Post by Destructor! on May 3, 2010 14:26:36 GMT -6
“Dude, I feel like a total tool right now.”
I can’t see what John was talking about, but I had an idea. I had just given him his new costume, and well, he didn’t seem to enjoy it too much, but he was willing to play along.
“So what exactly is my gimmick again? Am I a mad scientist or something?”
“Yeah man. That’s exactly the gimmick. A mad scientist trying to get back at the world that did him wrong, and to do that, you created me, Destructor!, the ‘perfect’ wrestler. I’m telling you man, it’s a perfect idea.”
“It’s cool I admit, but, well, what’s your costume look like?”
I hadn’t shown him my custom yet, I thought I’d surprise him a bit. I only cost me fifty bucks to buy on eBay. Well actually it cost me more when you put in the price of boots and gloves, but I still thought it was a steal.
“Are you ready yet man, my head hurts from looking through these glasses.”
“Yeah yeah hold on man.”
I walk out, showing off my new digs to John. Before I could get a word in, explaining why he looks this way, John fell to the floor, laughter filling up the room.
“Dude, you look like a retarded green smurf! A moron with a green suit on! Hahaha!”
“Yeah well you look like…like stupid.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Alright shut up, now it’s time to cut our promo. Did you bring the stuff I told you?”
“The smoke machine and lights we used for Rock Band? Yeah, I got them here.”
“Well then let’s set things up, it’s time to get…dangerous.”
We fade out and then back in, a room full of smoke. Multicolored lights flicker around, as a mysterious figure is seen. The camera moves in closer to show none other than Dr. Insano! Evil scientist vowing revenge on the world!
“Hello there cruel world, I have come back! It is truly I, Dr. Insano, the most insane scientist the world has ever seen! I used to be a common man, a normal scientist who used to…um, do science stuff like pour stuff into beakers, or put boobies on a scale and see how much they weigh, but I have been fooled! I have been mistreated by the normal humans, the nonscientists who believe that crazy ones should be put away to jail! Well get a load of me now! I have cool shiny sunglasses and a new lab coat! And now an appetite for revenge! MUAHAHAHA!”
Dr. Insano laughs…insanely. He drags it on, until you see a hand nudge him on the shoulder, telling him to calm down.
“Oh yes, that’s right. Now that I am set free, I have gone to rage war onto the world! I will start, with the most precious wrestling federation around…the NCW! That’s right, Dr. Insano will now be on televisions near you, taking the world over one city at a time! But I will not be doing it on my own, no, I will be doing it with help from my new creation…it took years of working on, and I have yet to perfect it; he does not have every vital organ and pair of testicles but I now introduce the world to…DESTRUCTOR!”
Out from the smoke behind Dr. Insano emerges Destructor!, the small, skinny, dressed in green wrestler. He breathes heavily, trying to intimidate the viewers.
“It is I Destructor!...the new creation from Dr. Insano. I have been resting long time, I have been put together, with the blood of world class wrestler Destruction…you know, that guy who used to wrestle in that other federation. I am his son, and I am prepared to kick everybody’s asses!
Asses will be kicked starting this Friday, on nCw Suspense! Destructor! will enter the ring for the first time ever, and he will be looking to kick everybody’s ass. Because I’m an ass kicker, who likes kicking asses. I could chew bubble gum, but I prefer to kick asses. Which is what I will do. Because kicking ass is my occupation; seriously, when applying for this job it said I had to kick ass, so I will. But uh…um…”
Silence for a bit. The two begin arguing to each other, and then Destructor! gets back to talking.
“But it will not be a good night for my opponents! All three of them, will feel bad after I beat them up, make sure that my family legacy is fulfilled! Mat Foley, Allister Black, and Shawn Styles, I don’t know a lot about you punks; I checked on Wikipedia if I could pick up any dirt about you, but I was unsuccessful! So that must mean your nobodies! Every important person has a Wikipedia page, and you three don’t, which means you’re unimportant! And I kick the asses of unimportant people! YEAH!”
Destructor! pumps his fists, ‘hulking’ himself up.
“So at Suspense, I hope you three eat your vitamins, and I hope you read up and wear your lucky underwear, because Destructor! will…DESTRUCT YOU!”
Dr. Insano pops his head in front of the camera, blocking Destructor!
“And if you know Zelda Knite’s phone number, please send it here to drinsanoisagreatkisser@hotmail.com-“
Destructor! pushes Insano out of the picture, and the camera fades to black.
I thought it went well, I mean it could have been better but I think we both did a good job.
“How long were you going to go on that ass kicking rant before I stopped you?”
“I don’t know bro, but really? You said you couldn’t install testicles onto me?”
“Seeing as you don’t have them in real life, I had to keep it somewhat realistic.”
“And hitting on Zelda? You know who her brother is, right?
“Details. I think she’s single.”
“Uh, what about that Nelly guy?”
“Pfft, so what!? He used to be a backstage commentator! I can take him down!”
We argued for a bit longer until we realized that we had to catch an early plane to Philadelphia to make the show. We packaged our bags quickly, and had to think up lies to tell our parents. We decided to lie and say we were going to go on a road trip this summer, looking at all these different schools to apply to. It’s not like either of our parents cared; once we turned 18 they wanted to kick us out of the house anyway, and wanted us to get jobs and pay rent. I don’t even think they’ll miss us while we’re gone.
But I hope this gets out there. I hope that the world sees us, but most importantly, I hope he sees us. I hope he sees me, and I hope he hears me. I want my father to respect what I’m doing, and I don’t know, maybe take me out to lunch or something. Teach me how to ride a back, or how to pull off a suplex or something. I’m really doing it just for him. Really just doing it for the life I never had before.
I can’t see what John was talking about, but I had an idea. I had just given him his new costume, and well, he didn’t seem to enjoy it too much, but he was willing to play along.
“So what exactly is my gimmick again? Am I a mad scientist or something?”
“Yeah man. That’s exactly the gimmick. A mad scientist trying to get back at the world that did him wrong, and to do that, you created me, Destructor!, the ‘perfect’ wrestler. I’m telling you man, it’s a perfect idea.”
“It’s cool I admit, but, well, what’s your costume look like?”
I hadn’t shown him my custom yet, I thought I’d surprise him a bit. I only cost me fifty bucks to buy on eBay. Well actually it cost me more when you put in the price of boots and gloves, but I still thought it was a steal.
“Are you ready yet man, my head hurts from looking through these glasses.”
“Yeah yeah hold on man.”
I walk out, showing off my new digs to John. Before I could get a word in, explaining why he looks this way, John fell to the floor, laughter filling up the room.
“Dude, you look like a retarded green smurf! A moron with a green suit on! Hahaha!”
“Yeah well you look like…like stupid.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Alright shut up, now it’s time to cut our promo. Did you bring the stuff I told you?”
“The smoke machine and lights we used for Rock Band? Yeah, I got them here.”
“Well then let’s set things up, it’s time to get…dangerous.”
We fade out and then back in, a room full of smoke. Multicolored lights flicker around, as a mysterious figure is seen. The camera moves in closer to show none other than Dr. Insano! Evil scientist vowing revenge on the world!
“Hello there cruel world, I have come back! It is truly I, Dr. Insano, the most insane scientist the world has ever seen! I used to be a common man, a normal scientist who used to…um, do science stuff like pour stuff into beakers, or put boobies on a scale and see how much they weigh, but I have been fooled! I have been mistreated by the normal humans, the nonscientists who believe that crazy ones should be put away to jail! Well get a load of me now! I have cool shiny sunglasses and a new lab coat! And now an appetite for revenge! MUAHAHAHA!”
Dr. Insano laughs…insanely. He drags it on, until you see a hand nudge him on the shoulder, telling him to calm down.
“Oh yes, that’s right. Now that I am set free, I have gone to rage war onto the world! I will start, with the most precious wrestling federation around…the NCW! That’s right, Dr. Insano will now be on televisions near you, taking the world over one city at a time! But I will not be doing it on my own, no, I will be doing it with help from my new creation…it took years of working on, and I have yet to perfect it; he does not have every vital organ and pair of testicles but I now introduce the world to…DESTRUCTOR!”
Out from the smoke behind Dr. Insano emerges Destructor!, the small, skinny, dressed in green wrestler. He breathes heavily, trying to intimidate the viewers.
“It is I Destructor!...the new creation from Dr. Insano. I have been resting long time, I have been put together, with the blood of world class wrestler Destruction…you know, that guy who used to wrestle in that other federation. I am his son, and I am prepared to kick everybody’s asses!
Asses will be kicked starting this Friday, on nCw Suspense! Destructor! will enter the ring for the first time ever, and he will be looking to kick everybody’s ass. Because I’m an ass kicker, who likes kicking asses. I could chew bubble gum, but I prefer to kick asses. Which is what I will do. Because kicking ass is my occupation; seriously, when applying for this job it said I had to kick ass, so I will. But uh…um…”
Silence for a bit. The two begin arguing to each other, and then Destructor! gets back to talking.
“But it will not be a good night for my opponents! All three of them, will feel bad after I beat them up, make sure that my family legacy is fulfilled! Mat Foley, Allister Black, and Shawn Styles, I don’t know a lot about you punks; I checked on Wikipedia if I could pick up any dirt about you, but I was unsuccessful! So that must mean your nobodies! Every important person has a Wikipedia page, and you three don’t, which means you’re unimportant! And I kick the asses of unimportant people! YEAH!”
Destructor! pumps his fists, ‘hulking’ himself up.
“So at Suspense, I hope you three eat your vitamins, and I hope you read up and wear your lucky underwear, because Destructor! will…DESTRUCT YOU!”
Dr. Insano pops his head in front of the camera, blocking Destructor!
“And if you know Zelda Knite’s phone number, please send it here to drinsanoisagreatkisser@hotmail.com-“
Destructor! pushes Insano out of the picture, and the camera fades to black.
I thought it went well, I mean it could have been better but I think we both did a good job.
“How long were you going to go on that ass kicking rant before I stopped you?”
“I don’t know bro, but really? You said you couldn’t install testicles onto me?”
“Seeing as you don’t have them in real life, I had to keep it somewhat realistic.”
“And hitting on Zelda? You know who her brother is, right?
“Details. I think she’s single.”
“Uh, what about that Nelly guy?”
“Pfft, so what!? He used to be a backstage commentator! I can take him down!”
We argued for a bit longer until we realized that we had to catch an early plane to Philadelphia to make the show. We packaged our bags quickly, and had to think up lies to tell our parents. We decided to lie and say we were going to go on a road trip this summer, looking at all these different schools to apply to. It’s not like either of our parents cared; once we turned 18 they wanted to kick us out of the house anyway, and wanted us to get jobs and pay rent. I don’t even think they’ll miss us while we’re gone.
But I hope this gets out there. I hope that the world sees us, but most importantly, I hope he sees us. I hope he sees me, and I hope he hears me. I want my father to respect what I’m doing, and I don’t know, maybe take me out to lunch or something. Teach me how to ride a back, or how to pull off a suplex or something. I’m really doing it just for him. Really just doing it for the life I never had before.