Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 14, 2009 22:42:29 GMT -6
Narrator: Choices. During the course of an average day, we make hundreds without even realizing it. But every choice we make has an impact on our lives. Some are insignificant; others have monumental effects that can last for years. Today we look closely at just a few of the choices made by two men over the course of one day. Will any of them change the world? Probably not, but I can promise you one thing, there will be choices that will be made. Big-ish choices. I'm talking pretty decently sized choices that might even effect bedtimes. Yeah, serious stuff here folks. Anyway, I present now our subjects on today's theme: choices.
*Nelly Angel is standing in front of his closet. There is a frighteningly large amount of bright colored t-shirts and jeans hanging up.*
Nelly: Hmm, let's go with red.
*He takes a red shirt and a pair of jeans out of the closet.*
*Randy Angel rolls off of Nelly Angel's couch on a lovely mid-afternoon. He lurches into the kitchen nook where Nelly is already cooking some food.*
Randy: What is that?
Nelly: Bacon.
Randy: Can I have some?
Nelly: Of course, I made it for you, since I hate hours ago.
Randy: Sweet.
*We jump to a few minutes later, Nelly is standing at the door.*
Nelly: Randy, I'm gonna go for a walk, I'll be back in a bit, ok?
*The camera moves to the kitchen nook where Randy is somehow standing up, but also passed out into his plate of bacon.*
*Randy has a large pile of booze in front of him as he contemplates what to drink.*
Randy: Hmmm, lemme think. "Bring me two pina coladas, I gotta have one for each hand, something something something, oh and never leave dry land." Well that sounds promising.
*He yells.*
Randy: Nelly! What is in pina coladas?
*No answer.*
Randy: Darn it. Hmmmm, sounds sorta Mexican. Mexican means...tequila.
*He grabs a bottle and chugs a little.*
Randy: Wooooo!
*Nelly is standing at a pop machine, he puts his coins in and looks at the choices of canned yummyness.*
Nelly: C'moooon, c'mooon, be a winner...
*The owner of the store that the machine is next to walks out.*
Owner: Um, Nelly, this isn't like a slot machine, you'll always win.
Nelly: No, I've lost before.
Owner: Wha...huh?
*The owner shakes his head as he walks back into his store. Nelly meanwhile goes to make his decision. He pressed the button.....nothing.*
Nelly: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Nelly drops to his knees.*
Nelly: I CHOSE THE WRONG ONE!!! GRAAAAAPE SOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAA!
*During all of this of course Nelly is too distracted to notice that the machine is telling him that it is out of grape and he should make another choice.*
*The door to Nelly's apartment opens and in walks Nelly, looking none the worse after having to settle for an orange soda. Randy gets up from off the couch.*
Randy: Ah! There you are! Say Nel, I wanted to bring something up.
Nelly: Yeah?
*Nelly starts to rifle through the fridge looking for food.*
Randy: Well, when we shot the mailbag segment, you did a pretty good job answering some of the more popular questions but...well...you totally left out a huge chunk of them.
*Our hero looks up and over at Randy.*
Nelly: What? The gay stuff?
Randy: Yeah, I mean, you get a ton of letters asking if you're gay.
Nelly: And?
Randy: Shouldn't you tell the viewers at home?
Nelly: I don't think the way I swing is important to wrestling.
Randy: I dunno Nel, I mean, if you're straight you could totally have used them to call Jimmy Zane gay. I mean, the guy is a freak.
*Nelly continues to look through the fridge.*
Nelly: Yeah, he is pretty- wait, did you just say IF?
Randy: That reminds me, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.
Nelly: Oh god...
*Nelly takes a sandwich out and starts eating it as Randy jumps to a standing position.*
Randy: Just hear me out a second.
*Some music out of nowhere plays.*
Randy: If you were gay,
That'd be OK.
I mean 'cause hey,
I like you anyway.
Because you see,
If it were me,
I would feel free to say
That I was gay.
-But I'm not gay.
Nelly: The music surely isn't helping that argument.
Randy: Shhh, just listen brother, I support you.
Nelly: What?
Randy: If you were queer,
I'd still be here
Year after year,
Because you're dear to me.
And I know that you,
Would accept me too,
If I told you today,
"Hey guess what I'm gay!"
-But I'm not gay.
Nelly: Oh for the love of-
Randy: I'm happy, just being with you.
So what should it matter to me,
What you do in bed with guys?
Nelly: WHAT?!
Randy: If you were gay,
I'd shout "Hooray!"
And here I'd stay
-But I wouldn't get in your way!
You can count on me,
To always be,
Beside you every day,
To tell you "it's ok,"
"You were just born that way,"
And as they say,
"It's in your DNA,"
You're gay!
Nelly: I'm not gay!
Randy: Well, if you were gay.
Nelly: Besides, if I am gay, and it's in my DNA, then it's in your DNA too.
*Cut to a close up of Randy's eyes as his pupils grow large with fear.*
Randy: Oh...dear...god...NOOOOOOOOOO!
*Randy runs out of the apartment.*
*Randy is looking into a mirror, his suit is oddly purple.*
Randy: Nah, this gay thing totally isn't working out.
Nelly: You're still on that?
*Nelly is on the couch watching TV as Randy walks in to the hallway (presumably to some room to change. Nelly gets at the edge of his seat.*
Nelly: Holy crap, he's going to find it, YES! THE CRYSTAL CAN OF WHOOP-ASS! Randy! Come out and see this!
*Suddenly Nelly's mood changes.*
Nelly: Uh-oh.
*Randy walks back on camera wearing his usual suit, he's adjusting his tie.*
Randy: What's wrong?
Nelly: He played it off as a dream sequence.
Randy: But...but that's what we were going to do.
Nelly: I know.
Randy: All that budget, all the special effects...shooting it twice.
Nelly: And he just beat us to the punch.
Randy: But now you don't have a third promo!
Nelly: I know.
Randy: SON OF A-
*Back to just moments later.*
Nelly: Well, I'll have to cut a promo of some sort.
Randy: Nooooooo! Boooooooriiiiiiiiinnnnnng!!!!
*The camera opens up on Nelly in his bedroom, he sits on his bed and looks at the camera.*
Nelly: You know Jimmy, we can go on and on about our match this Sunday, and in fact we have. We can talk the stuff, we can say the other guy eats babies or rapes women- or men, or whatever. We can fling mud at one another until we can't see any more and we just gum up our match. But let's be honest.
*Nelly sighs.*
Nelly: I know where you're at on this, and you know where I'm at. You wanna win, clear and simple. Easy enough. I wanna put on a great match, and I'd greatly prefer to win too. Not much different. At the very least we'll probably put on a good match and someone will win. More than that, if the match is good, the fans win to, so I'll be happy. Now then, let's talk about what Crossroads is all about.
*He holds up his hands as though they're scales.*
Nelly: It's time to pick your side of the road. Revolution, or Resistance. Even I have to make this choice. The reason why is because in a war it's clear that everyone will fight. If you try to get in the middle though, you'll just fight both sides, so you're better off picking a horse and hoping it wins and what you want gets done. Now you've said you'll fight the Revolution, but why Jimmy? Is it because of Burns? Is it because you believe what AJ and Steve say? You need to be able to back up your reasoning. You say they're in your way, but how? What is it that you believe in with wrestling?
*Nelly puts his hands down.*
Nelly: Me? I believe that years and years ago, back when most wrestlers were out of shape old men, that there was something different about this sport. Back then it wasn't about the gold, the glory, or any of that. It was about the spirit of competition. A lot of people think that because I don't care if I win or lose means I'm not competitive. I am. Of course I wanna win matches. But if I lose, I'm not gonna pout. I'm gonna get back up and get back in the ring, because competition says that you'll win some, and you'll lose some. But a lot of winners don't get remembered. No, it's the guys who tear up the ring and leave a lasting impression on the business, they're remembered. I wanna be remembered. I also want wrestling to be remembered, so I want all of us to do our best to tear up that ring. Let's put wrestling back on the map.
*Another sigh.*
Nelly: Unfortunately, I'm not sure which side represents how I feel the best. My gut reaction was to jump out of the Resistance based on its leadership, but it's not like the Revolution has anything better going on. Maybe I made a mistake. However, it's clear I can't walk the middle row, so at Crossroads, you'll find out where I stand in all of this. But first and foremost Jimmy, I'm going out there to put on a good match, and hopefully win. So you better be ready for the same thing. I'll see you Sunday.
*Nelly gets up, goes to his closet, takes off his red shirt and pitches it to the side, then puts on a white shirt and leaves the room. The camera fades.*
What to wear
*Nelly Angel is standing in front of his closet. There is a frighteningly large amount of bright colored t-shirts and jeans hanging up.*
Nelly: Hmm, let's go with red.
*He takes a red shirt and a pair of jeans out of the closet.*
What to eat for breakfast
*Randy Angel rolls off of Nelly Angel's couch on a lovely mid-afternoon. He lurches into the kitchen nook where Nelly is already cooking some food.*
Randy: What is that?
Nelly: Bacon.
Randy: Can I have some?
Nelly: Of course, I made it for you, since I hate hours ago.
Randy: Sweet.
The best way to exercise
*We jump to a few minutes later, Nelly is standing at the door.*
Nelly: Randy, I'm gonna go for a walk, I'll be back in a bit, ok?
*The camera moves to the kitchen nook where Randy is somehow standing up, but also passed out into his plate of bacon.*
What to drink
*Randy has a large pile of booze in front of him as he contemplates what to drink.*
Randy: Hmmm, lemme think. "Bring me two pina coladas, I gotta have one for each hand, something something something, oh and never leave dry land." Well that sounds promising.
*He yells.*
Randy: Nelly! What is in pina coladas?
*No answer.*
Randy: Darn it. Hmmmm, sounds sorta Mexican. Mexican means...tequila.
*He grabs a bottle and chugs a little.*
Randy: Wooooo!
How to spend seventy-five cents
*Nelly is standing at a pop machine, he puts his coins in and looks at the choices of canned yummyness.*
Nelly: C'moooon, c'mooon, be a winner...
*The owner of the store that the machine is next to walks out.*
Owner: Um, Nelly, this isn't like a slot machine, you'll always win.
Nelly: No, I've lost before.
Owner: Wha...huh?
*The owner shakes his head as he walks back into his store. Nelly meanwhile goes to make his decision. He pressed the button.....nothing.*
Nelly: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Nelly drops to his knees.*
Nelly: I CHOSE THE WRONG ONE!!! GRAAAAAPE SOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAA!
*During all of this of course Nelly is too distracted to notice that the machine is telling him that it is out of grape and he should make another choice.*
Sexual preference
*The door to Nelly's apartment opens and in walks Nelly, looking none the worse after having to settle for an orange soda. Randy gets up from off the couch.*
Randy: Ah! There you are! Say Nel, I wanted to bring something up.
Nelly: Yeah?
*Nelly starts to rifle through the fridge looking for food.*
Randy: Well, when we shot the mailbag segment, you did a pretty good job answering some of the more popular questions but...well...you totally left out a huge chunk of them.
*Our hero looks up and over at Randy.*
Nelly: What? The gay stuff?
Randy: Yeah, I mean, you get a ton of letters asking if you're gay.
Nelly: And?
Randy: Shouldn't you tell the viewers at home?
Nelly: I don't think the way I swing is important to wrestling.
Randy: I dunno Nel, I mean, if you're straight you could totally have used them to call Jimmy Zane gay. I mean, the guy is a freak.
*Nelly continues to look through the fridge.*
Nelly: Yeah, he is pretty- wait, did you just say IF?
Randy: That reminds me, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.
Nelly: Oh god...
*Nelly takes a sandwich out and starts eating it as Randy jumps to a standing position.*
Randy: Just hear me out a second.
*Some music out of nowhere plays.*
Randy: If you were gay,
That'd be OK.
I mean 'cause hey,
I like you anyway.
Because you see,
If it were me,
I would feel free to say
That I was gay.
-But I'm not gay.
Nelly: The music surely isn't helping that argument.
Randy: Shhh, just listen brother, I support you.
Nelly: What?
Randy: If you were queer,
I'd still be here
Year after year,
Because you're dear to me.
And I know that you,
Would accept me too,
If I told you today,
"Hey guess what I'm gay!"
-But I'm not gay.
Nelly: Oh for the love of-
Randy: I'm happy, just being with you.
So what should it matter to me,
What you do in bed with guys?
Nelly: WHAT?!
Randy: If you were gay,
I'd shout "Hooray!"
And here I'd stay
-But I wouldn't get in your way!
You can count on me,
To always be,
Beside you every day,
To tell you "it's ok,"
"You were just born that way,"
And as they say,
"It's in your DNA,"
You're gay!
Nelly: I'm not gay!
Randy: Well, if you were gay.
Nelly: Besides, if I am gay, and it's in my DNA, then it's in your DNA too.
*Cut to a close up of Randy's eyes as his pupils grow large with fear.*
Randy: Oh...dear...god...NOOOOOOOOOO!
*Randy runs out of the apartment.*
Whether or not to watch Jimmy Zane's latest promo
*Randy is looking into a mirror, his suit is oddly purple.*
Randy: Nah, this gay thing totally isn't working out.
Nelly: You're still on that?
*Nelly is on the couch watching TV as Randy walks in to the hallway (presumably to some room to change. Nelly gets at the edge of his seat.*
Nelly: Holy crap, he's going to find it, YES! THE CRYSTAL CAN OF WHOOP-ASS! Randy! Come out and see this!
*Suddenly Nelly's mood changes.*
Nelly: Uh-oh.
*Randy walks back on camera wearing his usual suit, he's adjusting his tie.*
Randy: What's wrong?
Nelly: He played it off as a dream sequence.
Randy: But...but that's what we were going to do.
Nelly: I know.
Randy: All that budget, all the special effects...shooting it twice.
Nelly: And he just beat us to the punch.
Randy: But now you don't have a third promo!
Nelly: I know.
Randy: SON OF A-
What to do about this situation
*Back to just moments later.*
Nelly: Well, I'll have to cut a promo of some sort.
Randy: Nooooooo! Boooooooriiiiiiiiinnnnnng!!!!
Which side to be on
*The camera opens up on Nelly in his bedroom, he sits on his bed and looks at the camera.*
Nelly: You know Jimmy, we can go on and on about our match this Sunday, and in fact we have. We can talk the stuff, we can say the other guy eats babies or rapes women- or men, or whatever. We can fling mud at one another until we can't see any more and we just gum up our match. But let's be honest.
*Nelly sighs.*
Nelly: I know where you're at on this, and you know where I'm at. You wanna win, clear and simple. Easy enough. I wanna put on a great match, and I'd greatly prefer to win too. Not much different. At the very least we'll probably put on a good match and someone will win. More than that, if the match is good, the fans win to, so I'll be happy. Now then, let's talk about what Crossroads is all about.
*He holds up his hands as though they're scales.*
Nelly: It's time to pick your side of the road. Revolution, or Resistance. Even I have to make this choice. The reason why is because in a war it's clear that everyone will fight. If you try to get in the middle though, you'll just fight both sides, so you're better off picking a horse and hoping it wins and what you want gets done. Now you've said you'll fight the Revolution, but why Jimmy? Is it because of Burns? Is it because you believe what AJ and Steve say? You need to be able to back up your reasoning. You say they're in your way, but how? What is it that you believe in with wrestling?
*Nelly puts his hands down.*
Nelly: Me? I believe that years and years ago, back when most wrestlers were out of shape old men, that there was something different about this sport. Back then it wasn't about the gold, the glory, or any of that. It was about the spirit of competition. A lot of people think that because I don't care if I win or lose means I'm not competitive. I am. Of course I wanna win matches. But if I lose, I'm not gonna pout. I'm gonna get back up and get back in the ring, because competition says that you'll win some, and you'll lose some. But a lot of winners don't get remembered. No, it's the guys who tear up the ring and leave a lasting impression on the business, they're remembered. I wanna be remembered. I also want wrestling to be remembered, so I want all of us to do our best to tear up that ring. Let's put wrestling back on the map.
*Another sigh.*
Nelly: Unfortunately, I'm not sure which side represents how I feel the best. My gut reaction was to jump out of the Resistance based on its leadership, but it's not like the Revolution has anything better going on. Maybe I made a mistake. However, it's clear I can't walk the middle row, so at Crossroads, you'll find out where I stand in all of this. But first and foremost Jimmy, I'm going out there to put on a good match, and hopefully win. So you better be ready for the same thing. I'll see you Sunday.
*Nelly gets up, goes to his closet, takes off his red shirt and pitches it to the side, then puts on a white shirt and leaves the room. The camera fades.*