Post by Destructor! on May 6, 2010 13:55:57 GMT -6
When I woke up I had been taken to a nearby hospital. I had suffered a concussion, but most importantly missed my plane to Philadelphia.
In good news though, remember the couple that beat John and me up? They were wanted for robbing a near buy Blockbuster. They took over two hundred dollars and ten copies of “Avatar”, so I was a bit of a local hero for all of the people who still want to go to Pandora.
But of course now John and I were screwed. We found a bus that would take us to Philly, but there was no guarantee that we would make it to the show on time. We made the best of it, and decided to cut a promo on the bus. We just had to get changed in the bathroom together, which was admittedly awkward.
“Dude, that chick hit you in the head hard. You went flying like five feet off the ground when you got hit, and landed face first to the floor. I have to admit, that was sick.”
“To be honest man, I don’t even remember it. How did it go with you and the big guy?”
“Well I showed off some of my karate moves.”
“Was he impressed?”
“He threw me into the garbage can and started kicking me.”
“Is that why you smell like a rotten tuna fish sandwich?”
“I kind of like it, I might try to hit on that girl who was sitting in the front. Let’s just hope she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
“So what are we going to do exactly? What’s the plan?”
“Well...”
We talked for a bit, planning on what we were going to say…
We see a man standing outside the bathroom, knocking on the door.
“Hey man, get the hell out of there; I really have to take a dump!”
The man continues knocking on the door, until another young gentlemen taps him on his shoulder.
“What the hell do you want?”
“Well, I just want to tell you he’s not in there by himself. I saw another guy go in two minutes after he went in. I think they’re doing something in there. There’s a lot of bumping around and stuff.”
The man knocking on the door looks at the young gentlemen.
“Are you telling me there are two queers in there doing queer stuff?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“That’s f*cking queer.”
Once that man finishes his sentence, the door busts open and here comes Destructor! in all of his glory. He stands around, scanning the area, hands on his hips. The two men stare at Destructor! who just nods, and walks forward.
“Now THAT’S f*cking queer.”
The camera follows Destructor! who holds his hands up, walking down the aisle.
“Ladies and gentlemen, don’t be alarmed, it is just I, the son of the greatest wrestler in the world-“
“Adam Knite?”
“Huh? No, son of-“
“Charlie Velez?”
“Who the hell-NO! Son of De-“
“Mongo the Destroyer?”
“NO! DESTRUCTION! I’M THE SON OF DESTRUCTION!”
The crowd looks around, trying to figure out who the hell Destruction is, but Destructor! just nods his head and keeps talking.
“But that’s beside the point. My father has given me the powers that he once possessed, and with help from Dr. Insano, I am now ready to take control of the nCw! You see ladies and gentlemen, I have a match against three punks this Friday; I know! Three punks who have no business being in the ring with the son of a legend, but I promise all of you, that I will pull out a victory!”
One lady in the crowd claps, as everybody else just stares at Destructor! confused at the whole spectacle.
“Three men, three unlucky men get to step into the ring with me. Shawn Styles, I hope you got ass insurance, because I’m going to kick it so bad that you’ll have to buy yourself a new one! You call yourself the “King of nCw” and that we should all hail you. FAIL. You are no king! Where is your throne? Where is your crown? Hell, where’s that robe that all the cool kinds where? Do you think King Henry VII took his crown off! Hell, after the cut his head off with the guillotine he still worse his crown! You sir are a fraud, and this Friday I will expose you as one!
Allister Black…who the hell is that guy? I mean, what name is that? Allister? What the hell were his parents on when they named him? Crack? PCP? Whatever it was, I’m going to make him wish that he was in fact on that stuff! I’m going to beat him so bad that he’ll be crying to his mommy, asking him to kiss his boo-boos and the give him that special Spongebob bandage that he’s always wanted! But mommy isn’t here now Allister, so just be ready for the ass kicking of your life!
Then we have Mat Foley, now ladies and gentlemen, have you heard of Mat Foley before?”
The crowd is silent, staring at Destructor! in awe. Destructor! takes this as a sign of them answering his question.
“See Mat Foley! Nobody knows who you are, which means nobody likes you! You’re a nothing, a nobody, and this Friday you’ll have your fifteen minutes of fame after I beat you up good. I mean, you got a gig in wrestling by spearing somebody. You know how I got this job in wrestling? I was born into it! It’s my life, it’s my dream, and it’s my calling! You Mat, you’re fat. So that’s your name now. Fat Mat. Fat Mat, Shawn Styles and Allister Black, you will fall victim to me! You will be dead after this match, because I will kill you! You will be…”
Destructor! winds up the crowd, trying to get them to say it along with him. They don’t.
“DESTRUCTED!”
Destructor! begins pumping his fists, while this maniacal laugh is heard. The crowd looks back and it’s none other than Dr. Insano, who’s laughing like a madman.
“Yes, yes! This is my creation! This is the monster that I created, the monster that I’ve always dreamed of having! DESTRUCTOR! Destructor! is more than a man, he’s a beast. He rips the heads off of his enemies and drinks their blood! He beats down his opponents into a pulp, and he takes no prisoners! He is by far the greatest wrestler of all time…BECAUSE OF SCIENCE!”
He gets to the front of the bus, where he sees that girl he was talking about earlier.
“Hello there young lady, what is your name?”
The girl just stares at him, unamused.
“…Kelly.”
“Well Kelly, how would you like to come over to my place and take over the world with me?”
“You pervert, I’m only fourteen!”
The crowd gasps, and some guy from the back stands up.
“Hey there, what did you say!?”
“Um…nothing man, I didn’t know she was that young.”
“No man we don’t care about that-“
“Don’t care about rape?”
“We care about that stuff you said after! You were gonna what?”
“Oh yes! Destructor! is the man who will help me…TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHA!”
The crowd looks around and begins whispering to each other.
“What’s the problem?”
“You want two want to take over the world?”
“YES! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!”
“And you two just came out of the bathroom together?”
“Well we were just getting changed-“
“OH MY GOD.”
A woman stands up, point at both Destructor! and Dr. Insano.
“GAY TERRORISTS!”
"Hey we are NOT gay!"
The bus stops at a screeching halt, Destructor! and Dr. Insano falling to the floor. The bus driver gets out of his seat and turns around.
“OH MY GOD! DID YOU SAY GAY TERRORIST!? LET’S GET THEM!”
The crowd begins rushing towards Destructor! and Dr. Insano, surrounding them before taking them both down. A large ruckus is happening on the bus, everybody pounding the two of them. While this is happening though Destructor! and Dr. Insano is able to sneak out from under the crowd and run out the door. The camera man is following the two of them.
“Dude they think we’re terrorist!”
“What’s worse is that they think we’re gay!”
…Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
In good news though, remember the couple that beat John and me up? They were wanted for robbing a near buy Blockbuster. They took over two hundred dollars and ten copies of “Avatar”, so I was a bit of a local hero for all of the people who still want to go to Pandora.
But of course now John and I were screwed. We found a bus that would take us to Philly, but there was no guarantee that we would make it to the show on time. We made the best of it, and decided to cut a promo on the bus. We just had to get changed in the bathroom together, which was admittedly awkward.
“Dude, that chick hit you in the head hard. You went flying like five feet off the ground when you got hit, and landed face first to the floor. I have to admit, that was sick.”
“To be honest man, I don’t even remember it. How did it go with you and the big guy?”
“Well I showed off some of my karate moves.”
“Was he impressed?”
“He threw me into the garbage can and started kicking me.”
“Is that why you smell like a rotten tuna fish sandwich?”
“I kind of like it, I might try to hit on that girl who was sitting in the front. Let’s just hope she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
“So what are we going to do exactly? What’s the plan?”
“Well...”
We talked for a bit, planning on what we were going to say…
We see a man standing outside the bathroom, knocking on the door.
“Hey man, get the hell out of there; I really have to take a dump!”
The man continues knocking on the door, until another young gentlemen taps him on his shoulder.
“What the hell do you want?”
“Well, I just want to tell you he’s not in there by himself. I saw another guy go in two minutes after he went in. I think they’re doing something in there. There’s a lot of bumping around and stuff.”
The man knocking on the door looks at the young gentlemen.
“Are you telling me there are two queers in there doing queer stuff?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“That’s f*cking queer.”
Once that man finishes his sentence, the door busts open and here comes Destructor! in all of his glory. He stands around, scanning the area, hands on his hips. The two men stare at Destructor! who just nods, and walks forward.
“Now THAT’S f*cking queer.”
The camera follows Destructor! who holds his hands up, walking down the aisle.
“Ladies and gentlemen, don’t be alarmed, it is just I, the son of the greatest wrestler in the world-“
“Adam Knite?”
“Huh? No, son of-“
“Charlie Velez?”
“Who the hell-NO! Son of De-“
“Mongo the Destroyer?”
“NO! DESTRUCTION! I’M THE SON OF DESTRUCTION!”
The crowd looks around, trying to figure out who the hell Destruction is, but Destructor! just nods his head and keeps talking.
“But that’s beside the point. My father has given me the powers that he once possessed, and with help from Dr. Insano, I am now ready to take control of the nCw! You see ladies and gentlemen, I have a match against three punks this Friday; I know! Three punks who have no business being in the ring with the son of a legend, but I promise all of you, that I will pull out a victory!”
One lady in the crowd claps, as everybody else just stares at Destructor! confused at the whole spectacle.
“Three men, three unlucky men get to step into the ring with me. Shawn Styles, I hope you got ass insurance, because I’m going to kick it so bad that you’ll have to buy yourself a new one! You call yourself the “King of nCw” and that we should all hail you. FAIL. You are no king! Where is your throne? Where is your crown? Hell, where’s that robe that all the cool kinds where? Do you think King Henry VII took his crown off! Hell, after the cut his head off with the guillotine he still worse his crown! You sir are a fraud, and this Friday I will expose you as one!
Allister Black…who the hell is that guy? I mean, what name is that? Allister? What the hell were his parents on when they named him? Crack? PCP? Whatever it was, I’m going to make him wish that he was in fact on that stuff! I’m going to beat him so bad that he’ll be crying to his mommy, asking him to kiss his boo-boos and the give him that special Spongebob bandage that he’s always wanted! But mommy isn’t here now Allister, so just be ready for the ass kicking of your life!
Then we have Mat Foley, now ladies and gentlemen, have you heard of Mat Foley before?”
The crowd is silent, staring at Destructor! in awe. Destructor! takes this as a sign of them answering his question.
“See Mat Foley! Nobody knows who you are, which means nobody likes you! You’re a nothing, a nobody, and this Friday you’ll have your fifteen minutes of fame after I beat you up good. I mean, you got a gig in wrestling by spearing somebody. You know how I got this job in wrestling? I was born into it! It’s my life, it’s my dream, and it’s my calling! You Mat, you’re fat. So that’s your name now. Fat Mat. Fat Mat, Shawn Styles and Allister Black, you will fall victim to me! You will be dead after this match, because I will kill you! You will be…”
Destructor! winds up the crowd, trying to get them to say it along with him. They don’t.
“DESTRUCTED!”
Destructor! begins pumping his fists, while this maniacal laugh is heard. The crowd looks back and it’s none other than Dr. Insano, who’s laughing like a madman.
“Yes, yes! This is my creation! This is the monster that I created, the monster that I’ve always dreamed of having! DESTRUCTOR! Destructor! is more than a man, he’s a beast. He rips the heads off of his enemies and drinks their blood! He beats down his opponents into a pulp, and he takes no prisoners! He is by far the greatest wrestler of all time…BECAUSE OF SCIENCE!”
He gets to the front of the bus, where he sees that girl he was talking about earlier.
“Hello there young lady, what is your name?”
The girl just stares at him, unamused.
“…Kelly.”
“Well Kelly, how would you like to come over to my place and take over the world with me?”
“You pervert, I’m only fourteen!”
The crowd gasps, and some guy from the back stands up.
“Hey there, what did you say!?”
“Um…nothing man, I didn’t know she was that young.”
“No man we don’t care about that-“
“Don’t care about rape?”
“We care about that stuff you said after! You were gonna what?”
“Oh yes! Destructor! is the man who will help me…TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHA!”
The crowd looks around and begins whispering to each other.
“What’s the problem?”
“You want two want to take over the world?”
“YES! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!”
“And you two just came out of the bathroom together?”
“Well we were just getting changed-“
“OH MY GOD.”
A woman stands up, point at both Destructor! and Dr. Insano.
“GAY TERRORISTS!”
"Hey we are NOT gay!"
The bus stops at a screeching halt, Destructor! and Dr. Insano falling to the floor. The bus driver gets out of his seat and turns around.
“OH MY GOD! DID YOU SAY GAY TERRORIST!? LET’S GET THEM!”
The crowd begins rushing towards Destructor! and Dr. Insano, surrounding them before taking them both down. A large ruckus is happening on the bus, everybody pounding the two of them. While this is happening though Destructor! and Dr. Insano is able to sneak out from under the crowd and run out the door. The camera man is following the two of them.
“Dude they think we’re terrorist!”
“What’s worse is that they think we’re gay!”
…Not that there’s anything wrong with that.