Post by Jabari Woodhead on Feb 22, 2013 13:32:20 GMT -6
The scene opens up with Chad Lights holding a microphone being towered over by Jabari Woodhead
Chad Lights: I am here with Jabari Woodhead, who will be going one on one with one half of The Second Rate Riders Davey Ortega. Thank you for being here.
Jabari just stares at Chad
Chad Lights: What are your thoughts on this match this week?
Jabari Woodhead: Boy, real hard hitting question right there. If you have watched Davey Ortega or the Second Rate Riders over the last week you should be able to see what my thoughts are. I'm going to go out and destroy Davey Ortega and after he gets embarrassed again maybe management will do what they should have done months ago and fire Davey Ortega's useless ass.
Chad Lights: Enlightening, I have heard rumors that you were arrested earlier this week for trying to solicite an undercover cop. Care to confirm or deny these rumors?
Jabari Woodhead: Chad, I'm pretty sure you are just asking that question to try and piss me off and maybe make me punch you in face. However, I was not arrested Wednesday night for trying to get with a prostitute who turned out to be an undercover cop. However on Wednesday I did have a wonderful dinner with someone that you might now Chad.
Chad Lights: Who is that?
Jabari Woodhead: It was actually your mother Chad, and you know what it was quite an enjoyable night. I wined and dined here before I took her back to my place and made her howl like a wolf.
Chad Lights: You son of a bitch.
Jabari Woodhead: Now to be fair Chad she did ask me out on the date plus you did ask me if I got arrested. I say were are even.
Chad Lights: Fine, next question.
Jabari Woodhead: Lay it on me.
Chad Lights: Do you honestly think that you can beat the Tag Team Champions?
Jabari Woodhead: Finally, a good question. **** ya I think Matt Jackson and I can beat Gib and Simon Daye. At some point there team will begin to strain when Simon Daye realizes that four-hundred year old Gib is holding him back is one suplex away from breaking his hip. They do have a good mix of experience and youth but honestly youth will win out eventually. Simon will be able to wrestle for longer without getting tired but now Gibby can't do the same. As of right now Gib is a liability and Matt Jackson and me will take advantage of his advanced age and make him pay for it. You only have one question left, I got **** to do.
Chad Lights: Okay, thoughts on Davey Ortega?
Jabari Woodhead: They guy is a joke, he thinks it's still 2007 or whenever it was that he won the world title. Then he disappeared and reappeared and disappeared again, I think this guy has appeared and disappeared more times in his career than Mark Evil and Spike Kane combined. I'm sure that he will disppear again after I beat him on Saturday night he will probably disappear again and hopefully for good this time. The worst part about that is it will once again leave Joe Everyman without a tag team partner. I guess Joe can always find some other lose to team with and continue on his decent into wrestling hell losing to the likes of Hexx and Mimic and Team Nacho or whatever the **** they are called. Davey Ortega and Joe Everyman's stocks are falling when Matt Jackson and me's stock are skyrocketing. You better by in now when the price is still low and ride us all the way to the top. After I get done destroying Davey Ortega Saturday night I got myself another date.
Chad Lights: With who?
Jabari Woodhead: I'll give you a hint, it's not your mom.
Chad Lights: Well that's good, who is it?
Jabari Woodhead: It's your sister, turns out she's got a little bit of the jungle fever and I'm hoping that I'll be able to help her get over that.
As Jabari was finishing his answer he had started walking away and got next to a door and opens it.
Chad Lights: I'LL ****ING KILL YOU!!!
Jabari Woodhead: You will have to catch me first
Jabari exits through the door as the scene fades to black
Chad Lights: I am here with Jabari Woodhead, who will be going one on one with one half of The Second Rate Riders Davey Ortega. Thank you for being here.
Jabari just stares at Chad
Chad Lights: What are your thoughts on this match this week?
Jabari Woodhead: Boy, real hard hitting question right there. If you have watched Davey Ortega or the Second Rate Riders over the last week you should be able to see what my thoughts are. I'm going to go out and destroy Davey Ortega and after he gets embarrassed again maybe management will do what they should have done months ago and fire Davey Ortega's useless ass.
Chad Lights: Enlightening, I have heard rumors that you were arrested earlier this week for trying to solicite an undercover cop. Care to confirm or deny these rumors?
Jabari Woodhead: Chad, I'm pretty sure you are just asking that question to try and piss me off and maybe make me punch you in face. However, I was not arrested Wednesday night for trying to get with a prostitute who turned out to be an undercover cop. However on Wednesday I did have a wonderful dinner with someone that you might now Chad.
Chad Lights: Who is that?
Jabari Woodhead: It was actually your mother Chad, and you know what it was quite an enjoyable night. I wined and dined here before I took her back to my place and made her howl like a wolf.
Chad Lights: You son of a bitch.
Jabari Woodhead: Now to be fair Chad she did ask me out on the date plus you did ask me if I got arrested. I say were are even.
Chad Lights: Fine, next question.
Jabari Woodhead: Lay it on me.
Chad Lights: Do you honestly think that you can beat the Tag Team Champions?
Jabari Woodhead: Finally, a good question. **** ya I think Matt Jackson and I can beat Gib and Simon Daye. At some point there team will begin to strain when Simon Daye realizes that four-hundred year old Gib is holding him back is one suplex away from breaking his hip. They do have a good mix of experience and youth but honestly youth will win out eventually. Simon will be able to wrestle for longer without getting tired but now Gibby can't do the same. As of right now Gib is a liability and Matt Jackson and me will take advantage of his advanced age and make him pay for it. You only have one question left, I got **** to do.
Chad Lights: Okay, thoughts on Davey Ortega?
Jabari Woodhead: They guy is a joke, he thinks it's still 2007 or whenever it was that he won the world title. Then he disappeared and reappeared and disappeared again, I think this guy has appeared and disappeared more times in his career than Mark Evil and Spike Kane combined. I'm sure that he will disppear again after I beat him on Saturday night he will probably disappear again and hopefully for good this time. The worst part about that is it will once again leave Joe Everyman without a tag team partner. I guess Joe can always find some other lose to team with and continue on his decent into wrestling hell losing to the likes of Hexx and Mimic and Team Nacho or whatever the **** they are called. Davey Ortega and Joe Everyman's stocks are falling when Matt Jackson and me's stock are skyrocketing. You better by in now when the price is still low and ride us all the way to the top. After I get done destroying Davey Ortega Saturday night I got myself another date.
Chad Lights: With who?
Jabari Woodhead: I'll give you a hint, it's not your mom.
Chad Lights: Well that's good, who is it?
Jabari Woodhead: It's your sister, turns out she's got a little bit of the jungle fever and I'm hoping that I'll be able to help her get over that.
As Jabari was finishing his answer he had started walking away and got next to a door and opens it.
Chad Lights: I'LL ****ING KILL YOU!!!
Jabari Woodhead: You will have to catch me first
Jabari exits through the door as the scene fades to black