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Post by Demetrious Young on Feb 28, 2011 22:59:08 GMT -6
I figured I'd make one of these as well.
So what do you guys think of my first promo? Not entirely sure on how this place is run so some feedback on my writing would be nice. Help mold me into the federatoin better.
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Post by Amy Marshall on Mar 1, 2011 13:05:31 GMT -6
Nice promo to ease yourself into NCW.
I have no problems with it.
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Post by Paul Star on Mar 1, 2011 14:22:05 GMT -6
Hello, and welcome to NCW. First bit of advice is not to talk about past E-fed accomplishments in your RPs. Past accomplishments won't mean much here. Your writing style is ok, but it doesn't seem like you proof read your RPs before you post them. If you do that, it'll make them more enjoyable for others to read. At one point, your character seemingly changes gender numerous times. That's an example of why you need to proof read your RPs before posting them.
All in all, your RP was ok for a debut RP. Could be better, but could be much worse.
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Post by Demetrious Young on Mar 9, 2011 1:49:16 GMT -6
Would enjoy some feedback on my newest RP. Still trying to shake off the ring rust and fit myself into this federation. I know I only focused on one superstar in the RP(hence Volume 1).
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Post by Paul Star on Mar 9, 2011 4:56:34 GMT -6
A pretty solid start. Much better grammar than your debut RP. I think you'll fit in well with all the other egotists in NCW. Oh, it's Crossroads not Crossing Roads. We aren't part of some big chicken joke
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Post by Demetrious Young on Mar 18, 2011 3:34:26 GMT -6
Tried something a little different...not to sure what kind of reaction it'll receive.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2011 13:17:55 GMT -6
Very dark and gritty, I am interested to see where it is going.
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Post by Demetrious Young on Mar 23, 2011 0:10:59 GMT -6
Volume 2 of built on struggle is up, just another chapter in the story. I plan to also put up a shoot RP later this week. Enjoy and leave me some feedback.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Mar 23, 2011 4:16:07 GMT -6
The writing is good. Lot of potential I think for a great run here at nCw.
The big thing I've noticed so far is that you seem to be doing practically what I did when I started. I wrote short character based promos that held little to the match up at hand. I see that in Demetrious now. We're seeing him and his struggles, but he hasn't said much yet. His head isn't in the game. Your Built on Struggle promos are like a feint in boxing without any kind of follow up. They're great stepping stones for better RPing though. You just need to develop a more solid weapon to strike your opponent with if that seems an appropriate metaphor(or whatever they're called).
Try to work in some more bad mouthing like you did with Weeding out the Weak and really lay into your opponent. You get that down, and keep up with it, you'll do just fine.
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Post by Demetrious Young on Apr 9, 2011 15:32:00 GMT -6
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2011 18:51:05 GMT -6
I am interested in what angle you are going down Demetrious, I do enjoy reading your RPs though they are interesting to follow. Keep up the good work.
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Post by Spike Kane on Apr 10, 2011 5:27:58 GMT -6
Hey dude, not sure what you were "responding" to in your rp, but I've liked reading your rps when I've had a chance and I can tell that you're going to go far here in nCw.
That said, I think this rp was one of your weaker ones. I know somebody told you some crap about me, but the best advice I could give is to not listen to that kind of crap, whether you expect your opponent to rp or not you should give it your all. Might sound a little hypocritical, but I've had my own problems to deal with.
Keep up the good work amigo.
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Post by Demetrious Young on Apr 17, 2011 5:40:59 GMT -6
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Post by Demetrious Young on Apr 23, 2011 14:04:18 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=collision&thread=16138This RP is a bit crazy, I thought I would try and do something a little different. I'm not sure how well it worked but basic background is that Demetrious has been haunted. The idea of the picture was to show the battle of good versus evil in Demetrious, the dream was to show a higher profile of Demetrious background which I'm going to build on in the coming weeks to hopefully given an original storyline, leave feedback if you'd like
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