Post by Mike Honcho on Feb 14, 2009 19:08:09 GMT -6
The scene opens with snazzy opening music and the camera pointed at a studio audience. Everybody is clapping and cheering. A voice comes over the studio’s PA system.
Announcer: Hello everybody and welcome to Positively Honch with Mike Honcho. Here’s your host, Mike… Honnnnnnchooooooo!
The crowd stands up on their feet and cheer louder then before as Mike steps out from behind a dark blue curtain to the left of the stage. He waves his hands at the crowd and blows kisses their way, causing the ladies in the crowd faint. The Magic Man plays it up for a few more seconds and the crowd’s volume dies down.
Magic Man: Hello everybody, as you know I’m Mike Honcho and this is my new tv show called “Positively Honch” and it will be like no show you’ve ever seen before. We will mix in guest with games and throw in a hillbilly fight every once in a while.
Before we get started, did you guys hear about this? Did you read about this? HBO is starting a new comedy show about a coach that has an over size penis. Also, nCw is starting a similar show, but it will be called “Positively Honch with Mike Honcho”.
The crowd goes crazy with laughter and cheers. Mike even breaks into a chuckle as he walks over to his desk that is next to a couch for guests.
Mike: Our first guest tonight is a fellow wrestler with nCw. He has been in countless world title matches to only come up a bit short. Here is the one, the only, Davey Ortega. Davey, come on out here.
The crowd begins to clap and the camera pans over to the guest entrance area. A few seconds go by with no movement. The camera pans over to Mike who is being handed a card.
MH: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry but it seems Davey is not going to make it today. He was eating at a local restaurant and started to choke. He was given the Heimlich maneuver and was ok but was taken to the hospital to be checked over. Sorry Davey, get well soon and we’ll bring you back for a future show.
I guess we’ll move right along to our next guest. He is also a wrestler with yours truly in nCw and was the apple of Spike Kane’s eye. Here is Joe Everyman. Come out here, Joe.
The crowd claps and goes crazy for Joe, who comes stepping out from the back area. He walks over to Mike, shakes his hand, and takes a seat on the couch next to Honcho.
Mike: Joe, thank you for being here today. I know you had other things to do today but we are glad you made it.
Joe: It’s good to be here, Mike.
Honcho: Sorry Joe, we are now out of time but coming up next, we have the newest game on TV, “Wheel of Cheese”. Do you have what it takes to beat the “Wheel of Cheese”? Find out next, this “Positively Honch with Mike Honcho” be right back.
After a quick commercial break, we see Mike standing next to giant wheel like on “Wheel of Fortune” but instead of money, the prizes are different chesses.
Magic Man: Welcome back, I want to thank Joe Everyman for showing up today and being our first ever guest on “Positively Honch”. Now, I need a random audience member to play.
Announcer: How about…. Steve Perry! Steve Perry, come on down! You’re going to be playing “Wheel of Cheese”!
The camera pans around the crowd and after a few moments, we see a young man running down the steps down to the stage area. He runs up to Honcho jumping up and down with excitement.
DDH: Hi there, Steve. Are you ready to play?
Steve: Hell yeah! Lets do this!!!
Honcho: That’s what I like to hear. Here are the rules, you spin the wheel and what ever cheese it lands on, you have to eat one pound of. If you eat it all, you win $2,000 dollars, if not, you will be flogged with a whip 20 times. Do you still want to play?
Steve: I think it’s worth the gamble, lets start it up!
MH: Ok, just step up to the wheel and spin. Just so everybody knows, there are six different types of cheeses on the wheel; Cheddar, American, Swiss, Pepper jack, Blue, Humboldt Fog, and Homeless Harlod “Fromunda” cheese.
Each section has different sizes so the odds are different for each one. The cheese with the biggest section and highest odds of landing is the “Fromunda” cheese with a 35% chance of you landing on it. Steve, bust a deal and face the wheel, make your spin!!!
The audience member walked up to the wheel and spun it as hard as he could. Unknown to him though, there was a guy behind the wheel and was going to have stop on what ever he felt like. The wheel started to slow down and it was about to stop on chedder but the man in the back gave it a little push to make sure that it landed on the “Fromunda” section.
When it did, poor Steve was heart broken. He knew that he could not only not eat the gross cheese, but he would be flogged by a whip. He was wishing he had walked away when he had the chance.
Magic Man: Oh, tough break Steve. But you still have a chance. If you want out of the eating the cheese and getting flogged, you can see if you can last 1 minute in the ring with… BONESAW!
Either way, after this you will be done. You will either last one minute or you will be hurt to the point of not lasting one minute. Would you like that or would you like to have a bite of some of Harold’s special cheese.
As Steve weighs his options, a ring is brought in with a big guy with long hair in the back but bolding in the front was standing in the middle.
Bonesaw: Bonesaw is ready!
Steve: I think I will try my luck with Bonesaw.
The young man jumps into the ring and gets clothslined to the ground.
Mike: Oh, right into the mat, that’s got to hurt Gene! Fans we are going to take our last break and be back right after this.
After the final commeral break, the show comes back to Mike sitting on a stool.
DDH: Hello again fans. Before we let you go, I want to share a final thoght with you all. This Sunday is a big pay-per-view for nCw and I will be in one of, if not the best match on the card. Fatal Four Way Iron Man Match, has a great ring to it. I really think this could be one for the ages. One that they will talk about for years down the road. All four men have proven that they are fully capable of winning that match and could walk out with the belt.
Homeless Harold will be entering the match the champion. If I was him, I would be a little scared because he can lose the belt without getting pinned or tapping once. He could lose the match without actually being beat. That is a thought that I know is in the back of his mind. By the way, I would like to thank Mr. Harold for donating the “Fromunda” cheese for today’s “Wheel of Cheese”.
Back to my point though, any of the other three of us in the match could win and never even beat Harold. Me and Rob are going to give it our all and make sure that who ever does win, knows that they just was the lucky one to get the last win before the time limit. I have no problem with Homeless and have been know to even hang out with him at Denny’s after a late night of parties. But we are not friends for those 30 minutes. For those 30 minutes we are the worst of enemies.
As for you Kristoff, I’ve already said my piece about you and your need to 187 a “big ol’ fat person” to make a skin suit. You want to feel normal, you need to feel normal, you HAVE to feel normal. But you will never be what you think of as “normal” or any form of that. You need to just get off that white horse and relize that you are just like everybody else. You’re just a freak… like me.
Uncle Robbie, I hope that you have recovered from the Spirit Walk as I have. I know that it’s weird to have a nephew that looks and acts older than you. To be honest, I really thought I was a 40 year old until I found out that Chris is my dad. But I love you, man. But as I told Harold, from bell to bell, you ARE my enemy. I will seek and distroy all of my enemies just like Winnie the Pooh.
With that said, I’d like to thank everybody who’s joined us for our first episode of “Positivly Honch”. I’d like to thank Steve Perry and Joe Everyman for being good sports on today’s show. We’ll be back soon with a new game, called “Hide the Kielbasa” and we hope that we can get Davey Ortaga to join us. Until then everyone, take care of yourself, and each other. Good-bye now.
End scene
Announcer: Hello everybody and welcome to Positively Honch with Mike Honcho. Here’s your host, Mike… Honnnnnnchooooooo!
The crowd stands up on their feet and cheer louder then before as Mike steps out from behind a dark blue curtain to the left of the stage. He waves his hands at the crowd and blows kisses their way, causing the ladies in the crowd faint. The Magic Man plays it up for a few more seconds and the crowd’s volume dies down.
Magic Man: Hello everybody, as you know I’m Mike Honcho and this is my new tv show called “Positively Honch” and it will be like no show you’ve ever seen before. We will mix in guest with games and throw in a hillbilly fight every once in a while.
Before we get started, did you guys hear about this? Did you read about this? HBO is starting a new comedy show about a coach that has an over size penis. Also, nCw is starting a similar show, but it will be called “Positively Honch with Mike Honcho”.
The crowd goes crazy with laughter and cheers. Mike even breaks into a chuckle as he walks over to his desk that is next to a couch for guests.
Mike: Our first guest tonight is a fellow wrestler with nCw. He has been in countless world title matches to only come up a bit short. Here is the one, the only, Davey Ortega. Davey, come on out here.
The crowd begins to clap and the camera pans over to the guest entrance area. A few seconds go by with no movement. The camera pans over to Mike who is being handed a card.
MH: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry but it seems Davey is not going to make it today. He was eating at a local restaurant and started to choke. He was given the Heimlich maneuver and was ok but was taken to the hospital to be checked over. Sorry Davey, get well soon and we’ll bring you back for a future show.
I guess we’ll move right along to our next guest. He is also a wrestler with yours truly in nCw and was the apple of Spike Kane’s eye. Here is Joe Everyman. Come out here, Joe.
The crowd claps and goes crazy for Joe, who comes stepping out from the back area. He walks over to Mike, shakes his hand, and takes a seat on the couch next to Honcho.
Mike: Joe, thank you for being here today. I know you had other things to do today but we are glad you made it.
Joe: It’s good to be here, Mike.
Honcho: Sorry Joe, we are now out of time but coming up next, we have the newest game on TV, “Wheel of Cheese”. Do you have what it takes to beat the “Wheel of Cheese”? Find out next, this “Positively Honch with Mike Honcho” be right back.
After a quick commercial break, we see Mike standing next to giant wheel like on “Wheel of Fortune” but instead of money, the prizes are different chesses.
Magic Man: Welcome back, I want to thank Joe Everyman for showing up today and being our first ever guest on “Positively Honch”. Now, I need a random audience member to play.
Announcer: How about…. Steve Perry! Steve Perry, come on down! You’re going to be playing “Wheel of Cheese”!
The camera pans around the crowd and after a few moments, we see a young man running down the steps down to the stage area. He runs up to Honcho jumping up and down with excitement.
DDH: Hi there, Steve. Are you ready to play?
Steve: Hell yeah! Lets do this!!!
Honcho: That’s what I like to hear. Here are the rules, you spin the wheel and what ever cheese it lands on, you have to eat one pound of. If you eat it all, you win $2,000 dollars, if not, you will be flogged with a whip 20 times. Do you still want to play?
Steve: I think it’s worth the gamble, lets start it up!
MH: Ok, just step up to the wheel and spin. Just so everybody knows, there are six different types of cheeses on the wheel; Cheddar, American, Swiss, Pepper jack, Blue, Humboldt Fog, and Homeless Harlod “Fromunda” cheese.
Each section has different sizes so the odds are different for each one. The cheese with the biggest section and highest odds of landing is the “Fromunda” cheese with a 35% chance of you landing on it. Steve, bust a deal and face the wheel, make your spin!!!
The audience member walked up to the wheel and spun it as hard as he could. Unknown to him though, there was a guy behind the wheel and was going to have stop on what ever he felt like. The wheel started to slow down and it was about to stop on chedder but the man in the back gave it a little push to make sure that it landed on the “Fromunda” section.
When it did, poor Steve was heart broken. He knew that he could not only not eat the gross cheese, but he would be flogged by a whip. He was wishing he had walked away when he had the chance.
Magic Man: Oh, tough break Steve. But you still have a chance. If you want out of the eating the cheese and getting flogged, you can see if you can last 1 minute in the ring with… BONESAW!
Either way, after this you will be done. You will either last one minute or you will be hurt to the point of not lasting one minute. Would you like that or would you like to have a bite of some of Harold’s special cheese.
As Steve weighs his options, a ring is brought in with a big guy with long hair in the back but bolding in the front was standing in the middle.
Bonesaw: Bonesaw is ready!
Steve: I think I will try my luck with Bonesaw.
The young man jumps into the ring and gets clothslined to the ground.
Mike: Oh, right into the mat, that’s got to hurt Gene! Fans we are going to take our last break and be back right after this.
After the final commeral break, the show comes back to Mike sitting on a stool.
DDH: Hello again fans. Before we let you go, I want to share a final thoght with you all. This Sunday is a big pay-per-view for nCw and I will be in one of, if not the best match on the card. Fatal Four Way Iron Man Match, has a great ring to it. I really think this could be one for the ages. One that they will talk about for years down the road. All four men have proven that they are fully capable of winning that match and could walk out with the belt.
Homeless Harold will be entering the match the champion. If I was him, I would be a little scared because he can lose the belt without getting pinned or tapping once. He could lose the match without actually being beat. That is a thought that I know is in the back of his mind. By the way, I would like to thank Mr. Harold for donating the “Fromunda” cheese for today’s “Wheel of Cheese”.
Back to my point though, any of the other three of us in the match could win and never even beat Harold. Me and Rob are going to give it our all and make sure that who ever does win, knows that they just was the lucky one to get the last win before the time limit. I have no problem with Homeless and have been know to even hang out with him at Denny’s after a late night of parties. But we are not friends for those 30 minutes. For those 30 minutes we are the worst of enemies.
As for you Kristoff, I’ve already said my piece about you and your need to 187 a “big ol’ fat person” to make a skin suit. You want to feel normal, you need to feel normal, you HAVE to feel normal. But you will never be what you think of as “normal” or any form of that. You need to just get off that white horse and relize that you are just like everybody else. You’re just a freak… like me.
Uncle Robbie, I hope that you have recovered from the Spirit Walk as I have. I know that it’s weird to have a nephew that looks and acts older than you. To be honest, I really thought I was a 40 year old until I found out that Chris is my dad. But I love you, man. But as I told Harold, from bell to bell, you ARE my enemy. I will seek and distroy all of my enemies just like Winnie the Pooh.
With that said, I’d like to thank everybody who’s joined us for our first episode of “Positivly Honch”. I’d like to thank Steve Perry and Joe Everyman for being good sports on today’s show. We’ll be back soon with a new game, called “Hide the Kielbasa” and we hope that we can get Davey Ortaga to join us. Until then everyone, take care of yourself, and each other. Good-bye now.
End scene