Post by Markus E. Reeves on Feb 15, 2009 3:31:54 GMT -6
*Enter Mark Evil standing outside of his brand new yacht. The HMS Xtreme. He looks around to all the people*
Mark Evil: Everyone, welcome to the HMS Xtreme. The most luxurious yacht in all of America. Due to some activities that will be going on we will have to head for international waters. Does Everyone have there passports?
*The Crowd Laughs*
Mark Evil: Right answer. Now everyone on to the yacht.
*The crowd rushes onto the yacht*
Mark Evil: You gotta love the yacht.
*Mark gets onto the yacht and few minutes later it leaves the harbor and ends up in International waters*
Mark Evil: Everyone out in nCw land. Welcome to the pride and joy of Mark Evil. The HMS Xtreme. The yacht that cost me 30 million dollars to buy. It has gold toilets and sinks. In fact it has over a ton of gold in here. Now while were out here having a good time I will answer some questions that you, the nCw fans.
*Mark opens up the first email*
Mark Evil: This one comes from Joe Everyman from Washington D.C. He writes "So I hear you have a big hardcore match. You aren't gonna choke like you did against me right?"
*Mark looks at the letter and lights it on fire*
Mark Evil: Stupid ****er. Alright the next letter is from Katie from Ottawa.
*Mark looks worried about this one*
Mark Evil: She writes "So Mark how come you just left Ottawa without telling me? I just want you to know that I'm pregnant and its all your fault you stupid ass. I can't believe I let you touch me...."
*Mark quits reading the letter and throws it away*
Mark Evil: Well you heard it here first. I'm going to a dad...again. Well luckily I'll never see her again.
*Suddenly a woman taps Mark on the shoulder*
Katie: Hey Mark.
Mark Evil: ****!
Katie: Whats wrong sweety. Didn't you miss me?
Mark Evil: Who are you? I don't know you.
Katie: Sure you do Mark. We had sex last week. You got me pregnant you ****ing asshole.
Mark Evil: You can't prove that I did it. Knowing your skanky looking ass I bet you ended up having sex with everyone at that party.
Katie: I didn't. I only wanted you Mark. I Love You Mark. I wan't to be with you forever.
Mark Evil: Uh...Excuse me for a second.
*Mark walks away and finds a random blonde chick*
Mark Evil: Miss can you help me for a second.
Girl: What do you need?
Mark Evil: I was wondering if you could pretend to be my fiancee?
Girl: I could do that. I saw what that chick did to you last week. I would nothing more then to help you out.
Mark Evil: ****. She is coming over. What's your name?
Girl: Allison...Allison Chainz.
Mark Evil: You mean like the band?
Allison: Yeah. My dad is a big fan of them.
Mark Evil: Your atleast 18 right?
Allison: Yeah I'm 19.
Katie: So who is this skank?
Mark Evil: This is my fiancee Allison Chainz.
Katie: You mean like the band?
Allison: Yeah. What's it to ya bitch.
Katie: Don't call me the bitch. Mark just came over to break up with you because he is in love with me.
Mark Evil: I'm about as in love with you Katie as Bob Grenier is in love with sobriety.
*A rim shot is heard*
Katie: You mean the Bob Grenier that you are facing tonight?
Mark Evil: Yeah the prince of asslicking himself.
Katie: Don't call him that. He is my new favorite wrestler.
Mark Evil: You are serious?
Katie: Yeah. He is twice the wrestler you are.
Mark Evil: Well you think he is twice the wrestler that I am. Well thats ok if you think that because I'm twice the man that he is.
Katie: Don't say that about Bob.
*Katie goes to hit Mark who dodges it. Allison then tackles Katie and starts to slam her head into the ground. Joey Styles then shows up out of no where*
Joey Style: CAT FIGHT!
Mark Evil: You damn right Joey. I knew I invited you for something.
*Mark and everyone continue to watch the women pound on each other. He then steps in a breaks up the fight*
Mark Evil: Ladies there is only one way to settle this. Everyone to the top deck...its Jello Wrestling Time.
*Everyone is now standing up on the top deck. Katie has some new guy with her. She then kisses some random chick. Ron Simmons then shows up.*
Ron Simmons: DAMN!
Mark Evil: I knew she was a whore...I just didn't think she whored herself out to other chicks.
*Joe Everyman then shows with a Solo cup of beer.*
Mark Evil: Joe...what are you doing here?
*Joe takes a drink*
Joe Everyman: Well with Maria being pregnant and it being Valentines Day and she doesn't want to have sex. I got to get my jollies some way.
Mark Evil: Fair enough
Joe Everyman: Just don't tell Maria I was here. She will kill me.
Mark Evil: Don't worry Joe. She has no rule over you here. First of all you are at international water plus you no reside on soveriegnt land known as Evilland.
Joe Everyman: Good to know.
*The people all start to surround the ring filled with jello*
Mark Evil: Ladies and Gentleman. I welcome you to the main event of the evening. The Rules are simple. The first woman to remove the other one from the jello area is the winner and will be crowned the HMS Xtreme Woman's Jello Wrestling Champion. Standing on my right from Ottawa, Ontario Canada. "Krazy" Katie.
*The crowd boos her*
Mark Evil: Now standing on my left. From Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Allison Chainz.
*The crowd cheers loudly for her. Mark then rings the bell and the match is underway.*
*Allison locks up Katie and then slips. Jello goes everywhere and the guys go crazy. Allison then locks a submission on Katie and starts to push her over the barrier. Mark then assists Allison in Eliminating Katie from the match.*
Mark Evil: Here is your winner and first ever HMS Xtreme Women's Jello Wrestling Champion. Allison Chains!
*Mark then raises her hand but then he gets attacked by the guy who Katie was with.*
Guy: You ****ing cheated! You caused my new girl to lose to that tattooed gutter slut Allison.
*The guy continues to stomp on Mark. Everyman then distracts the guy enough so that Mark is able to get up to his hands and knees. Suddenly Allison runs and jumps off of Mark and hits a picture perfect Poetry in Motion on the guy and knocks him flat on his ass. She then helps Mark to his feet.*
Mark Evil: Thanks Allison.
Allison Chains: You're welcome Mark. Now finish him off.
*Mark then stands up and walks over to the guy. He quickly kicks him in the side and the guy rolls a few feet away. He slowly starts to get up and then Mark kicks him in the face. Allison then hands Mark some barbed wire. Mark then wraps his right leg with the barbed wire. Mark then climbs up ladder to and a deck that is 7 feet above the rest of the people. Allison then pulls the guys legs back towards his head. Mark then jumps off and hits a leg drop with his right leg to the guys groin. The guy then rolls around in pain.
Joey Styles: OH MY GAAAAWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!
*Mark then picks up the man and throws him overboard. The whole crowd cheers for Mark. Mark then raises his arms into the air and the crowd cheers louder. Allison then come up and hugs Mark's mid section*
Allison Chainz: Great job Mark.
Mark Evil: Thanks babe.
Allison Chainz: Hey if you ever come back to Toronto you should call me up.
*Allison then hands Mark a piece of paper with her phone number on it*
Mark Evil: How about this Allison. How about you travel the world with me and be my manager. In fact I could probably teach you to wrestle and maybe I can get Leonard Fox to let you sign a contract.
Allison Chainz: You would really do that for me?
Mark Evil: Yeah. You seem like a cool girl.
*Just then Katie attacks Mark from behind with a lead pipe and lays him out. Allison then kicks Katie and lifts her up into a double underhook position before hitting a Tiger Driver on her. Allison the rushes back to Mark Evil's side*
Allision Chainz: Are you OK Mark?
Mark Evil: Yeah I'm fine. She does hit harder then Bob Grenier.
*Allison laughs*
Mark Evil: Damn I need to get some sleep. I got a big night tonight.
Allison Chainz: Do you have any room for me?
Mark Evil: Of course I do. I sleep in the Captains quarters. It's the size of a small house.
*Mark point Allison to the room and Mark then walks over to a small crowd that has amassed on the deck. It is a dog fighting ring that is being set up by Micheal Vick*
Mark Evil: Strange. I though Vick was in Federal Prison.
*Mark then shrugs it off and heads to his room. The scene then fades to black and words appear on the screen saying*
She seems dressed in all the rings
Of past fatalities
So fragile yet so devious
She continues to see it
Climatic hands that press
Her temples and my chest
Enter the night that she came home
Forever
Mark Evil: Everyone, welcome to the HMS Xtreme. The most luxurious yacht in all of America. Due to some activities that will be going on we will have to head for international waters. Does Everyone have there passports?
*The Crowd Laughs*
Mark Evil: Right answer. Now everyone on to the yacht.
*The crowd rushes onto the yacht*
Mark Evil: You gotta love the yacht.
*Mark gets onto the yacht and few minutes later it leaves the harbor and ends up in International waters*
Mark Evil: Everyone out in nCw land. Welcome to the pride and joy of Mark Evil. The HMS Xtreme. The yacht that cost me 30 million dollars to buy. It has gold toilets and sinks. In fact it has over a ton of gold in here. Now while were out here having a good time I will answer some questions that you, the nCw fans.
*Mark opens up the first email*
Mark Evil: This one comes from Joe Everyman from Washington D.C. He writes "So I hear you have a big hardcore match. You aren't gonna choke like you did against me right?"
*Mark looks at the letter and lights it on fire*
Mark Evil: Stupid ****er. Alright the next letter is from Katie from Ottawa.
*Mark looks worried about this one*
Mark Evil: She writes "So Mark how come you just left Ottawa without telling me? I just want you to know that I'm pregnant and its all your fault you stupid ass. I can't believe I let you touch me...."
*Mark quits reading the letter and throws it away*
Mark Evil: Well you heard it here first. I'm going to a dad...again. Well luckily I'll never see her again.
*Suddenly a woman taps Mark on the shoulder*
Katie: Hey Mark.
Mark Evil: ****!
Katie: Whats wrong sweety. Didn't you miss me?
Mark Evil: Who are you? I don't know you.
Katie: Sure you do Mark. We had sex last week. You got me pregnant you ****ing asshole.
Mark Evil: You can't prove that I did it. Knowing your skanky looking ass I bet you ended up having sex with everyone at that party.
Katie: I didn't. I only wanted you Mark. I Love You Mark. I wan't to be with you forever.
Mark Evil: Uh...Excuse me for a second.
*Mark walks away and finds a random blonde chick*
Mark Evil: Miss can you help me for a second.
Girl: What do you need?
Mark Evil: I was wondering if you could pretend to be my fiancee?
Girl: I could do that. I saw what that chick did to you last week. I would nothing more then to help you out.
Mark Evil: ****. She is coming over. What's your name?
Girl: Allison...Allison Chainz.
Mark Evil: You mean like the band?
Allison: Yeah. My dad is a big fan of them.
Mark Evil: Your atleast 18 right?
Allison: Yeah I'm 19.
Katie: So who is this skank?
Mark Evil: This is my fiancee Allison Chainz.
Katie: You mean like the band?
Allison: Yeah. What's it to ya bitch.
Katie: Don't call me the bitch. Mark just came over to break up with you because he is in love with me.
Mark Evil: I'm about as in love with you Katie as Bob Grenier is in love with sobriety.
*A rim shot is heard*
Katie: You mean the Bob Grenier that you are facing tonight?
Mark Evil: Yeah the prince of asslicking himself.
Katie: Don't call him that. He is my new favorite wrestler.
Mark Evil: You are serious?
Katie: Yeah. He is twice the wrestler you are.
Mark Evil: Well you think he is twice the wrestler that I am. Well thats ok if you think that because I'm twice the man that he is.
Katie: Don't say that about Bob.
*Katie goes to hit Mark who dodges it. Allison then tackles Katie and starts to slam her head into the ground. Joey Styles then shows up out of no where*
Joey Style: CAT FIGHT!
Mark Evil: You damn right Joey. I knew I invited you for something.
*Mark and everyone continue to watch the women pound on each other. He then steps in a breaks up the fight*
Mark Evil: Ladies there is only one way to settle this. Everyone to the top deck...its Jello Wrestling Time.
*Everyone is now standing up on the top deck. Katie has some new guy with her. She then kisses some random chick. Ron Simmons then shows up.*
Ron Simmons: DAMN!
Mark Evil: I knew she was a whore...I just didn't think she whored herself out to other chicks.
*Joe Everyman then shows with a Solo cup of beer.*
Mark Evil: Joe...what are you doing here?
*Joe takes a drink*
Joe Everyman: Well with Maria being pregnant and it being Valentines Day and she doesn't want to have sex. I got to get my jollies some way.
Mark Evil: Fair enough
Joe Everyman: Just don't tell Maria I was here. She will kill me.
Mark Evil: Don't worry Joe. She has no rule over you here. First of all you are at international water plus you no reside on soveriegnt land known as Evilland.
Joe Everyman: Good to know.
*The people all start to surround the ring filled with jello*
Mark Evil: Ladies and Gentleman. I welcome you to the main event of the evening. The Rules are simple. The first woman to remove the other one from the jello area is the winner and will be crowned the HMS Xtreme Woman's Jello Wrestling Champion. Standing on my right from Ottawa, Ontario Canada. "Krazy" Katie.
*The crowd boos her*
Mark Evil: Now standing on my left. From Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Allison Chainz.
*The crowd cheers loudly for her. Mark then rings the bell and the match is underway.*
*Allison locks up Katie and then slips. Jello goes everywhere and the guys go crazy. Allison then locks a submission on Katie and starts to push her over the barrier. Mark then assists Allison in Eliminating Katie from the match.*
Mark Evil: Here is your winner and first ever HMS Xtreme Women's Jello Wrestling Champion. Allison Chains!
*Mark then raises her hand but then he gets attacked by the guy who Katie was with.*
Guy: You ****ing cheated! You caused my new girl to lose to that tattooed gutter slut Allison.
*The guy continues to stomp on Mark. Everyman then distracts the guy enough so that Mark is able to get up to his hands and knees. Suddenly Allison runs and jumps off of Mark and hits a picture perfect Poetry in Motion on the guy and knocks him flat on his ass. She then helps Mark to his feet.*
Mark Evil: Thanks Allison.
Allison Chains: You're welcome Mark. Now finish him off.
*Mark then stands up and walks over to the guy. He quickly kicks him in the side and the guy rolls a few feet away. He slowly starts to get up and then Mark kicks him in the face. Allison then hands Mark some barbed wire. Mark then wraps his right leg with the barbed wire. Mark then climbs up ladder to and a deck that is 7 feet above the rest of the people. Allison then pulls the guys legs back towards his head. Mark then jumps off and hits a leg drop with his right leg to the guys groin. The guy then rolls around in pain.
Joey Styles: OH MY GAAAAWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!
*Mark then picks up the man and throws him overboard. The whole crowd cheers for Mark. Mark then raises his arms into the air and the crowd cheers louder. Allison then come up and hugs Mark's mid section*
Allison Chainz: Great job Mark.
Mark Evil: Thanks babe.
Allison Chainz: Hey if you ever come back to Toronto you should call me up.
*Allison then hands Mark a piece of paper with her phone number on it*
Mark Evil: How about this Allison. How about you travel the world with me and be my manager. In fact I could probably teach you to wrestle and maybe I can get Leonard Fox to let you sign a contract.
Allison Chainz: You would really do that for me?
Mark Evil: Yeah. You seem like a cool girl.
*Just then Katie attacks Mark from behind with a lead pipe and lays him out. Allison then kicks Katie and lifts her up into a double underhook position before hitting a Tiger Driver on her. Allison the rushes back to Mark Evil's side*
Allision Chainz: Are you OK Mark?
Mark Evil: Yeah I'm fine. She does hit harder then Bob Grenier.
*Allison laughs*
Mark Evil: Damn I need to get some sleep. I got a big night tonight.
Allison Chainz: Do you have any room for me?
Mark Evil: Of course I do. I sleep in the Captains quarters. It's the size of a small house.
*Mark point Allison to the room and Mark then walks over to a small crowd that has amassed on the deck. It is a dog fighting ring that is being set up by Micheal Vick*
Mark Evil: Strange. I though Vick was in Federal Prison.
*Mark then shrugs it off and heads to his room. The scene then fades to black and words appear on the screen saying*
She seems dressed in all the rings
Of past fatalities
So fragile yet so devious
She continues to see it
Climatic hands that press
Her temples and my chest
Enter the night that she came home
Forever