Post by Xavier Cross on Apr 15, 2013 8:46:23 GMT -6
Gumbel: "I'm sitting down with former nCw star, and
let's be honest, failed movie star. Xavier Cross!"
-crowd applauds as Xavier Cross stands up from his chair,
waving and then looks at Gumbel with an annoyed look-
Cross: "Failed movie star? Really. The show barely
started and you're going to say that. Rough.."
Gumbel: "I mean, let's be honest. 'Badge of Brothers'
would have done better with Segal in it. I mean you played a broken detective
who is seeing his wife's ghost, which lead not only to her killer, but to the
main bad guy of a terrorist organization. Really?! And who can't forget 'Diaper
Duty', where you played a Marine Day Care Center operated, when the kid's are
kidnapped you have to prove you're not just a baby sitter, but a Marine. However,
I personally enjoyed 'Dear Juan' the obvious rip off of Channing Tatum's 'Dear
John'..."
Cross: "Whoa! It was not a rip off! It was a Spanish
interpretation! And the fact is, my acting was great! The movie's well...not so
much..."
Gumbel: "Eh, You're no Keanu Reeves, but the people
want to know Xavier, what have you been up to?"
Cross: "Being a full time dad really. It's funny,
wrestling I'd always fly home, see the kids for a few days then jet off again
to the next arena. Working in movies, I get to spend months at a time between
shoots. You know, keep in touch with the crew."
Gumbel: "Speaking of which, there have been rumors
floating around...and now that I got you here, The world wants to know. Are you
'Fitting the clap flap' of Zelda Knite?"
Cross: "Am I What?"
Gumbel: "You know, uh, Hobble the Horsie?"
Cross: "Are you having a stroke?"
Gumbel: "C'mon man, parking the beef bus in tuna town?"
Cross: "Are you offering me a sandwich?"
Gumbel: "Cross! Seriously. Are you doing two-person
push ups?"
Cross: "I mean, we work out together, but that's a
strange question to ask..."
Gumbel: "NO! You know take “old one-eye” to the
optometrist?"
Cross: "Gib has great vision actually, especially at
his age..."
Gumbel: "Go fishing?"
Cross: "No we mainly play video games..."
-Bryant Gumbel sighs, obviously realizing his message isn’t
being received. Cross sits there, a bit confused by the whole process. –
Gumbel: “Batter dipping the corn dog? Hot Beef Injection?
Mingle Limbs? Park the Plymouth in the Garage of Love? Pass the Gravy?”
Cross: “I don’t eat carnival foods. That doesn’t make sense.
I drive a BMW, and what gravy?”
-Gumbel slams his head on the desk. Cross gives a quick wink
to the crowd.-
Cross: “To answer your question Bryant, we are not having
sex. Adam is a good friend, and Zelda kind of tags along and we got to know
each other. Based of casual game arguments, and she’s just a cool chick.”
Gumbel: “Why the hell did you lead me on?”
Cross: “I was curious to see how many metaphors you had for
sex. I mean really man. That’s kind of sick.”
Gumbel: “So…now that, that is settled, you have something
you want to share with the crowd and the people watching at home.”
Cross: “Watch Game of Thrones every…Oh wait, that’s not it.
The fact is, obviously I haven’t found the right script yet, and there is a
time and place for everything. There is a lot of unfinished business I have to
attend to. So right here, right now, I’m announcing my return to New
Championship Wrestling. Mostly because any other interview, I can’t say ****.
And that’s ****ing cool.”
Gumbel: “Wait, so you agreed to this interview just so you
could swear on the air?”
Cross: “I mean basically. Though I’m fairly certain no one
watches this show anymore. I mean ESPN is so much better.”
Gumbel: “What’d you say to me?”
The two men stand up, as the screen goes to a ‘Sorry
Technical Difficulties…’
-A few seconds later-
The screen opens back up, with Cross sitting on the desk a
grin on his face.
“The fact is, there is one major unsettled business. A few
years back, I won myself a handy-dandy, World Title Shot. There was no date
attached to it, an open invitation to challenge for the title. I own a large
piece of power. And it’s about time I did something with it.”
He proceeds to hold up a tattered brown brief case, a few
old drink ring stains on it, a ‘My Chemical Romance’ sticker, another sticker
of Zac Efron, and obvious mustard stain.
“Fear Me!”
Cross holds up the brief case like a sword, but doesn’t
anticipate the face the handle swings, as it falls down and hits him in the
back of the head, stumbling forward he crashes into the camera.
-end-