Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Aug 20, 2007 9:52:43 GMT -6
Hey guys. This is the place where i'll be asking you all for feed back on my roleplays.
Feel free to give me constructive criticism only.
So, anyone want to give me feed back on my current or old roleplays?
What can I do to improve? Should I change the format of my roleplays? Etc
Cheers
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Post by Banny McBannedpants on Aug 20, 2007 15:36:49 GMT -6
I really enjoy the gimmick you've got going for your character. Many people don't realize that they've got "voices" talking to them every day. Some say it is their subconscious, but who is to say for sure right? I really enjoyed reading your rp...as the dream began, I sat up on the edge of my chair. It was pretty exciting and I'm looking forward to see what the next dream holds and what your next rp will be about. Keep up the great work!
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Aug 20, 2007 17:14:56 GMT -6
Yeah I like to think my "gimmick" is unique, he doesn't know whether he's crazy or there is an actual second person in his head talking to him and guiding him etc.
The dream sequence was just because I wanted to try something where I truley could have anything happen. And because having Manson in a training routine was getting boring lol.
Cheers for the feedback. Anyone else like to share their thoughts?
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Reckoning
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White Gangsta
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Post by Reckoning on Aug 21, 2007 14:46:18 GMT -6
Awesome man, that was fan-freaking-awesome-tastic. I LOVE the concept of the dreams and such, awesome just awesome.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Aug 28, 2007 16:48:14 GMT -6
Anyone got any feed back for my latest PPV roleplay?
Throw it in here.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
Posts: 914
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Post by Jack Manson on Sept 3, 2007 18:52:24 GMT -6
Please give me feed back on my new roleplay. One of the better ones, I feel i'm getting a good thing going with Manson's character now. Got some great idea's for him.
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Post by Spike Kane on Sept 3, 2007 18:55:40 GMT -6
Wow, what a roleplay. I was beginning to write one myself, but couldn't get into it, so I stopped and read yours.
A few things I dislike, and I'm being brutally honest; the whole changing scenes thing happens too much. It doesn't happen in the real thing, so it kinda reads like a novel.
The whole thing with the voice (and this is from experience as Spike has an imaginary friend xD) you have to realise people "watching" this will only see Jack talking to himself and then flipping out and choking himself.
Other than those, sweet roleplay man, and I respect you staying up so late to post it too.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Sept 3, 2007 19:02:33 GMT -6
Thanks for the feedback, yeah I do struggle with trying to keep one scene throughout in my roleplays. I just lose interest in them quickly I guess.
The whole voice thing is basically for Jack only. I've said it a few times before that only Jack knows about his voice. And I guess I should have mentioned that he was actually talking to the voice in his mind on the plane. And Tony was pretending to be asleep at the time lol.
I know you are supposed to give your opponents something to off of in roleplays but at the moment I don't want to have the "world" know about Jacks voice. I kind of have my own plans for that. Tony suspects something is going on and after what he witnessed on the plane his suspicions are growing.
That's why the only time I make it so the "world" can see what Jack is doing is when I specifially state there is a camera there.
But yeah, I was excited about this match and got a few idea's so decided to roleplay. Looking forward to this match.
Thanks again for the feedback mate.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Sept 12, 2007 7:05:36 GMT -6
Feedback guys please.
Cheers.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Sept 14, 2007 7:28:44 GMT -6
Someone please, please give me feedback for the love of god! lol
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Post by Adam on Sept 14, 2007 8:30:31 GMT -6
Great stuff as always Mr. Manson. A lot of suspense.
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Post by msjsn3 on Sept 14, 2007 8:38:09 GMT -6
First time I read one of your role plays...I thought it was awesome... It kept me on the edge of my seat..
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Post by Spike Kane on Sept 14, 2007 10:33:23 GMT -6
Oh man, that was freakin' awesome. I loved every last bit of it, and it's given me stuff to work with to help develop Freya as a character too.
This fued owns.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Sept 15, 2007 1:35:11 GMT -6
Thanks everyone ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) Yeah this fued is going great. I enjoy using Manson as a face and his alter ego has a nuetral/heel type person. Really gets my creative juices flowing lol.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Oct 5, 2007 15:45:08 GMT -6
Feedback please guys.
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Post by Spike Kane on Oct 5, 2007 16:03:01 GMT -6
Well that came out of ****ing nowhere, lmao.
Nice roleplay dude, I enjoyed reading it. I was a little worried you weren't going to roleplay, but awesome.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Oct 5, 2007 16:05:08 GMT -6
As if I would miss this match lol. Just been abit strapped for time recently ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by Spike Kane on Oct 5, 2007 16:16:35 GMT -6
Sadly I won't get anything else up 2moro. I'll try and get two up but I doubt it...as I stay at my girlfriends on a saturday and she has no net access
(then of course there's ppv matches to be written)
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Post by Jimmy Zane on Oct 5, 2007 16:41:33 GMT -6
Dude....was that the longest RP in history.....be back later, I am calling Guiness Book on this one.... ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Oct 6, 2007 6:36:40 GMT -6
Hope that was in the positive sense and not the negative lol.
I've seen longer. I try not to make my roleplays too long otherwise it just gets boring for the readers lol.
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Post by Bannedingo on Oct 19, 2007 12:03:19 GMT -6
lol good thing i read your gimmick before i made my own or id be the biggest jack manson ripoff ever.. althogh thats an elite group anyway its the best most deep one ive read in these fourms in the short time ive been here your extremely creative. just dont buy guns bucause creative ppl with guns make all hell break loose x]
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Oct 26, 2007 16:10:07 GMT -6
Not my best roleplay by far. However it's a roleplay none the less.
Edited it and added abit more speech to it simply because a paragraph of talking is ****.
Feedback if any.
Cheers.
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Oct 28, 2007 22:14:15 GMT -6
Feed back for new roleplay please guys.
Cheers.
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Christian Kane
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Well Personally I'd like to slay the dragon
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Post by Christian Kane on Oct 29, 2007 6:50:38 GMT -6
Well.Well we meet at last lmao. I thought it was a good roleplay but to use Joe Everyman I mean come on who is he again.......Only joking in all serious was a good rp and i think im going to have to work harder to iwn this match
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Jack Manson
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Post by Jack Manson on Oct 29, 2007 9:10:01 GMT -6
Lol cheer mate. And Joe will only go from strength to strength under the wing of NWS ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Jack Manson
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Post by Jack Manson on Nov 1, 2007 15:32:57 GMT -6
New RP up.
I was going to have it so that Jack and Tony were somehow involved in what happened to Kane's wife but it struck me as too cheesey and un-real if Jack and Tony just happened to be passing by Kanes home as an attack or whatever was going on. So instead I played it differently.
Feedback please guys.
Cheers.
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Christian Kane
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Well Personally I'd like to slay the dragon
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Post by Christian Kane on Nov 1, 2007 18:05:32 GMT -6
The god damm flowers :@ it was you all along lmao. Yet again a very goog rp not that I didn't expectt one from you but should be a good match to read who ever wins doesn't mean that we have finished business ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Jack Manson
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Post by Jack Manson on Nov 1, 2007 18:18:01 GMT -6
Damn right we don't. If you happen to win that X-title I'm gunning for you ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png) lol
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Christian Kane
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Well Personally I'd like to slay the dragon
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Post by Christian Kane on Nov 1, 2007 18:25:34 GMT -6
I think that either way you would of done the rp it would of looked good more suspichus if it was at my house. And If I do win please don't take it straight away:P and you did say you was going for the extreme tittle
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Jack Manson
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It's the one that kills, not me!
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Post by Jack Manson on Nov 1, 2007 18:33:08 GMT -6
I was originally going to have the whole thief thing at your house with Manson finding Amy and the kid in mid-struggle, she gets knocked over and hits her head hard, then he has to put up with accusations from Kane.
But the way I set my roleplay out just made it far too obvious of what would happen next if I did do that.
And stop being so hard on yourself over your roleplaying ability mate. You're just as good as anyone else on here. You are good enough to win, and keep hold, of a title. And no I did mean X-division, just too lazy to type it all out lol.
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