Post by Frostbyte on Jan 8, 2009 20:08:17 GMT -6
[We fade up to see Frostbyte in the Frozone sat awkwardly on the front of his ice throne. He has his sunglasses down on the front of his nose, his eyes gazing over their rims. There is a large figure standing behind the throne, merely a silhouette at this point but we can still tell that the man is big. REALLY big, what we CAN see from the shot is that this guy's head is above where the camera can see at this point. Frostbyte leans towards the camera, points directly down the lens and begins]
Frostbyte: ROLL the clip
[Cut to black. Then open to plain text]
"Stupid..."
[Entering our first clip we instantly know something is amiss. A blantant fake of the one Falcon recently showed. We see Frostbyte in the world's least subtle Falcon hallowe'en costume (available at all good costume stores and on unofficialwrestlingmerch.com) jumping off some obscenely high location landing badly next to a confused and laughing Jimmy Turner in an equally bad Angel costume. The paparazzi all begin to pile in from all angles and laugh at the unconscious Frosty/Falcon. Cut back to more text]
"Stupid..."
[The next clip shows 'our hero' missing an opponent with a chair, hitting the ring ropes and smashing it back into his own face, turning around, tripping over a fallen ladder and inadvertantly putting himself through a burning table [the wonders of modern homebrew computer graphics shine through here as clearly as the costumes do. Again we cut to wording]
"REALLY Stupid..."
[This time Jimmy turner is dressed in the Falcon costume. It's not the best fit in the world. Let's just say we can see too much but it could be a lot worse of a sight. This time Frostbyte, as himself, leaves himself open to attack deliberately and watches as "Falcon" saunters into the corner, leans back on a turnbuckle and begins to pick his nose and devour his findings, shortly before meeting the floor via a heartstopping 'Chill Factor' from The Frozen One]
[Cut back to the Frozone. Frostbyte is still seated in his throne. He begins to mimic the actions of smoking but on closer inspection we can see he is merely sucking his thumb and pretending to exhale smoke (kind of like an eight year old when it's chilly out... plus thumb-sucking) He looks up towards the camera and using his best Falcon impersonation begins to address his audience]
Frostbyte: Big words Falcon, Big words, Is that REALLY all you've got to stand on? I mean bearing in mind I've been wrestling my whole life and 'the' sometimes seems like a big word to me but come on..."affluent" what is that? a Girl's fart?.
[He clears his throat and cuts out the emo douche voice nonsense]
Frostbyte: You really think a smoker with a dictionary hidden where his porn should be should even BE in this business? Let alone be ALLOWED to compete, and for the National title no less? Hell, your the reigning champ you must be good! Pssh, nah seriously dude, How does it feel to be the best at being of medium talent in this company huh?
[He takes another 'drag' from his thumb]
Frostbyte: I gotta say though man, I'm glad your there, well actually I'm more glad that the title itself is there to be honest cos what good is a ladder with no rungs in the middle? What? Am I supposed to jump to get ahead in this business? NO The Frozen One Jumps when The Frozen One wants and never otherwise. You are just a rung Falcon nothing more. And I'm a pretty good climber. You've been the National champ for HOW LONG now? You should at least be trying to work your way up aren't you but you've hit a wall. Metamorphosis will do nothing for you except make that wall taller, wider, thicker and harder for you to get by than ever before as I step over you into the big leagues, or at least bigger... for now
[again with the thumb smoking thing, it's getting kind of old now but who wants to tell Frosty]
Frostbyte: There is one thing you've mentioned that got me thinking, you pointed out how it's not cold where you are. Duh, poor widdle Falkin has to have the heating up cos his widdle hands is coldy awww. There is a REASON for the fact that it's not cold where you are Falcon and that's because it's collldd inn heeree not there!? Either way a freeze is coming for you Falcon whether you like it or not.
[Frosty begins to motion for another 'thumb drag' then shakes his hand limp and shrugs his shoulders almost diapoointed in himself for carrying it on so long. He points back at us through the lens]
Frostbyte: You know what, I'd rather die slowly than die of whatever your poisoning your body with. A smoker and a wrestler cannot be the same person. I'm just thinking of yourself, it's time to choose man. Both options will end your life early, but only one will leave you with any chance of matching my speed this weekend. Only trouble is that it's too late for you now. Your innards will be just as screwed in a few days time as they are right now... even if you STOP... wrestling. You wanna sing me another song Falcon, go ahead, let's see what you've got. You're a lyrically retarded poet, go back to your seedy local coffee shop and hang out with people that care... and wear their hair to the side... and paint their nails. OK so I'm as done with you now as I will be when the ref hols my arm and that National title in each hand, raised high, at the end of our match this week. Screw it, I've got another clip to show the lovely folks out ther in nCwland. Roll it
[We cut to a gym, Greenday's really bad Eye of the Tiger cover is playing out of some stereo system. Frostbyte steps out of a shower wearing a short bleached wig and a pair of 'Y-Fronts' with "Frosty" written on the front and "Byte" written on the back. He is rocking out all over the place and singing along. His voice is terrible and he knows less of the words than are in the cover. Jimmy turner is sitting on a bench with a girls hair wig and an unflattering pink dress on]
Jimmy: Am I gonna lose my job?
[Frostbyte jumps up onto the bench and headbangs for a while in Jimmy's face before standing tall and flexing]
Frostbyte: God I'm awesome!... I mean Sexy. I'm the sexiest mammajamma ever!
Jimmy: But what about my job, I'm scared I'll lose my Job!
[Jimmy breaks out the 'crocodile' tears]
Jimmy: (sobbing) you don't even care about my job
Frostbyte: (singing) I'm too sexy where it hurts, too sexy where it squirts.. too sexy for shirts!! (back to talking) Hey amber!! I'm so excited!!! EXCITEEDDDD!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!
Jimmy: But... my.... joooo-o-o-o-o-oooobb
Frostbyte: Aren't you aroused by this Jimmy? I mean Amber... it's EXCITING, I'm so turned up right now, I could fire one off in the faces of Frostbyte and Falcon right now! Punches of course.
[Frostbyte scoop slams Jimmy/Amber through the bench and goes wild]
Frostbyte: EXCITING STUFF MAN WOOOOOOOO!!!!! I just can't control how insane this weekend will be
[Fade back to the Frozone once more and thankfully some sort of sanity]
Frostbyte: So Sexy Jason fancies himself a poet too does he? well how about you check this poem I wrote for you Mr. Jason
[He clears his throat and takes off the aviators]
Frostbyte: There once was this sexy guy Jason... Who got his head stuck in a Basin... when Frostbyte got there to rescue his hair... His head was as pruned as a raisin!...
[He gives himself a round of applause, the mysterious figure behind him joins in]
Frostbyte: So this is how it ends then? From metamorphosis onwards I Frostbyte will be 3 things; National Champion, On a 5 and 0 streak and after what I've left of ou and Falcon I will be the NEW sexiest guy around in nCw, I forgot to ask Jason, How does it feel to look in the mirror and know that your face isn't quite so far and away gorgeous from everyone elses any more. Knowing that you've got The Frozen One hot on your heels... literally, after that surgery, I am SMOKIN HOT. Oh and one more thing, Shiny, is NOT, sexy. It's merely a sign of over useage of lubricants. Or did you just fall in a vat of vaseline when you were a baby?
[Frosty mimics falling out of shot then rises up from the bottom of the screen smiling and flexing as if he were sexy Jason]
Frostbyte: You're watching tapes, I'm sorry I just remembered you said that! Come on man, don't you learn ANYTHING from anyone else!? Yes, I understand the irony here but seriously I lost my first two matches with this company and they were the first and last two matches I ever studied for, you are either ready or your not. The need for preparation is simply your brain trying to disguise your fears of losing. Because you know that's what's going to happen at Metamorphosis. No ammount of preparation can leave you ready for my speed, agility, confidence and surprise tactics
[He reaches down on the floor and retrieves his 'in case of emergency' bat then sits back down]
Frostbyte: Speaking of surprise tactics, check this out...
[He holds the bat up into the air, it's turqouise metal surface gleams in reflection of the studio lights. The large figure steps out from the shadows, his head still out of show. He takes a hold of the bat between his bear like paws across his chest and bends it back on itself without even straining. He drops the wrecked bat to reveal his t-shirt, It is turqouise and reads "in case of emergency" on the front]
Frostbyte: That's right, I got an upgrade. Now for all the haters and blamers out there that accuse The Frozen One of cheating or getting help to win against Mike Poncho or whatever he is last week then listen up. Help is only a bad thing in two wrestling oriented situations. When the ref is watching, and when you need it. Neither of which applied during the closing moments of my match with Magic Boy last week. You were right about one thing though captain sexy, There really are greater things to come. A championship reign for the Frozen One means guaranteed bookings and ultimately an increase in ticket sales what can I say, the little flakes out there love me! I didn't tell them to, they just chose to. I'm already ready for the both of you. Falcon, Jason, prepare to feel the chill factor, a cold front is moving through. I am Frostbyte, I am the Frozen One. Is it me? Or is it COOOOOOLLLLLDDDD IINNNNNNN HHHEEEERRREEE!?!?
[cue music and fade out]
Frostbyte: ROLL the clip
[Cut to black. Then open to plain text]
"Stupid..."
[Entering our first clip we instantly know something is amiss. A blantant fake of the one Falcon recently showed. We see Frostbyte in the world's least subtle Falcon hallowe'en costume (available at all good costume stores and on unofficialwrestlingmerch.com) jumping off some obscenely high location landing badly next to a confused and laughing Jimmy Turner in an equally bad Angel costume. The paparazzi all begin to pile in from all angles and laugh at the unconscious Frosty/Falcon. Cut back to more text]
"Stupid..."
[The next clip shows 'our hero' missing an opponent with a chair, hitting the ring ropes and smashing it back into his own face, turning around, tripping over a fallen ladder and inadvertantly putting himself through a burning table [the wonders of modern homebrew computer graphics shine through here as clearly as the costumes do. Again we cut to wording]
"REALLY Stupid..."
[This time Jimmy turner is dressed in the Falcon costume. It's not the best fit in the world. Let's just say we can see too much but it could be a lot worse of a sight. This time Frostbyte, as himself, leaves himself open to attack deliberately and watches as "Falcon" saunters into the corner, leans back on a turnbuckle and begins to pick his nose and devour his findings, shortly before meeting the floor via a heartstopping 'Chill Factor' from The Frozen One]
[Cut back to the Frozone. Frostbyte is still seated in his throne. He begins to mimic the actions of smoking but on closer inspection we can see he is merely sucking his thumb and pretending to exhale smoke (kind of like an eight year old when it's chilly out... plus thumb-sucking) He looks up towards the camera and using his best Falcon impersonation begins to address his audience]
Frostbyte: Big words Falcon, Big words, Is that REALLY all you've got to stand on? I mean bearing in mind I've been wrestling my whole life and 'the' sometimes seems like a big word to me but come on..."affluent" what is that? a Girl's fart?.
[He clears his throat and cuts out the emo douche voice nonsense]
Frostbyte: You really think a smoker with a dictionary hidden where his porn should be should even BE in this business? Let alone be ALLOWED to compete, and for the National title no less? Hell, your the reigning champ you must be good! Pssh, nah seriously dude, How does it feel to be the best at being of medium talent in this company huh?
[He takes another 'drag' from his thumb]
Frostbyte: I gotta say though man, I'm glad your there, well actually I'm more glad that the title itself is there to be honest cos what good is a ladder with no rungs in the middle? What? Am I supposed to jump to get ahead in this business? NO The Frozen One Jumps when The Frozen One wants and never otherwise. You are just a rung Falcon nothing more. And I'm a pretty good climber. You've been the National champ for HOW LONG now? You should at least be trying to work your way up aren't you but you've hit a wall. Metamorphosis will do nothing for you except make that wall taller, wider, thicker and harder for you to get by than ever before as I step over you into the big leagues, or at least bigger... for now
[again with the thumb smoking thing, it's getting kind of old now but who wants to tell Frosty]
Frostbyte: There is one thing you've mentioned that got me thinking, you pointed out how it's not cold where you are. Duh, poor widdle Falkin has to have the heating up cos his widdle hands is coldy awww. There is a REASON for the fact that it's not cold where you are Falcon and that's because it's collldd inn heeree not there!? Either way a freeze is coming for you Falcon whether you like it or not.
[Frosty begins to motion for another 'thumb drag' then shakes his hand limp and shrugs his shoulders almost diapoointed in himself for carrying it on so long. He points back at us through the lens]
Frostbyte: You know what, I'd rather die slowly than die of whatever your poisoning your body with. A smoker and a wrestler cannot be the same person. I'm just thinking of yourself, it's time to choose man. Both options will end your life early, but only one will leave you with any chance of matching my speed this weekend. Only trouble is that it's too late for you now. Your innards will be just as screwed in a few days time as they are right now... even if you STOP... wrestling. You wanna sing me another song Falcon, go ahead, let's see what you've got. You're a lyrically retarded poet, go back to your seedy local coffee shop and hang out with people that care... and wear their hair to the side... and paint their nails. OK so I'm as done with you now as I will be when the ref hols my arm and that National title in each hand, raised high, at the end of our match this week. Screw it, I've got another clip to show the lovely folks out ther in nCwland. Roll it
[We cut to a gym, Greenday's really bad Eye of the Tiger cover is playing out of some stereo system. Frostbyte steps out of a shower wearing a short bleached wig and a pair of 'Y-Fronts' with "Frosty" written on the front and "Byte" written on the back. He is rocking out all over the place and singing along. His voice is terrible and he knows less of the words than are in the cover. Jimmy turner is sitting on a bench with a girls hair wig and an unflattering pink dress on]
Jimmy: Am I gonna lose my job?
[Frostbyte jumps up onto the bench and headbangs for a while in Jimmy's face before standing tall and flexing]
Frostbyte: God I'm awesome!... I mean Sexy. I'm the sexiest mammajamma ever!
Jimmy: But what about my job, I'm scared I'll lose my Job!
[Jimmy breaks out the 'crocodile' tears]
Jimmy: (sobbing) you don't even care about my job
Frostbyte: (singing) I'm too sexy where it hurts, too sexy where it squirts.. too sexy for shirts!! (back to talking) Hey amber!! I'm so excited!!! EXCITEEDDDD!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!
Jimmy: But... my.... joooo-o-o-o-o-oooobb
Frostbyte: Aren't you aroused by this Jimmy? I mean Amber... it's EXCITING, I'm so turned up right now, I could fire one off in the faces of Frostbyte and Falcon right now! Punches of course.
[Frostbyte scoop slams Jimmy/Amber through the bench and goes wild]
Frostbyte: EXCITING STUFF MAN WOOOOOOOO!!!!! I just can't control how insane this weekend will be
[Fade back to the Frozone once more and thankfully some sort of sanity]
Frostbyte: So Sexy Jason fancies himself a poet too does he? well how about you check this poem I wrote for you Mr. Jason
[He clears his throat and takes off the aviators]
Frostbyte: There once was this sexy guy Jason... Who got his head stuck in a Basin... when Frostbyte got there to rescue his hair... His head was as pruned as a raisin!...
[He gives himself a round of applause, the mysterious figure behind him joins in]
Frostbyte: So this is how it ends then? From metamorphosis onwards I Frostbyte will be 3 things; National Champion, On a 5 and 0 streak and after what I've left of ou and Falcon I will be the NEW sexiest guy around in nCw, I forgot to ask Jason, How does it feel to look in the mirror and know that your face isn't quite so far and away gorgeous from everyone elses any more. Knowing that you've got The Frozen One hot on your heels... literally, after that surgery, I am SMOKIN HOT. Oh and one more thing, Shiny, is NOT, sexy. It's merely a sign of over useage of lubricants. Or did you just fall in a vat of vaseline when you were a baby?
[Frosty mimics falling out of shot then rises up from the bottom of the screen smiling and flexing as if he were sexy Jason]
Frostbyte: You're watching tapes, I'm sorry I just remembered you said that! Come on man, don't you learn ANYTHING from anyone else!? Yes, I understand the irony here but seriously I lost my first two matches with this company and they were the first and last two matches I ever studied for, you are either ready or your not. The need for preparation is simply your brain trying to disguise your fears of losing. Because you know that's what's going to happen at Metamorphosis. No ammount of preparation can leave you ready for my speed, agility, confidence and surprise tactics
[He reaches down on the floor and retrieves his 'in case of emergency' bat then sits back down]
Frostbyte: Speaking of surprise tactics, check this out...
[He holds the bat up into the air, it's turqouise metal surface gleams in reflection of the studio lights. The large figure steps out from the shadows, his head still out of show. He takes a hold of the bat between his bear like paws across his chest and bends it back on itself without even straining. He drops the wrecked bat to reveal his t-shirt, It is turqouise and reads "in case of emergency" on the front]
Frostbyte: That's right, I got an upgrade. Now for all the haters and blamers out there that accuse The Frozen One of cheating or getting help to win against Mike Poncho or whatever he is last week then listen up. Help is only a bad thing in two wrestling oriented situations. When the ref is watching, and when you need it. Neither of which applied during the closing moments of my match with Magic Boy last week. You were right about one thing though captain sexy, There really are greater things to come. A championship reign for the Frozen One means guaranteed bookings and ultimately an increase in ticket sales what can I say, the little flakes out there love me! I didn't tell them to, they just chose to. I'm already ready for the both of you. Falcon, Jason, prepare to feel the chill factor, a cold front is moving through. I am Frostbyte, I am the Frozen One. Is it me? Or is it COOOOOOLLLLLDDDD IINNNNNNN HHHEEEERRREEE!?!?
[cue music and fade out]