Post by Steve Awesome on Dec 17, 2011 22:55:59 GMT -6
wil is sick, so im doing him a favor and posting this rp in the devo thread.
Steve Awesome stands in front of the camera just like he always does. The same stance, the same smirk, the same flashy clothes and those same sunglasses.
“Jimmy Zane......”
He inhales deep to continue yet another tirade into the mediocrity of the Zanester, but then just hits the breaks and shakes his head.
“**** it....”
He puts his hand up to block the lens and we fade out.
We open up in the midst of a regular night at the local gay club. I don't have to explain it to you, because I'm sure you already know what it's like, so we will just keep this bad boy rolling. Up on stage there was a man wearing a dress and a hat with a bunch of fruit on it dancing to WHAM! And he stood at about six foot seven thanks to the ridiculous heels he was wearing. There was a line of gay men wrapped around the rail, grunting and lisping at the sight of the dancer and tossing dollar bills toward erection....I mean direction. At the end of the line, near the right side of the stage was KLB, and next to him slowly starting to come too after being roofied by a blow dart, was Steve Awesome. Steve looks up and squints at the dancing man in a dress.
“....alex jones?”
“His nights are Wednesday and Thursday.”
Steve turns his head toward the direction Kristoff had corrected him from, and that's when he realized he wasn't in Kansas anymore. He glanced all around him, the flashing lights, the blurred visions of men dressed in womens underwhere, the orgy going on in the background, as if he suddenly swapped bodies with Andy Dick while he was asleep. And then Kristoff's seductive come hither stare was the last straw.
“So...let's get nasty......”
And with that Steve stands up from his bar stool, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a red bandana and quietly wraps it around his head and then proceeds to gay bash the hell out of everyone in that damn club. He plants some C4 explosives and runs like hell and then he has to do that sweet ass dive shot where he flies in the air away from the explosion, lands inside kniterider and drives away with a bunch of hot chicks.
`````````````````````````````````````````
“The End.”
Steve Awesome slides his patented shades and strikes a cool guy pose as Rob and Andrew glance at each other.
“Ummm.....I don't think that's what happened Steve.”
Steve doesn't break his pose.
“Who is telling this story?”
Rob steps forward.
“You totally just made that up!”
Steve shrugs his shoulders.
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.”
“He did....”
They all three look over to find KLB walking into the room. Steve glares, Andrew get's a little weirded out and Rob's heart skips a beat.
“....it sort of happened that way, but he certainly took a lot of liberties when it came to filling in the blanks.”
“Kristoff, check out this hair flip I did, tell me that ain't sexy.”
Rob points to his hair but Bates just walks right past him.
“Let me explain to you how it really happened....”
The man in the fruit hat and dress was dancing again and the same scenario as before. All the homosexual males lines up in a row getting there jollies and down on the end was KLB. Next to him was Steve Awesome who was slowly starting to come too.
“Woah....she's hot!”
“His name is Kevin.”
Steve suddenly becomes more alert then he was and throws up in his mouth a little bit.
“But I'm glad you think he's cute. But see that is just the tip of the ice berg....”
Kristoff rubs Steve's inner thigh and Steve freaks the hell out.
“WOAH! NO!”
He scrambles off the bar stool and backs up.
“NO! NO! NO! NO!”
He knocks down some guy holding a tray of shot glasses.
“Absolutely not.”
Bates gets up off the barstool.
“Your supposed to be drugged up from the roofie dart!'
“Oh come on, you really think a Cobra dies from his own venom?
Bates just stares at Steve in disbelieve.
“You can't run from me forever Steve. Sooner or later I'm gonna get you.”
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
“And I will too, mark my words. My lust is insatiable.”
Kris licks his lips and then walks away, Rob yells after him.
“You know....if you shot me with a blow dart I'd stay asleep the whole time!”
Once Kristoff was out the door and it shut behind him, Rob's head snaps in Steve's direction and he glares.
“You are such a cock block!”
And with that Rob storms off in the other direction. Steve looks at Andrew and shakes his head.
“I totally hate my life!”
Steve then storms off in another direction. Andrew just looks around, realizing he's alone and just shakes his head.
“What did I get myself into?”
End.
“Jimmy Zane......”
He inhales deep to continue yet another tirade into the mediocrity of the Zanester, but then just hits the breaks and shakes his head.
“**** it....”
He puts his hand up to block the lens and we fade out.
We open up in the midst of a regular night at the local gay club. I don't have to explain it to you, because I'm sure you already know what it's like, so we will just keep this bad boy rolling. Up on stage there was a man wearing a dress and a hat with a bunch of fruit on it dancing to WHAM! And he stood at about six foot seven thanks to the ridiculous heels he was wearing. There was a line of gay men wrapped around the rail, grunting and lisping at the sight of the dancer and tossing dollar bills toward erection....I mean direction. At the end of the line, near the right side of the stage was KLB, and next to him slowly starting to come too after being roofied by a blow dart, was Steve Awesome. Steve looks up and squints at the dancing man in a dress.
“....alex jones?”
“His nights are Wednesday and Thursday.”
Steve turns his head toward the direction Kristoff had corrected him from, and that's when he realized he wasn't in Kansas anymore. He glanced all around him, the flashing lights, the blurred visions of men dressed in womens underwhere, the orgy going on in the background, as if he suddenly swapped bodies with Andy Dick while he was asleep. And then Kristoff's seductive come hither stare was the last straw.
“So...let's get nasty......”
And with that Steve stands up from his bar stool, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a red bandana and quietly wraps it around his head and then proceeds to gay bash the hell out of everyone in that damn club. He plants some C4 explosives and runs like hell and then he has to do that sweet ass dive shot where he flies in the air away from the explosion, lands inside kniterider and drives away with a bunch of hot chicks.
`````````````````````````````````````````
“The End.”
Steve Awesome slides his patented shades and strikes a cool guy pose as Rob and Andrew glance at each other.
“Ummm.....I don't think that's what happened Steve.”
Steve doesn't break his pose.
“Who is telling this story?”
Rob steps forward.
“You totally just made that up!”
Steve shrugs his shoulders.
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.”
“He did....”
They all three look over to find KLB walking into the room. Steve glares, Andrew get's a little weirded out and Rob's heart skips a beat.
“....it sort of happened that way, but he certainly took a lot of liberties when it came to filling in the blanks.”
“Kristoff, check out this hair flip I did, tell me that ain't sexy.”
Rob points to his hair but Bates just walks right past him.
“Let me explain to you how it really happened....”
The man in the fruit hat and dress was dancing again and the same scenario as before. All the homosexual males lines up in a row getting there jollies and down on the end was KLB. Next to him was Steve Awesome who was slowly starting to come too.
“Woah....she's hot!”
“His name is Kevin.”
Steve suddenly becomes more alert then he was and throws up in his mouth a little bit.
“But I'm glad you think he's cute. But see that is just the tip of the ice berg....”
Kristoff rubs Steve's inner thigh and Steve freaks the hell out.
“WOAH! NO!”
He scrambles off the bar stool and backs up.
“NO! NO! NO! NO!”
He knocks down some guy holding a tray of shot glasses.
“Absolutely not.”
Bates gets up off the barstool.
“Your supposed to be drugged up from the roofie dart!'
“Oh come on, you really think a Cobra dies from his own venom?
Bates just stares at Steve in disbelieve.
“You can't run from me forever Steve. Sooner or later I'm gonna get you.”
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
“And I will too, mark my words. My lust is insatiable.”
Kris licks his lips and then walks away, Rob yells after him.
“You know....if you shot me with a blow dart I'd stay asleep the whole time!”
Once Kristoff was out the door and it shut behind him, Rob's head snaps in Steve's direction and he glares.
“You are such a cock block!”
And with that Rob storms off in the other direction. Steve looks at Andrew and shakes his head.
“I totally hate my life!”
Steve then storms off in another direction. Andrew just looks around, realizing he's alone and just shakes his head.
“What did I get myself into?”
End.