Post by Kelly Fox on Jul 12, 2010 10:07:32 GMT -6
OPENING
Ok... so I'm a jerk and I said some mean things last week to just turn around and not hold true to anything I said. I'm sorry. I love Adam and I just can't be with Steve. I've done so much to hurt him over the years, I've done so much to drive us apart and finally seeing him crack tot he point where he just didn't seem to care anymore after being so devoted, it was almost too much to bear. I didn't know how to react except to be angry, at myself, at Steve, at you fans.... but now everything is going to be ok. No matter what happens from this point on, nothing will drive me and Adam apart, we're going to be so ridiculously cute that you're all going to vomit. Which will be my revenge for the throwing trash at me thing.
I don't want to harp on it too much and take away from this awesome column of mine, but I don't care what my father has to say, I'm going to serve my time as Awesome's manager without living with him. I'm not going to let those two boobs rule my life anymore just because of some stupid contract stipulation. Me and my daughter aren't staying around with them anymore, I'm going to be with Adam and Zelda, and I don't care what they think of it. So suck it jerks.
Ok the big news first... I don't know what the official ruling is on DDK's “World Title Victory” last night, nobody does. I'm hearing from my father though that NCW brass is leaning to it not being official as Obsidian is not a licensed NCW referee, but the championship committee headed by Ruston Bourne hasn't made an official statement yet.
So last week our poll was what match did you think was going to be the best of the night and you chose the Angel versus Alex Jones match. I must say you were spot on, the match stole the show people. Those two almost killed each other during and after the match. So much so that NCW management has declared they are no longer allowed anywhere near each other. That's hardcore people, they were so violent they made management who makes money off of the blood shed separate them.
This week to celebrate the wonderful news of me and Adam being together.... for the last time and for the news that Freya and Joe Ragnal were getting divorced, we're going to see what couple you think is the best and most likely to succeed here in NCW. Well.. it's a second best, because everybody knows me and Adam would win a best of poll so I DQed us and you can't vote for us, sorry. This has been like the summer of love in NCW, and I think it's only right to acknowledge it with this poll, now I couldn't put every couple in NCW on it, so I just picked some and went with a nice number of 12. Have fun with the poll.
REVIEW OF LAST WEEK
As usual, I'll be breaking down the pay per view on a match by match basis as well. Lets start things off by saying I thought we had an incredible turnout for the pay per view, we truly could tell there were many people who wanted to win and wanted to impress this week. I must say everybody accomplished their goals of impressing NCW management.
World Tag Team Championships
Ladder Match
Will Washington and Ian Kline(C) vs. Motor City Mafia
- These two teams really gave it their all for those tag team titles. The match was brutal, however in the end it was iWash who was able to retain their tag team gold. The only question left is.. is Will Washington really going to join The Front Office? Who knows.
X-Division Championship
Singles Match
Freakke(C) vs. Seth Evans
-Freakke defended that X-Division title with pride and showed why he won the belt in the first place. Evans however, the smelly douche that he is, managed to steal a victory away from the clown and is the new champion. The match was great, and I think Freakke might have a say in wanting that title back.
Extreme Nicholas Caged Lynch Mob Match
DDK vs. Ron Gibson
-Wow, this was probably the second best match of the night, the passion that DDK and Ron Gibson showed in this match, the fire that they fought with was just amazing. In the end DDK lynched his former best friend who was spitting and cursing the whole way.
X-Treme Championship
First Blood Elimination Triple Threat Match
Tempestad(C) vs. Gabriel Karras vs. Sephiroth du Lac
-Sephiroth Du Lac stole one here with the referee mistook his Red mist as blood from Tempestad, the match itself was clearly hard fought, these men had so much invested into this match it was a shame to see any of them lose. Du Lacis now a two time Xtreme champion and is again rising up the NCW ranks fast.
Snake Pit Match
Ayla St. James vs. Cleopatra
-Another match that was clearly full of emotion, Cleopatra picked up the win and we all hope Ayla is ok.
Death Cage Match
Alex Jones vs. Angel
-What else can I say here.. match of the night. It was brutal, it was hard to watch, it was everything you wanted from this two men.
National Title Match
Charlie Velez(C) vs. Andrew Jacobsen
-Like I predicted Andrew Jacobsen gave it his all and he fought such a great match, even kicking out of Velez's closure, but in the end the National champion just showed too much experience. There will be another chance for Jacobsen down the road, I can promise you that.
Mixed Tag Team Match
Adam Knite and Zelda Knite vs. Steve Awesome and Kelly Knite
-So I guess I won the match? Whatever, all that matters is that Adam saw how much I really loved him. What Steve did to Zelda the entire match was disgusting and that shoulder of hers is really giving her hell, thank God for heavy pain killers, because I don't think she'd be able to even sleep without them right now. I still blame myself for it.
Bird's Cage
Falcon vs. Rob Diamond
-What can you say? It was so good that they decided they needed a rematch at Ascension already. Falcon walks out with the victory but next time it might be different.
World Championship
Singles Match
Brad Kane(C) vs. Philip Burns
-Philip Burns has finally done it, he's finally become a world champion. I've seen him wrestle for years now and I must say it warmed my heart to see him holding that belt. I love Brad, but Burns has just worked so hard to get here it was amazing. I know I've ripped him in the past “The Boring” Philip Burns, the “Sack of sh*t” Philip Burns, and various other remarks, and I likely will continue those since I'm a jerk like that, but it was an amazing moment in NCW history.
World Championship
Singles Match
Philip Burns(C) vs. DDK
-Again... we still have no clue if this was an actual match or not... I must say it was a big surprise to everybody that DDK came out there, I don't think many people thought he was going to cash in that sack, but apparently he wanted to really make a splash... well DDK.. you did.
There you have it, the individual break downs of the matches. The show as fabulous folks, it was being billed as one of the best shows that NCW had ever lined up, it was being billed as a non stop action thrillride and I think it delivered on all of those things. It was just fantastic... and I'm rambling because I can't stop gushing over it. At the end of the day Cagefest 3 was a show that you should never forget, 10.
PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK
LAST WEEK'S RECORD:: 9-5 :: That's not too bad. I can live with it, and I didn't count me and Steve's win despite the fact I did say we'd win. Oh well.
OVERALL RECORD:: 121-70 :: Hey, that margin is still growing, I'm now up to over 50 right predictions from the wrong ones, that's impressive admit it.
UPSET OF THE WEEK RECORD:: 7-10 :: -sigh- Holy God in heaven, I'm getting worse at this....
SATURDAY NIGHT TRAUMA
Singles Match
Destructor! vs. Evan Andrews
-DESTRUCTOR- I love Evan Andrews, the guy is going to go far in this company, but I think Destructor finds a way to win this..
Singles Match
Gabriel Karras vs. Max Myers
-GABRIEL KARRAS- Karras has a distinct size disadvantage here, but he has more experience and he's the better wrestler, I think he overcomes.
Tag Team Match
Venom/Doc vs. Ex & Abel
-VENOM/DOC- This is going to be too much for the new guys to take on.
Main Event: Cage Match
Tara Fenix vs. Megan Kane
-MEGAN KANE- This may be upset of the week worthy... but I make a bigger upset prediction further down. I just think Megan wants this more and has more to prove.
SUNDAY NIGHT COLLISION WEB MATCHS
Singles Match
Ashlie Ember vs. Maria de la Rosa
-MARIA DE LA ROSA- Ashlie isn't a wrestler, no matter how hard she tries.
Singles Match
Charlaine Jones vs Malice
-MALICE- Malice was impressive during that women's battle royal, she turned some heads with her in ring skills.
Singles Match
Joe Ragnal vs. Nate Wolfe
-JOE RAGNAL- Speaking of impressive, it's never impressive seeing somebody kick the snot out of Bad Luck Chuck, not even if they have bluer hair than Zelda's eyes. However, I've seen Ragnal before and he's way too good for Wolfe.
Singles Match
Rayne vs. Katie K. Callaghan
-RAYNE- Sorry Katie.. Rayne is a great veteran of the ring and she's a dangerous woman, I hate that this has to be your first match.
Singles Match
Freakke vs. Andrew Jacobsen
-ANDREW JACOBSEN- Jacobsen rebounds after that tough pay per view loss.
SUNDAY NIGHT COLLISION
Singles Match
Tempestad vs. Joe Everyman
-JOE EVERYMAN- That's right... I'm backing “The” Joe Everyman. I don't know what to say, he's actually been impressive recently.
Singles Match
Stefan Rzany vs. JFK
-STEFAN RZANY- I'm sorry JFK, but Lance Ryan is looking like the Lance of old after last week, and he gets a shot at that Honor title soon, he won't lose this match.
!!!UPSET OF THE WEEK!!!
Non Title Singles Match
Maria Williams vs. Zelda Knite
-MARIA WILLIAMS- I hate picking against Zelda, but that shoulder.. I'm not joking when I say it's really bad, she won't admit it, but I think it's worse now.
Singles Match
Will Washington vs. ? (To Be Announced)
-NOBODY- I'm not picking if I don't know the opponent.
Singles Match
Rob Diamond v. Xavier Williams
-ROB DIAMOND- Despite the fact he's a stupid dick who doesn't know his place, he's a good wrestler and he'll be the Honor champion.
Non Title Triple Threat Match
Charlie Velez vs. Falcon vs. Seth Evans
-CHARLIE VELEZ- I don't know, call it a hunch here, maybe call it, that I've seen Velez molesting people lately, but I think he wins this.
Main Event: Six Man Tag Team Match
Adam Knite/Steve Awesome/Ron Gibson vs. Philip Burns/Brad Kane/DDK
-ADAM/STEVE/RON- Despite the fact I hate voting for Steve, I love voting for Adam, so there you go.
Well fans, those are my predictions, I hope you enjoy them, and I hope I get plenty of them right.. except for that upset of the week one. However it'll be cool watching the shows, and maybe... I'll come down and do some commentary this week... who knows.
THE FAB DIAMOND
5. Rob Diamond :: He's an inspiration to us all.
4. Rob Diamond :: His impressive wrestling skills make him an easy choice at number 4.
3. Rob Diamond :: Dude can win... even when he loses.
2. Rob Diamond :: Those point rankings he throws out there show he's one of the best.
1. Rob Diamond :: You can't argue this pick, the man put his heart and body on the line and almost got a victory for it.
WHAT TO KEEP AN EYE ON
1:: You have to make sure and watch this cage match on Trauma. I mean seriously, a cage match.. on Trauma.. between two women who want to rip each other's heads off? There is nothing about that sentence that I don't like.
2:: Doc and Venom are wanting to throw their hats into the tag team division, it should be a great match watching as they take the first steps in making that happen. You'll want to see this match because they could very well be the next challengers to iWash's tag team titles.
3:: Evan Andrews. He lost to Lance Ryan on Wired, but the man was so impressive in doing so. You can see that talent just oozing out of this guy. I can see him main eventing NCW pay per views in some months. I'm predicting it now, if he's around and in the tournament, he's going to be my Dark Horse pick to win the Road to the Gold IV.
4:: Xavier Williams. The former world champion looks to be back in form, he won the Honor title from Venom at Picture Perfect and he was impressive in doing so. He could be very dangerou again, very soon. Rest of the roster should watch out.
THE KNITELINE
Rob Diamond; Office
"Go F myself? Wow, real funny Kelly, real funny. You see the problem I have with that is, this monsterous winning streak I've been on for two months now, my sick ass tap out defeat of Charlie Velex, the way I man handled your wet dream Jacobsen and then the way I dominated Doc this past week. I mean, how can you deny that? Oh wait, I know how, because your Leo's kid, which is why EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF COLLISION JUST HAS TO REVOLVE AROUND YOU AND ADAM.... Surprise, surprise. Funny, I used to think the rest of the roster mattered on Collision... Not to mention the guy who wins the most matches and is once again number 1 in the power rankings. But whatever, I guess when your the boss' kid you can just do and say whatever you want, ignore everyone else and pretend the show really does revolve around you. Just remember bitch, I've beaten two members of Foff already. Whats to say I don't come for you next?
Oh yeah, you can't suck it, you skanky, aids invested whore.
**** YOU!"
-Thank you, I thought it was quite humerus myself. So Rob how is that winning streak treating you? Oh... well how is being at the top of the power rankings treating you?.... oh. How is stepping out of Chris's shadow and taking on Falcon in a Bird's Cage match treating you... oh. I'm sorry, win some world titles, and then whine to me, ok sweetie? Also, about facing me... please... I'd send you home crying to your sweet little mom some more.
F. Castle; Richmond, VA.
"Don't you think its about time for Rob Diamond to work out his family issues? Every time I see him get all worked up and yell and cuss and tell his lame jokes I just wanna be like..."Your mad at your dad not at us Rob. Take it up with him."
Oh...and isn't he literally crying in the Collision opening?
You know, after seeing that his whole gimmick sort of makes sense now. Nevermind.... !"-So true.
Steve from MI,
"Let's give AJ 2 a gimmick. Ya know, with all the talk about how boring and lame he is maybe he needs some help. I say he should Knight, no, not another member of Adam's family but a real Knight or maybe a Pacifist. Any ideas for the new AJ 2 gimmick? This could even be a good poll question! "
-I like the idea of a Knight, we can put him in some armor, he can ride into the arena on horse back and he can threaten to “slay all those oppose him”. He could even use a shield instead of a steal chair, it'd be awesome. However, it looks like being a member of the “Knite family” might be closer to the truth.
Peter Parker; New York
"First off, **** you Venom. Secondly, who do you think looks like a bigger jackass this week? Rob Diamond, Alex Jones, Steve Awesome, or LeBron James? "
-Lebron James, he's like Rob Diamond but he tries to hide it. He fully embraces this “King James” dribble that has been thrown his way for years, yet he has to run down to Miami with Bosh and Wade just to try and get a “crown”.... please.
Billy Drake, Toronto, Canada
"So Kelly, have you FINALLY made up your mind between Steve and Adam, or are you going to hold an hour long special to make this announcement? "
-I've always had my mind made up. I love Adam, I just thought he had stopped loving me and I was going to have to settle with Steve. I didn't know what else to do until I was in that ring and I just couldn't take it, I can't live without Adam and if the options were being with Steve or being alone without Adam... then I was going to be alone. And, we just might have an hour long special, just to piss Rob Diamond off.
Jorge Santiago; Tuscaloosa, Alabama
"Since it seems Will Washington watches Kniteline and may be taking your advice into joining the Front Office, do you have any specific advice for any of the other wrestlers that they should consider following? "
-I know I said to join last week, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I was just trying to convince myself. Don't join my Dad, he'll only use you and throw you away when you're no longer a viable option to make him some cash.
MY CLOSING THOUGHTS
Again: I love seeing Philip Burns as the world champion. He's been such a vital part of NCW for these past few years. I hate seeing Brad Kane lose, but maybe he'll come back and win it back, I hope so.
Andrew Jacobsen may have lost his National title match, but he may have won the heart of a certain “princess” that these fans love so much. I hate to do this to her, but he's really caught her eye.
Did anybody see DDK coming out and ruining Burns' moment? I figure some did, but after he had tried to case in on Velez, it seemed that DDK was content on going for a title that wasn't the center of attention, but it seems like he changed his mind on that.
To finally put all these rumors to rest, I was never aligned with Steve, I was never in love with Steve. Telling him I loved him was one of the most painful things I've ever done. Sleeping in bed with him was one of the most awkward feelings of my life. I'm just glad I didn't give in and sleep with him, because lord knows he tried the entire week.
Lance Ryan being in contention for another title, makes me happy.
Conversely, the possibility of another Tara Fenix and Zelda Knite match also makes me happy, as long as her shoulder heals up by then.
Ron Gibson... I thought he was dead, I thought NCW was about to be hit with a huge lawsuit, but yet he comes right back and is wrestling this week. Dude is like a very dirty Superman.
So Joe Everyman has hired Ashlie Ember as his manager? Wow Joe... I didn't expect that.
So Jaymie Boone takes Destructor's virginity... I'd invest in some Lysol if I were you D.
Well, that's all I have for this week. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you forgive me. I really am sorry, but now that I have my Adam back I'm feeling much better. Enjoy the shows this week, and make sure to catch the reshowing of Picture Perfect on pay per view Wednesday if you missed it this week. Until next time...
- - Kelly Knite
oh yeah...... almost forgot... **** you Rob.
THE REAL FAB FIVE
5. Sephiroth Du Lac :: The new Xtreme champion, sometimes to get what you want, you have to bend the rules a bit.
4. Charlie Velez :: He took on a hungry, young challenger who wanted that National title, but he held him off with his veteran experience.
3. Angel/Alex Jones :: What these two did to each other was nothing short of amazing.
2. DDK :: He had to destroy his former best friend to win that Nic Caged match, and then he may have won the world title in a surprise turn after that.
1. Philip Burns :: He finally did it, and now he deserves this spot.