Post by Mike Honcho on Dec 7, 2008 8:55:00 GMT -6
The scene opens with the News walking into a run down, dilapidated building in Chicago. He looks around to insure that nobody is around and unlocks eight different locks with eight different keys. He then enters the building and relocks all the locks.
He walks down the dark hallway for about ten yards and turns to the wall on the left. He does a knock that sounds like “Camp Town Races” and a hidden door opens. He enters the hidden room and a computer asks for identification. News responds by reading a series of random numbers. He hears three clicks, and another door opens. He then walks in the new room and puts his hand on a computer screen. A light scans his hand and yet another door opens.
He walks in and rides the elevator to the fifth floor and then walks down another long walkway and opens the door at the end of it. Then he enters the ballroom of the adjacent hotel. He knocks on room 515 and moments later Mike Honcho opens the door.
Mike: I told you to be here like ten minutes ago! Did you take the super long way that is totally not necessary to take? I mean, it was cool when we couldn’t afford a room but now it just seems like a big waste.
News: Don’t worry your skull about it my friend. What do you want to talk about my friend?
Mike: When did you start to talk like John McCain? Anyways, this hole “I have a past” thing is messing my world up. I could have brothers and sisters running around and I don’t even know if it is them. I could pull a Joe Dirt and sleep with somebody that I later think is my sister but turns out she’s not. I don’t want that kind of pressure.
The two men step into the room and sit on the couch in front of the tv that has a split screen with four different Star Wars playing at the same time.
News: Why are you watching four different Star Wars at the same time?
MH: How much longer until people figure me out? You ask me why I do something and I have and will always say because I like to party. So to answer your question; I like to party.
News: Fair enough. So, let go Mr. Honcho. Talk to me.
Mike: This whole thing couldn’t have came at a worse time. I don’t want to lose my belt to that guy Sexy Jason. I want to hate him so bad but I just can’t do it. Him and Jimmy Zane both, I just want to hate them but I end up seeing them at the Waffle House after a party and we have a good time. It’s bull crap! People you want to hate are supposed to suck, not be cool. Steve Awesome would be like that but he goes to that damn IHOP. I can’t afford to eat at IHOP, he’s doing that to be a d-bag. I will say this though, if he tries to take this belt, I’ll sock him right in the face!
News: I’ve noticed you’ve been saying that a lot. Maybe you should look into saying something new. But that’s just a thought. Have you considered a private investigator like that Veronica Mars? That was a good tv show….why did they have to cancel it?
Honcho-Man: I don’t know man, but they have Supernatural now so it’s all good. But I tried to hire the best investigator, Magnum PI, but a gang of fifth graders googled him and beat the piss out of him because they thought that he stole money from them when he promised to buy them porn and beer. What kind of a sick freak takes money from little kids saying he’s going to buy them beer and porn?
News: You tell me my friend. Anyways, I have to run. I’m going to hang out with Burns and that freak show JP Rush. You can’t go, Phil wants you to make meatloaf for the ppv. You need to get to work.
Magic Man: Really? I’ll get started right now!
The scene fades as Mike jumps up and runs to the kitchen and News gets up and walks out the door.
He walks down the dark hallway for about ten yards and turns to the wall on the left. He does a knock that sounds like “Camp Town Races” and a hidden door opens. He enters the hidden room and a computer asks for identification. News responds by reading a series of random numbers. He hears three clicks, and another door opens. He then walks in the new room and puts his hand on a computer screen. A light scans his hand and yet another door opens.
He walks in and rides the elevator to the fifth floor and then walks down another long walkway and opens the door at the end of it. Then he enters the ballroom of the adjacent hotel. He knocks on room 515 and moments later Mike Honcho opens the door.
Mike: I told you to be here like ten minutes ago! Did you take the super long way that is totally not necessary to take? I mean, it was cool when we couldn’t afford a room but now it just seems like a big waste.
News: Don’t worry your skull about it my friend. What do you want to talk about my friend?
Mike: When did you start to talk like John McCain? Anyways, this hole “I have a past” thing is messing my world up. I could have brothers and sisters running around and I don’t even know if it is them. I could pull a Joe Dirt and sleep with somebody that I later think is my sister but turns out she’s not. I don’t want that kind of pressure.
The two men step into the room and sit on the couch in front of the tv that has a split screen with four different Star Wars playing at the same time.
News: Why are you watching four different Star Wars at the same time?
MH: How much longer until people figure me out? You ask me why I do something and I have and will always say because I like to party. So to answer your question; I like to party.
News: Fair enough. So, let go Mr. Honcho. Talk to me.
Mike: This whole thing couldn’t have came at a worse time. I don’t want to lose my belt to that guy Sexy Jason. I want to hate him so bad but I just can’t do it. Him and Jimmy Zane both, I just want to hate them but I end up seeing them at the Waffle House after a party and we have a good time. It’s bull crap! People you want to hate are supposed to suck, not be cool. Steve Awesome would be like that but he goes to that damn IHOP. I can’t afford to eat at IHOP, he’s doing that to be a d-bag. I will say this though, if he tries to take this belt, I’ll sock him right in the face!
News: I’ve noticed you’ve been saying that a lot. Maybe you should look into saying something new. But that’s just a thought. Have you considered a private investigator like that Veronica Mars? That was a good tv show….why did they have to cancel it?
Honcho-Man: I don’t know man, but they have Supernatural now so it’s all good. But I tried to hire the best investigator, Magnum PI, but a gang of fifth graders googled him and beat the piss out of him because they thought that he stole money from them when he promised to buy them porn and beer. What kind of a sick freak takes money from little kids saying he’s going to buy them beer and porn?
News: You tell me my friend. Anyways, I have to run. I’m going to hang out with Burns and that freak show JP Rush. You can’t go, Phil wants you to make meatloaf for the ppv. You need to get to work.
Magic Man: Really? I’ll get started right now!
The scene fades as Mike jumps up and runs to the kitchen and News gets up and walks out the door.