Post by James Warren on Dec 14, 2012 23:41:25 GMT -6
{The scene opens up and we find ourselves at an apartment building in Charlotte, North Carolina. Inside one of the buildings many apartments we are taken to the inside of a living room where we are able to see Dr. James Warren sitting down in front of his huge 60 inch plasma television. He has an X-Box controller in his hand, and the X-box kinect is placed right in front of the television. It seems as if James is playing a game of Halo 4. He doesn’t seem to be doing too well but that doesn’t stop him from playing anyway. The sounds of gunshots ring loudly through the house and that’s when the gorgeous Cynthia walks onto the scene with their little one year old daughter in her hands. She gently places her against her chest as she stares at her husband.}
“James what are you doing? Could you perhaps turn the television down… Terra is trying to sleep, and it’s hard for her to do so with the volume of the television being up so high….”
{James just smiles in return as he nods his head deciding not to fight a war with his wife but it isn’t long before his character is killed on the screen. The loud sound of the words “Betrayal” Blares loudly across the television screen following by the voice of a kid who hasn’t gone through puberty yet screaming at James.}
“I JUST PWNED YOU NOOB…. GET OUT OF MY WAY AND YOU WON’T GET TEAM KILLED… I TITTY ****ED YOUR MOM BECAUSE SHE IS GAY!, NOW I AM GOING TO TEABAG YOU!!!”
{James looks like he is about to crack up but Cynthia just shakes her head as she seems really befuddled looking back at her husband.}
“Wait what did that kid just say? That doesn’t even make any sense….Someone should wash his mouth out with soap….”
{The kinect microphone however picks up Cynthia’s voice, and in return we can hear the sound of a little kid just ripping her out from the speakers.}
“SOMEONE SHOULD USE SOAP TO WASH OUT YOUR PUSSY BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE FISH, I HATE GIRL GAMERS! GET OUT OF MY HALO GAME… GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH GO SLAVE OVER A HOT STOVE… MAKE ME HOT POCKETS…. DO WHAT WOMEN DO!!! I BET YOU AREN’T EVEN A GIRL…. YOU ARE JUST A 12 YEAR OLD BOY…WHOSE NUTS HAVEN’T DROPPED.”
{Cynthia just breathes as she calmly sits down placing both of her hands over her daughter’s ears as she screams back.}
“Listen here you little **** stain… Don’t you talk to me like that… I am a girl and….”
{Before Cynthia can say anything else, James quickly turns the television off followed by the X-Box. He shakes his head with a cocky grin on his face as he turns his attention over to Cynthia just laughing at her.}
“Really Cindy? You are going to trash talk some random dick wad that you don’t even know?”
{Cindy lets out a deep breath as she looks back at her husband.}
“Jimmy…. Why are you playing video games anyway?”
“Well I had to do some research…. I had to see what drives this man known as Seth Evans considering all he ever seems to do is play this Halo video game and win a couple of wrestling matches, but I think I found out all that I needed to know…Guess It’s time to make my prognosis…”
“Which is?”
“Oh you’ll see… Only thing I can’t diagnose is that part about the titty ****ing….It truly got me pondering at what he meant by that…I have a hypothesis and I am quite interested in the variable of my project… So would you care to be that so I can see if I can come up with a conclusion of some sorts or if I am right in my hypothesis….?”
“…”
“Come on Cyn… You know you want me to experiment on you….”
“,,,”
“Come on Cindy you are supposed to be a nurse, it’s your job to help me out… So please help me my dear sweet loveable wife….”
“Yeah…. No…. I am taking Terra to the park…”
“But you just said that she was asleep…. And she is only one what is she going to do at a park?”
“Take care Jim….”
“Smooth move James…. Smooth move…”
{James says to himself as we fade out on this image.}
So this week I managed to pick up an Xbox 360 along with a copy of Halo 4… Am I a gamer? No by no means I actually have a life but the reason I picked up those two items is because the specimen that I am examining seems to have a fascination with the two. He seems to pride himself on being a professional gamer, and every time he graces your television besides being inside of a ring he is always engaging in some video game playing. I just don’t understand it but he definitely represents an epidemic that is destroying the lives of households and families everywhere. He is engaging in an activity that has little to no importance and it’s a world of living in a fantasy. How can one pride themselves on being a professional gamer anyway? What is the joy of being good at something that is not important?
Do you want a medal of merit for beating a game? Or perhaps you think that winning at video games means that you are a winner at life and to be honest Mr. Evans that couldn’t be any further from the truth. I just want you to know that what you are is indeed a problem. It may not seem like it to you but from a medical standpoint it is totally wrong. Did you know that spending too much time playing a video game could lead to depression? It will cause you to live a life of isolation. The more you find yourself getting wrapped up into something that isn’t important is the more that it consumes your very soul. It may seem like a video game at first but then it will just lead you down a path where you won’t want to do anything besides play that stupid video game. You may not think it’s a problem but that’s because you choose to ignore the issue because you are in full control.
Yes you are in full control when twenty years of your life goes by and you find yourself at 400 pounds living on the couch in your mother’s retirement home wondering where you went wrong in life. You want to know where you ****ed up…. It’s all because you refuse to put that controller down…
Now Seth buddy… I had to get a small taste of your world and that’s why I picked up Gaylo… I just had to see if I could experience the same sensation as you do from playing a ****ty video game… Now of course I didn’t because I have a life, but I did find out all I needed to know and I studied your chart….
Damn… Just by looks alone I can tell you are a faggot in the making… No wonder why you have a fascination with playing video games. Now Seth I just want to let you know that the first way to correct a problem is by admitting that you have one. Being a professional gamer is nothing but a cover up for your ongoing Halo addiction. Now you might think this may not true but trust in the words that I say. After all I am a doctor so I do know what I am talking about. But playing video games is unhealthy. Oh yeah buddy it’s majorly unhealthy. Just think about it from a medical perspective. Now playing a game causes you to use your hands to stroke against the controller. The way you move your hands about pressing those buttons, whether you beat on it feel the vibrations, or move it about excited because it’s motion controlled based, you are neglecting a very important part of your body…. And that part being your love maker….
Your love maker should be receiving the majority of those actions that you share with your controller. As I stated before in an earlier diagnosis of mine Masturbation is indeed a healthy thing Seth Evans. If you spent more time giving your love maker the stimulation of beating it, hitting it, and stroking it instead of your video game controller, you are only making yourself healthy for the long run. You would be able to last longer in bed, you could prevent cancer, and even prevent heart attacks. Stroking that member of yours does indeed go a long way.
Now I myself don’t need to masturbate. I mean I have a wife and she pretty much fulfills that need. You can play with your remote control Seth but a guy lets the wife play with mine, and the thing is it feels really good.
Now I am not judging your ability to get a girl or anything but judging by your chart you never finish anything. You were a Road to the Gold finalist but you simply were a runner up. You didn’t cross the finish line and that’s where the true issue lies. Don’t you want to finish the crossing line Seth?
Don’t you want to complete something?
If you placed that effort on stroking that member it will lead to a concept known as ejaculation and that will be the end game.. .You will actually have completed something….
But no you rather play a stupid video game and you rather chase after something that isn’t attainable. You rather seek that sensation that you experienced the first time you played a video game but you will never reach that place every again…
When I see you I see nothing more than a Zelda Knite, Jennifer Williams, and Freya Davis rip off… Difference between you four is when they play a game it looks pretty hot….
What guy doesn’t want to see a hot chick stroking a controller?
But you ehhhh….. It’s not that hot bro…
When I see you Seth I see a true lack of character…. A character who really needs to develop but he doesn’t know quite how too, but when you are always the brides maid and never bride…
When you are the runner up and never the winner…
I know developing may seem to be out there…. Let’s take a look at two other specimens in NCW… The first one being a man I know you are familiar with…One who knows the concept of development He is actually the one that defeated you in the Road To The Gold Tournament last year… Xander Famularo…
Just look at him… Now Xander is a man who got by on achieving in sports…. Whereas you rather play with a controller Xander here played in the world of sports. He might seem like a big idiot of a jock but look at him now… Engaged with an actual fiancé…You know someone that is actually alive and breathing…. She is the one playing with the controller and he plays with her… That’s how it should be…
Well maybe that was a bit hard for you to comprehend so let’s take a look at this next specimen… He is that man’s father, and a man who’s cut of jib is far more epic than anything in a fictional world
This is Gib a real American hero… He is a man who sat on the sidelines and has come back to proudly wave his banner, cock, and do things to the glory of the American way… He has spread his semen throughout the world and is birthing World Champions every single day…. If that isn’t the story of development I don’t know what is…
The point I am trying to make Seth, is that it’s not the fact that you use yours hand’s… It’s the fact that you should know how to use them…. These two men know how medically important it is to use their love maker…. Maybe you should use it too…. You have great character… Now let’s see it develop….
Don’t worry when you step in the ring with me I am sure you will definitely know how to use your hands because you damn sure will be tapping out to me in that ring….
So get your hands to working.... Get that process of masturbation going so you can ejaculate... You need to learn how to finish at something since it won't be wrestling...
Trust in me Seth…. I am a doctor…. I know what I am talking about It’s my job to help you….
It's your choice... Unless you really like enjoying a world of 12 year old kids who hold onto the merits of video game success like it means something in the real world...
Please let me help you and put that controller down…. This week I will end that kill streak….
Prepare to see that game over screen….
Loser….
“James what are you doing? Could you perhaps turn the television down… Terra is trying to sleep, and it’s hard for her to do so with the volume of the television being up so high….”
{James just smiles in return as he nods his head deciding not to fight a war with his wife but it isn’t long before his character is killed on the screen. The loud sound of the words “Betrayal” Blares loudly across the television screen following by the voice of a kid who hasn’t gone through puberty yet screaming at James.}
“I JUST PWNED YOU NOOB…. GET OUT OF MY WAY AND YOU WON’T GET TEAM KILLED… I TITTY ****ED YOUR MOM BECAUSE SHE IS GAY!, NOW I AM GOING TO TEABAG YOU!!!”
{James looks like he is about to crack up but Cynthia just shakes her head as she seems really befuddled looking back at her husband.}
“Wait what did that kid just say? That doesn’t even make any sense….Someone should wash his mouth out with soap….”
{The kinect microphone however picks up Cynthia’s voice, and in return we can hear the sound of a little kid just ripping her out from the speakers.}
“SOMEONE SHOULD USE SOAP TO WASH OUT YOUR PUSSY BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE FISH, I HATE GIRL GAMERS! GET OUT OF MY HALO GAME… GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH GO SLAVE OVER A HOT STOVE… MAKE ME HOT POCKETS…. DO WHAT WOMEN DO!!! I BET YOU AREN’T EVEN A GIRL…. YOU ARE JUST A 12 YEAR OLD BOY…WHOSE NUTS HAVEN’T DROPPED.”
{Cynthia just breathes as she calmly sits down placing both of her hands over her daughter’s ears as she screams back.}
“Listen here you little **** stain… Don’t you talk to me like that… I am a girl and….”
{Before Cynthia can say anything else, James quickly turns the television off followed by the X-Box. He shakes his head with a cocky grin on his face as he turns his attention over to Cynthia just laughing at her.}
“Really Cindy? You are going to trash talk some random dick wad that you don’t even know?”
{Cindy lets out a deep breath as she looks back at her husband.}
“Jimmy…. Why are you playing video games anyway?”
“Well I had to do some research…. I had to see what drives this man known as Seth Evans considering all he ever seems to do is play this Halo video game and win a couple of wrestling matches, but I think I found out all that I needed to know…Guess It’s time to make my prognosis…”
“Which is?”
“Oh you’ll see… Only thing I can’t diagnose is that part about the titty ****ing….It truly got me pondering at what he meant by that…I have a hypothesis and I am quite interested in the variable of my project… So would you care to be that so I can see if I can come up with a conclusion of some sorts or if I am right in my hypothesis….?”
“…”
“Come on Cyn… You know you want me to experiment on you….”
“,,,”
“Come on Cindy you are supposed to be a nurse, it’s your job to help me out… So please help me my dear sweet loveable wife….”
“Yeah…. No…. I am taking Terra to the park…”
“But you just said that she was asleep…. And she is only one what is she going to do at a park?”
“Take care Jim….”
“Smooth move James…. Smooth move…”
{James says to himself as we fade out on this image.}
So this week I managed to pick up an Xbox 360 along with a copy of Halo 4… Am I a gamer? No by no means I actually have a life but the reason I picked up those two items is because the specimen that I am examining seems to have a fascination with the two. He seems to pride himself on being a professional gamer, and every time he graces your television besides being inside of a ring he is always engaging in some video game playing. I just don’t understand it but he definitely represents an epidemic that is destroying the lives of households and families everywhere. He is engaging in an activity that has little to no importance and it’s a world of living in a fantasy. How can one pride themselves on being a professional gamer anyway? What is the joy of being good at something that is not important?
Do you want a medal of merit for beating a game? Or perhaps you think that winning at video games means that you are a winner at life and to be honest Mr. Evans that couldn’t be any further from the truth. I just want you to know that what you are is indeed a problem. It may not seem like it to you but from a medical standpoint it is totally wrong. Did you know that spending too much time playing a video game could lead to depression? It will cause you to live a life of isolation. The more you find yourself getting wrapped up into something that isn’t important is the more that it consumes your very soul. It may seem like a video game at first but then it will just lead you down a path where you won’t want to do anything besides play that stupid video game. You may not think it’s a problem but that’s because you choose to ignore the issue because you are in full control.
Yes you are in full control when twenty years of your life goes by and you find yourself at 400 pounds living on the couch in your mother’s retirement home wondering where you went wrong in life. You want to know where you ****ed up…. It’s all because you refuse to put that controller down…
Now Seth buddy… I had to get a small taste of your world and that’s why I picked up Gaylo… I just had to see if I could experience the same sensation as you do from playing a ****ty video game… Now of course I didn’t because I have a life, but I did find out all I needed to know and I studied your chart….
Damn… Just by looks alone I can tell you are a faggot in the making… No wonder why you have a fascination with playing video games. Now Seth I just want to let you know that the first way to correct a problem is by admitting that you have one. Being a professional gamer is nothing but a cover up for your ongoing Halo addiction. Now you might think this may not true but trust in the words that I say. After all I am a doctor so I do know what I am talking about. But playing video games is unhealthy. Oh yeah buddy it’s majorly unhealthy. Just think about it from a medical perspective. Now playing a game causes you to use your hands to stroke against the controller. The way you move your hands about pressing those buttons, whether you beat on it feel the vibrations, or move it about excited because it’s motion controlled based, you are neglecting a very important part of your body…. And that part being your love maker….
Your love maker should be receiving the majority of those actions that you share with your controller. As I stated before in an earlier diagnosis of mine Masturbation is indeed a healthy thing Seth Evans. If you spent more time giving your love maker the stimulation of beating it, hitting it, and stroking it instead of your video game controller, you are only making yourself healthy for the long run. You would be able to last longer in bed, you could prevent cancer, and even prevent heart attacks. Stroking that member of yours does indeed go a long way.
Now I myself don’t need to masturbate. I mean I have a wife and she pretty much fulfills that need. You can play with your remote control Seth but a guy lets the wife play with mine, and the thing is it feels really good.
Now I am not judging your ability to get a girl or anything but judging by your chart you never finish anything. You were a Road to the Gold finalist but you simply were a runner up. You didn’t cross the finish line and that’s where the true issue lies. Don’t you want to finish the crossing line Seth?
Don’t you want to complete something?
If you placed that effort on stroking that member it will lead to a concept known as ejaculation and that will be the end game.. .You will actually have completed something….
But no you rather play a stupid video game and you rather chase after something that isn’t attainable. You rather seek that sensation that you experienced the first time you played a video game but you will never reach that place every again…
When I see you I see nothing more than a Zelda Knite, Jennifer Williams, and Freya Davis rip off… Difference between you four is when they play a game it looks pretty hot….
What guy doesn’t want to see a hot chick stroking a controller?
But you ehhhh….. It’s not that hot bro…
When I see you Seth I see a true lack of character…. A character who really needs to develop but he doesn’t know quite how too, but when you are always the brides maid and never bride…
When you are the runner up and never the winner…
I know developing may seem to be out there…. Let’s take a look at two other specimens in NCW… The first one being a man I know you are familiar with…One who knows the concept of development He is actually the one that defeated you in the Road To The Gold Tournament last year… Xander Famularo…
Just look at him… Now Xander is a man who got by on achieving in sports…. Whereas you rather play with a controller Xander here played in the world of sports. He might seem like a big idiot of a jock but look at him now… Engaged with an actual fiancé…You know someone that is actually alive and breathing…. She is the one playing with the controller and he plays with her… That’s how it should be…
Well maybe that was a bit hard for you to comprehend so let’s take a look at this next specimen… He is that man’s father, and a man who’s cut of jib is far more epic than anything in a fictional world
This is Gib a real American hero… He is a man who sat on the sidelines and has come back to proudly wave his banner, cock, and do things to the glory of the American way… He has spread his semen throughout the world and is birthing World Champions every single day…. If that isn’t the story of development I don’t know what is…
The point I am trying to make Seth, is that it’s not the fact that you use yours hand’s… It’s the fact that you should know how to use them…. These two men know how medically important it is to use their love maker…. Maybe you should use it too…. You have great character… Now let’s see it develop….
Don’t worry when you step in the ring with me I am sure you will definitely know how to use your hands because you damn sure will be tapping out to me in that ring….
So get your hands to working.... Get that process of masturbation going so you can ejaculate... You need to learn how to finish at something since it won't be wrestling...
Trust in me Seth…. I am a doctor…. I know what I am talking about It’s my job to help you….
It's your choice... Unless you really like enjoying a world of 12 year old kids who hold onto the merits of video game success like it means something in the real world...
Please let me help you and put that controller down…. This week I will end that kill streak….
Prepare to see that game over screen….
Loser….