Post by Freakke on Dec 16, 2010 9:52:49 GMT -6
Freakke Navidad
Freakke Navidad
Freakke Navidad
Something Something About Your Dad
--- --- ---
”So that's your boat?”
“Aye, there she be.”
The four men stared at the rusty old dinghy with different forms of awe. Freakke and Hexx stared at it in horror and disgust, while Mr. Happy had an ecstatic look to himself. The old man looked proud despite the horrible condition of the ship.
“I named her after me fourth wife. Say hello to the SeaBitch 3.”
”SeaBitch?”
“Aye, she took everything in the divorce....including the SeaBitch 2, named for me Third Wife.”
”Let me guess, the Second Wife took the original SeaBitch.”
“No, no no no. My Second Wife took the Mary Anne. My First Wife took the original SeaBitch.”
Freakke and Hexx both looked at the man as if he were mad. He just beamed.
“So, all aboard?”
Freakke held up his finger for a moment and then pulled his comrades aside for a brief moment of discussion. The three painted men whispered and debated about taking the ship as the old man. The trio broke it up and came back to speak with the old man. Freakke was about to speak but Happy spoke up first.
”We'll take it!”
Freakke and Hexx both looked at Happy, both with a show of irritation.
“Alright then, that'll be five hundred apiece plus tax.”
Hexx and Freakke then turned to the Old Man with that same irritable glare.
“I don't do charity. Although I could probably do a freebie if you do me a small favor. It involves an old monster of a fish and a few hundred hours of monotonous backtracking.”
At this Freakke snapped. He grabbed the old man by the collar and brought him to eye level.
”Listen, you're the one who offered to help, you brought us to the boat, you wasted our time, and you are gonna take us to the effing North Pole. Oh, and one more thing. I. Don't. Do. Side Quests.”
The old man blinked and then nodded curtly.
“Alright then....can ye set me down though?”
Freakke dropped the old man and turned to Mr. Happy.
”Next time we stop for directions, your staying in the car.”
”OK!”
Freakke sighed as they moved to drive the van onto the ship. For a long time no one spoke. It was unnerving. A long time passed as they trudged slowly through the fog and everyone settled in for the trip. Hexx sat on the edge of the boat pondering how he had ended up in this mess. Eventually, he found himself looking to his gut. The scent of Mr. Happy's food had awakened his own hunger. He sat looking around wondering if there was anything to eat. He was quite astounded by the fact that a bird had perched right next to him in his pondering. A rather large bird. A rather large, succulent looking white bird....
--- --- ---
Freakke came out of the bathroom and found himself looking at the old man, who had slumped his face into his hand. Freakke then noticed Hexx and the albatross hung round his neck.
”What?”
To be Continued...
Freakke Navidad
Freakke Navidad
Something Something About Your Dad
--- --- ---
”So that's your boat?”
“Aye, there she be.”
The four men stared at the rusty old dinghy with different forms of awe. Freakke and Hexx stared at it in horror and disgust, while Mr. Happy had an ecstatic look to himself. The old man looked proud despite the horrible condition of the ship.
“I named her after me fourth wife. Say hello to the SeaBitch 3.”
”SeaBitch?”
“Aye, she took everything in the divorce....including the SeaBitch 2, named for me Third Wife.”
”Let me guess, the Second Wife took the original SeaBitch.”
“No, no no no. My Second Wife took the Mary Anne. My First Wife took the original SeaBitch.”
Freakke and Hexx both looked at the man as if he were mad. He just beamed.
“So, all aboard?”
Freakke held up his finger for a moment and then pulled his comrades aside for a brief moment of discussion. The three painted men whispered and debated about taking the ship as the old man. The trio broke it up and came back to speak with the old man. Freakke was about to speak but Happy spoke up first.
”We'll take it!”
Freakke and Hexx both looked at Happy, both with a show of irritation.
“Alright then, that'll be five hundred apiece plus tax.”
Hexx and Freakke then turned to the Old Man with that same irritable glare.
“I don't do charity. Although I could probably do a freebie if you do me a small favor. It involves an old monster of a fish and a few hundred hours of monotonous backtracking.”
At this Freakke snapped. He grabbed the old man by the collar and brought him to eye level.
”Listen, you're the one who offered to help, you brought us to the boat, you wasted our time, and you are gonna take us to the effing North Pole. Oh, and one more thing. I. Don't. Do. Side Quests.”
The old man blinked and then nodded curtly.
“Alright then....can ye set me down though?”
Freakke dropped the old man and turned to Mr. Happy.
”Next time we stop for directions, your staying in the car.”
”OK!”
Freakke sighed as they moved to drive the van onto the ship. For a long time no one spoke. It was unnerving. A long time passed as they trudged slowly through the fog and everyone settled in for the trip. Hexx sat on the edge of the boat pondering how he had ended up in this mess. Eventually, he found himself looking to his gut. The scent of Mr. Happy's food had awakened his own hunger. He sat looking around wondering if there was anything to eat. He was quite astounded by the fact that a bird had perched right next to him in his pondering. A rather large bird. A rather large, succulent looking white bird....
--- --- ---
Freakke came out of the bathroom and found himself looking at the old man, who had slumped his face into his hand. Freakke then noticed Hexx and the albatross hung round his neck.
”What?”
To be Continued...