Post by Nathan Webb on Dec 22, 2012 2:59:51 GMT -6
I had face facts…I lost that match this past Sunday night. Despite all the stuff that happened on the outside of the ring I was still the one pinned on the inside of that ring. I could blame no one but myself…and for some reason all I could remember was the faint sound of the referee counting the 1…2…3… I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t even have a moment to myself. All I could focus on was the loss, my loss.
It wasn’t just that but the string of losses that I have had as of late. While Mr. Nate was fighting valiantly and fighting for his cause but I on the other hand felt like dead weight losing matches that I know I could win, but wasn’t.
What was happening?
What wasn’t I doing?
What did I need to do?
Something just wasn’t clicking as I racked my brain to figure things out. One night though as I tried to sleep but only tossed and turned while clutching my Miss Rainbow Dash pony who was generally helpful in helping in these sleepless night….but even that wasn’t helping. I had to get up. I was tired enough to go to sleep, but my body just didn’t want to stay in bed….I guess it wasn’t going to be that type of night.
I tossed the covers off and groggy as I was headed out of my room and down the stairs toward the kitchen where I started the coffee pot knowing I was going to be awake no matter whether if I was tired or not.
Suddenly I heard a voice coming from the back door.
“Can’t sleep?” The voice asked scaring me to the point that I almost dropped my Mr. Tigger cup on the ground. The voice obviously was Mr. Nate’s and I should have almost realized that the poor Mister never really slept.
“Can’t you tell Mr. Nate?” I asked fumbling my cup before putting it back on the counter. “Do you ever sleep yourself Mr. Nate?”
“So I guess yes to the first question and I have no idea on the second.” Mr. Nate said with a grin on his face as he was half in the house and half out holding his cigarette that he was currently smoking outside. The grin on Mr. Nate’s face slowly turned into something more cold after seeing the look on my face that said – Not Now.
“Okay what is the problem?” Mr. Nate asked seeing that I obviously was not my normal self.
I took a deep sigh as I poured my cup of coffee. “I don’t know Mr. Nate…I’m losing and I don’t know why…”
“And that’s what’s keeping you up?”
I nodded as I poured sugar and creamer.
“I see…” Mr. Nate said nodding himself. “Make me a cup of coffee and meet me outside and we will talk about it sis.”
I was kind of perturbed with what Mr. Nate said at first as I grabbed an empty mug and filled a cup of coffee for Mr. Nate. Slowly as I fixed Mr. Nate his cup I really realized that this was going to be a come to Jesus meeting for me. Just like when Mr. Nate had his troubles and went through his rough patch…tonight was his turn to look out for me.
After I finished making the cups I picked them both up and headed out the open back door. Mr. Nate was standing there smoking a brand new cigarette waiting for me to come out. I handed him his cup which he took quite appreciatively. We both stood out there enjoying the coffee as we acclimatized to the cooler weather with the hot coffee now in our system. The ocean air was cold but for whatever reason I was not shivering and shaking…it was definitely a feeling of coldness but I was definitely not reacting to it.
“So you’re going through a slump?” Mr. Nate asked quite frankly after a few minutes of us standing there in almost total darkness drinking our coffee.
I nodded looking in the direction of Mr. Nate who I could only distinguish from the burning end of his cigarette. “I don’t know…I was doing so well…but I feel like I am losing it.”
I couldn’t distinguish the expressions or minute motions of Mr. Nate. All I could see was Nathan bringing up his cigarette and taking a drag and hear him breathing out the smoke.
“You know the same thing happened to me right?”
“Yes, Mr. Nate.”
“And you know you were the one that picked me up when I was the furthest I can go down?”
“Of course Mr. Nate.”
“Well let me give you some insight into what happened to me. When I went on my downward spiral after a slight bit of success…I wanted to find the answers much like yourself. The honest part was that the answers never really showed up.”
I was shocked to hear that. I thought at one time he had the ideas…but that was struck aside with one statement.
“Believe me I tried…oh I tried…but you know what…the answers never came. In the end though I was wrestling one night and things just clicked. I didn’t see the answers…but for some reason it just clicked and it hasn’t changed especially now as I fight my battles against the system.”
“So what I do Mr. Nate? I mean I…” I started to say before Mr. Nate spoke up.
“The thing to do,” Mr. Nate said leaning in close to me so at that point I could actually see his face, “is one be patient, and be persistent…you may change things up, but go with that flow and do what you need to do and I am sure those things with click before long…” Mr. Nate paused as he took another drag of his cigarette. “In fact for the time being just do your thing…don’t worry about me…do you.”
“What about our fight against Adam?”
“Don’t worry your time and your role will come…but use this time while this war is in its infancy to prepare yourself. Believe me you earned it….”
{The scene opens up with the camera facing a concrete pillar in an abandoned warehouse. As soon as the scene comes on Rose comes in front of the camera and picks it off the tripod and turns it so that the frame showed the face of Rose and only the face of Rose. Her is down and slightly disheveled with her bangs covering part of her face. Rose looks into the lens her eyes piercing the hearts and minds of the audience watching. She takes several deep breaths, one after another, before finally speaking into the camera.}
So another week and another loss. A loss that that was mine and mine alone. A loss that I will not put on my two other two partners...one of which is my opponent for my match on Saturday, on Trauma Miss Crystal, whom I affectionately call Miss C.
So you see Miss C when I lose I take responsibility for it. I didn’t put it on you due to the fact that you guys were more interested in what was going on outside the ring than what was going on inside of it.
No I won’t put my loss on you because in the end I…was the one that got pinned…and I….was the one that didn’t respond to the count….It was all my fault.
{Rose continues to breathe heavily as she brushes a few strands of her hair out of her face while a good portion of her bangs still hang on her face.}
Unfortunately this has been a trend as of late. I have seen losses…ESPECIALLY…from misses that I should have beaten….that I know I could have beaten but for some reason I haven’t beaten.
It’s been driving me nuts why I have been losing. I have no reason…especially with the wins I have been able to pick up before I left the first time….where I pushed the Starlet’s Champ to the limit…when I beat great women like Miss Vargas, and Miss Jazzy B…and where I was a miss who no other miss dared to mess with. A miss that many respected but knew the repercussions of pushing me too far.
I guess I have been too nice. I have been a little too trusting… I guess I need to change my attitude and be the miss that doesn’t just be respected for being too nice but also the miss that earns her respect by being the one that uses her nails to deform the women that need it….
Again I don’t have the answers to what I need to do…but I am not going to give up…I am not going to quit…I am going to fight and claw and do what is needed to earn those wins and get my wrestling career on track…and I am afraid at the very least some feelings are going to be hurt…AT THE LEAST…
[/i]
{Rose takes a break as she huffs and puffs and wipes some of her hair out of her face that immediately face back down.}
So Miss C it’s a shame you don’t think this charade I am performing isn’t cute. That calling you Miss C is not attractive or adorable for a high society Miss like yourself….It’s a shame that we couldn’t be friends after what I did to Miss Jenny…you know that former Starlet’s champ that I kind went crazy on that one time….
You know I can respect you…I mean you are a strong willed Miss that tries to back up her words with actions…you have been fighting for a long while Miss C and I can respect what you are doing…but unfortunately you are the type of women who look down on people like me…well women who haven’t spent years of their lives falsely imprisoned in a mental facility…but misses like me just the same. Misses who don’t make as much as you do…women who actually have real jobs…and misses who can’t afford the work done on your body that you have…and believe me we all can tell…it is not hard to see…
The point of that is to say you are vain…and vanity is something that keeps a miss from reality…you know the thing where we don’t treat a miss like trash because they shop at Target…when is the last time you shopped at one of those…
Now I am not saying that you need to shop at Target…or that you need to get rid of your high priced ways…you have money, enjoy Miss C….there I go again being adorable….what I am saying though is that you need to stop frowning upon people who do…and don’t tell me you don’t because you do….
What you need to do…and what I am going to do on Saturday is to beat some reality into you…show you that you are not the only miss out there…and that you are not the best of all worlds….because you are not…
I am going to show you that I am the real Rose in this federation and that I am not using the term Rose just because it sounds cool…it is fashionable…or the like…
I am a Rose…whose thorns are just as deadly as it looks beautiful…and while you may look the part…I highly doubt anyone thinks of you having any real deadly nature…
Yes war isn’t a beautiful thing…but that is what is going to happen in that ring on Saturday…and at the end of the day…I am bringing you down to Earth and that not only will your ego be bruised with a loss…but your face is going to need even more work…
[/i]
{With that Rose puts down the camera and the scene fades to black signaling the end of segment.}
It wasn’t just that but the string of losses that I have had as of late. While Mr. Nate was fighting valiantly and fighting for his cause but I on the other hand felt like dead weight losing matches that I know I could win, but wasn’t.
What was happening?
What wasn’t I doing?
What did I need to do?
Something just wasn’t clicking as I racked my brain to figure things out. One night though as I tried to sleep but only tossed and turned while clutching my Miss Rainbow Dash pony who was generally helpful in helping in these sleepless night….but even that wasn’t helping. I had to get up. I was tired enough to go to sleep, but my body just didn’t want to stay in bed….I guess it wasn’t going to be that type of night.
I tossed the covers off and groggy as I was headed out of my room and down the stairs toward the kitchen where I started the coffee pot knowing I was going to be awake no matter whether if I was tired or not.
Suddenly I heard a voice coming from the back door.
“Can’t sleep?” The voice asked scaring me to the point that I almost dropped my Mr. Tigger cup on the ground. The voice obviously was Mr. Nate’s and I should have almost realized that the poor Mister never really slept.
“Can’t you tell Mr. Nate?” I asked fumbling my cup before putting it back on the counter. “Do you ever sleep yourself Mr. Nate?”
“So I guess yes to the first question and I have no idea on the second.” Mr. Nate said with a grin on his face as he was half in the house and half out holding his cigarette that he was currently smoking outside. The grin on Mr. Nate’s face slowly turned into something more cold after seeing the look on my face that said – Not Now.
“Okay what is the problem?” Mr. Nate asked seeing that I obviously was not my normal self.
I took a deep sigh as I poured my cup of coffee. “I don’t know Mr. Nate…I’m losing and I don’t know why…”
“And that’s what’s keeping you up?”
I nodded as I poured sugar and creamer.
“I see…” Mr. Nate said nodding himself. “Make me a cup of coffee and meet me outside and we will talk about it sis.”
I was kind of perturbed with what Mr. Nate said at first as I grabbed an empty mug and filled a cup of coffee for Mr. Nate. Slowly as I fixed Mr. Nate his cup I really realized that this was going to be a come to Jesus meeting for me. Just like when Mr. Nate had his troubles and went through his rough patch…tonight was his turn to look out for me.
After I finished making the cups I picked them both up and headed out the open back door. Mr. Nate was standing there smoking a brand new cigarette waiting for me to come out. I handed him his cup which he took quite appreciatively. We both stood out there enjoying the coffee as we acclimatized to the cooler weather with the hot coffee now in our system. The ocean air was cold but for whatever reason I was not shivering and shaking…it was definitely a feeling of coldness but I was definitely not reacting to it.
“So you’re going through a slump?” Mr. Nate asked quite frankly after a few minutes of us standing there in almost total darkness drinking our coffee.
I nodded looking in the direction of Mr. Nate who I could only distinguish from the burning end of his cigarette. “I don’t know…I was doing so well…but I feel like I am losing it.”
I couldn’t distinguish the expressions or minute motions of Mr. Nate. All I could see was Nathan bringing up his cigarette and taking a drag and hear him breathing out the smoke.
“You know the same thing happened to me right?”
“Yes, Mr. Nate.”
“And you know you were the one that picked me up when I was the furthest I can go down?”
“Of course Mr. Nate.”
“Well let me give you some insight into what happened to me. When I went on my downward spiral after a slight bit of success…I wanted to find the answers much like yourself. The honest part was that the answers never really showed up.”
I was shocked to hear that. I thought at one time he had the ideas…but that was struck aside with one statement.
“Believe me I tried…oh I tried…but you know what…the answers never came. In the end though I was wrestling one night and things just clicked. I didn’t see the answers…but for some reason it just clicked and it hasn’t changed especially now as I fight my battles against the system.”
“So what I do Mr. Nate? I mean I…” I started to say before Mr. Nate spoke up.
“The thing to do,” Mr. Nate said leaning in close to me so at that point I could actually see his face, “is one be patient, and be persistent…you may change things up, but go with that flow and do what you need to do and I am sure those things with click before long…” Mr. Nate paused as he took another drag of his cigarette. “In fact for the time being just do your thing…don’t worry about me…do you.”
“What about our fight against Adam?”
“Don’t worry your time and your role will come…but use this time while this war is in its infancy to prepare yourself. Believe me you earned it….”
{The scene opens up with the camera facing a concrete pillar in an abandoned warehouse. As soon as the scene comes on Rose comes in front of the camera and picks it off the tripod and turns it so that the frame showed the face of Rose and only the face of Rose. Her is down and slightly disheveled with her bangs covering part of her face. Rose looks into the lens her eyes piercing the hearts and minds of the audience watching. She takes several deep breaths, one after another, before finally speaking into the camera.}
So another week and another loss. A loss that that was mine and mine alone. A loss that I will not put on my two other two partners...one of which is my opponent for my match on Saturday, on Trauma Miss Crystal, whom I affectionately call Miss C.
So you see Miss C when I lose I take responsibility for it. I didn’t put it on you due to the fact that you guys were more interested in what was going on outside the ring than what was going on inside of it.
No I won’t put my loss on you because in the end I…was the one that got pinned…and I….was the one that didn’t respond to the count….It was all my fault.
{Rose continues to breathe heavily as she brushes a few strands of her hair out of her face while a good portion of her bangs still hang on her face.}
Unfortunately this has been a trend as of late. I have seen losses…ESPECIALLY…from misses that I should have beaten….that I know I could have beaten but for some reason I haven’t beaten.
It’s been driving me nuts why I have been losing. I have no reason…especially with the wins I have been able to pick up before I left the first time….where I pushed the Starlet’s Champ to the limit…when I beat great women like Miss Vargas, and Miss Jazzy B…and where I was a miss who no other miss dared to mess with. A miss that many respected but knew the repercussions of pushing me too far.
I guess I have been too nice. I have been a little too trusting… I guess I need to change my attitude and be the miss that doesn’t just be respected for being too nice but also the miss that earns her respect by being the one that uses her nails to deform the women that need it….
Again I don’t have the answers to what I need to do…but I am not going to give up…I am not going to quit…I am going to fight and claw and do what is needed to earn those wins and get my wrestling career on track…and I am afraid at the very least some feelings are going to be hurt…AT THE LEAST…
[/i]
{Rose takes a break as she huffs and puffs and wipes some of her hair out of her face that immediately face back down.}
So Miss C it’s a shame you don’t think this charade I am performing isn’t cute. That calling you Miss C is not attractive or adorable for a high society Miss like yourself….It’s a shame that we couldn’t be friends after what I did to Miss Jenny…you know that former Starlet’s champ that I kind went crazy on that one time….
You know I can respect you…I mean you are a strong willed Miss that tries to back up her words with actions…you have been fighting for a long while Miss C and I can respect what you are doing…but unfortunately you are the type of women who look down on people like me…well women who haven’t spent years of their lives falsely imprisoned in a mental facility…but misses like me just the same. Misses who don’t make as much as you do…women who actually have real jobs…and misses who can’t afford the work done on your body that you have…and believe me we all can tell…it is not hard to see…
The point of that is to say you are vain…and vanity is something that keeps a miss from reality…you know the thing where we don’t treat a miss like trash because they shop at Target…when is the last time you shopped at one of those…
Now I am not saying that you need to shop at Target…or that you need to get rid of your high priced ways…you have money, enjoy Miss C….there I go again being adorable….what I am saying though is that you need to stop frowning upon people who do…and don’t tell me you don’t because you do….
What you need to do…and what I am going to do on Saturday is to beat some reality into you…show you that you are not the only miss out there…and that you are not the best of all worlds….because you are not…
I am going to show you that I am the real Rose in this federation and that I am not using the term Rose just because it sounds cool…it is fashionable…or the like…
I am a Rose…whose thorns are just as deadly as it looks beautiful…and while you may look the part…I highly doubt anyone thinks of you having any real deadly nature…
Yes war isn’t a beautiful thing…but that is what is going to happen in that ring on Saturday…and at the end of the day…I am bringing you down to Earth and that not only will your ego be bruised with a loss…but your face is going to need even more work…
[/i]
{With that Rose puts down the camera and the scene fades to black signaling the end of segment.}