Post by Rob Diamond on May 6, 2013 9:22:51 GMT -6
That monkey loving son of an beast! I knew it! I freaking knew it! I knew it and I didn't do a damn thing about it! Crikey I feel like a moron. Well I guess that's what I get for expecting a retard to do what's expected of him.
THANKS FOR NOTHING KANYON!
Well congrats on your evil plan Daye, you screwed me out of match against the Ace and now I will have to live the rest of my life listening to him talk about that one time he got that one win over me in that one match that probably didn't mean a damn thing to him until he won...
Dick.
Whatever, I can't think about this crap right now, I've got too many other things to do or whatever. And oh, by the way, I'm doing this promo with first person narration now so you can go ahead and suck my fat left butter pecan scented nut.
I'm backstage, visibly pissed off so people stay the FREAKKE THE CLOWN out of my way. I walk around like a tough guy for a few minutes, just really playing up how mad I am for the NCW behind the scenes cameras that are always watching us. I throw a couple of things and scream...
"KHANNNNNNN!!!!!!.... Er... DAYE!!!!!!!"
Then go straight back to pacing. From down the hallway I hear a little giggle and I turn and there she freaking is, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life... And the seven headed dragon whore from hell holding her...
"Hope..."
I'm a little baffled, I didn't think Kate would take the tickets or come to the show. I figured she was a cold hearted ogre who just wants my money. Looks like I was only mostly right. Anyway, I walk over to her, she's holding my daughter, a beautiful bundle of joy who gets the most heart melting grin on her face the second I look at her... This is the first time I've ever laid eyes on her and it's... It's...
Indescribable...
"May I?"
Kate hands her to me. She's wrapped up in a pink blanket, her little hands wrapped around her chest. She hardly weighs anything at all but I can feel a massive weight on my chest and a lump in my throat as I look at her.
This is the most amazing moment in my entire life...
She's got dirty brown, almost black hair like mine, piercing green eyes like her mother, but her face... God her face looks just like mine... She's gorgeous...
"How could you keep her from me?"
"Rob... I didn't want to..."
"No? then why did you?"
"Jack... It's what he wanted... Everything was his idea..."
Jack... That sorry sack of crap whose been pretending to be my daughter's father. Just thinking about him makes me think that life in prison may not be so bad.
"I don't care what he wants. This is my daughter. You guys don't have-"
"Instead of arguing why not try and enjoy the little bit of time you have together. We can't stay long. He's going to know I was here."
She's right. It's not worth it. Why spoil this moment when it's so freaking perfect.
I look at her again and it all just melts away. Daye's dicklessness is nothing more than a distant memory in my mind as I look into the vibrant green eyes of my beautiful baby girl. A baby I'd only ever dreamed about until this moment.
I can't help but think of everything Zelda and I used to talk about... Still talk about sometimes... About the families we wished we had. About the things we wanted to do differently than our families. About how much love we'd shower on our kids until they were freaking sickened by it. I look at this little girl and I think about what I wouldn't do for her and there isn't a damn thing. I'd break the world if I had to...
"I have to go..."
"I know..."
Kate reaches for her but Hope's little hand wraps itself around my index finger and I can feel it... I can feel the iron trap around my heart freaking shatter as Kate pry's her out of my hands.
"I want to see her again..."
"I'll try Rob but... Well... Just be patient."
"Patient?"
"I didn't want this Rob but... He... I have to go..."
She doesn't say another word as she takes off down the hall way with my daughter...
I stand there, slumped up against the wall for a little while, just feeling like total crap. Feeling like I could just lay down with a nice tall tub of Ben a Jerry's and cry myself to sleep. I stand there and start to think about something else, something to get my mind off this, something that makes me pretty fracking angry...
"Daye."
Yeah. Daye. That little freaking weasel and his idiotic vendetta against me. I stand up, renewed, revitalized and pretty freaking pissed. I storm down the hall way, grab a table and flip that shiznit over like it took my sippy cup and bam! Just like that there's an NCw camera waiting for me.
I smirk at it, I mean seriously, these guys seem to be everywhere. Talk about no life.
"You know what you ball-less little turd? I'm getting pretty sick of this. I mean sure, at first it was pretty funny, even cute that you tried to blame me for having not a single nut in that monstrosity you call a sack of yours, it was even comical, but now? Now it's just getting freaking annoying."
In reality it was always pretty annoying but I was still able to laugh about how pathetic he is. I'm not laughing today.
"You cost me my last match, Daye, and if I know Adam Knite like I think I know Adam Knite then he went from booking us in a tag team match with each other to booking us against each other in some ridiculous cluster of a match."
Whip out the cell phone, boot up the NCW app and there it is, eight man elimination tag or something. Awesome.
"Let me put this for you really simply Daye so you don't go hurting your head trying to wrap your mind around this. I do not care who they put in between us, Gib, Bushido, that other guy, Washington, Steve or even Cross... I am going to break your scrawny little neck Sunday. Ya hear me?"
Probably hard to do with his head so full of ****.
"I'd love to walk out there and be like HEY! Last Collision!? I'm going to put on a hell of a show for all those lovely people who spent money to see me put on a hell of a show. INSTEAD! I'm not going to put on a show. I'm not going to crotch chop a single face or even smirk just a little tiny bit. I'm going to come down to the that ring, freak tagging in, grab you by your vagina like a bowling ball and bash your head into something hard until your brain matter starts to leak out all over the crowd. THEN!!!!!! I'm going to drag you backstage into Zelda's locker room so you have something nice to look at as I BREAK YOUR FREAKING NECK!"
A little too graphic? NAH!
"Then, if your still alive somehow, I'm going to operate the camera while Cross and Zelda make their very own sex tape, that way you have something to watch in the hospital while they try and rehabilitate your pathetic little self. Not that there is any known cure for NOT HAVING A PENIS!"
Told you I was angry.
"As for the rest of you, I hope you guys have a great match. I know Gib and I aren't on great terms and I know the foreign dudes wanna kick each other's asses and that's great but come on guys, this is the last collision. You should give the fans something worth talking about. And my partners, my brother Steve, Washington and Zelda's new boo, I'd love to fight by your sides and really just go out with a bang but I'm sorry. I can't. It'd be sweet if things were different and I could fight the good fight by your side and all that other stuff I'm sure people who are on the last collision are saying. But this week I'd much rather find out exactly how much blood is in the human body when I beat it all out of that little freaking worm Daye."
I shrug because I really don't know what else to do or say, it's the freaking truth. I'd love to verbally rip everyone apart in this match but honestly, I could care less, I just wanna see Daye bleed a little lota bit.
"Suck it."
Crotch chop. Face palm. Shove the camera aside. It's time for me to get the hell out of here.
Once I get to my locker room I relax a little, I start thinking about Hope again but something breaks me out of my little day dream.
"Rob?"
It's Zelda, she went ahead and let herself in.
"I gotta talk to you about what you said the other night."
Man, I know that face... This isn't going to be a fun conversation... For me...
THANKS FOR NOTHING KANYON!
Well congrats on your evil plan Daye, you screwed me out of match against the Ace and now I will have to live the rest of my life listening to him talk about that one time he got that one win over me in that one match that probably didn't mean a damn thing to him until he won...
Dick.
Whatever, I can't think about this crap right now, I've got too many other things to do or whatever. And oh, by the way, I'm doing this promo with first person narration now so you can go ahead and suck my fat left butter pecan scented nut.
I'm backstage, visibly pissed off so people stay the FREAKKE THE CLOWN out of my way. I walk around like a tough guy for a few minutes, just really playing up how mad I am for the NCW behind the scenes cameras that are always watching us. I throw a couple of things and scream...
"KHANNNNNNN!!!!!!.... Er... DAYE!!!!!!!"
Then go straight back to pacing. From down the hallway I hear a little giggle and I turn and there she freaking is, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life... And the seven headed dragon whore from hell holding her...
"Hope..."
I'm a little baffled, I didn't think Kate would take the tickets or come to the show. I figured she was a cold hearted ogre who just wants my money. Looks like I was only mostly right. Anyway, I walk over to her, she's holding my daughter, a beautiful bundle of joy who gets the most heart melting grin on her face the second I look at her... This is the first time I've ever laid eyes on her and it's... It's...
Indescribable...
"May I?"
Kate hands her to me. She's wrapped up in a pink blanket, her little hands wrapped around her chest. She hardly weighs anything at all but I can feel a massive weight on my chest and a lump in my throat as I look at her.
This is the most amazing moment in my entire life...
She's got dirty brown, almost black hair like mine, piercing green eyes like her mother, but her face... God her face looks just like mine... She's gorgeous...
"How could you keep her from me?"
"Rob... I didn't want to..."
"No? then why did you?"
"Jack... It's what he wanted... Everything was his idea..."
Jack... That sorry sack of crap whose been pretending to be my daughter's father. Just thinking about him makes me think that life in prison may not be so bad.
"I don't care what he wants. This is my daughter. You guys don't have-"
"Instead of arguing why not try and enjoy the little bit of time you have together. We can't stay long. He's going to know I was here."
She's right. It's not worth it. Why spoil this moment when it's so freaking perfect.
I look at her again and it all just melts away. Daye's dicklessness is nothing more than a distant memory in my mind as I look into the vibrant green eyes of my beautiful baby girl. A baby I'd only ever dreamed about until this moment.
I can't help but think of everything Zelda and I used to talk about... Still talk about sometimes... About the families we wished we had. About the things we wanted to do differently than our families. About how much love we'd shower on our kids until they were freaking sickened by it. I look at this little girl and I think about what I wouldn't do for her and there isn't a damn thing. I'd break the world if I had to...
"I have to go..."
"I know..."
Kate reaches for her but Hope's little hand wraps itself around my index finger and I can feel it... I can feel the iron trap around my heart freaking shatter as Kate pry's her out of my hands.
"I want to see her again..."
"I'll try Rob but... Well... Just be patient."
"Patient?"
"I didn't want this Rob but... He... I have to go..."
She doesn't say another word as she takes off down the hall way with my daughter...
I stand there, slumped up against the wall for a little while, just feeling like total crap. Feeling like I could just lay down with a nice tall tub of Ben a Jerry's and cry myself to sleep. I stand there and start to think about something else, something to get my mind off this, something that makes me pretty fracking angry...
"Daye."
Yeah. Daye. That little freaking weasel and his idiotic vendetta against me. I stand up, renewed, revitalized and pretty freaking pissed. I storm down the hall way, grab a table and flip that shiznit over like it took my sippy cup and bam! Just like that there's an NCw camera waiting for me.
I smirk at it, I mean seriously, these guys seem to be everywhere. Talk about no life.
"You know what you ball-less little turd? I'm getting pretty sick of this. I mean sure, at first it was pretty funny, even cute that you tried to blame me for having not a single nut in that monstrosity you call a sack of yours, it was even comical, but now? Now it's just getting freaking annoying."
In reality it was always pretty annoying but I was still able to laugh about how pathetic he is. I'm not laughing today.
"You cost me my last match, Daye, and if I know Adam Knite like I think I know Adam Knite then he went from booking us in a tag team match with each other to booking us against each other in some ridiculous cluster of a match."
Whip out the cell phone, boot up the NCW app and there it is, eight man elimination tag or something. Awesome.
"Let me put this for you really simply Daye so you don't go hurting your head trying to wrap your mind around this. I do not care who they put in between us, Gib, Bushido, that other guy, Washington, Steve or even Cross... I am going to break your scrawny little neck Sunday. Ya hear me?"
Probably hard to do with his head so full of ****.
"I'd love to walk out there and be like HEY! Last Collision!? I'm going to put on a hell of a show for all those lovely people who spent money to see me put on a hell of a show. INSTEAD! I'm not going to put on a show. I'm not going to crotch chop a single face or even smirk just a little tiny bit. I'm going to come down to the that ring, freak tagging in, grab you by your vagina like a bowling ball and bash your head into something hard until your brain matter starts to leak out all over the crowd. THEN!!!!!! I'm going to drag you backstage into Zelda's locker room so you have something nice to look at as I BREAK YOUR FREAKING NECK!"
A little too graphic? NAH!
"Then, if your still alive somehow, I'm going to operate the camera while Cross and Zelda make their very own sex tape, that way you have something to watch in the hospital while they try and rehabilitate your pathetic little self. Not that there is any known cure for NOT HAVING A PENIS!"
Told you I was angry.
"As for the rest of you, I hope you guys have a great match. I know Gib and I aren't on great terms and I know the foreign dudes wanna kick each other's asses and that's great but come on guys, this is the last collision. You should give the fans something worth talking about. And my partners, my brother Steve, Washington and Zelda's new boo, I'd love to fight by your sides and really just go out with a bang but I'm sorry. I can't. It'd be sweet if things were different and I could fight the good fight by your side and all that other stuff I'm sure people who are on the last collision are saying. But this week I'd much rather find out exactly how much blood is in the human body when I beat it all out of that little freaking worm Daye."
I shrug because I really don't know what else to do or say, it's the freaking truth. I'd love to verbally rip everyone apart in this match but honestly, I could care less, I just wanna see Daye bleed a little lota bit.
"Suck it."
Crotch chop. Face palm. Shove the camera aside. It's time for me to get the hell out of here.
Once I get to my locker room I relax a little, I start thinking about Hope again but something breaks me out of my little day dream.
"Rob?"
It's Zelda, she went ahead and let herself in.
"I gotta talk to you about what you said the other night."
Man, I know that face... This isn't going to be a fun conversation... For me...