Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Apr 6, 2013 2:47:46 GMT -6
*We open on Curtis D. Kanyon slumped down in his throne, an ice pack being applied to his head.*
Curtis: Damnit. Damnit damnit damnit! I fell to Burns! I mean, he had the fire of a man scorned by a world title loss as well as a man who'd seen his friend beaten into the hospital twice when he looked at me, but I had the power of Thor behind me! I had dirty tricks and a level head on my side, and still I fell. It was just not meant to be. He had more favor with Thor that day. But the battle was epic, the highest ratings Trauma has seen in over a year! And that's what's important. The message was spread and Kelly's pockets are full. My family is fed. I did well enough that they gave me Trauma's main event slot again. I'll take it, I'll run with it, I'll destroy Caleb. But I'm not here to main event just Trauma. Thor deserves better. The Church of Thor should be main eventing every night, every show, every pay-per-view. But I ain't been on the greatest streak lately. The church hssn't been on the best streak lately. I don't even know where Howdy is. Cyrus and Stephan haven't returned my calls since our tough love spat. But all we need is a win. All we need is a little boost to our morale and all will be well...right? Yes, yes it will.
*Curtis reaches for his hammer and starts to lift it, but fumbles and it falls to the floor, clanging about.*
Curtis: Damnit. Too far. Ah well.
*Curtis slumps back into his chair.*
Curtis: So it is that it falls upon my head to bolster the spirits of the troops. I am the breaker of worlds, I am Thor's archangel, so if anyone could do it, it would be me. Which I suppose brings me to my unworthy opponent.
*Curtis waves his hand around nonchalantly.*
Curtis: Caleb Lockwood. Heh...wood. Look here Cal-el, I don't have time to mess around this week. I'm looking to beat the piss out of the Ace. I'm looking to make an impact. Last week, I almost impacted his skull, but I got the wrong guy. He got pissed, but whatevs, I'm over him. I have a losing streak to snap out of, and I'm going to do so by snapping you in half. So help me I will. Just roll with it Cale, it's the best way to not get permanently injured.
*Curtis slowly gets up out of his chair and staggers over to the round table. Once into view, the viewer can see many beer cans strewn all over the table. Curtis shrugs.*
Curtis: Or don't, I don't care. It's your career. All I know is, I'm a man on a mission, a mission from the almighty one, and though I have been hindered, I have not fallen in my mission. I will not fall. I will go through Calbert, I will go through all the mistaken identities, and I will go through The Ace. It will be written for years to come. You will love to tell your children my story of excellence before Sunday Thor service. I am the worthy.
*Curtis staggers a bit and leans against the table.*
Curtis: ...and Rob, I rue nothing...ever. So don't bother. Bitch.
*Curtis passes out. The scene fades.*
Curtis: Damnit. Damnit damnit damnit! I fell to Burns! I mean, he had the fire of a man scorned by a world title loss as well as a man who'd seen his friend beaten into the hospital twice when he looked at me, but I had the power of Thor behind me! I had dirty tricks and a level head on my side, and still I fell. It was just not meant to be. He had more favor with Thor that day. But the battle was epic, the highest ratings Trauma has seen in over a year! And that's what's important. The message was spread and Kelly's pockets are full. My family is fed. I did well enough that they gave me Trauma's main event slot again. I'll take it, I'll run with it, I'll destroy Caleb. But I'm not here to main event just Trauma. Thor deserves better. The Church of Thor should be main eventing every night, every show, every pay-per-view. But I ain't been on the greatest streak lately. The church hssn't been on the best streak lately. I don't even know where Howdy is. Cyrus and Stephan haven't returned my calls since our tough love spat. But all we need is a win. All we need is a little boost to our morale and all will be well...right? Yes, yes it will.
*Curtis reaches for his hammer and starts to lift it, but fumbles and it falls to the floor, clanging about.*
Curtis: Damnit. Too far. Ah well.
*Curtis slumps back into his chair.*
Curtis: So it is that it falls upon my head to bolster the spirits of the troops. I am the breaker of worlds, I am Thor's archangel, so if anyone could do it, it would be me. Which I suppose brings me to my unworthy opponent.
*Curtis waves his hand around nonchalantly.*
Curtis: Caleb Lockwood. Heh...wood. Look here Cal-el, I don't have time to mess around this week. I'm looking to beat the piss out of the Ace. I'm looking to make an impact. Last week, I almost impacted his skull, but I got the wrong guy. He got pissed, but whatevs, I'm over him. I have a losing streak to snap out of, and I'm going to do so by snapping you in half. So help me I will. Just roll with it Cale, it's the best way to not get permanently injured.
*Curtis slowly gets up out of his chair and staggers over to the round table. Once into view, the viewer can see many beer cans strewn all over the table. Curtis shrugs.*
Curtis: Or don't, I don't care. It's your career. All I know is, I'm a man on a mission, a mission from the almighty one, and though I have been hindered, I have not fallen in my mission. I will not fall. I will go through Calbert, I will go through all the mistaken identities, and I will go through The Ace. It will be written for years to come. You will love to tell your children my story of excellence before Sunday Thor service. I am the worthy.
*Curtis staggers a bit and leans against the table.*
Curtis: ...and Rob, I rue nothing...ever. So don't bother. Bitch.
*Curtis passes out. The scene fades.*