Post by Joe Everyman on Nov 24, 2012 2:06:49 GMT -6
Morning falls like rain
Into the city life
There goes another night
Lose my breath in waves
Into the city life
There goes another night
Lose my breath in waves
...did Seth Evans really end his promo with "Come at me"? I mean... who does he think he is, Sydney? Come at me, bro!!! Seth, no offense, but I think you play Halo a little too much. Or maybe, you go onto too many forums or something. Either way, the internet is getting you! You need to be saved from it's clutches, and I'm here to help!
The rest of your promo, however, did spell out a good point. Team work. Something that, if history says anything, is not something we've been great at. For you, it's because you focus so much on your singles career, it's hard for you to pick up a steady tag partner. And for me, because... well, most of nCw hates me and it's hard for even one to like me for more than five minutes. I got lucky with you and Lex Sense, but those times are gone. Even after this Saturday, Seth... it's going to be enough for us. I told you last week, and I'll say it again; you are not the answer to my questions. You are not the savior for my prayers. I'm sorry Seth... but I knew you weren't the one I needed. I need someone else. I need someone who can direct me towards my goals. Those goals that I haven't even found yet. I need them to send me along my path. I'm not one hundred percent sure yet, but I think I may know who it will be...
The scene slowly opens up on the inside of Joe Everyman's Escalade, on Thanksgiving day. He is driving with Melanie in the passenger's seat, with Aurora passed out in the back seat. Joe reaches up and turns on the radio, and instantly, a Christmas song starts playing.
Melanie Brooks: Seriously, Christmas music already?
Joe Everyman: It's almost Christmas!
Melanie Brooks: It's still Thanksgiving! Can't they at least wait until tomorrow?
Joe Everyman: Oh god... tomorrow is going to be hell.
Melanie Brooks: Why, because of Black Friday?
Joe Everyman: Yeah, it's going to suck.
Melanie Brooks: Are you going out in it?
Joe Everyman: No... but I know you are.
Melanie kind of looks away from Joe for a moment.
Joe Everyman: Mel?
Melanie Brooks: It's not my fault they have such good deals!!!
Joe just hangs his head and sighs.
Joe Everyman: You're three months pregnant, and you want to go out on Black Friday.
Melanie Brooks: I know, that's why you're coming with!
Joe Everyman: WHAT?!
Melanie Brooks: I need protection!
Joe Everyman: I know... but, people know me! I'm famous! I'll get swarmed worse than a designer hand bag that's two percent off!
Melanie Brooks: Swarmed by who?
Joe Everyman: My fans!
Melanie Brooks: ...you have fans?
Joe Everyman: HEY!!!
Melanie Brooks: I'm kidding, I'm kidding! We'll be ok, I promise. And we can take Aurora along too, I'm sure she'll love it.
Joe Everyman: She'll just be riding on my shoulders!
Melanie Brooks: Exactly, she'll love it!
Joe Everyman: But... ugh. Fine, we'll go.
Melanie Brooks: Yay!
Joe Everyman: Yeah yeah yeah... I just hope we survive tomorrow.
Melanie Brooks: We'll find out soon enough, we're going at midnight.
Joe Everyman: ...you're going to be the death of me, woman.
Joe sighs again as he pulls the vehicle into his drive way. The scene then slowly fades to black.
Man... Todd Williams and Spike Kane in one week. How should I go about this? I mean, I could go all goody two shoes about it like Seth did, or I could go about calling them both cock suckers like Todd would... and will... and probably already had. Or, I can go the cerebral route and do what Spike will undoubtedly do... nothing. Shocking, no?
I know how Spike clicks. The last time he and I fought... you know, like, two weeks ago, was kind of a big deal. Now, it's just another match on our marital head board of matches. We've gotta be getting close to fifty matches against each other by now. I mean... it's just getting repetitive now. I need some motivation! I need some meaning! Seth may be creaming his Falcon brand super panties because he's in this ring with Spike, but I'm not. Yes, he's in the Hall of Fame. Yes, he's a former World Champion. Yes, he's a former everything else champion too. But, what does that have to do for Spike and I being in the ring? Not much at all. Here's what they mean. Spike and I were both in the No Limits Ladder Match for the World Championship, and neither of us won. And then, he was in that five way match where I won the National Championship for the third time. That's it.
No really, that's it. Our past title wins and accolades don't mean anything when Spike and I are in the ring. We're kind of beyond those at this point. But then again, we're kind of beyond all of that. We have no meaning for these matches anymore. Want to know the main reasoning behind this match is? We're closing out Trauma, sending the fans home happy after a big main event. That's it. No pasts implications, no present implications, no future implications. That's it. The fans can blow it up, Seth can blow it up, the announcers can blow it up, or disregard me like normal too... either way, I won't be fooled. Until I get some real needs behind this match, I'll just fight Spike like I always do. I'll fight to win, and that's it. No maiming, no injuring, nothing. Just a match. But, Spike's partner, however...
Todd, you are such a cock sucker. I was going to compare you to the New York Jets, but that would be cruel to the Jets. I mean, even my team, the Redskins, are doing better than yours! And even oddly enough, I can compare our current situations to our teams. The Skins have a great future and a good past supporting it. We can move on into the future, and only get better. You, like the Jets, we once good, but have gotten terrible as of late. And you will only get worse. Just like the real life Todd Williams. It's been such a long time since we had the crowd loving, name screaming Todd. Since, we've gotten this broken down, rusted out, shell of a former champion. What happened to you, Todd? You used to be so good... and now, you're nothing. It's gonna be a weird week when Seth Evans and Joe Everyman are FAVORED to win, only because Todd Williams happens to be on the other team. That's gotta hurt deep.
For this week... I just don't see much changing. I'm still looking for a tag team partner. Seth is still being a little sidekick character. Spike is still going to be watching the shadows in case a wild Davey Ortega to pop out at him. And Todd Williams will continue to be a... oh, what was the term I used earlier? Ah yes, a cock sucker. The last time we fought, that's what you were. Since then, you've only gotten worse. So, until I am proven other wise, you will always be a cock sucker in my book. You've gained a prestigious title there, Todd. You should use it to your advantage! You should get shirts and hates made up! Hell, you and Spike could wear them to the ring together! He used to be one, too.
But, I will leave you all here. This should be a good weekend. A lot of good matches on Trauma, closed out with Captain America and the boy wonder, Bucky, going up against Red Skull and random Red Skull soldier number three hundred and seventy nine. And no Todd, to clear all speculation, you are not Red Skull! I know I got your hopes up there for a moment, and I didn't mean that. But, I have to be off. It's late and I'm going to bed. Seth will of course sleep with his prizes Spartan action figure in his arms. Spike will sleep with an axe and a night light, watching out for Mr. Ortega. And Todd... you'll go to bed doing whatever it is that you do. I assume talking to yourself in the fetal position for a couple hours and finally fall asleep while cuddling your teddy bear and sucking on your.......
Thumb. Thought I would say feet? Nah, I didn't need a Rex Ryan joke. I could have! But I didn't. Why? Because he, just like you Todd, are not revolutionary. And with the revolution on the horizon... you will be engulfed, just like all of the other unworthy members of nCw out there. The revolution is coming. Sooner than anyone else will realize.
Knowing that every crash
Is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives
Is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives