Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Jan 8, 2009 0:19:17 GMT -6
*The scene opens on Curtis, Ron, and Russell in the Dirty Deal locker room.*
Curtis: I have to tell you guys, I am tired of these dumb a--
Russell: Can't say that.
Curtis: Are you serious?
Ron: We really can't say a--
Russell: NO! You can't.
Curtis: Well, I'm not saying butt. Butt is too wussy.
Ron: Booty is lame too.
Russell: Tooshie?
*Curtis and Ron just give Russell a blank stare.*
Russell: I'm sorry, you can't.
Curtis: Well, what can we say and still have our hard edge?
Russell: I guess you could say "at dolla dolla."
Curtis: Don't you mean dollar?
Russell: Yeah, dolla.
Ron: Say it right!
Russell: That's how I say it.
Ron: Because you're...
Russell: Stop that sentence right now or you know your contract will be terminated!
Curtis: Cool it Ron. Fine, "at dollar dollar" it is. Now where was I?
Ron: "Dumb"
Curtis: Oh right, I'm tired of these dumb @$$es walking around talking about how they're tough, how they're mighty, how they're God's gift to wrestling. When really, they just do not compare to Dirty Deal! They can kiss my @$$ for all the trash they talk. I mean, their faces are practically @$$es because all that comes out is crap.
Ron: Well, what about Upper Echelon? That guy Jack Monsoon had a lot of crap sure. But also a lot of history.
Curtis: Oh yeah, in fact, I have a tape in the TV! Let's see that again!
*Curtis goes to the TV and presses play. The TV cues up and we see the promo from Jack earlier:*
JM: I could give you the full run down but I'd run out of promo time unfortunatley, so I won't. First is first, why I left in the first place.
*Cut back to Dirty Deal looking on intently and nodding there heads. Then back to the screen.*
JM: After the stable wars had ended, I just felt drained. Emotionally and physically. I inherited Spike's war, a war I wasn't ready to take on my shoulders and fight. I was stupid. Even stupider to take control of Social Distortion, hence why I dis-banded the stable soon after.
*Back to Dirty Deal still looking intently. Then back.*
JM: I had to leave, I felt I had pushed myself as far as I could go in nCw, I felt I wasn't making the progress I should have been. After all, I'm Jack Manson, I was feared by many. And I lost that aura somehow, somehow it vanished. I was just another name on the roster, being left behind and getting stuck as Spike's lackey.
JM: I even betrayed all my beloved fans, the fans who made my job worth doing in the first place. I wasn't myself and called it a day. I had to leave, to truly get my focus and hunger back.
*Cut back and Dirty Deal has fallen asleep. Russell pokes them.*
Curtis: Huh? What?
Ron: Hit the snooze...
Russell: You shouldn't sleep in the middle of your own promo.
Curtis: Sorry, I just couldn't help it. So much nonsense. He said he wasn't going to waste his promo time with a lot of words. But he did! He did! He lied to us man! HE LIED! Maybe his partner Davey Oregano was put in a coma from the speech. Maybe that's why we haven't heard from him. You want the history of how Dirty Deal got together and what we've done?
Ron: We know they do, but frankly, they're not worth it.
Curtis: Your right, there not, and don't call me Frankly. So I'll give you the abridged version. I worked in XHF. Ron worked in XHF. I wanted to kick @$$. He wanted to kick @$$. We realized we could kick more @$$ if we teamed up. We then proceeded to kick @$$ so successfully that the place had to shut down! And now we're here to do the same thing all over again. Joe and Scott won't stop us. Nazis won't stop us. Sorta kinda rednecks won't stop us. Jack and Davey won't stop us. Jack and Jill won't stop us. Davey and Goliath won't stop us. Bert and Ernie WON'T STOP US!
Ron: Especially Bert and Ernie. Cause they're fa--
Russell: NO! Bad word and you will not defile Sesame Street!
Curtis: Although, speaking of...that...what was the deal with Joe Everyman and his Ernie? Why did we have to watch them eat waffles?
Ron: I believe it's called the Reckless Jack approach.
Curtis: He has a new name now. Apparently he was an identical twin of a guy he never looked like.
Ron: And people think we're messed up!
Curtis: Anywho, I didn't really get why we had to watch them eat. All they did was tell us they'd be patient. So while they're patient, we'll be beating the ever loving...
*Curtis looks at Russell. Russell is shaking his head.*
Curtis: ...sunshine...out of them?
*Russell nods.*
Curtis: Empty Freedom is nothing we can't handle. We're better than Indaina Jones, so we can handle the Nazis. Monsoon and Oregano will have ring rust. So that leaves the Redneck Renegades. And we've already proven we can beat them. So Kelly, if your listening, you got two options. Option one, you put us first. People hear that Dirty Deal are one of the first participants in the gauntlet, they know they're going to see us kicking four teams @$$es and that should mean we'll be on TV for at least fifteen minutes, which gives you a much higher buy-rate. And we know it's all about the money.
Ron: Because she's a woman.
Russell: That...while true...might be bad to say...don't say that again until I know for sure.
Curtis: Well, also cause she's the boss. Or Kelly, option two is that you put us last, so that we only maim one of your tag teams and we still have wrestlers to fight to defend our belts for the next month or so at least. Which puts @$$es in the seats for a longer period of time. We prefer the option with more @$$ kicking on our part, but your a business woman, so figure out which suits you better. Just know that whichever way you do it, we are walking out with those belts around our waist. Get ready to get dirty!
Ron: What the hell was that?
Curtis: A catchphrase.
Ron: Not a good one.
Curtis: I know, I'm working on it.
Ron: We kick @$$, what do we need a catch phrase for?
Curtis: Oh yeah, your right. F--
*Russell motions toward Curtis.*
Curtis: --udge that!
Russell: You win this round Curtis.
Curtis: Much like Sunday.
*The scene fades out.*
Curtis: I have to tell you guys, I am tired of these dumb a--
Russell: Can't say that.
Curtis: Are you serious?
Ron: We really can't say a--
Russell: NO! You can't.
Curtis: Well, I'm not saying butt. Butt is too wussy.
Ron: Booty is lame too.
Russell: Tooshie?
*Curtis and Ron just give Russell a blank stare.*
Russell: I'm sorry, you can't.
Curtis: Well, what can we say and still have our hard edge?
Russell: I guess you could say "at dolla dolla."
Curtis: Don't you mean dollar?
Russell: Yeah, dolla.
Ron: Say it right!
Russell: That's how I say it.
Ron: Because you're...
Russell: Stop that sentence right now or you know your contract will be terminated!
Curtis: Cool it Ron. Fine, "at dollar dollar" it is. Now where was I?
Ron: "Dumb"
Curtis: Oh right, I'm tired of these dumb @$$es walking around talking about how they're tough, how they're mighty, how they're God's gift to wrestling. When really, they just do not compare to Dirty Deal! They can kiss my @$$ for all the trash they talk. I mean, their faces are practically @$$es because all that comes out is crap.
Ron: Well, what about Upper Echelon? That guy Jack Monsoon had a lot of crap sure. But also a lot of history.
Curtis: Oh yeah, in fact, I have a tape in the TV! Let's see that again!
*Curtis goes to the TV and presses play. The TV cues up and we see the promo from Jack earlier:*
JM: I could give you the full run down but I'd run out of promo time unfortunatley, so I won't. First is first, why I left in the first place.
*Cut back to Dirty Deal looking on intently and nodding there heads. Then back to the screen.*
JM: After the stable wars had ended, I just felt drained. Emotionally and physically. I inherited Spike's war, a war I wasn't ready to take on my shoulders and fight. I was stupid. Even stupider to take control of Social Distortion, hence why I dis-banded the stable soon after.
*Back to Dirty Deal still looking intently. Then back.*
JM: I had to leave, I felt I had pushed myself as far as I could go in nCw, I felt I wasn't making the progress I should have been. After all, I'm Jack Manson, I was feared by many. And I lost that aura somehow, somehow it vanished. I was just another name on the roster, being left behind and getting stuck as Spike's lackey.
JM: I even betrayed all my beloved fans, the fans who made my job worth doing in the first place. I wasn't myself and called it a day. I had to leave, to truly get my focus and hunger back.
*Cut back and Dirty Deal has fallen asleep. Russell pokes them.*
Curtis: Huh? What?
Ron: Hit the snooze...
Russell: You shouldn't sleep in the middle of your own promo.
Curtis: Sorry, I just couldn't help it. So much nonsense. He said he wasn't going to waste his promo time with a lot of words. But he did! He did! He lied to us man! HE LIED! Maybe his partner Davey Oregano was put in a coma from the speech. Maybe that's why we haven't heard from him. You want the history of how Dirty Deal got together and what we've done?
Ron: We know they do, but frankly, they're not worth it.
Curtis: Your right, there not, and don't call me Frankly. So I'll give you the abridged version. I worked in XHF. Ron worked in XHF. I wanted to kick @$$. He wanted to kick @$$. We realized we could kick more @$$ if we teamed up. We then proceeded to kick @$$ so successfully that the place had to shut down! And now we're here to do the same thing all over again. Joe and Scott won't stop us. Nazis won't stop us. Sorta kinda rednecks won't stop us. Jack and Davey won't stop us. Jack and Jill won't stop us. Davey and Goliath won't stop us. Bert and Ernie WON'T STOP US!
Ron: Especially Bert and Ernie. Cause they're fa--
Russell: NO! Bad word and you will not defile Sesame Street!
Curtis: Although, speaking of...that...what was the deal with Joe Everyman and his Ernie? Why did we have to watch them eat waffles?
Ron: I believe it's called the Reckless Jack approach.
Curtis: He has a new name now. Apparently he was an identical twin of a guy he never looked like.
Ron: And people think we're messed up!
Curtis: Anywho, I didn't really get why we had to watch them eat. All they did was tell us they'd be patient. So while they're patient, we'll be beating the ever loving...
*Curtis looks at Russell. Russell is shaking his head.*
Curtis: ...sunshine...out of them?
*Russell nods.*
Curtis: Empty Freedom is nothing we can't handle. We're better than Indaina Jones, so we can handle the Nazis. Monsoon and Oregano will have ring rust. So that leaves the Redneck Renegades. And we've already proven we can beat them. So Kelly, if your listening, you got two options. Option one, you put us first. People hear that Dirty Deal are one of the first participants in the gauntlet, they know they're going to see us kicking four teams @$$es and that should mean we'll be on TV for at least fifteen minutes, which gives you a much higher buy-rate. And we know it's all about the money.
Ron: Because she's a woman.
Russell: That...while true...might be bad to say...don't say that again until I know for sure.
Curtis: Well, also cause she's the boss. Or Kelly, option two is that you put us last, so that we only maim one of your tag teams and we still have wrestlers to fight to defend our belts for the next month or so at least. Which puts @$$es in the seats for a longer period of time. We prefer the option with more @$$ kicking on our part, but your a business woman, so figure out which suits you better. Just know that whichever way you do it, we are walking out with those belts around our waist. Get ready to get dirty!
Ron: What the hell was that?
Curtis: A catchphrase.
Ron: Not a good one.
Curtis: I know, I'm working on it.
Ron: We kick @$$, what do we need a catch phrase for?
Curtis: Oh yeah, your right. F--
*Russell motions toward Curtis.*
Curtis: --udge that!
Russell: You win this round Curtis.
Curtis: Much like Sunday.
*The scene fades out.*