprinkles what little cat food is left in his hand around the door and runs to the van, thinking he will be inconspicuous. He waits and waits, the elapsed time shows the sun move from east to west as several hours pass by.
The ever-persistent Honcho-Man never moves one inch during the entire elapsed time. He finally sees his target. A stray cat cautiously sneaks up to the trash dumpster and begins to eat the cat food left there by the Magic Man. Honcho very quietly sneaks out of the Honcho-Van and takes tentative steps towards the eating cat.
The cat looks up at him and he stops dead in his tracks, standing perfectly still. The cat eyes Honcho for a few moments and then continues to fest. The Honcho-Man counties to step towards the cat and is finally on top the cat. He gets the bag ready to capture the young feline before a pair of eyes and a shadowy figure appears down the side alley. A familiar voice speaks to the Magic Man and scares off the nearly captured cat.
Voice: I’ll scratch you Honcho!
Looking down the alley with a confused look
Mike: Tommy the Cat?
The man hiding in the shadows jumps out into the light and it is reviled that it is Tommy the Cat.
Tommy the Cat: What do you think you’re doing Honcho? Are you about to capture a young, innocent cat for you to abuse? That’s just sick!
Honcho: No, I was going to put this cat in a bag and then hand it to Sexy Jason so he can let the cat out of the bag and get mulled by the freaked out cat. What kind of Jeffrey Dahmer freak do you take me for?
TTC: You see Honcho; I haven’t been the same since you beat me. Now, I’m going to take your championship away from you. So you can feel the pain that I’ve been felling since that night you dropped me with the Magic Trick.
MH: No, YOU don’t get it. This is my belt. And nobody… I mean NOBODY will take it from me. If you try to take this from me, I’ll sock you right in the face!
The Cat Man springs forward in the direction of Mike. He gets within arms reach of Honcho and reaches for the belt wrapped around his waist. As his finger tips drag across the side of the belt, Honcho drops him with a haymaker right hook square in the jaw. Tommy drops like a whore at a Rolling Stones show.
The unconscious Cat Man lays motionless on the ground. Mike looks around and sees no witnesses to what had just happened. He grabs his burlap potato sack and leans over Tommy.
The scene fades
The scene reopens with Mike walking into a hotel lobby with a full potato sack slug over his shoulder with duct tape wrapped around the top of the bag. He slings it down with a thud at the front desk.
Magic Man: Excuse me ma’am, I’m looking for Sexy Jason. Is he staying here?
Front Desk Lady: I do show that somebody here is registered in that name, and he said he was expecting something. He is in room 312 on the southwest wing.
MH: Thank you kindly. I’ll just take him this package and I’ll be on my way. Thank you again.
He turns and walks away from the desk and towards Sexy Jason’s hotel room. Unfortunately for Honcho, Sexy Jason and Amber had checked out of the room two hours previously and he had already received the package he was expecting. As Mike carries the sack over his shoulder through the hotel, he gets many strange looks and the bag shakes every once in a while.
Honcho-Man finally gets to room 312 and throws the sack down in front of the door. He leaves a note on top of the sack that reads “Open Me ASAP” and runs out of the building. The new tenant in the room opens the door and sees the old burlap bag with the note. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his pocketknife.
He cuts open the bag and Tommy the Cat springs out. He looks around the place and gatherers his senesces. He finally takes off towards an exit on all fours. The startled man looks at the Cat Man running out the door, confused and pissed.
The scene fades
The scene opens again with Chad Lights standing next to Honcho. Mike has the cardboard belt draped over his shoulder and his sunglasses on.
Chad: Mike, thank you for joining me. At the Pay-Per-View pre-show, Wired, and you will have to put your unofficial championship against Sexy Jason. This isn’t your first run in with the sexiest man in nCw. What will you do differently this time to make sure that you leave Wired victorious?
MH: You see Chad, the first and only time we faced off, it was a triple threat match; when that c*ck stain, Craven Moorehead, tapped out to Jason. Jason didn’t have anything on me during that match. Now he’s trying to take the only thing that means anything to me, my title?
Do you know how long it took me to make this belt? It took me the better part of four days. It’s the single best thing in the world. In fact, Donald Trump asked me to make another one for him but I slapped his face for saying something so stupid. Why would I want to deprecate the value of the belt by making two?
It’s basic economics, supply and demand. And guess what Chad, there’s one nCw World Heavy Weight Championship of the World and only one Mike Honcho. So the supply is low, but the demand is through the roof. With all due respect, that means the value is higher then the last day of Foxes running this organization.
Lights: Are you saying you want the Foxes out of nCw?
Honcho: I said “with all due respect” so that means that they got all the respect due to them. That means I can say anything after that and not get in trouble. Read a book dumb ass.
Chad: If you say so. What do you think Kelly Fox holds in the cards for Sexy Jason? All the rumors running around have to have you a little worried.
Honcho-Man: I’m not scared. I’m sure Jason is a little freaked out after he “let Tommy the Cat out of the bag” hahahahahahaahahahahahahaahaha!
That’s when the News walks up to Honcho and whispers in his ears. Mike loudly repeats everything that News is telling him.
Sexy Jason checked out before I put the sack in front of the hotel room?
Tommy the Cat is suing me for kidnapping and abuse?
I have crabs? Oh, you were just messing with me. Oh… I really do have crabs….
Chad, I’m being advised that due to legal ramifications, I can no longer talk about anything I’ve done this week.
Lights: Any new “tricks” up your sleeve, Magic Man?
MH: The only new trick I have is if you try to take this belt from me, I’ll sock you right in the face!
The scene fades to black