Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Feb 12, 2009 18:46:16 GMT -6
*We open on a shot of Curtis Kanyon shirtless and flexing. Though his belly has no abs and he's more lean than muscular really.*
Curtis: See Jason, I can do it too!
*Ron comes out also shirtless.*
Ron: Yeah, as you can all tell, we are much much sexier.
Curtis: A much to much.
Amber: Surely this should be a censored thing shouldn't it?
*The camera pans over and we see Amber in the cage with Russell next to her, but outside the cage.*
Russell: If there boobs were a little bigger, yes. But at the moment it's fine.
Curtis: Shut the hell up! We're sexy. After all, we're the DDPA!
Russell: What the hell is the DDPA?
Amber: Wait? Is that a play off of that other group? You guys are calling yourself the Dirty Deal Protection Agency?
Ron: What? NO! We're Dirty Deal already, that would be stupid. No, our business initials, DDPA, stands for Double D Protection Agency!
Curtis: The "Double D" stands for Dirty Deal.
Russell: That is overly complicated and pointless.
Curtis: You're overly complicated and pointless!
Amber: And what the hell are you protecting?
Curtis: We're protecting you from your own stupidity! Also from Unsexy Jason. And from anyone else. See Jason is wrong. We don't belong to Damien Sparks. He doesn't own us. He does have control over Amber's contract and can do whatever with her, such as make her our manager. He ordered her to be in our care. And then he paid the DDPA to hold her here and keep her away from everyone, even himself. When we take a job, we keep it. Unless you pay us more money to switch. But we were paid to keep everyone away from Amber except for us. Damien couldn't release her if he wanted to! But trust us, he doesn't. Because as you've pointed out, he's lost to you 7 times in a row now. And why is that? Because he didn't hire the DDPA to take care of things. If he had in the first place, you would be a distant memory by now.
Ron: You'd have been tossed out of here quicker than a hobo that smells like sh--
Russell: The NCW does not house hobos, nor do they encourage the housing of hobos.
Curtis: Good to know. But see, we're doing a job Jason. You were tempted to kidnap our families? That's a threat! We could take you to court for that my friend! You want to steal one of Ron's many black babies?
Russell: They're dolls! And not even decent ones.
Ron: DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY CHILDREN!
Curtis: He's the modern day Angelina Jolie!
Amber: She's still modern day.
Curtis: My wife would beat the tar out of you Jason if she heard you threaten her. As far as the stuff with Amber, well, between us, she's kind of into that S&M stuff and she thinks this is kind of kinky, but I told her, we don't mix business with pleasure. Unless business is pleasurable. But that's beside the point. The point is, your girlie Amber will get to be let out of the cage, after we win. I mean, seriously, how are we going to get her to clean up our locker room and carry our bags if she's in a cage? Think man!
Amber: You guys suck.
Ron: Yeah, learn to live with it.
Russell: I have.
Curtis: Jason, we realize you have some skill. I mean, lets face it, you were the best Power Ranger. But you had the power of the T-rex, so of course you were the best. But you don't have enough skill to match me alone. Add Ron to the mix, and you are screwed buddy. Add on top of that, the fact that we are still pissed as hell that we aren't getting the tag team title match we were promised at Crossroads, and have to settle for that skank as a prize, and you have no chance in hell.
Amber: Hey!
Curtis: You may be too sexy for your shirt, you may be too sexy for your pants, but you are not too sexy to go through a table. And go through a table you shall this Sunday buddy boy! Who knows, we may even bring out caged Amber so she can watch the carnage first hand. Wouldn't you like that Amber.
*Amber spits at Curtis.*
Curtis: Ooo, still feisty. Save that energy for your chores. Jason, you will end up getting dirty this Sunday, and that's a deal.
*Curtis and Ron then flex to the camera as Russell seems to get physically sick from the sight and the scene fades out.*
Curtis: See Jason, I can do it too!
*Ron comes out also shirtless.*
Ron: Yeah, as you can all tell, we are much much sexier.
Curtis: A much to much.
Amber: Surely this should be a censored thing shouldn't it?
*The camera pans over and we see Amber in the cage with Russell next to her, but outside the cage.*
Russell: If there boobs were a little bigger, yes. But at the moment it's fine.
Curtis: Shut the hell up! We're sexy. After all, we're the DDPA!
Russell: What the hell is the DDPA?
Amber: Wait? Is that a play off of that other group? You guys are calling yourself the Dirty Deal Protection Agency?
Ron: What? NO! We're Dirty Deal already, that would be stupid. No, our business initials, DDPA, stands for Double D Protection Agency!
Curtis: The "Double D" stands for Dirty Deal.
Russell: That is overly complicated and pointless.
Curtis: You're overly complicated and pointless!
Amber: And what the hell are you protecting?
Curtis: We're protecting you from your own stupidity! Also from Unsexy Jason. And from anyone else. See Jason is wrong. We don't belong to Damien Sparks. He doesn't own us. He does have control over Amber's contract and can do whatever with her, such as make her our manager. He ordered her to be in our care. And then he paid the DDPA to hold her here and keep her away from everyone, even himself. When we take a job, we keep it. Unless you pay us more money to switch. But we were paid to keep everyone away from Amber except for us. Damien couldn't release her if he wanted to! But trust us, he doesn't. Because as you've pointed out, he's lost to you 7 times in a row now. And why is that? Because he didn't hire the DDPA to take care of things. If he had in the first place, you would be a distant memory by now.
Ron: You'd have been tossed out of here quicker than a hobo that smells like sh--
Russell: The NCW does not house hobos, nor do they encourage the housing of hobos.
Curtis: Good to know. But see, we're doing a job Jason. You were tempted to kidnap our families? That's a threat! We could take you to court for that my friend! You want to steal one of Ron's many black babies?
Russell: They're dolls! And not even decent ones.
Ron: DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY CHILDREN!
Curtis: He's the modern day Angelina Jolie!
Amber: She's still modern day.
Curtis: My wife would beat the tar out of you Jason if she heard you threaten her. As far as the stuff with Amber, well, between us, she's kind of into that S&M stuff and she thinks this is kind of kinky, but I told her, we don't mix business with pleasure. Unless business is pleasurable. But that's beside the point. The point is, your girlie Amber will get to be let out of the cage, after we win. I mean, seriously, how are we going to get her to clean up our locker room and carry our bags if she's in a cage? Think man!
Amber: You guys suck.
Ron: Yeah, learn to live with it.
Russell: I have.
Curtis: Jason, we realize you have some skill. I mean, lets face it, you were the best Power Ranger. But you had the power of the T-rex, so of course you were the best. But you don't have enough skill to match me alone. Add Ron to the mix, and you are screwed buddy. Add on top of that, the fact that we are still pissed as hell that we aren't getting the tag team title match we were promised at Crossroads, and have to settle for that skank as a prize, and you have no chance in hell.
Amber: Hey!
Curtis: You may be too sexy for your shirt, you may be too sexy for your pants, but you are not too sexy to go through a table. And go through a table you shall this Sunday buddy boy! Who knows, we may even bring out caged Amber so she can watch the carnage first hand. Wouldn't you like that Amber.
*Amber spits at Curtis.*
Curtis: Ooo, still feisty. Save that energy for your chores. Jason, you will end up getting dirty this Sunday, and that's a deal.
*Curtis and Ron then flex to the camera as Russell seems to get physically sick from the sight and the scene fades out.*