Post by Angel on Mar 19, 2009 19:08:46 GMT -6
"How you have fallen from heaven, O morning star, son of the dawn."
When I got home last night, Shelly and Hayleigh were already in bed, asleep. I wanted to wake them, to hold them, I wanted to tell them I loved them more than anything.
I think for maybe the first time in a long time I was afraid.
This match... it isn't just a match... This match will decide the future of this company.
If any member of the Resistance wins, if Adam is thwarted, the balance of power will shift, we will be seen as weak, and once our weakness is revealed, the predators will strike.
nCw isn't stupid, their just waiting, and they know if we lose they'll have their shot. They'll have free reign to do to us as they please.
But my pending penance isn't what frightens me, I look forward to paying for my sins... What frightens me is what I'm going to do once I'm in that ring and the bell rings.
Defend the Revolution, defend Adam Knite, and finally put an end to this war which has claimed too many souls already... Or do I defend myself and my own pride, forsaking the company and the man that saved me from the darkness.
I don't have an answer, I don't know, and it scares me...
( Tuesday, March 17th, 2009, 9:00 AM. It's a cold morning in Connecticut, colder than you'd think in March. But the cold doesn't bother Angel, he's used to it. We find him outside, wearing jeans and a black Converse turtle neck coat. In between his two hands is a cup of coffee. His face looks clam, masking the worry behind his eyes. )
Angel: nCw has become a confusing place. The ones who sat out and watched, they don't truly understand how difficult the decision to fight is. You give up allot of things when you take up arms against your brothers to defend your beliefs.... But thats just it, who are we to tell you that your wrong?
( Angel turns to look at us, to address us properly. )
Angel: The simple answer is, we are the ones in power, we are the ones who got sick of seeing Steve Awesome, Spike Kane, Trent Helms, and all the other leeches suck this company dry. We are the ones who stood up and decided if no one else was going to stop them, we would. Sure, Spike was friends with some people, but he had more than enough enemies, he wronged more than enough people, and he did it all for what? He did it all for nothing. Whats the use of titles and main events if when you get there your all alone? Spike shunned his family, betrayed those closest to him. Spike Kane was a plague and I don't feel sorry for him. I didn't take him out, but I promise you that given the chance, I would have.
( Angel reflects for a moment on the last time we saw Spike, bloody, beaten, defeated. )
Angel: When this whole war started we promised to fix nCw, to end the tyrannical strangle hold that Helms and Awesome and Kane had on it. We promised to bring back honor, respect, we promised to unite nCw under a single banner, and that banner was supposed to be the one waved against us. We wanted you to Resist, we wanted you to win, we wanted you to stop us, to stand up for yourselves, to do what you were scared to do but knew in your heart had to be done.
( He looks away, thinking, trying to find the words. )
Angel: But once Kane and Helms were gone and Awesome was knocked from atop his pillar, we suddenly found ourselves in a place of power, we found ourselves in control. I know allot of people see me in allot of different ways, but my dedication to this company has never been in question. I demanded someone fight us, I demanded someone stop us, I stood atop nCw and I waited for someone to rise up and strike me down. When no one did I went looking for a challenge. First Jimmy Zane, he won a small victory, he showed me there was still hope for our vision, then Ortega and Manson... The hope I found in Zane was lost on Upper Echelon... because instead of manning up and fighting us like everyone thought they would, they ran away from me... by my count, for the second time each. Then my savior AJ Phoenix, despite his bad luck, despite being out manned and out gunned, he stood up, he had finally had enough, and he made sure to bring friends.
( A small smile parts the lips of Angel as he stares past the camera. )
Angel: AJ has come riding in on a white horse, promising to be the white knight nCw most desperately needs. Your so close now, victory is literally within your grasp, our original vision for nCw is so close to being a reality that I can hardly believe it... But theres one problem... Absolute power corrupts... Absolutely... And when I look around at the Revolution, I get the distinct feeling that we're no longer praying to lose this war and restore what Spike, Trent and Steve brutally took from nCw... Honor... When I look at Kelly Fox and Adam Knite I feel a knot in my stomach, I feel a sickness inside, and I know that no matter what happens, they will not give up their power. Despite their speeches, despite their pleas to the roster, they don't want to lose what they have and their relying on Burns and me to make sure they keep it. So that bares a question, what will I fight for Sunday? I will fight for the Revolution, I will fight for what we stand for, I will fight to show nCw that our ideals have not been lost, that we are not the bad guys, I will stand up and I will save nCw.
( Behind Angel we hear a door open and close, foot steps, we turn to see Shelly, Angel's wife, wearing a plain black sweater and jeans. She looks at her husband with affection and concern, worried that his will to fight for what he believes in may have been broken. She doesn't know what to think anymore. He says he fights for the Revolution, but does that mean when it comes down to him and Adam, like it will, is he going to fight or will he give up? )
Shelly: Is it true Angel?
Angel: What?
Shelly: Did Kelly really ask you to make sure Adam wins?
Angel: Yes.
Shelly: Tell me your not going to do it, Angel please tell me your not going to be his puppet anymore. Dear God Angel, you helped these people, you bled for these people, you saved the Revolution from the brink of destruction, and this is how they repay you? Tell me you told her to go to hell.
( Angel doesn't respond, he can't. )
Shelly: You... agreed?
Angel: I didn't do anything, I didn't agree to anything.
Shelly: Whats wrong with you? What the hell are you doing? This is your dream Angel, theres nothing to think about.
Angel: And if I betray the Revolution, if I betray my friends, if I betray my beliefs I could wind up jobless, and be no better than that bastard Spike Kane.
Shelly: Your friends Angel? You mean the people who want you to give up? The people who are asking you to turn your back on your dreams? Angel, their not your friends. I know nCw is important to you, but you can wrestle somewhere else.
Angel: There is no where else.
Shelly: You said the same thing about PWW, then you found nCw. Angel, if you go through with this, if you sacrifice your dreams Sunday, then your only betraying yourself.
Angel: What about the Revolution, should I just forget about what we've fought for all these months, should I just pretend Adam hasn't been my close friend, should I just turn my back on them?
Shelly: This isn't about the Revolution anymore. Look at what Adam has done to you, to your friends. Falcon has tormented Steve Awesome for months, Nelly Angel has become everything he ever fought against, Harold is literally a giant hand puppet in a mask, and Phil, he is so blinded by Adam and his lies that he actually wants to take out Leonard Fox, a man I know for a fact he once called "friend." Adam has corrupted you, twisted you, he has taken what each of you stood for, what each of you believed in and he somehow managed to mutilate it into something dark and sinister, something that only serves him.
( The look of pain in Shelly's eyes is obvious. )
Shelly: Your not the man I married anymore, you've become some... something else... I promised you the day Hayleigh was born that I'd stand by your side no matter what you did in life... But... I don't think I can stand by you as you willingly march into Hell with Adam leading the way.
( Angel steps forward, reaching out with his right hand, but Shelly moves, that one simple move sends Angel reeling internally, his heart and soul bind as he realizes what Shelly is saying. )
Shelly: I love you, but I've had enough of this Angel. I can't do it anymore, I can't watch you throw away everything you believe in for Adam. This isn't the Revolution, this isn't what you fought so hard for, this war has become a way for Adam Knite to solidify his name among the greats of nCw...
( Angel is simply speechless. )
Shelly: Angel, tell me right now when you get in that ring your going to do everything in your power to win that match. Look me in the eyes and tell me all you have on your mind is winning this match and going on to win the World title. For Christ's sake, it's all you used to dream about, holding that title above your head just one time. You almost ended our marriage for that title, you literally walked out on me for that title, and now your telling me your just going to hand it over to Adam without a fight?
Angel: I... don't know...
Shelly: Fight Angel... if not for me, then for yourself...
Angel: I'm fighting for something so much greater than myself Shelly, I'm fighting for nCw, for the future, I'm...
Shelly: Fighting for Adam?
( Angel looks away because he knows Shelly is right. He's just repeating to her the very things he tells himself, except this time its not making it better. )
Shelly: I don't know who you are anymore. The Angel I married would get in that Coliseum with every expectation of winning and he wouldn't stop until either he did win or he died trying. Whoever you are, I think it's time for you to go.
Angel: Please...
( Tears well up in Angel's eyes. )
Shelly: Destroy Adam Knite.
Angel: What?
Shelly: Tell me your going to destroy Adam Knite and put an end to this Revolution. Tell me your going to be the man that chased Spike Kane all over the country, that tried to kill Xavier Williams for the X-Division, that waged a war on everyone and anyone who hurt nCw, tell me your going to open your eyes and see that Adam Knite has become everything you swore to protect nCw from.
( Angel looks into Shelly's eyes, searching for the answer she wants to hear, but he knows no matter what he says, she will not believe it, and honestly, neither will he. He can only muster one response. )
Angel:.......
( He leans forward and kisses Shelly on the cheek. A tear drips down her face as Angel walks past her into the house to gather his things. In ten minutes Angel will be gone, on his way to Boston. In one hour he'll cross the boarder into Massachusetts. And later tonight, Shelly will cry herself to sleep. later tonight Hayleigh will scream for her daddy to put her to bed, later tonight Angel will stand on the side of the road and punch a brick wall until his hands bleed with tears streaming down his face in the dark, later tonight Adam Knite will make love to Kelly Fox thinking not of the woman underneath him or the life's the two of them have ruined together, later tonight he will think about the World Title and sacrificing his friends and his Revolution to accomplish his goal. Later tonight... )
I sold my soul to save nCw, to save the Revolution... and now I stand looking into the mouth of Hell...
In the Book of Revelations it is said that a knight will come and he will be the Word of God and he will defeat the Dragon and the false Prophet and they will be cast into the lake of fire for a thousand years.
I know I will be there in the end, I know the Revelations are upon us, but what roll will I take? The Word of God; Will I stand up and save nCw from the dragon who hopes to control it for all time, binding him and casting him into Hell to pay for his sins?
Or am I the false Prophet, bound to the Dragon, destined to lose this war and spend a thousand years in a lake of fire?
Either way... I think I may just take everyone to Hell with me....
Sunday I'm going to look the Devil in the eyes and I'm going to face my worst fear. The possibility that my career in nCw is over and this historic match may be my last.
You wanted me to fight the evil in this company, you wanted me to stand up for what I believe in, you wanted me to be the Arch Angel of nCw, laying waste to all those who prey upon her. Thats what you made me into, thats what you begged me to be, I am your monster, your creation, and I can do a great many things with no remorse, no feeling, no regret, with a smile on my face. I can cause pain and end careers, I can rise up and vanquish any foe, any threat to our cause. I have done everything you've asked me to do. The real question is, when this creation turns his sword of vengeance on you, will you be able to face your judgment?
Your star shined brighter than any other, you rivaled the very founders of this company, you have stopped at nothing to make your dreams a reality... and in the end the brightest stars fall the farthest.
"You said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.'
I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.
But you are brought down to the grave, to the depths of the pit."
The Prophet Isaiah
When I got home last night, Shelly and Hayleigh were already in bed, asleep. I wanted to wake them, to hold them, I wanted to tell them I loved them more than anything.
I think for maybe the first time in a long time I was afraid.
This match... it isn't just a match... This match will decide the future of this company.
If any member of the Resistance wins, if Adam is thwarted, the balance of power will shift, we will be seen as weak, and once our weakness is revealed, the predators will strike.
nCw isn't stupid, their just waiting, and they know if we lose they'll have their shot. They'll have free reign to do to us as they please.
But my pending penance isn't what frightens me, I look forward to paying for my sins... What frightens me is what I'm going to do once I'm in that ring and the bell rings.
Defend the Revolution, defend Adam Knite, and finally put an end to this war which has claimed too many souls already... Or do I defend myself and my own pride, forsaking the company and the man that saved me from the darkness.
I don't have an answer, I don't know, and it scares me...
( Tuesday, March 17th, 2009, 9:00 AM. It's a cold morning in Connecticut, colder than you'd think in March. But the cold doesn't bother Angel, he's used to it. We find him outside, wearing jeans and a black Converse turtle neck coat. In between his two hands is a cup of coffee. His face looks clam, masking the worry behind his eyes. )
Angel: nCw has become a confusing place. The ones who sat out and watched, they don't truly understand how difficult the decision to fight is. You give up allot of things when you take up arms against your brothers to defend your beliefs.... But thats just it, who are we to tell you that your wrong?
( Angel turns to look at us, to address us properly. )
Angel: The simple answer is, we are the ones in power, we are the ones who got sick of seeing Steve Awesome, Spike Kane, Trent Helms, and all the other leeches suck this company dry. We are the ones who stood up and decided if no one else was going to stop them, we would. Sure, Spike was friends with some people, but he had more than enough enemies, he wronged more than enough people, and he did it all for what? He did it all for nothing. Whats the use of titles and main events if when you get there your all alone? Spike shunned his family, betrayed those closest to him. Spike Kane was a plague and I don't feel sorry for him. I didn't take him out, but I promise you that given the chance, I would have.
( Angel reflects for a moment on the last time we saw Spike, bloody, beaten, defeated. )
Angel: When this whole war started we promised to fix nCw, to end the tyrannical strangle hold that Helms and Awesome and Kane had on it. We promised to bring back honor, respect, we promised to unite nCw under a single banner, and that banner was supposed to be the one waved against us. We wanted you to Resist, we wanted you to win, we wanted you to stop us, to stand up for yourselves, to do what you were scared to do but knew in your heart had to be done.
( He looks away, thinking, trying to find the words. )
Angel: But once Kane and Helms were gone and Awesome was knocked from atop his pillar, we suddenly found ourselves in a place of power, we found ourselves in control. I know allot of people see me in allot of different ways, but my dedication to this company has never been in question. I demanded someone fight us, I demanded someone stop us, I stood atop nCw and I waited for someone to rise up and strike me down. When no one did I went looking for a challenge. First Jimmy Zane, he won a small victory, he showed me there was still hope for our vision, then Ortega and Manson... The hope I found in Zane was lost on Upper Echelon... because instead of manning up and fighting us like everyone thought they would, they ran away from me... by my count, for the second time each. Then my savior AJ Phoenix, despite his bad luck, despite being out manned and out gunned, he stood up, he had finally had enough, and he made sure to bring friends.
( A small smile parts the lips of Angel as he stares past the camera. )
Angel: AJ has come riding in on a white horse, promising to be the white knight nCw most desperately needs. Your so close now, victory is literally within your grasp, our original vision for nCw is so close to being a reality that I can hardly believe it... But theres one problem... Absolute power corrupts... Absolutely... And when I look around at the Revolution, I get the distinct feeling that we're no longer praying to lose this war and restore what Spike, Trent and Steve brutally took from nCw... Honor... When I look at Kelly Fox and Adam Knite I feel a knot in my stomach, I feel a sickness inside, and I know that no matter what happens, they will not give up their power. Despite their speeches, despite their pleas to the roster, they don't want to lose what they have and their relying on Burns and me to make sure they keep it. So that bares a question, what will I fight for Sunday? I will fight for the Revolution, I will fight for what we stand for, I will fight to show nCw that our ideals have not been lost, that we are not the bad guys, I will stand up and I will save nCw.
( Behind Angel we hear a door open and close, foot steps, we turn to see Shelly, Angel's wife, wearing a plain black sweater and jeans. She looks at her husband with affection and concern, worried that his will to fight for what he believes in may have been broken. She doesn't know what to think anymore. He says he fights for the Revolution, but does that mean when it comes down to him and Adam, like it will, is he going to fight or will he give up? )
Shelly: Is it true Angel?
Angel: What?
Shelly: Did Kelly really ask you to make sure Adam wins?
Angel: Yes.
Shelly: Tell me your not going to do it, Angel please tell me your not going to be his puppet anymore. Dear God Angel, you helped these people, you bled for these people, you saved the Revolution from the brink of destruction, and this is how they repay you? Tell me you told her to go to hell.
( Angel doesn't respond, he can't. )
Shelly: You... agreed?
Angel: I didn't do anything, I didn't agree to anything.
Shelly: Whats wrong with you? What the hell are you doing? This is your dream Angel, theres nothing to think about.
Angel: And if I betray the Revolution, if I betray my friends, if I betray my beliefs I could wind up jobless, and be no better than that bastard Spike Kane.
Shelly: Your friends Angel? You mean the people who want you to give up? The people who are asking you to turn your back on your dreams? Angel, their not your friends. I know nCw is important to you, but you can wrestle somewhere else.
Angel: There is no where else.
Shelly: You said the same thing about PWW, then you found nCw. Angel, if you go through with this, if you sacrifice your dreams Sunday, then your only betraying yourself.
Angel: What about the Revolution, should I just forget about what we've fought for all these months, should I just pretend Adam hasn't been my close friend, should I just turn my back on them?
Shelly: This isn't about the Revolution anymore. Look at what Adam has done to you, to your friends. Falcon has tormented Steve Awesome for months, Nelly Angel has become everything he ever fought against, Harold is literally a giant hand puppet in a mask, and Phil, he is so blinded by Adam and his lies that he actually wants to take out Leonard Fox, a man I know for a fact he once called "friend." Adam has corrupted you, twisted you, he has taken what each of you stood for, what each of you believed in and he somehow managed to mutilate it into something dark and sinister, something that only serves him.
( The look of pain in Shelly's eyes is obvious. )
Shelly: Your not the man I married anymore, you've become some... something else... I promised you the day Hayleigh was born that I'd stand by your side no matter what you did in life... But... I don't think I can stand by you as you willingly march into Hell with Adam leading the way.
( Angel steps forward, reaching out with his right hand, but Shelly moves, that one simple move sends Angel reeling internally, his heart and soul bind as he realizes what Shelly is saying. )
Shelly: I love you, but I've had enough of this Angel. I can't do it anymore, I can't watch you throw away everything you believe in for Adam. This isn't the Revolution, this isn't what you fought so hard for, this war has become a way for Adam Knite to solidify his name among the greats of nCw...
( Angel is simply speechless. )
Shelly: Angel, tell me right now when you get in that ring your going to do everything in your power to win that match. Look me in the eyes and tell me all you have on your mind is winning this match and going on to win the World title. For Christ's sake, it's all you used to dream about, holding that title above your head just one time. You almost ended our marriage for that title, you literally walked out on me for that title, and now your telling me your just going to hand it over to Adam without a fight?
Angel: I... don't know...
Shelly: Fight Angel... if not for me, then for yourself...
Angel: I'm fighting for something so much greater than myself Shelly, I'm fighting for nCw, for the future, I'm...
Shelly: Fighting for Adam?
( Angel looks away because he knows Shelly is right. He's just repeating to her the very things he tells himself, except this time its not making it better. )
Shelly: I don't know who you are anymore. The Angel I married would get in that Coliseum with every expectation of winning and he wouldn't stop until either he did win or he died trying. Whoever you are, I think it's time for you to go.
Angel: Please...
( Tears well up in Angel's eyes. )
Shelly: Destroy Adam Knite.
Angel: What?
Shelly: Tell me your going to destroy Adam Knite and put an end to this Revolution. Tell me your going to be the man that chased Spike Kane all over the country, that tried to kill Xavier Williams for the X-Division, that waged a war on everyone and anyone who hurt nCw, tell me your going to open your eyes and see that Adam Knite has become everything you swore to protect nCw from.
( Angel looks into Shelly's eyes, searching for the answer she wants to hear, but he knows no matter what he says, she will not believe it, and honestly, neither will he. He can only muster one response. )
Angel:.......
( He leans forward and kisses Shelly on the cheek. A tear drips down her face as Angel walks past her into the house to gather his things. In ten minutes Angel will be gone, on his way to Boston. In one hour he'll cross the boarder into Massachusetts. And later tonight, Shelly will cry herself to sleep. later tonight Hayleigh will scream for her daddy to put her to bed, later tonight Angel will stand on the side of the road and punch a brick wall until his hands bleed with tears streaming down his face in the dark, later tonight Adam Knite will make love to Kelly Fox thinking not of the woman underneath him or the life's the two of them have ruined together, later tonight he will think about the World Title and sacrificing his friends and his Revolution to accomplish his goal. Later tonight... )
I sold my soul to save nCw, to save the Revolution... and now I stand looking into the mouth of Hell...
In the Book of Revelations it is said that a knight will come and he will be the Word of God and he will defeat the Dragon and the false Prophet and they will be cast into the lake of fire for a thousand years.
I know I will be there in the end, I know the Revelations are upon us, but what roll will I take? The Word of God; Will I stand up and save nCw from the dragon who hopes to control it for all time, binding him and casting him into Hell to pay for his sins?
Or am I the false Prophet, bound to the Dragon, destined to lose this war and spend a thousand years in a lake of fire?
Either way... I think I may just take everyone to Hell with me....
Sunday I'm going to look the Devil in the eyes and I'm going to face my worst fear. The possibility that my career in nCw is over and this historic match may be my last.
You wanted me to fight the evil in this company, you wanted me to stand up for what I believe in, you wanted me to be the Arch Angel of nCw, laying waste to all those who prey upon her. Thats what you made me into, thats what you begged me to be, I am your monster, your creation, and I can do a great many things with no remorse, no feeling, no regret, with a smile on my face. I can cause pain and end careers, I can rise up and vanquish any foe, any threat to our cause. I have done everything you've asked me to do. The real question is, when this creation turns his sword of vengeance on you, will you be able to face your judgment?
Your star shined brighter than any other, you rivaled the very founders of this company, you have stopped at nothing to make your dreams a reality... and in the end the brightest stars fall the farthest.
"You said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.'
I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.
But you are brought down to the grave, to the depths of the pit."
The Prophet Isaiah