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Post by "Mr. Showtime" Johnny Holliday on Oct 20, 2010 17:34:08 GMT -6
[glow=red,2,300]Aaaaaandddd....go.[/glow]
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Post by Ander Carvetti on Oct 20, 2010 17:37:49 GMT -6
And Holliday wins the match single handedly.
Great promo man
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Post by Alex Jones on Oct 22, 2010 3:25:02 GMT -6
Well first off I have to say that your rp as a whole is great. Every single rp I've read from you has been a great read. But I have a few issues. First off you come off as a heel. Not in the whole "he's a cocky face" way like RVD etc but more of the he's a jerk and a heel no matter what he says "IE Xpac heat". Untill I read your bio I honestly thought you were a heel.
Secondly, yes we all have been big names in "other companies" I'm a former XHF grandslam champion with my charecter and half of the guys here are former XHFers but still my past in XHF means nothing. So while I can appreciate that you and your charecter were major players in other e-feds and some e-fedders here may know this in NCW as a whole it means nothing. Now I don't mean to offend or come off as an asshole...
I just don't want to see a guy with a bucket load of potential to be a major NCW e-fedder get buried because he can't let a past that doesn't matter in NCW go.....
Again great rp man and if you either turn heel or tweak it abit and stop mentioning being a "major star" in a serious tense instead of a joking one you will end up being a force in NCW and a great writer for people to enjoy facing....
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Post by Steven Luke on Nov 28, 2010 8:20:53 GMT -6
I've been trying to read more RPs lately so I can feedback and give my honest opinion and some constructive criticism as a long time Admin of a similar e fed so when you returned I thought it was a great opportunity to read someones promo who is highly thought of.
The opening of your promo in the hospital was amazing and really got me into your work right away. It was an excellent way to show where this feud got its major heat. The problem with your promo was after that. When you went on about society and God it seemed like a good way to set up who you were and who the Rat Pack was as a whole but then it just droned on for ever. It droned on so much so that by the time that I got to the actual promoing for the match I didn't want to continue reading and I didn't.
I did go back and read the rest of it later and I have to say you did an excellent job against Jones and Angel. It really came across well and you hyped up your team to win this match amazingly. The problem is, how many other people got bored in the middle and didn't even read that part? I would suggest in the future that you use all that character build in a separate RP in the Devo forum and cut it down a bit. It overall seemed long just for the sake of being long and there is a perfect balance between Promoing and Development that you can get in an RP for a match and you didn't seem to succeed in reaching it.
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Post by Angel on Jan 8, 2011 8:43:09 GMT -6
Not an insult.
So please don't take it as such.
Your role plays come off as if your trying to make them long for the sake of being long. I feel like you could of said what you wanted to say in a much more concise way, still have nailed Paul to a cross and presented Johnny in the way you wanted without writing so much. I like what you bring to the table, Johnny Holliday is a great character and I think you could be a world champ here some day. But I'll be honest, when I'm voting on a match, I take how interesting it was and did it keep my attention the whole way through into account, and to be honest, 2/3 of the way through yours I just started skimming it. I'm not saying change your whole style up or anything, just giving you feedback and hopefully you take something constructive away from this.
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Post by Steven Luke on Feb 12, 2011 19:15:48 GMT -6
I think you found your mix. You built up your character and your feud with ddkinte
Great all around
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Post by Alex Jones on Feb 13, 2011 11:43:47 GMT -6
I agree with Steve..much more enjoyable to read.....
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Post by Shane Hunt on Feb 13, 2011 12:50:17 GMT -6
As I said in the Cbox, it's one of the best RPs by you that I've read. More direct and to the point, and that style works with your character.
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