Post by Adam on Apr 5, 2008 15:47:08 GMT -6
The Fox Report
Starring: Kelly Fox
{Suddenly your ears are filled with the sounds of Static X's "The Only" as still shots of nCw action superimposed onto news papers begin flying across your television screen. Everything has a pink and light brown feel tint to it and the news papers have been sepia toned. Finally we are show a logo that reads "The Fox Report" with Kelly Fox's signature written under it. We are then taken to a set where Kelly is standing to the left of a big flat screen monitor. Kelly smiles and the show begins.}
Welcome to the new Fox Report.... SHOW! That's right fans, no more imagining my beautiful face while reading a Fox Report, no more having to deal with my father's lame attempts at comedy, oh no! Now you get to see me in all my glory because I have taken back what is mine and I'm about to take this thing to new heights baby! Hells yeah!
We're going to kick things off in right away fans so enjoy the ride and lets begin be reviewing some things that happened last week.
Kelly's Top News
Story One
See fans, I think the big story right now has got to be Lance Ryan and his retirement saga. Am I the only one getting a little fed up with all of this drama, I mean seriously. The guy goes on a campaign to destroy...... "everything" with the Age of the Revolution and in the blink of an eye he changes his way?! Horse crap, Lance Ryan is pulling the wool over your eyes fans, he isn't a changed man, he simply doesn't care anymore and he fooled me and he fooled all of you!
Do you really expect me to believe that, that fast Lance Ryan and Reckless Jack could just give up their plight of destroying the evil in this world? Come on, I wasn't born yesterday, seriously. Reckless Jack is as slimy as he is ugly, I'll assure you that. These two can act all friendly and be all cute towards each other, hell they could even share a passionate kiss, but they won't doop me again, I'm through with them.
Kelly's Top News
Story Two
Speaking of stables I used to have a hand in.... The Empire is back. Wow.... I was the first every member of Ortega's Empire as one of his main goals was to protect me from some of these low lifes. Well fans I ask you... where was Ortega when I needed rescuing from the Age of the Revolution?! Huh!? He obviously saw them for what they were... a bunch of lying sacks of poo, but did he bother and try and sway me to his side... of course not.
Ortega can claim he's after as much gold as he wants but again, I'm about to believe that, I know what Ortega really wants and that's attention. Ortega was always the attention hog, the spotlight has to be on him at every second.... of course that isn't a bad thing, it keeps you fresh, makes you stay on your toes if you wanna stay in the limelight. However, how does he expect to have an "Empire" without his "Empress" I helped build that group, I should get some love here I tell you.
Kelly's Top News
[size3]Story Three[/size]
..... Wow.. my third story is about a couple more ex's of mine... I swear how many people have I dated in this fed for christ's sake? Anyway.... A Knitemare on Helms Street, has been sweeping through the roster since they rejoined just a few weeks back. Not only were they able to topple one of the best Tag Teams ever in nCw, Adam Knite was able to pick up a huge W against Ace and Reckless Jack last week on Collision.
I'll tell you right now, these two are nothing but a cancer to nCw. Adam doesn't care about this company any more than Trent does, they are too stuck on each other (if you know what I mean), to care about anything else. Adam, he used to be an amazing talent, but right now he's just trying to hold onto his career, and Trent.... he's such a psycho the dude actually believes his from outerspace, I mean seriously.... what is up with that? See if I was running the company I would put an end to that in the blink of an eye. I wouldn't allow those two numbnuts to walk around acting like they own this place, but my dad doesn't have the sack for it.... figures.
Kelly's Top News
Story Four
And finally, I wanna draw your attention to the screen to my left.
{The screen kicks on, and displays to last weeks Collision's Main Event. We see Jack Hammond running and putting his knees into the chest of Morris and knocking the wind out of him and picking the victory. We see it from a couple of more angles before we see the finals shoot of Collision with Hammond having his arm raised.}
Where in the blue crap did Jack Hammond come from!? I mean, one week he couldn't buy a win and in consecutive weeks he defeated Christian Kane and won the second ever nCw Showcase match! I think Hammond has officially turned the corner here. That win was impressive I tell you. He showed some incredible resiliency and sure as heck played the match smartly, he kept himself ready for everything and when he saw an opening he took advantage.
I'm telling you folks... that's how champions take care of a situation. They always have their head in the match and Hammond showed last week that he's finally getting "it". You better be watching out for this Jack Hammond, because his ceiling is high and he's just getting started. Which leads me into my next point.
Kelly's Bold Prediction of the Week
Jack Hammond
My bold prediction for this week concerns Jack Hammond. He showed in that Showcase match that he's ready for the big time, so I'm going to make my bold prediction now... from this date May 1st, 2008, is that withen a year Jack Hammond will be nCw World Champion.... BOOK IT!
That's right, you heard it here first, it will happen, I never lie. However, we need to quit looking to the distant future for a few minutes so we can look to the near future. This week's Collision.
Kelly's Matches to Watch
Match One
Non-Title Match - Xtreme Rules Match.
Lance Ryan v. Trent Helms
Last week Trent Helms tried to screw Lance over but instead ended up giving Steve Awesome the win. Then they both got an Empire beating for their efforts... how's that for irony. Now this week they will square off in a match where no rules apply, can anybody besides me see another Empire attack coming? Ortega will make his will felt in this match.
Winner: I've got a feeling that Helms will win, because Ortega just won't allow Lance Ryan to escape this match.
Kelly's Matches to Watch
Match Two
Angelv. Davey Ortega
Ortega on his show "O-TV" **Rolls Eyes** has been lobbying for an X-Division title shot for months it seems. Well Ortega may not be getting his wish, but he's getting shoved into a situation where he'll have to prove his worthy of being considered for the X-Division championship. Angel has been on a complete tare since he joined nCw, almost flawless record wise, but Ortega has been here since day one. Ortega has headlined 3 of nCw's first 4 PPV's. If anybody knows what it takes to get what he wants in this business it's Davey.
Winner: I'm going to give the edge to Ortega... it makes too much sense. Ortega has been demanding a shot for a while and he seems dead set on getting one. If he loses this match, you can pretty much kiss the X-Division title bye bye, so he's going to have some motivation.
Along with those two matches, there are several others that are definitely worth your attention fans. We have Jack Hammer and Prophet continuing their brutal attacks against each other as they will again square off before, their date at Reborn. You also have to see this match with Spike Kane and Tyler Jacobs versus Talon! Tyler's "Social Distortion" seemingly has all the cards in their hand, can the Social Enemies some how turn the tides? You'll have to see the show to find out fans.
Now, before we go off the air, I'll be taking a few calls in a segment I like to call "The Fox Line" the number is 1-900-fox-line so make sure to call in if you want to have a questioned answered by yours truly.
The Fox Line