Post by Philip Burns on Jan 10, 2009 18:45:10 GMT -6
Today we open up in an airport. Philip Burns is sitting in an uncomfortable chair pensively staring out the window. He just watches intently as all the planes get lined up and ready for whatever city they may be headed out to. The are all lined perfectly like a row of dominoes. JP Rush approaches from behind and walks around with two cups of coffee. He puts one down in front of Burns who stares on as if not noticing.
JP: Hey Phil, I got you some go juice. These layovers can be killer. Phil? You with me?
Without ever changing his gaze, Burns begins to speak in a slow deliberate tone.
Burns: Have you seen what Mark Evil has been putting out there lately? I just don't get it. Why are there still people like this in professional wrestling, JP?
JP: Hell if I know man.
Burns: Like how he claims to be so dangerous and unstoppable. Does he realize I beat him for the title? Does that make me the baddest man on the planet?
JP: No, thats Mike Tyson.
Burns: No, maybe once but not today.
Burns finally releases the window from his death stare. And turns to JP Rush.
JP: You got me.
Burns: Its just blowing my mind. If he is for real... then it is only a matter of time until nCw gets sued for allowing mentally handicapped people to compete and injure themselves. He is just another example of the stupidity in “Xtreme”. People should only go Xtreme to settle a score, not to cover up for a lack of skills.
Burns seems dumbfounded and smacks himself in the forehead in vain!
JP: What about Homeless Harold? Shouldn't you be focused in on him?
Burns: Ah yes, my old friend Harold.
JP: Apparently he is not really homeless.
Burns: Oh I knew that.
JP: Really? But he stayed at your house for several days that one time.
Burns: But he asked if he could crash there.
JP: Whats your point dude?
Burns: He asked by text message.
JP is taken about by this recent revelation.
JP:Oh... That is a pretty good indicator. You don't see a lot of Homeless people with cell phones.
Burns: That is true. But there are other things. Like the fact that he is my friend on Facebook.
JP: Harold has a Facebook?
Burns: Well I said he does so it has to be at least a little true.
JP: Ha. Well I guess thats another strike. Computers have a dirty little habit of needing electricity. The kind you would find in a home. And if you have a “home” then “Homeless” is definitely not a suitable prefix to Harold.
Burns: Exactly. And there there were all his status updates on Facebook.
JP: Oh?
Burns: “Homeless Harold is chillaxin' at the house.” “ Homeless Harold is veggin' on the couch.” “ Homeless Harold is showing potential buyers his awesome house.”
JP is just flabbergasted by the blatant lies of his friend Harold.
JP: just... wow. I let him have half of my sandwiches all the time thinking he doesn't have any food. I kinda feel like my trust has been betrayed.
Burns: So do I. It just isn't right. Its a damn shame that we have people lying to us in our own group, our leader disappearing after a beat down, and Age of the Revolution trying to lure everyone away from the group. We don't need this on top of all that.
JP: I really do agree. Does this make you leader of Resistance?
Burns looks a little annoyed by the suggestion. His feelings on the matter have not been good in the last few weeks.
Burns: What Resistance? I don't see one. AotR has done exactly what they wanted when they wanted. We haven't even put a dent in it. Honestly man, other than Me, Spike, and Harold I don't know who else is even in Resistance. I just don't care anymore. Its not about messages anymore anyway. The point of all this has been lost for a long time now. There are going to b some major changes for us in the coming days and it will be for the better.
Now boarding flight 1138 to Calgary.
Thats us, big man.
They stand up and gather their bags. They will be in Calgary. in just a few hours. Burns has perhaps too much on his mind. can he re-focus and wrap his mind around his match or will the offers to join AotR keep him up tonight like it has been? Who can Philip Burns trust?
JP: Hey Phil, I got you some go juice. These layovers can be killer. Phil? You with me?
Without ever changing his gaze, Burns begins to speak in a slow deliberate tone.
Burns: Have you seen what Mark Evil has been putting out there lately? I just don't get it. Why are there still people like this in professional wrestling, JP?
JP: Hell if I know man.
Burns: Like how he claims to be so dangerous and unstoppable. Does he realize I beat him for the title? Does that make me the baddest man on the planet?
JP: No, thats Mike Tyson.
Burns: No, maybe once but not today.
Burns finally releases the window from his death stare. And turns to JP Rush.
JP: You got me.
Burns: Its just blowing my mind. If he is for real... then it is only a matter of time until nCw gets sued for allowing mentally handicapped people to compete and injure themselves. He is just another example of the stupidity in “Xtreme”. People should only go Xtreme to settle a score, not to cover up for a lack of skills.
Burns seems dumbfounded and smacks himself in the forehead in vain!
JP: What about Homeless Harold? Shouldn't you be focused in on him?
Burns: Ah yes, my old friend Harold.
JP: Apparently he is not really homeless.
Burns: Oh I knew that.
JP: Really? But he stayed at your house for several days that one time.
Burns: But he asked if he could crash there.
JP: Whats your point dude?
Burns: He asked by text message.
JP is taken about by this recent revelation.
JP:Oh... That is a pretty good indicator. You don't see a lot of Homeless people with cell phones.
Burns: That is true. But there are other things. Like the fact that he is my friend on Facebook.
JP: Harold has a Facebook?
Burns: Well I said he does so it has to be at least a little true.
JP: Ha. Well I guess thats another strike. Computers have a dirty little habit of needing electricity. The kind you would find in a home. And if you have a “home” then “Homeless” is definitely not a suitable prefix to Harold.
Burns: Exactly. And there there were all his status updates on Facebook.
JP: Oh?
Burns: “Homeless Harold is chillaxin' at the house.” “ Homeless Harold is veggin' on the couch.” “ Homeless Harold is showing potential buyers his awesome house.”
JP is just flabbergasted by the blatant lies of his friend Harold.
JP: just... wow. I let him have half of my sandwiches all the time thinking he doesn't have any food. I kinda feel like my trust has been betrayed.
Burns: So do I. It just isn't right. Its a damn shame that we have people lying to us in our own group, our leader disappearing after a beat down, and Age of the Revolution trying to lure everyone away from the group. We don't need this on top of all that.
JP: I really do agree. Does this make you leader of Resistance?
Burns looks a little annoyed by the suggestion. His feelings on the matter have not been good in the last few weeks.
Burns: What Resistance? I don't see one. AotR has done exactly what they wanted when they wanted. We haven't even put a dent in it. Honestly man, other than Me, Spike, and Harold I don't know who else is even in Resistance. I just don't care anymore. Its not about messages anymore anyway. The point of all this has been lost for a long time now. There are going to b some major changes for us in the coming days and it will be for the better.
Now boarding flight 1138 to Calgary.
Thats us, big man.
They stand up and gather their bags. They will be in Calgary. in just a few hours. Burns has perhaps too much on his mind. can he re-focus and wrap his mind around his match or will the offers to join AotR keep him up tonight like it has been? Who can Philip Burns trust?