Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Jan 10, 2009 19:53:43 GMT -6
*Ron is walking down the hall. The camera pulls out to reveal two women on him. One on each arm. They smile and they seem to be missing some teeth. The camera pulls back further and we see Curtis right next to him, also with a woman on each arm. One is wearing a potato sack dress and the other overalls. They too smile and are missing teeth.*
Curtis: I don't know if my wife's cool with this Ron.
Ron: Don't worry, you're not doing anything with them.
Potato sack girl: You're not?
Ron: I might though.
*She shudders.*
Ron: The Upper Echelon guys aren't the only ones that can have the ladies on their arms. Sure, we had to find ours from the local Hockey Farmer's Daughters league, but what the hey.
Curtis: Really? They have that. And we don't need bi...abes like this to show we're better.
Ron: Yeah I know. But they're missing teeth. That means they give good he--
*One of Ron's girls slaps him.*
Random Girl: That's it! We're out of here!
*The girls leave.*
Ron: One of these days! Bang, pow, too the moon!
Curtis: I'm just going to talk to the camera now.
Ron: Yeah, go for it.
Curtis: So we finally got to hear from Oregano. Now we know he's even worse at wasting our time than his partner! I could not watch that whole promo in one sitting. Talking about sins. Then stopping to watch our promo in his promo. It was too much. Ron, did you know that if you synched up the audio from his promo to the extended edition of Lord of the Rings, it matches up perfectly with what's going on on screen?
Ron: Really? Which one?
Curtis: Not one, all three! That's 12 hours of uninteresting entertainment!
Ron: Yeah.
Curtis: You see Upper Exxon, we've seen your types before. We've heard it all. You're the guys that think you're all high and mighty and up on some pedestal. We'll Dirty Deal's going to bring you down a notch! You talk about how you guys are some sort of legends of the ring and your already planning to be the top of the nCw tag division. Well you see, actions speak louder than words boys, and Dirty Deal is all about the actions!
Ron: The action of breaking you to pieces should be pretty damn loud when you're screaming in pain.
Curtis: We can talk about the Redneck Rejects, the NAIRs, and even the Errors of Freedom, but why? As you guys even said, they're nothing to worry about. They don't show up on your radar because you're way above them, they don't show up on ours because we already now we can beat them. But us, Dirty Deal, you guys talk a big game about. Because even though you want to act like it isn't a big deal to face us, you know deep down in the pit of your stomach that you're scared. You don't know the full potential of what we can do because you're too busy going out and partying and trying to pretend like we don't phase you, yet you can't shut up about us!
Ron: You know the end is coming and you just can't accept it.
Curtis: Exactly, you talk about sins and all that, but maybe you should talk about the stages of grief. You're already in grief because you know you can't win. You went through denial and anger. When we're beating you in the ring, you're going to be bargaining for your health. You're going to be depressed when we win. And the next day, you're just going to have to accept that you boys came back at the wrong time and your tag team dreams are all washed away. And really, if you can't even handle a little name calling, then Upper Deck, you're just a couple of bi--
*Russell runs in.*
Russell: NO CURSING!
*He runs out.*
Curtis: Jerk. Anyway, you guys are going to lose for many many reasons. But the base of it all. The reason you can't hang with us is because you won't sink to our level. You think your above us, and you won't come down. And in the end, that's the most important factor. You just aren't as dirty as us. And you never will be. Even if you could be, we'd still break you in half. Because that's what we do. We're here to fight, we're here to maim, we're here to destroy. It's what makes us the money. It's what gets us the gold. And we will go through you by any means necessary to get that gold. So you better hope you don't get to confront us in that gauntlet, because if you do, you will have the shortest comeback in history. And that, that is a deal.
*Curtis and Ron walk. Possibly the scene cuts, unless Ron want's to start talking here. If he doesn't, then it does fade out.*
Curtis: I don't know if my wife's cool with this Ron.
Ron: Don't worry, you're not doing anything with them.
Potato sack girl: You're not?
Ron: I might though.
*She shudders.*
Ron: The Upper Echelon guys aren't the only ones that can have the ladies on their arms. Sure, we had to find ours from the local Hockey Farmer's Daughters league, but what the hey.
Curtis: Really? They have that. And we don't need bi...abes like this to show we're better.
Ron: Yeah I know. But they're missing teeth. That means they give good he--
*One of Ron's girls slaps him.*
Random Girl: That's it! We're out of here!
*The girls leave.*
Ron: One of these days! Bang, pow, too the moon!
Curtis: I'm just going to talk to the camera now.
Ron: Yeah, go for it.
Curtis: So we finally got to hear from Oregano. Now we know he's even worse at wasting our time than his partner! I could not watch that whole promo in one sitting. Talking about sins. Then stopping to watch our promo in his promo. It was too much. Ron, did you know that if you synched up the audio from his promo to the extended edition of Lord of the Rings, it matches up perfectly with what's going on on screen?
Ron: Really? Which one?
Curtis: Not one, all three! That's 12 hours of uninteresting entertainment!
Ron: Yeah.
Curtis: You see Upper Exxon, we've seen your types before. We've heard it all. You're the guys that think you're all high and mighty and up on some pedestal. We'll Dirty Deal's going to bring you down a notch! You talk about how you guys are some sort of legends of the ring and your already planning to be the top of the nCw tag division. Well you see, actions speak louder than words boys, and Dirty Deal is all about the actions!
Ron: The action of breaking you to pieces should be pretty damn loud when you're screaming in pain.
Curtis: We can talk about the Redneck Rejects, the NAIRs, and even the Errors of Freedom, but why? As you guys even said, they're nothing to worry about. They don't show up on your radar because you're way above them, they don't show up on ours because we already now we can beat them. But us, Dirty Deal, you guys talk a big game about. Because even though you want to act like it isn't a big deal to face us, you know deep down in the pit of your stomach that you're scared. You don't know the full potential of what we can do because you're too busy going out and partying and trying to pretend like we don't phase you, yet you can't shut up about us!
Ron: You know the end is coming and you just can't accept it.
Curtis: Exactly, you talk about sins and all that, but maybe you should talk about the stages of grief. You're already in grief because you know you can't win. You went through denial and anger. When we're beating you in the ring, you're going to be bargaining for your health. You're going to be depressed when we win. And the next day, you're just going to have to accept that you boys came back at the wrong time and your tag team dreams are all washed away. And really, if you can't even handle a little name calling, then Upper Deck, you're just a couple of bi--
*Russell runs in.*
Russell: NO CURSING!
*He runs out.*
Curtis: Jerk. Anyway, you guys are going to lose for many many reasons. But the base of it all. The reason you can't hang with us is because you won't sink to our level. You think your above us, and you won't come down. And in the end, that's the most important factor. You just aren't as dirty as us. And you never will be. Even if you could be, we'd still break you in half. Because that's what we do. We're here to fight, we're here to maim, we're here to destroy. It's what makes us the money. It's what gets us the gold. And we will go through you by any means necessary to get that gold. So you better hope you don't get to confront us in that gauntlet, because if you do, you will have the shortest comeback in history. And that, that is a deal.
*Curtis and Ron walk. Possibly the scene cuts, unless Ron want's to start talking here. If he doesn't, then it does fade out.*