Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 11, 2009 0:41:48 GMT -6
*The camera opens up on a pretty good fake of the nCw X-Division title. Well, it looks decent, like the faceplate is right, but the belt itself is bright pink, and probably not fit for an adult male waist. Either way, the belt is sitting on a pedestal. The pedestal is made of rock, and to be honest, as the camera zooms out more and more it appears to be in some sort of ancient tomb or temple. As the camera pans around it to the back side we can see Nelly Angel, all decked out in explorer gear, including a beaten up fedora and a backpack, as he slowly, and very carefully approaches the title.*
Nelly: Only a few more steps, this is the closest I've ever gotten to something of quite this level. My, it's so shiny, there's not even any face paint smears or hair dye leaked into it. It's nearly immaculate.
*He creeps up and reaches the pedestal, but then he notices that said pedestal may be booby-trapped. He takes off his backpack, reaches inside, and pulls out a weighted bag.*
Nelly: Ok, I can just make this quick, nobody will notice.
*In a lightning-fast movement, Nelly switches the bag for the title and stands up proud.*
Nelly: Ah, well that was eas-
*He's interrupted as the whole area starts to shake, dust flies everywhere, the pedestal descends into the ground and the wall behind it begins to open up.*
Nelly: This...can't...be...good.
*A rumbling is heard and suddenly it becomes clear that behind the wall that has opened up is an incline, and coming down that incline is a giant ball...OF SNAKES!*
Nelly: Oh no! A giant ball of snakes!
*Nelly starts to run as the giant ball of snakes follows him, with snakes falling off left and right. This goes on as he runs through the entire temple, finally he's able to make a quick turn just as he's about to be crushed/poisoned to death. He breathes heavily, lucky to be alive.*
Nelly: That was a close one!
*But even closer than that is a sword trying to cut off his head! The camera adjusts to show that next to him is a fully armored knight!*
Nelly: I don't suppose you're here to congratulate me, are you?
Knight: Not a chance.
*The knight swings, Nelly ducks each shot as he does.*
Nelly: Please-
*Swing!*
Nelly: Stop-
*Near death!*
Nelly: Trying-
*Close call!*
Nelly: To-
*Even closer!*
Nelly: Kill-
*Slight shave!*
Nelly: Me!
Knight: NO! You shall die by my hand!
*The skirmish is however quickly dissipated by a giant robotic T-Rex crashing through the temple wall.*
Nelly: WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO KILL ME NOW THAT I HAVE THE TITLE!?
*The robot dinosaur focuses his sensors on the title, which Nelly then throws onto the knight.*
Knight: Yes! It's mine!
*Then the Robo-Rex proceeds to come down with its jaws upon the knight, Nelly scantly is able to grab the title and again run. There's a distinct look of fear mixed with the satisfaction of a victory as he bolts to the door. However, the door is closing! And not only that, but it's closing from both the top and the bottom! Nelly quickly takes a suicide dive through the middle and just barely makes it out without being crushed. He stands up outside, which appears to be some sort of tropical location and tries to catch his breath. However, this moment of solitude is soon inturruped.*
???: Ah, Mr. Angel, I'm glad you have retrieved for me the title, now, be a cutie and hand it to me.
*Nelly turns around to see waiting for him a scantily clad stripper holding a large gun that has a backpack attachment. She fires it up, literally, because it's a flame thrower. Nelly looks at this and then turns to a random direction off camera.*
Nelly: Ok, cut, cut, cut.
*The camera pans out to reveal this is all on a set as the director, Randy Angel (again dressed like an idiot), walks on set.*
Randy: What?! Why would you cut!? Do you know how much it cost to make that scene!?
Nelly: I understand, but ok, the Indiana Jones thing, fine, the ball of snakes, cool, the knight...ok, pushing it a little but fine, the robotic dinosaur...actually that was really neat, but this?
*He points to the stripper with the flamethrower.*
Nelly: What the crap dude, seriously? She's even got a herpes sore on her mouth.*
*The woman looks around nervously as she covers her mouth.*
Randy: Of course she does! How else will the audience know that she's a stripper!?
Nelly: What does any of this have to do with my match against Jimmy Zane at Crossroads?
*Randy facepalms.*
Randy: Oh for the love of...Do you not understand symbolism?
Nelly: Apparently not your brand of it.
*The brother of Nelly sighs, then begins to explain.*
Randy: Ok, first of all, the title being in the temple represents how fixated people are on these sorts of things, they're becoming almost things of worship despite being made of leather and pressed metal. Second, the fact that you try to switch the title for a weighted bag shows that you really don't want anyone to notice that you've taken the title- that is to say; you don't want to create any waves by doing it. You know, you won't like be flashy and stuff about it. However, it's impossible to grab a title like this without creating waves, hence the whole temple starting to change- it's natural that when a new champion takes over, this sort of thing happens.
Nelly: The ball of snakes?
Randy: The ball of snakes represents all of the challengers who come at you after you have already gotten the title. So as the ball rolls at you, more and more snakes fall off as they are defeated- or crushed by the ball as it were. Then you face the knight, the knight is your rival- whoever that may be, finally coming to end your reign in some sort of huge PPV match, maybe like a Sexy Jason or someone. Then the robotic dinosaur appears through the walls because as champion you'll have to deal with X-Factors, like yourself. People who think outside of the box. And if a champion can somehow get passed all of that, then lays the greatest challenge of them all.
*The stripper accidentally fires off her flamethrower again. Nelly looks over confused.*
Nelly: Go on...
Randy: The stripper with the flamethrower represents temptation, y'know, when a champion gives in to his own desires and basically pisses away his career on women and booze. So she represents temptation because, I mean, well, what's more tempting than a stripper with a flamethrower?
Nelly: Wow, that's creepily well thought out.
Randy: I'm a good director.
Nelly: It certainly seems that way. But why is the title a cheap knock-off?
Randy: You only have so much money in your account and after the RoboRex you started to run out of money.
Nelly: Ah. Wait, that was my money you were using!?
Randy: Yes yes, don't worry about it.
*Nelly stands there with his mouth agape in horror at all of his money now gone.*
Randy: So...are you going to get back in the shot?
Nelly: No way. Until you can work out some more metaphors for making choices that properly show how the Revolution is trying to recruit me despite my despising their tactics and give some sort of metaphor to Jimmy Zane I'm totally not gonna shoot this again.
*Randy thinks a moment.*
Randy: Ok, let's break for lunch and we'll try it again after.
Nelly: Are you listening to me?
*Randy pulls out a bullhorn.*
Randy: EVERYONE! LUNCH!
*Nelly walks off to get lunch/ try to escape. The camera follows him. After walking a few moments he notices and starts talking.*
Nelly: Ok, I can explain. My brother is trying to make a promotional video for Crossroads that highlights my match, this way he figures people will be under the impression that the whole show is booked around me, thus making me a super-duper star and him very rich. I decided to go along with it because it was fun. But to be honest, Jimmy Zane is right; I'm not a big star.
*He shrugs.*
Nelly: I'm not sure where Zane gets the idea that I think I am, I'm just another cog in the machine, call me a midcarder or what, I don't really care, I'm just a wrestler. But what does that mean? Does being just another guy in the back mean that I'm under qualified to wrestle for a title? Pfft, I doubt it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm not here for titles, they're just leather and pressed metal that don't mean anything to me. I'm here to wrestle and put on a good show. I have no idea where Jimmy Zane keeps getting the idea that I want his title. I just want to do my best and if that means beating him then it's all the better.
*Nelly goes to a bench and takes off his backpack, from it he produces a sandwich.*
Nelly: Zane's water metaphor is flawed, he talks about water, and how the Revolution is like rocks that are messing the whole thing up. But, if that's the case then he is presuming that the wrestlers are in fact particles in the water. Now, I consider a title yet another particle that makes up a river, maybe it's like a stick or something. If I grab onto the stick, what am I gonna do? Probably sink or get stuck. I don't wanna stop, I wanna keep moving. As long as I can I just wanna keep moving and keep doing what I do, wrestling. Really for me that means that titles are in the way, but if unseating Zane will appease the fans or whoever put me into the number one contendership match, well then so be it. If it's my job to beat Jimmy Zane, then do it I shall.
*Nelly chuckles.*
Nelly: I don't know. I don't think that Jimmy Zane has been watching me closely here. I mean, for one thing, he always comments on how I want his title- when in fact it should be clear by now that the title is the least of my concern. Secondly, he talks about how I have the heart, but not the drive. Now, maybe my drive is different from his- in fact I'm sure it is. But I wouldn't say I lack it. No, not at all. We all have different goals. Some of us are ok with having such shallow goals as holding pieces of pressed metal to show to our friends. Some of us just want to hurt people, some of us do it because we've got messed up heads and don't know what else to do. Me?
*He breathes a heavy breath.*
Nelly: I wanna change wrestling. I want to simplify it, make it less about the glitz and the gold and the women and the drugs and all that terrible stuff that gives it a bad name. I wanna make wrestling an accepted sport again. So, every week, every time I wrestle, I come out, I preach my song, and then I show that you can be a winner, you can do well, and that you can be favored without adding a feather boa to everything. Take for example my match with Falcon. There were no emotions other than pure competition, to go out, and put on the best possible show we could by putting our all into that match. I have never, ever been so drained after a match, but my god, if I could do that every week it would be pure ecstasy.
*He shrugs as he takes a bite of his sandwich.*
Nelly: But that's not possible, there's too many people who are fighting for the wrong things that need to be shown the errors of their ways. People like Jimmy Zane. A man who despite what he claims this week, said the week before in his promos that he wouldn't pull any funny stuff during our tag team match- but just because of his selfishness he cost us the match. I have no idea what he gained from that, but he sure seemed proud of himself. And he is so fixated on the X-Division title. I can say it as many times as I want, but nobody seems to hear that I don't care about titles. Zane, I'm not coming all up in your grill to take your title, I'm going into the ring on Sunday because I was in a match that stipulated me to do so if I won. I won and now I'm gonna be in the ring with you on Sunday, trying to win because that's what competition is about. Is that so hard to understand? I'd shake your hand before the match to show my good sportsmanship, but I am afraid you'd punch me in the mouth for trying. I'm not your enemy, Zane, or at least I don't have to be.
*Another bite of the sandwich.*
Nelly: That's how it goes though. I say my piece and another guy says I'm full of crap and then rants about how he's the best, and again I have to prove my point. One by one I prove my point to people who aim for the wrong things. People with mis-aligned motivations. This Sunday is no different. Jimmy, if you want this to be personal, that's fine, make it personal on your end. Me? I don't need it to be, this is just another match on another day. I have bigger things to worry about, like making a very important decision. Because I dream of a day when people like you are looked down on, and shunned out of the business. You're just one of many faces of the enemy that I face, and will someday help to change. Follow me as an example, I can lead you down the right path. I can help to make this river of wrestling flow strong, but first I need enough particles like you and others to help me turn the tide. Otherwise you're in the way, and I'll just have to beat you to prove it.
*Nelly looks down at his sandwich.*
Nelly: Actually, I think lunch is over soon and Randy will be looking for me, so could I get a few moments to finish this? I'm super hungry. Thanks dude.
*The camera fades.*
Nelly: Only a few more steps, this is the closest I've ever gotten to something of quite this level. My, it's so shiny, there's not even any face paint smears or hair dye leaked into it. It's nearly immaculate.
*He creeps up and reaches the pedestal, but then he notices that said pedestal may be booby-trapped. He takes off his backpack, reaches inside, and pulls out a weighted bag.*
Nelly: Ok, I can just make this quick, nobody will notice.
*In a lightning-fast movement, Nelly switches the bag for the title and stands up proud.*
Nelly: Ah, well that was eas-
*He's interrupted as the whole area starts to shake, dust flies everywhere, the pedestal descends into the ground and the wall behind it begins to open up.*
Nelly: This...can't...be...good.
*A rumbling is heard and suddenly it becomes clear that behind the wall that has opened up is an incline, and coming down that incline is a giant ball...OF SNAKES!*
Nelly: Oh no! A giant ball of snakes!
*Nelly starts to run as the giant ball of snakes follows him, with snakes falling off left and right. This goes on as he runs through the entire temple, finally he's able to make a quick turn just as he's about to be crushed/poisoned to death. He breathes heavily, lucky to be alive.*
Nelly: That was a close one!
*But even closer than that is a sword trying to cut off his head! The camera adjusts to show that next to him is a fully armored knight!*
Nelly: I don't suppose you're here to congratulate me, are you?
Knight: Not a chance.
*The knight swings, Nelly ducks each shot as he does.*
Nelly: Please-
*Swing!*
Nelly: Stop-
*Near death!*
Nelly: Trying-
*Close call!*
Nelly: To-
*Even closer!*
Nelly: Kill-
*Slight shave!*
Nelly: Me!
Knight: NO! You shall die by my hand!
*The skirmish is however quickly dissipated by a giant robotic T-Rex crashing through the temple wall.*
Nelly: WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO KILL ME NOW THAT I HAVE THE TITLE!?
*The robot dinosaur focuses his sensors on the title, which Nelly then throws onto the knight.*
Knight: Yes! It's mine!
*Then the Robo-Rex proceeds to come down with its jaws upon the knight, Nelly scantly is able to grab the title and again run. There's a distinct look of fear mixed with the satisfaction of a victory as he bolts to the door. However, the door is closing! And not only that, but it's closing from both the top and the bottom! Nelly quickly takes a suicide dive through the middle and just barely makes it out without being crushed. He stands up outside, which appears to be some sort of tropical location and tries to catch his breath. However, this moment of solitude is soon inturruped.*
???: Ah, Mr. Angel, I'm glad you have retrieved for me the title, now, be a cutie and hand it to me.
*Nelly turns around to see waiting for him a scantily clad stripper holding a large gun that has a backpack attachment. She fires it up, literally, because it's a flame thrower. Nelly looks at this and then turns to a random direction off camera.*
Nelly: Ok, cut, cut, cut.
*The camera pans out to reveal this is all on a set as the director, Randy Angel (again dressed like an idiot), walks on set.*
Randy: What?! Why would you cut!? Do you know how much it cost to make that scene!?
Nelly: I understand, but ok, the Indiana Jones thing, fine, the ball of snakes, cool, the knight...ok, pushing it a little but fine, the robotic dinosaur...actually that was really neat, but this?
*He points to the stripper with the flamethrower.*
Nelly: What the crap dude, seriously? She's even got a herpes sore on her mouth.*
*The woman looks around nervously as she covers her mouth.*
Randy: Of course she does! How else will the audience know that she's a stripper!?
Nelly: What does any of this have to do with my match against Jimmy Zane at Crossroads?
*Randy facepalms.*
Randy: Oh for the love of...Do you not understand symbolism?
Nelly: Apparently not your brand of it.
*The brother of Nelly sighs, then begins to explain.*
Randy: Ok, first of all, the title being in the temple represents how fixated people are on these sorts of things, they're becoming almost things of worship despite being made of leather and pressed metal. Second, the fact that you try to switch the title for a weighted bag shows that you really don't want anyone to notice that you've taken the title- that is to say; you don't want to create any waves by doing it. You know, you won't like be flashy and stuff about it. However, it's impossible to grab a title like this without creating waves, hence the whole temple starting to change- it's natural that when a new champion takes over, this sort of thing happens.
Nelly: The ball of snakes?
Randy: The ball of snakes represents all of the challengers who come at you after you have already gotten the title. So as the ball rolls at you, more and more snakes fall off as they are defeated- or crushed by the ball as it were. Then you face the knight, the knight is your rival- whoever that may be, finally coming to end your reign in some sort of huge PPV match, maybe like a Sexy Jason or someone. Then the robotic dinosaur appears through the walls because as champion you'll have to deal with X-Factors, like yourself. People who think outside of the box. And if a champion can somehow get passed all of that, then lays the greatest challenge of them all.
*The stripper accidentally fires off her flamethrower again. Nelly looks over confused.*
Nelly: Go on...
Randy: The stripper with the flamethrower represents temptation, y'know, when a champion gives in to his own desires and basically pisses away his career on women and booze. So she represents temptation because, I mean, well, what's more tempting than a stripper with a flamethrower?
Nelly: Wow, that's creepily well thought out.
Randy: I'm a good director.
Nelly: It certainly seems that way. But why is the title a cheap knock-off?
Randy: You only have so much money in your account and after the RoboRex you started to run out of money.
Nelly: Ah. Wait, that was my money you were using!?
Randy: Yes yes, don't worry about it.
*Nelly stands there with his mouth agape in horror at all of his money now gone.*
Randy: So...are you going to get back in the shot?
Nelly: No way. Until you can work out some more metaphors for making choices that properly show how the Revolution is trying to recruit me despite my despising their tactics and give some sort of metaphor to Jimmy Zane I'm totally not gonna shoot this again.
*Randy thinks a moment.*
Randy: Ok, let's break for lunch and we'll try it again after.
Nelly: Are you listening to me?
*Randy pulls out a bullhorn.*
Randy: EVERYONE! LUNCH!
*Nelly walks off to get lunch/ try to escape. The camera follows him. After walking a few moments he notices and starts talking.*
Nelly: Ok, I can explain. My brother is trying to make a promotional video for Crossroads that highlights my match, this way he figures people will be under the impression that the whole show is booked around me, thus making me a super-duper star and him very rich. I decided to go along with it because it was fun. But to be honest, Jimmy Zane is right; I'm not a big star.
*He shrugs.*
Nelly: I'm not sure where Zane gets the idea that I think I am, I'm just another cog in the machine, call me a midcarder or what, I don't really care, I'm just a wrestler. But what does that mean? Does being just another guy in the back mean that I'm under qualified to wrestle for a title? Pfft, I doubt it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm not here for titles, they're just leather and pressed metal that don't mean anything to me. I'm here to wrestle and put on a good show. I have no idea where Jimmy Zane keeps getting the idea that I want his title. I just want to do my best and if that means beating him then it's all the better.
*Nelly goes to a bench and takes off his backpack, from it he produces a sandwich.*
Nelly: Zane's water metaphor is flawed, he talks about water, and how the Revolution is like rocks that are messing the whole thing up. But, if that's the case then he is presuming that the wrestlers are in fact particles in the water. Now, I consider a title yet another particle that makes up a river, maybe it's like a stick or something. If I grab onto the stick, what am I gonna do? Probably sink or get stuck. I don't wanna stop, I wanna keep moving. As long as I can I just wanna keep moving and keep doing what I do, wrestling. Really for me that means that titles are in the way, but if unseating Zane will appease the fans or whoever put me into the number one contendership match, well then so be it. If it's my job to beat Jimmy Zane, then do it I shall.
*Nelly chuckles.*
Nelly: I don't know. I don't think that Jimmy Zane has been watching me closely here. I mean, for one thing, he always comments on how I want his title- when in fact it should be clear by now that the title is the least of my concern. Secondly, he talks about how I have the heart, but not the drive. Now, maybe my drive is different from his- in fact I'm sure it is. But I wouldn't say I lack it. No, not at all. We all have different goals. Some of us are ok with having such shallow goals as holding pieces of pressed metal to show to our friends. Some of us just want to hurt people, some of us do it because we've got messed up heads and don't know what else to do. Me?
*He breathes a heavy breath.*
Nelly: I wanna change wrestling. I want to simplify it, make it less about the glitz and the gold and the women and the drugs and all that terrible stuff that gives it a bad name. I wanna make wrestling an accepted sport again. So, every week, every time I wrestle, I come out, I preach my song, and then I show that you can be a winner, you can do well, and that you can be favored without adding a feather boa to everything. Take for example my match with Falcon. There were no emotions other than pure competition, to go out, and put on the best possible show we could by putting our all into that match. I have never, ever been so drained after a match, but my god, if I could do that every week it would be pure ecstasy.
*He shrugs as he takes a bite of his sandwich.*
Nelly: But that's not possible, there's too many people who are fighting for the wrong things that need to be shown the errors of their ways. People like Jimmy Zane. A man who despite what he claims this week, said the week before in his promos that he wouldn't pull any funny stuff during our tag team match- but just because of his selfishness he cost us the match. I have no idea what he gained from that, but he sure seemed proud of himself. And he is so fixated on the X-Division title. I can say it as many times as I want, but nobody seems to hear that I don't care about titles. Zane, I'm not coming all up in your grill to take your title, I'm going into the ring on Sunday because I was in a match that stipulated me to do so if I won. I won and now I'm gonna be in the ring with you on Sunday, trying to win because that's what competition is about. Is that so hard to understand? I'd shake your hand before the match to show my good sportsmanship, but I am afraid you'd punch me in the mouth for trying. I'm not your enemy, Zane, or at least I don't have to be.
*Another bite of the sandwich.*
Nelly: That's how it goes though. I say my piece and another guy says I'm full of crap and then rants about how he's the best, and again I have to prove my point. One by one I prove my point to people who aim for the wrong things. People with mis-aligned motivations. This Sunday is no different. Jimmy, if you want this to be personal, that's fine, make it personal on your end. Me? I don't need it to be, this is just another match on another day. I have bigger things to worry about, like making a very important decision. Because I dream of a day when people like you are looked down on, and shunned out of the business. You're just one of many faces of the enemy that I face, and will someday help to change. Follow me as an example, I can lead you down the right path. I can help to make this river of wrestling flow strong, but first I need enough particles like you and others to help me turn the tide. Otherwise you're in the way, and I'll just have to beat you to prove it.
*Nelly looks down at his sandwich.*
Nelly: Actually, I think lunch is over soon and Randy will be looking for me, so could I get a few moments to finish this? I'm super hungry. Thanks dude.
*The camera fades.*