Post by Jasmine Barrera on Jan 26, 2013 6:57:02 GMT -6
I'll be honest here, I haven't given much thought to wrestling recently. I know, I lost out on several wins that were well within my grasp. Addisyn Starr, Mercedes Vargas, and list goes on and on of people I could have, should have beaten, but I just...was disinterested. Wrestling was never my main goal, even hanging out with Crystal didn't spark any lost flame. I was more concerned with things outside of the ring. And for that, for my fans, I apologize.
I should have been there, should have been more serious, should have been on top of things, but honestly, my life was in a rocky place, and I needed to stabilize it before returning my focus to the ring. I just hope you'll forgive me. I didn't mean to disrespect the fans and people who paid hard earned money to see me wrestle. That was never my intention. But for me, my life outside the ring was more important. Inside the ring, people take care of me, and I take care of them. Outside, there is no such courtesy. Outside, it's dog eat dog, and I needed to make sure I got my slice of the pie.
But I've sat here and thought about it a lot, thought about really focusing on the ring, and becoming successful, Something I have had the opportunity to do, and let it pass me by, just like the last few times I've been scheduled to wrestle. I wanted to, but just didn't have that burning desire I once had. It had been sucked out of me, well, not really, just pushed away for so long that the candle just didn't want to light.
Though you may not believe it, there's a lot to juggle for me, and at times, most recently, NCW has simply had to take a back seat. And for that, I am sorry. I want to make things right, and I intend to, because now, life is all good. I don't need to sleep with one eye open all the time, waiting to be discovered or figured out, or feel like I'm living on borrowed time all the time. No more paranoia. No more worrying.
At least, not as much.
Billy did me the biggest favor anyone has ever done for me, and helped me become independent of a group that held me up for so long, only to turn their guns on me for something I didn't do. I still know I have unfinished business in New York, and when the time comes, I will handle it. I will deal with good old fashioned revenge.
Venganza es un plato frío.
But that's a little while from now. Now that things are back to working well for me, I think my time in NCW needs to clearly be better spent. I need to start winning. There's a vacant starlet's title that I can win, and would really put me on the map wrestling wise. This is a golden opportunity, and while I've let all of them slip by me so far, now is a good a time as any to start getting back into the groove.
So I need to thank NCW for another opportunity to shine, when thy clearly could have simply let me fall by the waste side, even though I was already doing that to myself.
Muchas gracias, NCW., me hará que tanto usted, y mis fans orgulloso. Voy a estar a la altura del desafío que ha puesto en frente de mí.
Now that all that's out of the way, It's back to the grind of NCW, this week of Trauma, facing both Shelly-Taylor Jones and Emma Danielson. While I have great respect for both of them, this is a match I know I can win. A match that, if I was ever serious like Crystal or Jenny, I would dominate simply by setting my mind to it. Again, no disrespect, but I got trained by a former World Champion, and this is what I let myself become, even though I've got all the tools in front of me. An oversight I will no longer use as an excuse or a crutch.
It's time I finally started using my skills and abilities to win, because I know how good I can be, and not just on paper. It's time to stop being that bump on a log, and an "also-ran". No more of that. Shelly is a fine wrestler and a great person, but the latter doesn't really matter in the ring. I know she would like to simply use me and Emma as a stepping stone, but those days are over. No longer am I going to just let people beat me that I know I'm better than. I understand how dangerous Shelly is, she beat me in the Road to the Gold starlet's tournament, so I clearly owe her one. I owe it to her, and myself, and beat someone of her caliber and notch my own belt. I know it won't be easy, because she's skilled, but I know I can be the best, and I need to be better than her.
The same holds true for Emma. You can't get multiple startlet's title matches if at one point, you weren't very good. But that's the past, and Emma seems more pre-occupied with a stable or a group that never really had a chance of going anywhere, and 2/3rds of it's members are gone. There's only Emma left. And I believe she is a shell of what she used to be. But obviously, still plenty dangerous. She's big and strong, but she's never really had the heart. Not that I've shown mine too much, but this is as good a time as any, especially with an opponent like Emma.
But that's the idea. You need to come up against and defeat the top wrestlers in order to get a shot at holding the title. In order to be the best, you need to beat the best. And too many times have I just been in the mix for a title shot, or just added onto a match or thrown into a completely winnable situation and fail.
No more.
No more being used like a toy and tossed aside. It's time to finally, finally get this wrestling this kicked into high gear and become a champion that I know I can be. Just like Todd, Just like Jenny. Just like Crystal. I can be that woman who takes the reigns of NCW's starlet's division and takes it to places where it's never been. To remove the stench of whores, sex addicts, and bitches that have attempted to ruin the Starlet's division as a whole. I can do it.
I know I can.
Yo creo en mí mismo y mis habilidades, tengo todo lo que tiene, y comienza en Trauma.
In life, you step up, or step aside.
So Emma, Shelly, as much as I like you personally, is how much I know I'm better than you in the ring. step up, or step aside, you're choice. My suggesstion:
Get out of my way.
I should have been there, should have been more serious, should have been on top of things, but honestly, my life was in a rocky place, and I needed to stabilize it before returning my focus to the ring. I just hope you'll forgive me. I didn't mean to disrespect the fans and people who paid hard earned money to see me wrestle. That was never my intention. But for me, my life outside the ring was more important. Inside the ring, people take care of me, and I take care of them. Outside, there is no such courtesy. Outside, it's dog eat dog, and I needed to make sure I got my slice of the pie.
But I've sat here and thought about it a lot, thought about really focusing on the ring, and becoming successful, Something I have had the opportunity to do, and let it pass me by, just like the last few times I've been scheduled to wrestle. I wanted to, but just didn't have that burning desire I once had. It had been sucked out of me, well, not really, just pushed away for so long that the candle just didn't want to light.
Though you may not believe it, there's a lot to juggle for me, and at times, most recently, NCW has simply had to take a back seat. And for that, I am sorry. I want to make things right, and I intend to, because now, life is all good. I don't need to sleep with one eye open all the time, waiting to be discovered or figured out, or feel like I'm living on borrowed time all the time. No more paranoia. No more worrying.
At least, not as much.
Billy did me the biggest favor anyone has ever done for me, and helped me become independent of a group that held me up for so long, only to turn their guns on me for something I didn't do. I still know I have unfinished business in New York, and when the time comes, I will handle it. I will deal with good old fashioned revenge.
Venganza es un plato frío.
But that's a little while from now. Now that things are back to working well for me, I think my time in NCW needs to clearly be better spent. I need to start winning. There's a vacant starlet's title that I can win, and would really put me on the map wrestling wise. This is a golden opportunity, and while I've let all of them slip by me so far, now is a good a time as any to start getting back into the groove.
So I need to thank NCW for another opportunity to shine, when thy clearly could have simply let me fall by the waste side, even though I was already doing that to myself.
Muchas gracias, NCW., me hará que tanto usted, y mis fans orgulloso. Voy a estar a la altura del desafío que ha puesto en frente de mí.
Now that all that's out of the way, It's back to the grind of NCW, this week of Trauma, facing both Shelly-Taylor Jones and Emma Danielson. While I have great respect for both of them, this is a match I know I can win. A match that, if I was ever serious like Crystal or Jenny, I would dominate simply by setting my mind to it. Again, no disrespect, but I got trained by a former World Champion, and this is what I let myself become, even though I've got all the tools in front of me. An oversight I will no longer use as an excuse or a crutch.
It's time I finally started using my skills and abilities to win, because I know how good I can be, and not just on paper. It's time to stop being that bump on a log, and an "also-ran". No more of that. Shelly is a fine wrestler and a great person, but the latter doesn't really matter in the ring. I know she would like to simply use me and Emma as a stepping stone, but those days are over. No longer am I going to just let people beat me that I know I'm better than. I understand how dangerous Shelly is, she beat me in the Road to the Gold starlet's tournament, so I clearly owe her one. I owe it to her, and myself, and beat someone of her caliber and notch my own belt. I know it won't be easy, because she's skilled, but I know I can be the best, and I need to be better than her.
The same holds true for Emma. You can't get multiple startlet's title matches if at one point, you weren't very good. But that's the past, and Emma seems more pre-occupied with a stable or a group that never really had a chance of going anywhere, and 2/3rds of it's members are gone. There's only Emma left. And I believe she is a shell of what she used to be. But obviously, still plenty dangerous. She's big and strong, but she's never really had the heart. Not that I've shown mine too much, but this is as good a time as any, especially with an opponent like Emma.
But that's the idea. You need to come up against and defeat the top wrestlers in order to get a shot at holding the title. In order to be the best, you need to beat the best. And too many times have I just been in the mix for a title shot, or just added onto a match or thrown into a completely winnable situation and fail.
No more.
No more being used like a toy and tossed aside. It's time to finally, finally get this wrestling this kicked into high gear and become a champion that I know I can be. Just like Todd, Just like Jenny. Just like Crystal. I can be that woman who takes the reigns of NCW's starlet's division and takes it to places where it's never been. To remove the stench of whores, sex addicts, and bitches that have attempted to ruin the Starlet's division as a whole. I can do it.
I know I can.
Yo creo en mí mismo y mis habilidades, tengo todo lo que tiene, y comienza en Trauma.
In life, you step up, or step aside.
So Emma, Shelly, as much as I like you personally, is how much I know I'm better than you in the ring. step up, or step aside, you're choice. My suggesstion:
Get out of my way.