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Post by Steven Luke on Mar 15, 2010 17:26:45 GMT -6
It's been awhile so I could defiantly use come constructive criticism. So in the words of the Nascar CEO earlier this year, Have at it boys.
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Brad Kane
Junior Member
...::What I Get::...
Posts: 332
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Post by Brad Kane on Mar 15, 2010 18:17:15 GMT -6
Really doesn't look like you lost too much from the last time I read your work, I think... Some of your sentences were a little too long, kinda like this, because I don't know why. Other then that, not a bad re-start dude.
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Post by Shane Hunt on Mar 15, 2010 20:46:09 GMT -6
It wasn't a bad debut RP. I'm sure you'll improve in time, but I could definitely tell you haven't RPed for a while. I echo what Brad Kane said about the really long sentences. Other than that, it was alright. Just shorten up those sentences, and use a full stop instead of a comma once in a while. If you do that, you'll already be on the way back to how I've heard you can RP.
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Post by Steven Luke on Mar 16, 2010 0:41:18 GMT -6
Yeah I kind of felt I was running on a bit a few times but I was worried about getting a block (the whole reason I stopped rping is because I would block two paragraphs in) that I just kept going and hoping it would all make sense in the end.
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Post by Steven Luke on Apr 30, 2010 17:02:32 GMT -6
Anyone got anything for me?
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Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 30, 2010 17:11:48 GMT -6
I just want to say, you really came hard with it this week bro.
They were all great reads.
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Post by Steven Luke on May 21, 2010 22:07:34 GMT -6
Any feedback on this weeks work?
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Post by Charlie Velez on May 27, 2010 9:52:33 GMT -6
It was short and to the point, and seeing as you're sick and stuff...good job.
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Post by Alex Jones on May 27, 2010 18:13:19 GMT -6
I know how it is when you're feeling under the weather so the short and to the point route was best, no charecter or storyline development just all out about the match...good job V
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Post by Steven Luke on Jun 4, 2010 15:41:20 GMT -6
Three ppv rps up, anyone got anything?
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Post by Charlie Velez on Jul 7, 2010 14:32:06 GMT -6
I have to say, you've been killing it with the whole "Honor" gimmick. Nice job, keep up the good work.
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Post by Charlie Velez on Jul 23, 2010 11:18:24 GMT -6
What's that I smell?
It's greatness. Really nice RP there homie.
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Post by Steven Luke on Jul 27, 2010 21:40:45 GMT -6
I would really appriciate feedback this week and if I get some, I promise to return the love
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Post by Charlie Velez on Jul 27, 2010 22:00:38 GMT -6
The erection in my pants seems to love your RP. So do I
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Post by doc on Jul 28, 2010 5:30:19 GMT -6
you the man !
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Post by Jason Blair on Sept 30, 2010 12:08:17 GMT -6
Really solid heel stuff this week on the Gun Show. Insulting Knitelife = mega heel heat.
The whole RP was great. It wasn't original at all, but it was fantastic.
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Post by Trish Newborn on Nov 18, 2010 14:06:33 GMT -6
Enjoyed reading your last rp. Good stuff.
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Post by Steven Luke on Dec 7, 2010 11:04:42 GMT -6
New gun show and riot rp...
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Post by Shane Hunt on Dec 7, 2010 13:28:26 GMT -6
I've really enjoyed reading your latest couple of RPs. The gun show was brilliant, and your latest Riot RP was good. Now, feed my back!
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Post by Steven Luke on Dec 27, 2010 11:23:29 GMT -6
Someone feed me back, feed me back all night long
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Post by Shane Hunt on Dec 28, 2010 15:16:56 GMT -6
You're an evil man, Venom. Your last RP was cruel, but beautifully typed. Poor Jacobsen will be fuming after hearing that Now, feed my back please.
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Dec 30, 2010 22:35:30 GMT -6
That was a sexy RP. I have to say, I finally get what the hype is about. I just think that if you had applied that sort of consistency throughout the Riot RPs, you would be a definite lock. As it stands, you're definitely Top 5 material.
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Jack Manson
Senior Member
It's the one that kills, not me!
Posts: 914
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Post by Jack Manson on Jan 15, 2011 21:29:13 GMT -6
Good work this week mate, should be fun seeing you keep up to the calibre of your second rp and not be distratced by the Gun show and having to review a whole show lol.
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Post by Trish Newborn on Jan 16, 2011 2:02:24 GMT -6
Loved the Gun Show this week. You keep pumping out some good role-plays lately. Venom has become my favorite member of The Young Guns. Yep, completely replaces Katy Perry.
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Post by Charlie Velez on Jan 16, 2011 18:53:30 GMT -6
*is sad that he isn't even the second favorite YG*
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Post by Steven Luke on Jan 16, 2011 20:31:02 GMT -6
It's just like old times then. Remember when you were the third favorite behind Mueller and Mueller sucked balls?
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Jack Manson
Senior Member
It's the one that kills, not me!
Posts: 914
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Post by Jack Manson on Jan 28, 2011 3:50:36 GMT -6
Love it.
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Post by Trish Newborn on Feb 23, 2011 16:14:05 GMT -6
Awesome job on the rp this week. I liked the interaction between Zelda and Rob before Venom showed up. That was pretty funny. You just keep coming up with good, solid rps. With Zelda on your side this week will be a breeze.
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Post by Todd Williams on Mar 10, 2011 14:39:45 GMT -6
Really good rp that you posted bro. I like Venom basically telling it like it is and the whole speech about split personalitys and what not. It was a really straight forward promo and the type of stuff we expect from the National Champion. Good job buddy. Keep up the great work.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2011 20:11:00 GMT -6
I really enjoyed the Anti-Venom RP, the pop at split personalities was great and without anything else but just a direct talk to your opponents it was great that it didn't get distracted by random encounters etc.
There are just so many matches at this PPV I am excited about seeing the conclusions for it reminds me why I loved ewrestling so long ago.
On a side note, a personal thank you anyway because I always used to have a character called Venom years ago and you being here forced me to start from scratch which has really helped. Unintended of course, but thanks all the same.
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