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Post by Bryten Bourne on Aug 2, 2009 23:29:59 GMT -6
First rp is up.
New character. New writing style. New way I format it.
I would really love some feedback on how to improve this character and what I did good/bad in the rp.
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Post by adm on Aug 2, 2009 23:33:20 GMT -6
There are a lot of good things here but I seriously feel you need to shorten the rp. It kinda drags near the end of each segment, and overall. I mean there is some AWESOME stuff here, but to cut it down a bit might help you out in the long run.
Cut a few paragraphs from each section, overall shorten the rps, and you could seriously be in my position in the nearish future. good job...and virtually no grammar errors to speak of *gasp* a newish guy to this place that can spell...I am amazed
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Post by Bryten Bourne on Aug 2, 2009 23:38:53 GMT -6
There are a lot of good things here but I seriously feel you need to shorten the rp. It kinda drags near the end of each segment, and overall. I mean there is some AWESOME stuff here, but to cut it down a bit might help you out in the long run. Cut a few paragraphs from each section, overall shorten the rps, and you could seriously be in my position in the nearish future. good job...and virtually no grammar errors to speak of *gasp* a newish guy to this place that can spell...I am amazed I don't know why but a long rp has always kinda been my style lol. I can just write and write and write and write. Holy ****! I thought there was going to be a huge amount of grammer mistakes because I use wordpad and it doesn't have spell check. lol
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