Post by Jimmy Zane on Feb 14, 2009 14:21:56 GMT -6
(The scene opens up with JimmY Zane, clad in khaki pants, a white button up shirt, and a tweed jacket. He is walking down the street reading a book. Suddenly behind him, he hears the roar of an engine. He turns to see a car jump the curb and come after him. He takes off running through the lawn of the nearby college. He leaps over benches, then the car runs them over. He runs through the courtyard, and the car follows. He runs through a narrow alley, and as he gets to the other side, he stops for a moment. Just as he thinks he has gotten away, he looks up, and sees the same car after him again. Suddenly, from out of the alley, comes a motorcycle. Riding this motorcycle is his old friend... GIBBY! He stops next to Jimmy on the street.)
(GIBBY) - Get on, donglicker!
(Jimmy gets on, and Gibby takes off on his bike as the car chasing Jimmy is now chasing them both. Gibby makes a turn into the courtyard again, this time he cuts across to the outside dining hall. As they pass between the table, Gibby reaches out and takes a sandwich from a kid and begins eating it with one hand. He takes a bite and then a sour look comes on his face. He spits it out of his mouth and tosses the sandwich.)
(GIBBY) - what kind of fag makes a cucumber sandwich?!
(Jimmy shrugs his shoulders as Gibby is cruising through the wheelchair path. The car pops out in front of them and Gib smiles his senile, yet, crazy ass smile and guns the motor. Jimmy's eyes pop open as they get closer. Suddenly, they are airborn, as Gibby hits the wheelchair ramp, and they fly over the people chasing them, knocking them to the ground. They roar off into the distance as the two men chasing them bang on their car, upset. The scene cuts back to them on the motorcycle as Gibby slows to cruising speed.)
(GIBBY) - Who the hell were those A-Holes?
(JIMMY) - No effin clue, man.
(GIBBY) - Yeah, right. You probably slept with one, or both, of their daughters.
(Jimmy thinks about it for a moment. He thinks deeply, wandering if he could have. Then shakes his head.)
(JIMMY) - Nah, that's not it.
(GIBBY) - Man, all this running from people for no reason has made me thirsty. You wanna get a beer and catch up?
(JIMMY) - Sure. After all that's happened with you (MOTOR REV) And you turning into (HORN HONKS). Hell the next thing you know you could (TIRES SQUEEL).
(GIBBY) - Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, I know a place not far from here, we should get some drinks. And something else.
(Gibby speeds up and they make a few turns. Jimmy just rides along, waiting to arrive at their destination. The pull into this not so good part of town, and he starts to smile. He know's exactly where they are. He looks up at the sign, and starts to laugh. "Pandora's Gentelmen's Club". He starts to laugh out loud.)
(JIMMY) - You never change, do you?
(GIBBY) - Ummmmmm, well, yeah.
(Gibby begins to walk into the place, and Jimmy starts to follow. He looks down to see a cracked mask in his saddle bags. Before he can reach down and pull it out, Gibby yells at him.)
(GIBBY) - Come on, dong machine! I need a beer and some boobs in my face!
(Jimmy smiles and catches up. They walk in, passing a couple of old faces they know well. They go over to the VIP section and a waitress comes over to take their order. They place their drink order and begin to chit chat about this and that. Suddenly, Bosco, the bouncer here, walks up to them with an aged leather notebook.)
(BOSCO) - Hey guys! Long time no see. Listen, a few months back, I got this letter and this book delivered by some punk kid. It said to give it to you as soon as I saw you. So, here it is. It's a bunch of gibberish, so I didn't bother you guys with it. I hope you know what it means, because I damn sure didn't!
(JIMMY) - (Taking the leather book) Thanks Bosco. Go get a beer, on me.
(Bosco smiles and walks off. Jimmy opens the leatherbound book, and starts to look leaf through the pages. His eyes widen as Gibby looks at him, dazed and confused.)
(GIBBY) - What the hell is that? Somebody sent us some old ass book?
(JIMMY) - No, it's something way more important, Gibby.
(GIBBY) - The kama sutra?
(Jimmy just looks at him, in his usual "What a dumbass" way. He then snickers, as Gibby has always made him laugh. He turns to a page in the book and turns it around and shows Gibby.)
(JIMMY) - It's a treasure map!
(GIBBY) - What kind of treasure?
(JIMMY) - The good kind, Gibby!
(GIBBY) - Oh yeah? Is it a map to the Island of Punani?
(JIMMY) - No.
(GIBBY) - Is it a map that will lead us to the Maltese Dildo?
(JIMMY) - What is wrong with you?
(GIBBY) - ....
(JIMMY) It's a map to the greatest power a professional wrestler could ever dream of.
(GIBBY) - Kelly Fox's panty drawer?
(Both men laugh at Gib's last statement. Thinking of the irony in the statement, and it's correlation to what's actually going on in nCw today.)
(JIMMY) - No, this is something with even more power than Kelly Fox's Hoo-Hah.
(GIBBY) - OK, I don't believe anything could be that powerful, Jimmy. I mean seriously. Look at nCw, the whole damn federation is eating out of her....
(JIMMY) - You wanna re-word that?
(GIBBY) - The whole fed is just kissing her...
(JIMMY) - Ahhhhh, huh ummmm
(GIBBY) - OH SCREW IT! Everyone is under her skirt...ass! So what is this thing that is so powerful, already?
(JIMMY) - It is the one thing that will help me to take Nelly Angel out this week, and retain my X-Division title at Crossroads.
(GIBBY) - Yeah, and what is it, smart guy!?
(JIMMY) The Crystal Can of Whoop Ass!
(Jimmy Turns the book back around to him, exposing a picture of the can. Gibby's eyes grow with excitement, and his shorts do too. Jimmy smiles as he turns to the map.)
(JIMMY) - It looks like we are going to need some equipment. We are going to need to go see our guy.
(GIBBY) - You mean THE guy?
(JIMMY) - Absolutely.
(Both men smile and get up, walking out of the bar. Bosco is standing out there, making sure everything is OK.)
(JIMMY) - Yo Bosco, let me borrow your truck, big man.
(BOSCO) - You got it, Jimmy. (Handing him the keys) But how am I supposed to get home?
(JIMMY) - Gibby, give him your motorcycle keys.
(GIBBY) - What?!
(JIMMY) - Just grab your bags off of it, and let him have the keys.
(GIBBY) - AWWWWWW MAN!
(Gibby hands him the keys and grabs his saddle bags. He walks back over to Boscos truck as Jimmy gets in. He cranks it up and pulls out of the parking lot and heads West towards a supply shop. Gibby looks a little down, with his arms crossed, looking a little upset. Jimmy tries to ignore it, but finally gives in.)
(JIMMY) - So what the hell are you pouting about now, Gib?
(GIBBY) - Nothing, you won't care anyway.
(JIMMY) - Bosco will take care of your bike, man. Don't worry.
(GIBBY) - That's not it, Jimmy.
(JIMMY) - Then what, already? Watching you sit there and pout is a lot like watching a Nelly Angel promo. It gets old quick, and just turns out annoying you in the end. Now spit it out.
(GIBBY) - (giggling) That's what she said.
(JIMMY) - Seriously, bro. What's wrong.
(GIBBY) - I didn't get a table dance!
(JIMMY) - (laughing) And THAT is what you are pouting about? Dude, I promise you, after we find the Crystal Can, and I use that power to decimate Nelly Angel this week at Crossroads, I will buy you five table dances! I just got business to take care of this week!
(GIBBY) - (Eyes light up) FIVE TABLE DANCES!?!?! For five table dances, I will not only help you with that jackass Nelly Angel, I will show you that 2 Girls 1 Cup video I got on my phone!
(JIMMY) - Yeah, not so much with the video. But I could use the help!
(They both laugh as they pull into the ARMY/NAVY store. They park the truck and get out, walking around the building. As they walk in the door, the camera follows them in. Gibby immediately runs to the underwear section. He pulls out regular tighty whities. Shake his head and throws them down. Then he finds regular boxers. Shakes his head and throws them down. Then he finds some camo tighties. He looks for a moment, then holds them up so the store clerk can see them.)
(GIBBY) - Yo! Say, do you have these in a THONG?
(Jimmy can't help but laugh as he pushes his cart through, looking for all the items he thinks they will need. Cantenes, camo pants, combat boots, and "Bug Juice". Gib walks over to the basket and pulls it out of the buggy.)
(GIBBY) - What the hell is bug juice?
(JIMMY) - It keeps you from getting Malayria!
(GIBBY) - But I thought that was why I used condoms!
(JIMMY) - Malayria, dumbass, is not a venerial disease.
(GIBBY) - I'm not talking about Venerarereal Diseases, Jimmy. I am talking about something worse....VD!
(Jimmy just looks at him with a look of disdain and then walks off, pushing the cart down the isle. He stops and picks up a new compass and tosses it in the buggy. He walks over to a shelf and gets a pair of field glasses, and some night vision goggles. He smiles as he puts them in the buggy. He pushes the cart to the front, then turns back to Gibby.)
(JIMMY) - You get everything you needed?
(Gibby is standing there with the camo thong on over his shorts.)
(GIBBY) - YEP!
(Jimmy just shakes his head as they check out. They load it all up in duffle bags and carry it out to the truck. They put the stuff in the back. When they climb in the truck, he pulls the book out and reads through a few passages. He then turns to Gibby.)
(JIMMY) - I think I know where this place is, Gibby. Remember when we first started out, and we went to that really dive ass beer joint on the south side of town?
(GIBBY) - Yeah, it was called the Starlight or some crap like that.
(JIMMY) - Exactly! "Under the Star Light I lay, unmoving I pray. Forwhen you are weak and weary, and your strength is failing, to drink and be merry, and hands start flailing."
(GIBBY) - Hickory Dickory dock. The bitch sucked on my cock. The clock struck two, I shot my goo, and I dropped her off at the next block. See, I can do it too!
(JIMMY) - No, Gib, it's a clue to finding the Crystal Can of Whoop Ass! Whoever left this for us, knows us well. And whoever it is, has hidden it near the bar!
(GIBBY) - Oh. Ok. Let's go.
(Jimmy pulls out of the parking spot when he notices the car from earlier today. He turns and looks at them, and they rev their engine, shooting towards Jimmy and Gib in the truck. Jimmy slams it in drive and takes off. The chase is on, as Jimmy hops the curb and the car behind them swerves around it. They pull out onto the street and they are chasing them down. Jimmy jerks the wheel and the truck slides around a corner between traffic. The car follows. Jimmy turns another corner hard, the car follows. Jimmy looks down and notices the "4WD" sticker on the dash. He smiles and heads towards the canyon. The car follows, pulling up beside them, and ramming them from the side, trying to knock them off the road. Jimmy holds the truck on the road, and then turns as they near the canyon. The driver isn't paying attention to the road, so when he swerves at them again, Jimmy slams on the breaks. The car swerves in front of them, and off the edge of the canyon, landing on a large tree branch. Jimmy and Gibby get out and look down at the knuckleheads hanging from the side of the cliff. They yell down.)
(JIMMY) - Hey Asshole! What's your problem?
(DRIVER) - We can't let you make it to Crossroads this week! You can't face Nelly Angel!
(JIMMY) - Well good luck with that!
(Jimmy and Gibby laugh as they walk off and get back into the truck. The scene cuts to them pulling up to the Starlight bar. They get out, and try the door, but the door is locked. Gib looks around and then kicks the door open. Jimmy just looks at him.)
(GIBBY) - AFter you!
(Both men walk in and Jimmy turns to the page in the book for the next clue.)
(JIMMY) - "Beneath the Star Light, you will see, a star shining brighter, than you believe. Behind the shine and glare, you will find it, if you dare"
(Both men look around, when Gibby sees the logo on the wall, is lit up by a neon light.)
(GIBBY) - What about this, Jimmy?
(JIMMY) - Is it hollow?
(Gibby starts knocking on it, when suddenly, his fist goes through it. He reaches around in the wall, when his fingers feel a rope. He pulls it, and a secret panel in the wall opens up. Behind the panel is a wooden box, with engraving on it. Jimmy walks over to it. Gibby then joins him. He opens the top, and a bright glow comes out of the box, and into their faces. Jimmy reaches into the case and pulls it out..... THE CRYSTAL CAN OF WHOOP ASS!)
(JIMMY) - This is the greatest thing I have ever seen!
(GIBBY) - Me too! Well, next to boobs, anyway!
(Jimmy opens the can, and chugs down the Can of Whoop Ass. Once he is finished, he stands there for a moment.)
(GIBBY) - Do you feel different?
(JIMMY) - Give it a minute..
(Suddenly, Jimmy starts glowing and floating into the air. Gibby looks on with shock and surprise as he reaches the ceiling. He bursts through the ceiling and flies above the bar. Gibby runs outside and looks up.)
(GIBBY) - GET DOWN HERE DONG MACHINE!
(Just as Jimmy is about to float off, he wakes up. He sits straight up in his bed as sweat rolls down his face. The camera is close up, as he breathes heavy. He starts to smile as he climbs out of bed. He gets dressed in a hurry and starts to head out the door. Before he does, he stops and turns to the camera.)
(JIMMY) - Nelly, man, you must have gotten my imagination going, brother. Be that as it may, I can tell you flat out that your snyde remarks, and backsided compliments aren't going to phase me. You are a mook and have always been a mook. You stepping into the ring with me this week is like wrestling with my brother's kids. I can make you look good, but in the end, you can't win. Your mailbag deal was awesome, if you like reading fake mail sent to you by your mother. Just keep in mind, that all the witty comments and bull**** propaganda you are spitting out, won't help you one damn bit in the ring. See ya Sunday, biznatch!
(Jimmy flips the camera the bird and runs out the door. As the door shuts behind him, the scene fades to black.)
(GIBBY) - Get on, donglicker!
(Jimmy gets on, and Gibby takes off on his bike as the car chasing Jimmy is now chasing them both. Gibby makes a turn into the courtyard again, this time he cuts across to the outside dining hall. As they pass between the table, Gibby reaches out and takes a sandwich from a kid and begins eating it with one hand. He takes a bite and then a sour look comes on his face. He spits it out of his mouth and tosses the sandwich.)
(GIBBY) - what kind of fag makes a cucumber sandwich?!
(Jimmy shrugs his shoulders as Gibby is cruising through the wheelchair path. The car pops out in front of them and Gib smiles his senile, yet, crazy ass smile and guns the motor. Jimmy's eyes pop open as they get closer. Suddenly, they are airborn, as Gibby hits the wheelchair ramp, and they fly over the people chasing them, knocking them to the ground. They roar off into the distance as the two men chasing them bang on their car, upset. The scene cuts back to them on the motorcycle as Gibby slows to cruising speed.)
(GIBBY) - Who the hell were those A-Holes?
(JIMMY) - No effin clue, man.
(GIBBY) - Yeah, right. You probably slept with one, or both, of their daughters.
(Jimmy thinks about it for a moment. He thinks deeply, wandering if he could have. Then shakes his head.)
(JIMMY) - Nah, that's not it.
(GIBBY) - Man, all this running from people for no reason has made me thirsty. You wanna get a beer and catch up?
(JIMMY) - Sure. After all that's happened with you (MOTOR REV) And you turning into (HORN HONKS). Hell the next thing you know you could (TIRES SQUEEL).
(GIBBY) - Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, I know a place not far from here, we should get some drinks. And something else.
(Gibby speeds up and they make a few turns. Jimmy just rides along, waiting to arrive at their destination. The pull into this not so good part of town, and he starts to smile. He know's exactly where they are. He looks up at the sign, and starts to laugh. "Pandora's Gentelmen's Club". He starts to laugh out loud.)
(JIMMY) - You never change, do you?
(GIBBY) - Ummmmmm, well, yeah.
(Gibby begins to walk into the place, and Jimmy starts to follow. He looks down to see a cracked mask in his saddle bags. Before he can reach down and pull it out, Gibby yells at him.)
(GIBBY) - Come on, dong machine! I need a beer and some boobs in my face!
(Jimmy smiles and catches up. They walk in, passing a couple of old faces they know well. They go over to the VIP section and a waitress comes over to take their order. They place their drink order and begin to chit chat about this and that. Suddenly, Bosco, the bouncer here, walks up to them with an aged leather notebook.)
(BOSCO) - Hey guys! Long time no see. Listen, a few months back, I got this letter and this book delivered by some punk kid. It said to give it to you as soon as I saw you. So, here it is. It's a bunch of gibberish, so I didn't bother you guys with it. I hope you know what it means, because I damn sure didn't!
(JIMMY) - (Taking the leather book) Thanks Bosco. Go get a beer, on me.
(Bosco smiles and walks off. Jimmy opens the leatherbound book, and starts to look leaf through the pages. His eyes widen as Gibby looks at him, dazed and confused.)
(GIBBY) - What the hell is that? Somebody sent us some old ass book?
(JIMMY) - No, it's something way more important, Gibby.
(GIBBY) - The kama sutra?
(Jimmy just looks at him, in his usual "What a dumbass" way. He then snickers, as Gibby has always made him laugh. He turns to a page in the book and turns it around and shows Gibby.)
(JIMMY) - It's a treasure map!
(GIBBY) - What kind of treasure?
(JIMMY) - The good kind, Gibby!
(GIBBY) - Oh yeah? Is it a map to the Island of Punani?
(JIMMY) - No.
(GIBBY) - Is it a map that will lead us to the Maltese Dildo?
(JIMMY) - What is wrong with you?
(GIBBY) - ....
(JIMMY) It's a map to the greatest power a professional wrestler could ever dream of.
(GIBBY) - Kelly Fox's panty drawer?
(Both men laugh at Gib's last statement. Thinking of the irony in the statement, and it's correlation to what's actually going on in nCw today.)
(JIMMY) - No, this is something with even more power than Kelly Fox's Hoo-Hah.
(GIBBY) - OK, I don't believe anything could be that powerful, Jimmy. I mean seriously. Look at nCw, the whole damn federation is eating out of her....
(JIMMY) - You wanna re-word that?
(GIBBY) - The whole fed is just kissing her...
(JIMMY) - Ahhhhh, huh ummmm
(GIBBY) - OH SCREW IT! Everyone is under her skirt...ass! So what is this thing that is so powerful, already?
(JIMMY) - It is the one thing that will help me to take Nelly Angel out this week, and retain my X-Division title at Crossroads.
(GIBBY) - Yeah, and what is it, smart guy!?
(JIMMY) The Crystal Can of Whoop Ass!
(Jimmy Turns the book back around to him, exposing a picture of the can. Gibby's eyes grow with excitement, and his shorts do too. Jimmy smiles as he turns to the map.)
(JIMMY) - It looks like we are going to need some equipment. We are going to need to go see our guy.
(GIBBY) - You mean THE guy?
(JIMMY) - Absolutely.
(Both men smile and get up, walking out of the bar. Bosco is standing out there, making sure everything is OK.)
(JIMMY) - Yo Bosco, let me borrow your truck, big man.
(BOSCO) - You got it, Jimmy. (Handing him the keys) But how am I supposed to get home?
(JIMMY) - Gibby, give him your motorcycle keys.
(GIBBY) - What?!
(JIMMY) - Just grab your bags off of it, and let him have the keys.
(GIBBY) - AWWWWWW MAN!
(Gibby hands him the keys and grabs his saddle bags. He walks back over to Boscos truck as Jimmy gets in. He cranks it up and pulls out of the parking lot and heads West towards a supply shop. Gibby looks a little down, with his arms crossed, looking a little upset. Jimmy tries to ignore it, but finally gives in.)
(JIMMY) - So what the hell are you pouting about now, Gib?
(GIBBY) - Nothing, you won't care anyway.
(JIMMY) - Bosco will take care of your bike, man. Don't worry.
(GIBBY) - That's not it, Jimmy.
(JIMMY) - Then what, already? Watching you sit there and pout is a lot like watching a Nelly Angel promo. It gets old quick, and just turns out annoying you in the end. Now spit it out.
(GIBBY) - (giggling) That's what she said.
(JIMMY) - Seriously, bro. What's wrong.
(GIBBY) - I didn't get a table dance!
(JIMMY) - (laughing) And THAT is what you are pouting about? Dude, I promise you, after we find the Crystal Can, and I use that power to decimate Nelly Angel this week at Crossroads, I will buy you five table dances! I just got business to take care of this week!
(GIBBY) - (Eyes light up) FIVE TABLE DANCES!?!?! For five table dances, I will not only help you with that jackass Nelly Angel, I will show you that 2 Girls 1 Cup video I got on my phone!
(JIMMY) - Yeah, not so much with the video. But I could use the help!
(They both laugh as they pull into the ARMY/NAVY store. They park the truck and get out, walking around the building. As they walk in the door, the camera follows them in. Gibby immediately runs to the underwear section. He pulls out regular tighty whities. Shake his head and throws them down. Then he finds regular boxers. Shakes his head and throws them down. Then he finds some camo tighties. He looks for a moment, then holds them up so the store clerk can see them.)
(GIBBY) - Yo! Say, do you have these in a THONG?
(Jimmy can't help but laugh as he pushes his cart through, looking for all the items he thinks they will need. Cantenes, camo pants, combat boots, and "Bug Juice". Gib walks over to the basket and pulls it out of the buggy.)
(GIBBY) - What the hell is bug juice?
(JIMMY) - It keeps you from getting Malayria!
(GIBBY) - But I thought that was why I used condoms!
(JIMMY) - Malayria, dumbass, is not a venerial disease.
(GIBBY) - I'm not talking about Venerarereal Diseases, Jimmy. I am talking about something worse....VD!
(Jimmy just looks at him with a look of disdain and then walks off, pushing the cart down the isle. He stops and picks up a new compass and tosses it in the buggy. He walks over to a shelf and gets a pair of field glasses, and some night vision goggles. He smiles as he puts them in the buggy. He pushes the cart to the front, then turns back to Gibby.)
(JIMMY) - You get everything you needed?
(Gibby is standing there with the camo thong on over his shorts.)
(GIBBY) - YEP!
(Jimmy just shakes his head as they check out. They load it all up in duffle bags and carry it out to the truck. They put the stuff in the back. When they climb in the truck, he pulls the book out and reads through a few passages. He then turns to Gibby.)
(JIMMY) - I think I know where this place is, Gibby. Remember when we first started out, and we went to that really dive ass beer joint on the south side of town?
(GIBBY) - Yeah, it was called the Starlight or some crap like that.
(JIMMY) - Exactly! "Under the Star Light I lay, unmoving I pray. Forwhen you are weak and weary, and your strength is failing, to drink and be merry, and hands start flailing."
(GIBBY) - Hickory Dickory dock. The bitch sucked on my cock. The clock struck two, I shot my goo, and I dropped her off at the next block. See, I can do it too!
(JIMMY) - No, Gib, it's a clue to finding the Crystal Can of Whoop Ass! Whoever left this for us, knows us well. And whoever it is, has hidden it near the bar!
(GIBBY) - Oh. Ok. Let's go.
(Jimmy pulls out of the parking spot when he notices the car from earlier today. He turns and looks at them, and they rev their engine, shooting towards Jimmy and Gib in the truck. Jimmy slams it in drive and takes off. The chase is on, as Jimmy hops the curb and the car behind them swerves around it. They pull out onto the street and they are chasing them down. Jimmy jerks the wheel and the truck slides around a corner between traffic. The car follows. Jimmy turns another corner hard, the car follows. Jimmy looks down and notices the "4WD" sticker on the dash. He smiles and heads towards the canyon. The car follows, pulling up beside them, and ramming them from the side, trying to knock them off the road. Jimmy holds the truck on the road, and then turns as they near the canyon. The driver isn't paying attention to the road, so when he swerves at them again, Jimmy slams on the breaks. The car swerves in front of them, and off the edge of the canyon, landing on a large tree branch. Jimmy and Gibby get out and look down at the knuckleheads hanging from the side of the cliff. They yell down.)
(JIMMY) - Hey Asshole! What's your problem?
(DRIVER) - We can't let you make it to Crossroads this week! You can't face Nelly Angel!
(JIMMY) - Well good luck with that!
(Jimmy and Gibby laugh as they walk off and get back into the truck. The scene cuts to them pulling up to the Starlight bar. They get out, and try the door, but the door is locked. Gib looks around and then kicks the door open. Jimmy just looks at him.)
(GIBBY) - AFter you!
(Both men walk in and Jimmy turns to the page in the book for the next clue.)
(JIMMY) - "Beneath the Star Light, you will see, a star shining brighter, than you believe. Behind the shine and glare, you will find it, if you dare"
(Both men look around, when Gibby sees the logo on the wall, is lit up by a neon light.)
(GIBBY) - What about this, Jimmy?
(JIMMY) - Is it hollow?
(Gibby starts knocking on it, when suddenly, his fist goes through it. He reaches around in the wall, when his fingers feel a rope. He pulls it, and a secret panel in the wall opens up. Behind the panel is a wooden box, with engraving on it. Jimmy walks over to it. Gibby then joins him. He opens the top, and a bright glow comes out of the box, and into their faces. Jimmy reaches into the case and pulls it out..... THE CRYSTAL CAN OF WHOOP ASS!)
(JIMMY) - This is the greatest thing I have ever seen!
(GIBBY) - Me too! Well, next to boobs, anyway!
(Jimmy opens the can, and chugs down the Can of Whoop Ass. Once he is finished, he stands there for a moment.)
(GIBBY) - Do you feel different?
(JIMMY) - Give it a minute..
(Suddenly, Jimmy starts glowing and floating into the air. Gibby looks on with shock and surprise as he reaches the ceiling. He bursts through the ceiling and flies above the bar. Gibby runs outside and looks up.)
(GIBBY) - GET DOWN HERE DONG MACHINE!
(Just as Jimmy is about to float off, he wakes up. He sits straight up in his bed as sweat rolls down his face. The camera is close up, as he breathes heavy. He starts to smile as he climbs out of bed. He gets dressed in a hurry and starts to head out the door. Before he does, he stops and turns to the camera.)
(JIMMY) - Nelly, man, you must have gotten my imagination going, brother. Be that as it may, I can tell you flat out that your snyde remarks, and backsided compliments aren't going to phase me. You are a mook and have always been a mook. You stepping into the ring with me this week is like wrestling with my brother's kids. I can make you look good, but in the end, you can't win. Your mailbag deal was awesome, if you like reading fake mail sent to you by your mother. Just keep in mind, that all the witty comments and bull**** propaganda you are spitting out, won't help you one damn bit in the ring. See ya Sunday, biznatch!
(Jimmy flips the camera the bird and runs out the door. As the door shuts behind him, the scene fades to black.)