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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 1, 2009 19:16:10 GMT -6
Ok, so I just put up my first Rp in just about 2 years, so let me know what you all think. And be honest, I've got a lot of rust to shake off.
Thanks in advance,
Brock
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Post by adm on Jun 1, 2009 19:29:02 GMT -6
Only rust I can see is that the scene description to begin with is WAY too wordy. You can do it with half...or maybe 3/4 that length, easy. Most of the other descriptions are long enough to give the idea well enough then move on. The dialogue was pretty good, and if you say you got rust...well...that's why I'm trying to give some tips That's about all for now, I think...you'll get back into shape soon enough.
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Post by Maniac on Jun 4, 2009 20:42:43 GMT -6
This is a personal pet peev of mine, and i've gotta note it here because you did it.
Brock is in an airport for like the first saw five or so minutes of that promo, the whole time he's being tailed by a guy who I'm expecting is carting around atleast a 30lb camera, and he, nor the women, nor the kid even notice the guy with the camera? I mean, in my opinion, the minute you start a promo, whether it be a dream, a story, a flash back, a camera is rolling and people are watching this, you know what I mean? Not to be insulting, I just find it hard to swallow that this guy is being tailed by a camera and only notices when he gets on the air plane.
Ok, now that I vented.
It was good, like Bates said, the descriptions were a little wordy, the rust shows a bit, but I can tell your already getting back into the swing of things man. The main thing is just working through the rust and not being afraid to ask for advice.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 5, 2009 15:46:01 GMT -6
Well, My last Promo for the week is in the bag. Any thoughts and advice are welcome.
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Post by Maniac on Jun 6, 2009 20:21:46 GMT -6
The ring rust is wearing off quickly.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 17, 2009 18:58:06 GMT -6
Ok, first one of this week is up. Any thoughts are appreciated.
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Post by adm on Jun 17, 2009 21:38:51 GMT -6
it was a nice solid shoot-type rp with some CD regarding the match. It was a nice rp...let's see if Ace counters it...and don't forget, he USED to be the world champ around here..much like Hammond, Awesome and Xavier Williams.
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Post by Maniac on Jun 17, 2009 21:47:44 GMT -6
Great rp to start with my man.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 18, 2009 18:26:22 GMT -6
Ok, so my second one is up. I think I finally got back into a good rhythm with this one. I don't think it was too long, as I needed to do some CD as well as talk about my opponent. Any thoughts are much appreciated.
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Post by adm on Jun 18, 2009 18:42:43 GMT -6
It was more balanced CD and promo wise than a lot of your fellow "new nCw members". And your rp is pretty solid, now all that remains is to wait and see what happens with the results on Sunday.
Also, I love that you talk about being "Expendable" like it's a good thing...shows you are ready to take some chances to get ahead in nCw.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 18, 2009 19:01:40 GMT -6
Yeah, I really tried to go with the story that I was given here. I'm still trying to get my legs back when it comes to being proactive about things like that. I think it's worked out so far.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 26, 2009 19:36:18 GMT -6
Ok, Moving Forward is up. I'm trying to establish Brock as more of a Face, and hopefully this was a good segway into that. Let me know gentlemen. Much appreciated.
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Post by adm on Jun 26, 2009 20:40:38 GMT -6
Something about how you wrote this rp makes me think this Preston guy you work with/for as far as PR is a bit of a...scumbag? It's not like outwardly evident but...it looks like he's trying too hard to make money and I just wonder when he's gonna book Brock in something a bit...over the top.
But it was a pretty solid rp, you're still getting that rust off and finding the new path, so keep working on it, you're getting there more and more each rp.
Also; A note about Harold: He's working with Awesome right now with the National Title scene, and he sorta kidnapped Steve Awesome's family...sister/niece.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 27, 2009 19:33:28 GMT -6
That's what I had thought, but didn't have enough time to go back and read all of his Rps to get the full picture.
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Post by Maniac on Jun 27, 2009 20:12:10 GMT -6
A solid rp indeed my friend. It won't be long before you find yourself in a title scene, I promise you that.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jun 27, 2009 22:14:16 GMT -6
wow, thanks Diamond.. That tells me that I've still got it somewhat.
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Post by Maniac on Jun 27, 2009 22:39:16 GMT -6
You definitely still got it, your getting better every week man.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jul 2, 2009 19:24:22 GMT -6
Ok, first one for my Wired match is up. Any thoughts are welcome. Also, I want to say thank you to everyone that has given me feedback. It has really helped me get back in the groove.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jul 25, 2009 19:15:05 GMT -6
Ok, it's been over a week and I got one out so I wanted to know what people think about it. Any thoughts are welcome.
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Post by Maniac on Jul 25, 2009 22:54:47 GMT -6
Short and to the point, your on fire now my friend.
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Post by Chris Brock on Jul 30, 2009 21:18:27 GMT -6
First one for Trauma is up.. I'm searching for Gold! lol.. Any thoughts are appreciated.
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Post by Chris Brock on Aug 6, 2009 1:27:24 GMT -6
Second one for Fallout is up. Enjoy.
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Post by adm on Aug 6, 2009 8:52:07 GMT -6
the first one was really to the point, but was lacking a lot of the description that is needed to help sell the anger...and the nut shot. The 2nd, was by far the better of the two, a little bit more verbose, but not overly so with a little bit more of the descriptions than the first. It was a fun read. I really like the rps coming out for this match. Hopefully I can give more in-depth analysis when all 3 are up
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Post by Chris Brock on Aug 6, 2009 15:17:26 GMT -6
I actually did that on purpose jeff. I wanted to show that Brock was pissed, but not willing to let his anger get the best of him. I do agree though that looking back I should've chosen my descriptions better.
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Post by Chris Brock on Aug 13, 2009 0:25:47 GMT -6
Just posted my first for Suspense. Enjoy!
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Post by Chris Brock on Aug 14, 2009 1:12:05 GMT -6
last one for Suspense is up. Any feed back is welcomed.
Thanks in advance.
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