Post by Dexter Davis on Dec 7, 2012 18:51:58 GMT -6
"Hello, my name is Dexter Davis, and I am a the master at getting Joe Ragnal's sloppy seconds. Yes, I know, its true dear fans. For the past three years now I have been the man who has stood behind the guy who puts blue kool-aid in his hair. Let me take you back on this little bit of a story here when I first met Freya. I was at some other wrestling promotion's show. I don't much prefer to say the name of the promotion but we meet there. I was stunned. I was taken back from this beauty.
I begin to go into mack daddy mode. For you white, British people that means I was getting ready to approach her for some tea and crumpets. She smiles at me, bites her lip, plays with her hair. I'm getting all of these signs telling me that she is very interested. Then he showed up. The goofiest looking son of a bitch I had ever seen in my life. Blue hair and he holds her hand, gets a kiss and says hi, I'm her husband.
Never before have I been so disappointed. Never before, fans, have I ever wanted to perform something so ghetto as a drive by so I could get this guy out of the picture. Regardless, she took an interest in me and well, we all know how it turned out from there. Now I am a two time X Champion. As Ace so rightfully pointed out, Joe Ragnal was the first holder of this championship. How exciting isn't it. That you were the first person to finally point this out.
Bravo to you, sir, for looking in the history books and being like oh mai gawd that is so like weird! Seriously, Jakey, no one really cares at all about it. No one really cares to hear you go on about how much Xavier Cross sucked. No one cares to look at that face of yours which nearly causes Freya to throw up. No one really cares about you at all. This is why when you had a two year drought without a title, well, no one was really on the wagon for you to hop back into a title scene.
See, Jakey, what do you give a professional wrestling fan? A few terrible poker puns and this idea that you want to be James Bond. I mean primo going on picking the movie theme for yourself and your wife to come into. People knew you wanted to be that ultra cool James Bond type but my god man, you have nothing cool about you. The Ace? This is the best you came up with when you started to wrestle?
What are you the Ace of exactly? If we had a hot wife contest, do you know who would win every single time? I know hot is in the husband of the woman but if we held a contest between who was hotter, Freya or Kathy?
Lets see the blonde who looks like she's nearly 50 or the twenty something chick with the big ass?
Survey says, you lose. You see, Jakey, as I hate calling you Ace. I don't need to prove anything to you, honestly. While you might be the awesome new National Champion, I really don't have any cares to give you. Unlike you, Cross actually has a little something people relateability. I might've just made a new word but the fact remains. Xavier Cross is someone people can relate to. You? No one can relate to a self serving jackass who has a love for poker, Bond, naming kids after card games, and a pretty stupid wrestling name.
People can relate to me. I'm a normal guy who just wanted to be a wrestler. I wanted to get married to a woman I loved. I wanted to name my kids something normal. I've done everything I've ever wanted to in life. I know that I'm probably never going to advance past this level in wrestling. I'm completely fine with it. I want to stay happy with what I do. I don't want to become someone like you who has to resort to, well, being you.
Jacob, what you do in wrestling is just what you do. I don't need a shot at your title. I don't need to have greed define me. I'm happy with what I get. I'm thrilled to be X Champion. As for you saying that the National Title has been forgotten, I suppose you weren't watching a Night to Remember when that title was defended in an iron man match. No, I guess that means nothing at all. I guess all the men that held it before you meant nothing.
This is why I hate people like you. You constantly **** on everything that came before you. Newsflash, slick, the men that came before you are certainly a lot better and relateable then you are. No one really holds up any Ace signs. No one wants your autograph first. You're a second rate wrestler in a first rate company. If you beat me, I eat my words and go on with my life. Boo freaking hoo.
I'm not defined by wrestling. I'm defined by who I am and how I keep my morals. Becoming a man like you, a champion like you, and a wrestler like you isn't on that list of ideals. I'd rather be working in a high school gym in front of 60 people instead of being on your supposed level. Then again you never could get 60 people to care about you much less then 20,000.
Simple people are the best wrestlers. Why? As I said, they can relate to me. You can't. So get on my level, maybe? If not, well, good luck making that National Title mean something as you so crudely put it. I'll be busy being better then you."
I begin to go into mack daddy mode. For you white, British people that means I was getting ready to approach her for some tea and crumpets. She smiles at me, bites her lip, plays with her hair. I'm getting all of these signs telling me that she is very interested. Then he showed up. The goofiest looking son of a bitch I had ever seen in my life. Blue hair and he holds her hand, gets a kiss and says hi, I'm her husband.
Never before have I been so disappointed. Never before, fans, have I ever wanted to perform something so ghetto as a drive by so I could get this guy out of the picture. Regardless, she took an interest in me and well, we all know how it turned out from there. Now I am a two time X Champion. As Ace so rightfully pointed out, Joe Ragnal was the first holder of this championship. How exciting isn't it. That you were the first person to finally point this out.
Bravo to you, sir, for looking in the history books and being like oh mai gawd that is so like weird! Seriously, Jakey, no one really cares at all about it. No one really cares to hear you go on about how much Xavier Cross sucked. No one cares to look at that face of yours which nearly causes Freya to throw up. No one really cares about you at all. This is why when you had a two year drought without a title, well, no one was really on the wagon for you to hop back into a title scene.
See, Jakey, what do you give a professional wrestling fan? A few terrible poker puns and this idea that you want to be James Bond. I mean primo going on picking the movie theme for yourself and your wife to come into. People knew you wanted to be that ultra cool James Bond type but my god man, you have nothing cool about you. The Ace? This is the best you came up with when you started to wrestle?
What are you the Ace of exactly? If we had a hot wife contest, do you know who would win every single time? I know hot is in the husband of the woman but if we held a contest between who was hotter, Freya or Kathy?
Lets see the blonde who looks like she's nearly 50 or the twenty something chick with the big ass?
Survey says, you lose. You see, Jakey, as I hate calling you Ace. I don't need to prove anything to you, honestly. While you might be the awesome new National Champion, I really don't have any cares to give you. Unlike you, Cross actually has a little something people relateability. I might've just made a new word but the fact remains. Xavier Cross is someone people can relate to. You? No one can relate to a self serving jackass who has a love for poker, Bond, naming kids after card games, and a pretty stupid wrestling name.
People can relate to me. I'm a normal guy who just wanted to be a wrestler. I wanted to get married to a woman I loved. I wanted to name my kids something normal. I've done everything I've ever wanted to in life. I know that I'm probably never going to advance past this level in wrestling. I'm completely fine with it. I want to stay happy with what I do. I don't want to become someone like you who has to resort to, well, being you.
Jacob, what you do in wrestling is just what you do. I don't need a shot at your title. I don't need to have greed define me. I'm happy with what I get. I'm thrilled to be X Champion. As for you saying that the National Title has been forgotten, I suppose you weren't watching a Night to Remember when that title was defended in an iron man match. No, I guess that means nothing at all. I guess all the men that held it before you meant nothing.
This is why I hate people like you. You constantly **** on everything that came before you. Newsflash, slick, the men that came before you are certainly a lot better and relateable then you are. No one really holds up any Ace signs. No one wants your autograph first. You're a second rate wrestler in a first rate company. If you beat me, I eat my words and go on with my life. Boo freaking hoo.
I'm not defined by wrestling. I'm defined by who I am and how I keep my morals. Becoming a man like you, a champion like you, and a wrestler like you isn't on that list of ideals. I'd rather be working in a high school gym in front of 60 people instead of being on your supposed level. Then again you never could get 60 people to care about you much less then 20,000.
Simple people are the best wrestlers. Why? As I said, they can relate to me. You can't. So get on my level, maybe? If not, well, good luck making that National Title mean something as you so crudely put it. I'll be busy being better then you."